I got, yet another, chance of being adopted when I was fourteen. I was in my room, drawing when there was a soft knock at my door. I looked up to see Ms. Bayer smiling sheepishly. I grimaced. That woman can give children nightmares with that smile.
"Hecate, there's someone here to see you." I cocked my head to the side. The only person I was interested in seeing was Officer Truman, and he always just came to my room. I shook my head and returned to my sketch. "Hecate. Get your butt up and go down to the front bureau this instant!" I sighed and got off the bed, and followed Ms. Bayer down to the front desk. Standing there was a couple, maybe in their mid-30's to early-40's. They smiled at me, and I turned my gaze to the blank uithangbord in front of me.
"Hi Hecate," the man said. "Nice to meet you." He held out his hand right in front of me. I cringed at it, and took a step back. He frowned and took his hand back.
"Um... How's your day?" the woman asked. Boring. Worthless. Take your pick.
"She doesn't speak," Ms. Bayer said. Good job on giving them the heads up, I thought.
"She can't, of she won't?" the man asked. I rolled my eyes. I hate it how people talk about me like I'm not even there. I can't even imagine what they say when I'm actually not.
"I'm told she does, but in the six years she's been here, I'm yet to hear it for myself. She has selective mutism." There was that diagnosis again. I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I'm sure she'll warm up to us," the man said. Keep dreaming.
"Alright," Ms. Bayer sighed. "Hecate, why don't u get your stuff?" I went back to my room, and began packing my things into my suitcase slowly. Then I dragged it out to where the couple was waiting. The woman put her hand on my shoulder. It felt ice cold.
"Alrighty, Dear. Let's go," she zei in a sing-song voice. I shook her hand off and followed her husband out to the car.
"I'm Kendra Stueck, and this is my husband Simon. You're going to love it at the house. We've got a big yard, plenty of room..." I blocked Kendra out for the rest of the ride home. She talked too much; it was already giving me a headache.
Soon, we got to the Stuecks' house. She wasn't exaggerating. It was a very big house.
"I'll toon u to your room, Sweetie," Mrs. Stueck said. She grabbed my suitcase and I followed her inside, and up a long staircase. My room was at the at the end of a long hallway. I was surprised when she opened the door. It was already decorated. The bed was pink, and already slept in. There was posters over a faded light green wall, and there were dirty clothes on the floor. "Oh, I'm sorry, Hecate." She began cleaning up, rapidly throwing the clothes in the hamper, and getting the sheets off the bed. "You can make your bed if u like..." she said, preoccupied.
I looked around the room. It was brightly painted and decorated, but it still had a dismal feeling to it. I felt like I sohuldn't be there.
"Sorry about the mess... This room used to belong to our oldest daughter, Averil... Now then. Just make yourself at home. Dinner's going to be ready soon." She got up and left. I made the bed, but I didn't bother to put my clothes in the dresser, of unpack any of my other stuff. I'd be out of here in two months at the most, anyways.
I began drawing again, but not long before Mr. Stueck called me down for dinner. I made my way down the hallway, when another door opened to my side. I gasped and jumped back, as a girl stepped out and stared at me. She had short blond hair, and beautiful blue eyes. She wore a white tshirt, and dark blue jeans. She looked about twelve of thirteen. She stared at me with one eyebrow raised, then shook her head and ran downstairs. I stood there in shock for a moment, then slowly made my way downstairs.
"Sit wherever u like," Mrs. Stueck told me. I took my seat, across from the girl I ran into in the hallway. Mr. Stueck went outside, shouted something, and then came back, setting plates of food on the table. A couple minuten later, a young boy came in, panting and covered in dirt. He looked to be about nine. He stared at me the same way the girl did, and took his zitplaats, stoel volgende to me. The Mr. and Mrs. Stueck took their seats, and began passing the food out to everyone's plate.
"Hecate, this is our daughter, Amica, and our son Amory," Mr. Stueck introduced. "Amica, Amory, this is Hecate." They waved, and continued eating.
After dinner, evertone, except me, gathered around the television.
