Anger is the Best Remedy for Love- Chapter Six
“Carter Baizen.”
She felt her mouth go dry and found that no words could even express her shock and surprise. First Dan, then Nate, and now Carter. “Are u sure it’s his?” Blair whispered.
Serena took it as a sign that Blair hadn’t bolted yet that she was going to help her out with this. “I’m sure,” she confirmed. “Dan and I haven’t slept together in months because of some problems, with Nate it was only that one time and we used protection, but with Carter it’s been meer than once and we haven’t used anything.” She tilted her chin to toon that she wasn’t ashamed of what she just revealed.
“I thought that u were in love with Dan of are u in love with Nate, and what are u going to do about Carter?”
Serena touched her stomach lightly, but u couldn’t tell that she was pregnant. She had time to figure things out. “I haven’t been in love with Dan for months,” she started, but the Blair interrupted her.
“What about Nate?” she asked quickly while she straightened out her headband.
“I’ve never been in love with him, B,” Blair looked at her harshly, and she admitted, “I’m attracted to him, but it’s never been meer than that. I don’t blame u for being doubtful, but I promise u that Nate is nothing meer to me than a good friend.”
“Your promises don’t mean anything to me, Serena.” She whispered savagely.
Serena’s half-smile faded. “Well, I just wanted to ease your mind and let u know that u have nothing to worry about with me anymore. Nate is all yours.”
Blair suddenly felt guilty about judging Serena so much because really she had done almost the same thing. She had cheated on her boyfriend with Chuck and she couldn’t make herself feel sorry for doing that because she had loved it and it had gegeven her too much pleasure. She sighed, “I know, S. We have to forgive each other sometime, but I just don’t know if I can trust u after everything that has happened.”
Serena crushed her and threw her arms around her in a wild hug. “I’m going to prove that u can trust me again, B.”
“And how are u going to do that?” she asked, once she had gotten her breath back and Serena finally let go of her.
“By telling u something that I’ve never told anyone. I just admitted it to myself a few days geleden and I’m trusting u because if u wanted, u could go to Gossip Girl with this and basically crush me with this information.”
“What?” she asked, but she was still doubtful about what Serena was saying.
“I’m in love with, Carter.” Serena admitted with a dazed and loving look on her face.
“What?!”
She laughed. “Yes, it’s true. I love him.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying, Serena. You’re not making any sense.”
The dreamy look did not leave her face. “I know it seems crazy, but I’ve known him for almost my entire life and a couple of weeks geleden we just kind of reconnected. He’s not as bad as everyone makes him out to be. He’s gorgeous, intelligent, a bit of a bad boy, and mysterious. All of that intrigues me and plus, he’s got the goods in bed.” She zei with a naughty smile.
“Serena! You’re going to make my ears bleed. And this is Carter Baizen we’re talking about. Have u gone insane? He’s vermin.”
“He’s not, Blair. I know he acts like that most of the time, but with me he’s completely different. I’ve always zei that it takes the right woman to change a man for the better, although I wouldn’t want to change him too much.”
Blair noticed the sudden frown that popped up on Serena’s face. “What’s wrong now? Have u told him that you’re pregnant?”
“No,” she shook her head and her blond hair whipped all over the place. “I’m pretty sure that I’m in love with him, but I know that he doesn’t feel the same way. Carter is a love em and leave em type of person, not all that unlike Chuck.” Blair blanched at the sudden mention of Chuck and Serena apologized. “Sorry, B. I know u hate Chuck, but they are very alike.”
The guilt started to come in waves since Serena was being so honest about her own feelings, while she was still hiding what she felt for Chuck. She couldn’t think of him though because his recent betrayal sent pain racing through her. “What are u going to do, S?” She hadn’t even realized that she had wrapped an arm around Serena’s shoulders.
“I don’t know,” she looked worriedly down at her stomach. “I’m sure that Carter doesn’t want to be a father at eighteen, but it’s going to happen now. I’m going to have to tell him, right?”
“Yes, u will. He has to know.”
“I know that, but I need meer time to evaluate my feelings for him before I do anything rash.”
