advertisementFiona: [to Sam] There's something I've always wanted to tell u and I think you're ready to hear it. You're not very pretty, and you're not very bright. Oh, I'm so glad we had that talk.

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Shelby: What can I get here that has no sugar, no carbs, and is fat free?
Sam: Water.

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Austin: u need a wax.
Sam: Excuse me?
Austin: [laughs] I meant the car.

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