"Hecate, don't u want to watch AFV with us?" Mrs. Stueck asked. I shook my head and went back up to my room to continue my sketches.
***
Everyone left me alone for the volgende couple days. I was relieved to hear I didn't have to go to school for a couple weeks, so I could get used to the new house. Amica and Amory did though, and Mrs. Stueck worked, so I was home pagina alone with her husband for the weekdays. I didn't mind him. I didn't bother him, and he didn't bother me.
It only grew to be a problem when I got extremely hungry one afternoon. Mrs. Stueck had zei to make myself at home, but I didn't feel right just taking food. Mr. Stueck was reading at the keuken-, keuken table. I stood there for a while, debating on whether of not I could make it to avondeten, diner time. It was three o'clock. I'm not so sure. Mr. Stueck looked up from the newspaper and raised his eyebrows at me. My throat closed up.
"Is there something u want?" he asked. I shifted my weight, then shook my head and left. When I got back to my room, my throat finally seemed to loosen up. I sighed and sat on the divan, bank that was built into the wall, door the window. I began drawing Mrs. Stueck's garden; all the roses, daisies, lilacs-- my stomach growled. I ignored it and went back to drawing the beautiful flowers. My stomach growled louder. I sighed, and slowly went back downstairs.
"Yes?" Mr. Stueck said. I took a deep breath, and opened my mouth, but nothing came out. A small whimper cmae out, and I cleared my throat. The whole time, Mr. Stueck stared at me with a patient look. I took another deep breath.
"Can I get food?" I whispered. It was barely audible, and I hoped I didn't have to repeat myself. But thankfully, he heard.
"I don't know, can you?" Ok, now he was just being a jerk.
"May I?" I muttered.
"Yes u may, Hecate," he nodded. I took a deep breath of relief and went to the refrigerator.
After eating a snack, I went back up to my room. I was about to finish my drawing, when I heard running, and the shouts of kids. All of a sudden, my door flew open, and there was Amory with a couple other boys his age.
"This is my new sister Hecate!" he announced. I bit my tongue, and shifted my weight uncomfortably. They didn't stay long though, and left. I took a couple deep breaths, and then went to close my door, when Mrs. Stueck came in.
"Hello, Hecate. How was your day?" I went back and sat on the bed. I brought my knees up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them. I shrugged. There was an awkward silence. I don't know why I called them "awkward" silences still. I should be used to them door now. "Is there anything u want to talk about?" I shook my head. She patted my knee. "Well, if u do, u can come to any of us." She got up and left, and I was relieved to be alone again.
A couple hours later, Amica came up.
"Hi," she zei in a monotone. I watched her as she sat on the edge of the bed, just a foot away from me. "Are u fourteen?" she asked. I nodded. Amica nodded as well, taking in my answer. "They wanted u to fill Averil's space... I mean, not take her place, but... They needed someone else to take care of so they're occupied." I wanted to ask her about this Averil girl, but I couldn't manage it yet.
"Dinner!" Mr. Stueck called.
"Come on," Amica zei kindly. She left the room and went downstairs. I stared after her for a while. She was nice. I sighed and went down to dinner.
After dinner, I was about to go up to my room, when there was a knock at the door. I stopped, and stood halfway behind the wall, watching to see who it was.
"Hello?" Mrs. Stueck said, opening the door. She seemed worried. I couldn't really see who it was yet.
"Yes, uh, is Hecate here?" I recognized the voice instantly.
"Uh, sure..?" Mrs. Stueck stepped inside, and in walked Officer Truman. I smiled at him, and the Stueck's looked at me shocked.
"Hey there!" he said. He came over and gave me a hug. He turned to face everyone else to explain. "I'm Dan Truman. I've known Hecate since she was eight when--" he stopped. "Well, she's a good friend of mine. When I found out she got adopted, I just had to come and congratulate her new family. She's a real amazing girl." I blushed at his compliments.
"Oh, how wonderful," Mrs. Stueck smiled. "Make yourself at home, Officer Truman."
