Before there was Zombieland and before there Shaun of the Dead, we didn’t get much comedy zombie movies. Sure, there were some, but not much. However, one movie came along that I think was an underrated classic of the 90s. First off, the movie was directed door Peter Jackson… yes, the Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson. Before he made Lord of the Rings, he made this movie. And it’s just as good as Lord of the Rings…. Okay, maybe not as good, but it’s still a good movie. Anyway, let’s talk about Dead Alive (Or Braindead if u live outside of North America.





Dead Alive follows the...

Back when I was living in the extremely sitcom like neighborhood as a kid, I remember going to Edgewood Middle School. It was honestly the worst jaar of my life. However, before I found out it got bad, I remember seeing this girl. For reasons I can’t explain, we’ll just call her Girl. So, I had a huge crush on this girl. We shared three classes together, and I would always ask to sit in the back, because due to being socially awkward at the time, I was gegeven permission to choose which zitplaats, stoel I would sit at, and I would sit in the back, and would always look at her. Creepy, I know, but I was...

Masters of breakfast and champions of flavor, these two have been eaten as a delightful morning snack for ages. But the ultimate vraag still remains....... Who is better?

For what feels like the longest time French geroosterd brood, toast and pannekoeken, pannenkoeken have been competing, and today it's going to be settled. Right here, right now.

I'm Jared and it's my job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.

Contestant #1: French Toast

Also known as German, gypsy, of Spanish toast, French geroosterd brood, toast is a populair morning choice consisting of bread, eggs, and often melk of cream.

The earliest...

(NOTE: This is an old artikel I was going to do but NEVER got around to, sorry. Here's all I had done, I know it's not much.)

Villains! Often the antagonist in a toon that likes to do generally bad things for their own good. Now, there's a LOT of great villains out there, and I had to cut out a few of my favorieten as well, so understand that before reading this article.

Also, when I say media, I mean ANYTHING. Whether it's a cartoon, an anime, a movie, a sitcom, pretty much ANYTHING counts.

Now, without further ado, let's GO! =D

#10. Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget)



IF u THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT...

Announcer: LEGEND OF ZELDA: WIND WAKER HD!!! (Not caring) It’s pretty
Narrator: Evil guy came, hero killed him, he left, evil guy came back, killed everyone. GAMEPLAY TIME!
Aryl: Happy birthday brother
Link: It’s not my birthday
Aryl: It is now
Link: If u say so
(Later)
Grandma: Fuck u Link. Now takes these clothes and get out of my site
Link: I hate clothes
(Later)
Link: I hate telescopes (Looks through it and sees the Postman) I hate postmen (Looks up to see a giant bird) I hate birds (Drops girl into forest) I hate girls falling to their deaths in the woods…. Oh, and I hate references to...

Link: Man, this job is a lot meer fun than I thought (Kills monster) I mean, when do I get to help someone door killing someone (Kills another monster) It’s very rare I get to help out someone and actually have fun doing it (Kills another monster) Okay, I think I finally have enough of these things hearts…. But, I’m in no rush (Continues to kill monsters, then, hears music) What is that? Is it an angel. I got to find it (Hears muziek behind waterfall) What is this. The muziek is coming from behind this waterfall (Climbs through waterfall, leading to an empty cave) Oh, a secret cave. Good...

Komoli: Hey, u want to play my game
Link: Uh... no
Komoli: Please, play my game........ No one does. Please play it
Link: Fine...... Give me fifty rupees
Komoli: Okay
Link: Really?
Komoli: Yeah, I don't give a shit. As long as u play my game
Link: Okay (Plays game) Well, this was... a surprisingly fun game
Komoli: Hey, thanks. Hey, can u help
Link: And I was just starting to like you
Komoli: I need u to go and find my new employee. His names Baito
Link: Okay
Komoli: u can't miss him. He's outside... and he's the only guy here other than u who isn't a bird person
Link: Got it
(Later, outside)
Baito:...

