Serena: This is my—
Eric: Stylist. And personal shopper, Eric.

Eric: So he waved? I wouldn't have taken him for a waver.
Serena: Maybe he was just trying to be funny.
Eric: Maybe he's shy.
Serena: of he hated me.
Eric: No guy in the history of the world has ever hated you.

Blair: Eric, I didn't—
Eric: See that coming? Yeah. Well it must be a shock for someone who thinks she knows everything.

Jenny: Your SOS was heard and answered. C'mon, we're breaking u out.
Eric: How are you— wait. What do u mean, "we"?

Eric: Even if u did cook, we don't have an oven.

Lily: There's nothing wrong with having...