"Want to toon me around?" he asked, looking down at me. Even though I'd grown since I was eight, Officer Truman was still much taller than me. I nodded and ran upstairs, knowing he'd follow. I brought him to my new room, and I sat on my bed. He stood in the doorway, looking around. "Real nice," he complimented. I nodded. "Do u like it here?" I shrugged. "What are your new siblings' names?"
"Amica and Amory," I zei quietly.
"Do u like them?" I shrugged. "Well, I'm glad to see you've finally found a home, Hecate." I furrowed my eyebrows.
"They'll just take me back," I murmured.
"No, I don't think so. They seem to really like you. Much meer than the other families you've been with."
"All nine of them," I sighed.
"Well, I know it's difficult for you, but... Maybe if u put up meer of an effort." I brought my knees up to my chest and shook my head. "You can at least try, Hecate..." He began to leave. "Bye."
"Are u coming back?" I asked. He shook his head, and I frowned.
"Why?"
"You have a home pagina now. u don't need me and it's hardly appropriate." He gave me a sad smile and waved, then left. This was just great. If having a family meant I'd lose the only person who I ever felt veilig around, I didn't want a family. I bit my tongue and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't stay like this for long though. The darkness always reminds me of the first years of my life. The close darkness, and the hostility of my parents... It's hard enough at night. I have nightmares often.
There was a knock at the door. Amica came in slowly.
"You know that cop?" she asked incredulously. I nodded. "Whoa... Do u talk to him?" I nodded and she looked at me thoughtfully. "Why won't u talk to us then?" I frowned. Many people have asked me that, but I never felt guilty for it before. I took a deep breath, trying to get my now constricted throat to open up, so I could try and talk to her. No one ever realized how hard this was for me. I remember how terrified I was when I first spoke to Officer Truman. Mom had told me not to tell them anything. I knew it was ridiculous to still follow that rule now, but I guess a part in me still feared she'd come back if I did.
Other than that, it was almost physically impossible for me to speak to others. I opened my mouth, but again, nothing came out. Amica rolled her eyes and stood up.
"Just forget it," she sighed. She left the room.
"I can't," I whimpered, but she was already out of earshot.
"Hecate, there's someone here to see you." I cocked my head to the side. The only person I was interested in seeing was Officer Truman, and he always just came to my room. I shook my head and returned to my sketch. "Hecate. Get your butt up and go down to the front bureau this instant!" I sighed and got off the bed, and followed Ms. Bayer down to the front desk. Standing there was a couple, maybe in their mid-30's to early-40's. They smiled at me, and I turned my gaze to the blank uithangbord in front of me.
"Hi Hecate," the man said. "Nice to meet you." He held out his hand right in front of me. I cringed at it, and took a step back. He frowned and took his hand back.
"Um... How's your day?" the woman asked. Boring. Worthless. Take your pick.
"She doesn't speak," Ms. Bayer said. Good job on giving them the heads up, I thought.
"She can't, of she won't?" the man asked. I rolled my eyes. I hate it how people talk about me like I'm not even there. I can't even imagine what they say when I'm actually not.
"I'm told she does, but in the six years she's been here, I'm yet to hear it for myself. She has selective mutism." There was that diagnosis again. I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I'm sure she'll warm up to us," the man said. Keep dreaming.
"Alright," Ms. Bayer sighed. "Hecate, why don't u get your stuff?" I went back to my room, and began packing my things into my suitcase slowly. Then I dragged it out to where the couple was waiting. The woman put her hand on my shoulder. It felt ice cold.
"Alrighty, Dear. Let's go," she zei in a sing-song voice. I shook her hand off and followed her husband out to the car.
"I'm Kendra Stueck, and this is my husband Simon. You're going to love it at the house. We've got a big yard, plenty of room..." I blocked Kendra out for the rest of the ride home. She talked too much; it was already giving me a headache.
Soon, we got to the Stuecks' house. She wasn't exaggerating. It was a very big house.