Blair nodded once. “Thank u for telling me.”
“I wanted to let u know that I trust you, Blair, and you’re like my sister. I wouldn’t tell anyone other than u first. We have to forget the past and start over again.” Blair felt tears spring to her eyes and she leaned over and shared another hug with Serena. Both of the girls wiped away their tears and laughed before Serena asked, “So how are things with u and Nate?”
“I broke up with Nate a couple of weeks ago.” Blair watched as the blonde’s face took on a look of amazement. “Why?” Serena finally managed.
“For a lot of reasons, but he’s always been so hung up on u and I don’t want to do that anymore with him. I don’t think I could ever trust him again and I don’t really want to. I’m not in love with him and I think it’s for the best.”
Serena looked sympathetic to the situation. “Are u okay with it of are u upset?”
“I was a little upset at first, but not anymore,” before she had a chance to think about it Blair blurted out, “I think that I’m in love with somebody else.”
“Who?! Is that why u were having problems with Nate? Is it someone that we know?”
A chuckle escaped her at Serena’s barrage of questioning and she wanted to tell her, but she didn’t know if she could actually trust her. Serena had hurt her so many times before. She knew how insecure she was about certain things and especially after the disaster of Serena sleeping with Nate, yet again. If she told her, would she run to go text Gossip Girl? If she did that, she would never live it down. But finally the choice wasn’t left up to her because she found her lips moving and uttering the word, “Chuck.”
Serena squinted and appeared confused. “Chuck who?”
“Are u going to make me spell it out, S? The Chuck we all know and have for years! Chuck Bass.”
Serena actually gasped. “You have to be joking! u hate Chuck as much as he hates you. Is this your idea of some ridiculous joke, Blair?”
No,” she shook her head, “this is not a joke. I’m completely serious. I’ve been denying it for a while, but I’m in love with Chuck. And it’s painful to think about now because he betrayed me in the worst way.”
“You’re losing me, B. I can’t even begin to inpakken, wrap my mind around the fact that you’re in love with Chuck, so start at the beginning. How did this happen and does he feel the same way about you?”
“Alright. I’ve always hated Chuck. Ever since I can remember. He’s everything that I hate. He’s vile, has no regard for anyone besides himself, and he does horrible things, but that’s in the past now. A couple of months ago, Nate, did something to me that I thought was horrible and I wanted revenge on him, so I figured the best way to go about something like that would be to sleep with his best friend.” When she saw that Serena was about to interrupt, she stalled her. “It doesn’t matter that I hated him, all I was thinking about was how much I wanted to hurt Nate and the best way to go about that was through Chuck. So, I went and after some arguing, Chuck and I almost slept together. We were interrupted in the nick of time, but ever since that night it’s been different.”
“How so?” Serena asked, while being entranced door what Blair was describing.
She gave a little sigh of contentment. “It’s kind of hard to explain, but since that night when we put our differences aside for a few minuten and just started to talk, and it’s been a 180. I looked vooruit, voorwaarts to seeing him, I wanted to hear what he had to say, I wanted to spend time with Chuck, and then I realized that I had misjudged him all those years. But then I thought maybe I didn’t hate him, but instead I was holding onto the hate, so that I didn’t get hurt. Maybe I’ve liked Chuck all along, but was hiding behind a mask.”
“You really do love him, don’t u Blair?”
“I do,” she admitted as she took Serena’s hand. “I love him so much that it’s painful. I think about him dag and night, and what he’s doing at that exact moment. And even when I don’t want to, he pops into my mind somehow. I want him to know how I feel, but I know that I can never tell him without getting my hart-, hart broken.”
“I’ve never felt like that about anyone, B.”
“Then maybe you’ve never actually be in love, Serena. Because this is how it feels. There is pain and tribulations, but there is also happiness and feeling elated when u see that person that u do love.”
“Maybe it’s not the kind of love that u feel,” Serena admitted, “but to me it feels like love, but maybe it’s just a deep attraction. I can’t even tell.”
“That’s not love, S,” Blair replied sadly. “More like an infatuation.”
Serena shrugged and she took that to mean that the conversation was over. “Does Nate know?”