Link: So, Tetra, what do we do now
Tetra: Simple (Grabs hold of him) We head to my private quarters, which is my room really, and do it like bunnies
Link: Oh, gladly
(Meanwhile)
Tetra: (Kicks Link, who is sleeping) Wake up, dumbass
Link: (Wakes up) Huh, what's going on
Tetra: Were u dreaming again
Link: Unfortunately
Tetra: Well, stop dreaming. Idiots like u don't have dreams
Link: (Sarcastic)Wow, thanks
Tetra: You're welcome. Now, get up, we're at Dragon Roost Island
Link: Wait. DRAGON ROOST ISLAND
Tetra: Yeah. Is that a problem
Link: Yes, it is. We can't go on that place
Tetra: Well, we're not leaving...

Link: Okay, so, who is the volgende helpless idiot we need to help
Tetra: Well, the volgende person on the lijst is a girl named Maggie.
Link: Go on
Tetra: Well, she is a rich girl and-
Link: Stop right there. That's all I needed to hear. If she's rich, she must be beautiful
Tetra: Uh, Link, I don't think u should-
Link: Shut up, you're not fucking me over like last time
(Later, at the House of Wealth)
Link: Okay, so, where can we find Maggie
Maggie's Father: Oh, hello. How can I help you
Link: Hey, I am here to help your daughter
Maggie's Father: Yeah, who cares? Why don't u help me? I need u to go and...

So, there are people out there who prefer anime over western cartoons and there are people who prefer western cartoons over anime. Me, personally, well, if u asked me at the age of seven, I would have zei western. But, gegeven the shit we see today, I think its obvious that anime is still making better shows. Sure, they're no Samurai Jack, Teen Titans, of Avatar: The Last Airbender, but u know what else they aren't? Teen Titans GO, Annoying oranje TV Show, and everything on Nick. So, some genius thought of a way to make an anime that has the western style animation. That toon would be the...

Nate: (Smashes a zombies head in with a bat) (Stops) Hold on. Now, if you're going to get any idea of what is going on, I think its best that we start from the beginning
(July 12th... One dag from Outbreak)
Nate: (Sleeping in bed) (Alarm clock rings and wakes him up) (Gets out of bed)
Chris: (Watching television)
Nate: (Walks in wearing a store uniform) Chris, when did u wake up
Chris: Oh. I never slept
Nate: I see....... Anyway, I'm going to get to work, okay. u just do... Whatever
Chris: Yep
Nate: (Walks out of the house)
Chris: (Keeps watching TV)

(10:00 AM.... 18 Hours Until Outbreak)
Nate: (Standing...

Ganondorf: Ha ha, no doubt my giant black guard killed Link. (Laughs)
Tetra: I honestly could care less about him
Ganondorf: Now, nothing can stop-
Link: There u are, u fuckign cheater
Ganondorf: Goddamn it, I have..... wait, what is that...... u hold the final triforce piece
Link: Yeah, so wha- (Ganondorf slaps Link)
GanondorF: I'll be taking that (Picks up Triforce piece) Yoink. Finally, I have all three pieces (Giant Triforce appears) Ha ha ha. I did it. I got the Triforce. I'm so happy, I'm actually not going to kill u all
Tetra: Really
Ganondorf: (Laughs) No, your all so fucked
Link: Hey,...

King of Red Lions: Now that we have all the orbs, we can finally place them on three islands and get into another temple
Link: FUUUUUUUU-

Blue Statue: (Heavy sigh)
Link: So, are u one of the statues I have to, for some reason, place a ball on
Blue Statue: Whatever
Link: Um.... Okay (Places ball on statue)

Red Statue: Who the fuck are you
Link: Um... I came to give u this ball
Red Statue: Get the fuck out of my face
Link: I'll just place it here (Places ball on statue)

Green Statue: Wow, man, welcome, bro
Link: Yeah, can u hold this
Green Statue: Sure man, I'll hold your ball....... Oh man, man, that...