"I'll toon u to your room, Sweetie," Mrs. Stueck said. She grabbed my suitcase and I followed her inside, and up a long staircase. My room was at the at the end of a long hallway. I was surprised when she opened the door. It was already decorated. The bed was pink, and already slept in. There was posters over a faded light green wall, and there were dirty clothes on the floor. "Oh, I'm sorry, Hecate." She began cleaning up, rapidly throwing the clothes in the hamper, and getting the sheets off the bed. "You can make your bed if u like..." she said, preoccupied.
I looked around the room. It was brightly painted and decorated, but it still had a dismal feeling to it. I felt like I sohuldn't be there.
"Sorry about the mess... This room used to belong to our oldest daughter, Averil... Now then. Just make yourself at home. Dinner's going to be ready soon." She got up and left. I made the bed, but I didn't bother to put my clothes in the dresser, of unpack any of my other stuff. I'd be out of here in two months at the most, anyways.
I began drawing again, but not long before Mr. Stueck called me down for dinner. I made my way down the hallway, when another door opened to my side. I gasped and jumped back, as a girl stepped out and stared at me. She had short blond hair, and beautiful blue eyes. She wore a white tshirt, and dark blue jeans. She looked about twelve of thirteen. She stared at me with one eyebrow raised, then shook her head and ran downstairs. I stood there in shock for a moment, then slowly made my way downstairs.
"Sit wherever u like," Mrs. Stueck told me. I took my seat, across from the girl I ran into in the hallway. Mr. Stueck went outside, shouted something, and then came back, setting plates of food on the table. A couple minuten later, a young boy came in, panting and covered in dirt. He looked to be about nine. He stared at me the same way the girl did, and took his zitplaats, stoel volgende to me. The Mr. and Mrs. Stueck took their seats, and began passing the food out to everyone's plate.
"Hecate, this is our daughter, Amica, and our son Amory," Mr. Stueck introduced. "Amica, Amory, this is Hecate." They waved, and continued eating.
After dinner, evertone, except me, gathered around the television.
"Hecate, don't u want to watch AFV with us?" Mrs. Stueck asked. I shook my head and went back up to my room to continue my sketches.
***
Everyone left me alone for the volgende couple days. I was relieved to hear I didn't have to go to school for a couple weeks, so I could get used to the new house. Amica and Amory did though, and Mrs. Stueck worked, so I was home pagina alone with her husband for the weekdays. I didn't mind him. I didn't bother him, and he didn't bother me.
It only grew to be a problem when I got extremely hungry one afternoon. Mrs. Stueck had zei to make myself at home, but I didn't feel right just taking food. Mr. Stueck was reading at the keuken-, keuken table. I stood there for a while, debating on whether of not I could make it to avondeten, diner time. It was three o'clock. I'm not so sure. Mr. Stueck looked up from the newspaper and raised his eyebrows at me. My throat closed up.
"Is there something u want?" he asked. I shifted my weight, then shook my head and left. When I got back to my room, my throat finally seemed to loosen up. I sighed and sat on the divan, bank that was built into the wall, door the window. I began drawing Mrs. Stueck's garden; all the roses, daisies, lilacs-- my stomach growled. I ignored it and went back to drawing the beautiful flowers. My stomach growled louder. I sighed, and slowly went back downstairs.
"Yes?" Mr. Stueck said. I took a deep breath, and opened my mouth, but nothing came out. A small whimper cmae out, and I cleared my throat. The whole time, Mr. Stueck stared at me with a patient look. I took another deep breath.
"Can I get food?" I whispered. It was barely audible, and I hoped I didn't have to repeat myself. But thankfully, he heard.
"I don't know, can you?" Ok, now he was just being a jerk.
"May I?" I muttered.
"Yes u may, Hecate," he nodded. I took a deep breath of relief and went to the refrigerator.
After eating a snack, I went back up to my room. I was about to finish my drawing, when I heard running, and the shouts of kids. All of a sudden, my door flew open, and there was Amory with a couple other boys his age.
"This is my new sister Hecate!" he announced. I bit my tongue, and shifted my weight uncomfortably. They didn't stay long though, and left. I took a couple deep breaths, and then went to close my door, when Mrs. Stueck came in.