“No. And I’m not going to tell him because nothing is ever going to happen again between Chuck and I. He doesn’t feel the same way about me and while that hurts terribly, I’m not going to put myself out there again only to get hurt.”
“That’s what love is though, Blair. Sometimes u have to put yourself out there and u can get the greatest thing in return. Maybe u should give it a chance and I can’t believe that I’m even saying that because I don’t like him, but if he makes u happy, I’m happy for you, B.”
“I can’t.” Blair zei and she was mortified to feel tears pricking her eyes. She blinked hastily and willed the tears to go away. “I went to him a few weeks ago, right after I broke up with Nate and he betrayed me in the worst way. He was going to sleep with a prostitute and if he was going to do that, then I can never trust him again.”
“Are u sure?”
“Yes.” She decided to switch tactics and asked, “How far are u along, S? I can’t believe that you’re going to be a mother already. I always thought that I would have the perfect family and children to go with that before u ever would.” She added a little bitterly.
“I took a pregnancy test a couple of days ago, so I’m guessing around five weeks, but I have to go to the doctor, so that he can bevestig it.”
“Pregnancy tests can be wrong sometimes, Serena. Maybe you’re not pregnant, but u should really go to the doctor, so u can find out.”
“I took five different tests and they all zei the same thing,” she clarified.
“You’re really pregnant.”
XOXO
Blair walked through the school courtyard, trying to hurry into school so that the prying eyes would leave her alone. She hated the attention that her breakup with Nate had created. They had been broken up for weeks now, but it was so still fresh in everyone else’s minds. She brushed her plaid rok down her legs, and felt the burning of several eyes into the back of her skull. When she had almost reached the door, someone grabbed her and turned her around to face them. Great. Nate. This was all she needed now.
She met his gaze, but her eyes fell to something beyond Nate. Chuck. He was several yards away, but she looked at him over Nate’s shoulder. Chuck’s eyes didn’t waver from her face and neither did hers from his, but she noticed that his gaze seemed haunted almost, like he was miserable. They hadn’t talked since she had stormed out of his suite after the incident with the whore. He had tried several times to get her to talk to him, but she would not be swayed. Not because she didn’t want to be, but because she knew that he would only end up hurting her yet again and she had to protect herself from that.
The butterflies came back and she willed herself to look away before she did something stupid. Something like racing through the courtyard and planting her lips on him in a feverous caress. A small smirk was planted across his face, but she promptly returned her attention to Nate.
“I need to talk to you, Blair.”
“About?” she asked stiffly.
“About this ridiculous breakup of ours. We can work through our problems, u know that.”
“No. We can’t, Nate. We’ve been through this many times before and I don’t wish to discuss it anymore.” She turned to leave, but he latched onto her arm again and appeared angry. Blair looked at him as though he were a pesky fly that needed swatting and her gaze immediately wandered back to Chuck. His eyes were dark with fury, as he saw Nate’s hand wrapped tightly around her slim wrist. She saw his feet shuffle a couple of steps vooruit, voorwaarts and she shook her head furiously to signal that he shouldn’t come over and help her out. That was all she needed right now, for Gossip Girl to use something else against her. Chuck didn’t look like he was going to listen to her, but she finally looked away from him.
“What are u doing, Blair?” Nate finally asked, regarding her shaking her head and not paying attention to him.
“Nothing,” she snapped. “Let go of me.”
He finally seemed to notice that her wrist was turning white from the pressure of his hand and instantly let go of her. He tried to rub the spot, but she threw his hand off.
“Blair, please reconsider us.” He tried to appeal to her better senses, but she didn’t look like she was listening.
“I told u before that I was done and I meant it. We’ve been over for a long time, Nate, and I’ve accepted that, now u should do the same. You’ll be better off in the long run.”
“I can’t. I still love you,” he insisted. What is it going to take for u to give me another shot?”