"Hello, Hecate. How was your day?" I went back and sat on the bed. I brought my knees up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them. I shrugged. There was an awkward silence. I don't know why I called them "awkward" silences still. I should be used to them door now. "Is there anything u want to talk about?" I shook my head. She patted my knee. "Well, if u do, u can come to any of us." She got up and left, and I was relieved to be alone again.
A couple hours later, Amica came up.
"Hi," she zei in a monotone. I watched her as she sat on the edge of the bed, just a foot away from me. "Are u fourteen?" she asked. I nodded. Amica nodded as well, taking in my answer. "They wanted u to fill Averil's space... I mean, not take her place, but... They needed someone else to take care of so they're occupied." I wanted to ask her about this Averil girl, but I couldn't manage it yet.
"Dinner!" Mr. Stueck called.
"Come on," Amica zei kindly. She left the room and went downstairs. I stared after her for a while. She was nice. I sighed and went down to dinner.
After dinner, I was about to go up to my room, when there was a knock at the door. I stopped, and stood halfway behind the wall, watching to see who it was.
"Hello?" Mrs. Stueck said, opening the door. She seemed worried. I couldn't really see who it was yet.
"Yes, uh, is Hecate here?" I recognized the voice instantly.
"Uh, sure..?" Mrs. Stueck stepped inside, and in walked Officer Truman. I smiled at him, and the Stueck's looked at me shocked.
"Hey there!" he said. He came over and gave me a hug. He turned to face everyone else to explain. "I'm Dan Truman. I've known Hecate since she was eight when--" he stopped. "Well, she's a good friend of mine. When I found out she got adopted, I just had to come and congratulate her new family. She's a real amazing girl." I blushed at his compliments.
"Oh, how wonderful," Mrs. Stueck smiled. "Make yourself at home, Officer Truman."
"Want to toon me around?" he asked, looking down at me. Even though I'd grown since I was eight, Officer Truman was still much taller than me. I nodded and ran upstairs, knowing he'd follow. I brought him to my new room, and I sat on my bed. He stood in the doorway, looking around. "Real nice," he complimented. I nodded. "Do u like it here?" I shrugged. "What are your new siblings' names?"
"Amica and Amory," I zei quietly.
"Do u like them?" I shrugged. "Well, I'm glad to see you've finally found a home, Hecate." I furrowed my eyebrows.
"They'll just take me back," I murmured.
"No, I don't think so. They seem to really like you. Much meer than the other families you've been with."
"All nine of them," I sighed.
"Well, I know it's difficult for you, but... Maybe if u put up meer of an effort." I brought my knees up to my chest and shook my head. "You can at least try, Hecate..." He began to leave. "Bye."
"Are u coming back?" I asked. He shook his head, and I frowned.
"Why?"
"You have a home pagina now. u don't need me and it's hardly appropriate." He gave me a sad smile and waved, then left. This was just great. If having a family meant I'd lose the only person who I ever felt veilig around, I didn't want a family. I bit my tongue and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't stay like this for long though. The darkness always reminds me of the first years of my life. The close darkness, and the hostility of my parents... It's hard enough at night. I have nightmares often.
There was a knock at the door. Amica came in slowly.
"You know that cop?" she asked incredulously. I nodded. "Whoa... Do u talk to him?" I nodded and she looked at me thoughtfully. "Why won't u talk to us then?" I frowned. Many people have asked me that, but I never felt guilty for it before. I took a deep breath, trying to get my now constricted throat to open up, so I could try and talk to her. No one ever realized how hard this was for me. I remember how terrified I was when I first spoke to Officer Truman. Mom had told me not to tell them anything. I knew it was ridiculous to still follow that rule now, but I guess a part in me still feared she'd come back if I did.
Other than that, it was almost physically impossible for me to speak to others. I opened my mouth, but again, nothing came out. Amica rolled her eyes and stood up.
"Just forget it," she sighed. She left the room.
"I can't," I whimpered, but she was already out of earshot.