Blair peered into his face and wondered what she had ever seen in him. He had boyish good looks and was incredible to look at, but other than that he didn’t have much going for him. He was dull and boring, and he had never seemed to care for her needs of what would make her happy. So what her made her stay with him for so long? What had she tortured herself? The answer was simple. It was better to be stuck with Nate, rather than have no one. But now someone else appealed to her. She still felt his dark gaze on her across the courtyard and it continued to boil her blood. His dark looks and lustful gazes did much meer for her then Nate had ever. His body was rather imperfect and it wasn’t sculpted like Nate’s, but to her Chuck’s was perfect. Nothing appealed to her more. She wanted him in the worst way, but she had to listen to the advice that she had just gegeven Nate and force herself to let go of Chuck and the love that she felt for him, it was the only way that she would ever survive. It was for her own good and she just had to keep reminding herself of that.
“You don’t love me, Nate.” Blair stated the truth plainly, but with no malice of ill will intended. She just knew it to be a fact.
“How do u know that?” he asked, rather irked. “I zei that I want you, so what makes u think that?”
“I’m not what u want. u afraid to let go of our relationship because u don’t want to go out there and be alone without knowing what’s going to happen, but what we have isn’t worth saving anymore, Nate. It’s time to let go. u know that as well as I do.”
“That’s not it. I just don’t want us to throw away something when I know we can make it work again, Blair.”
“We’ve tried so many times!” she zei as she slapped her hand against her thigh to toon her agitation at the course of the conversation. “I’m tired of trying and I don’t want to do it anymore and I know that it wouldn’t work out again, so I’m not going to put in the effort. I will not be made a fool of door u yet again.”
“You’re just going to give up then? Sometimes things get rough, but u have to fight for them.”
“Okay,” she acknowledged. “Let me ask u one vraag and I want u to answer it honestly, even if it’s not something that I want to hear, alright?”
“Yes.” Nate automatically agreed.
“Are u in love with Serena?”
Nate swallowed hard. “Yes,” he answered after a moment’s hesitation.
She tilted her head vooruit, voorwaarts to toon that she had heard him. “And u still want to pretend like there is something between?” Blair asked on a growl. “You just admitted that u were in love with Serena! To my face!”
“You asked me and I answered u honestly. I thought that was what u wanted.”
He just didn’t get it. It surprised her sometimes how dense and stupid Nate could be. How could he not understand that it would upset her if he zei that he was in love with her best friend? “If you’re in love with Serena, why do u want me?”
“Because I can’t have Serena and I want to make us work.”
The nerve of him! This was only because he couldn’t have the true person that he wanted. She slapped him across the face. Hard. Everyone stared at her, most of all Chuck, but she didn’t care. She was too involved in what she was about to say next. “So I’m seconde best?” she screeched at the top, boven of her lungs.
Nate sighed tiredly and looked around the courtyard. “Lower your voice and that’s now what I meant.”
“Yes, it is. That’s exactly what u meant, but you’re never going to have Serena, u know that right?”
“What do u mean?” he asked on a worried frown.
Blair marveled over the fact that he seemed to have no regard for her feelings whatsoever. “You’re never going to have, Serena, u asshole!” she hissed. She’s pregnant and you’re not the father.”
She delighted in the way that he bit his lower lip and the hurt that radiated in his eyes at her revelation. He had hurt her so much over the years and it was time that he felt a little bit of the pain. “We’re done for good!”
Blair stormed away from him, only to leave him in the wake of the curious looks and the whispers. Nate turned to go after Blair, but Chuck caught up to him and zei one word rather harshly. “Don’t.” He then went inside and left Nate door himself. The news of their fight was already on Gossip Girl.
XOXO
Blair had just flopped down on her bed after the long and tiring dag that she had and was going through her text messages when she heard Dorota’s clipped English say, “You have a visitor, Miss Blair.”
“Alright.” Figuring that it was Serena because who else would it be, she opened the door. Only to find herself face to face with Chuck.
She took in his appearance as his eyes greedily raked over her features, seeing as they hadn’t been in the same room for at least a month. She found herself reaching for him, but she stopped herself at the last second. He had hurt her. She wouldn’t allow him in it again. “Dorota!” she screeched and Chuck took a step back.
The Polish maid’s head peeked out for the corner and she looked a bit terrified at Blair’s tone of voice. “Yes, Miss Blair?”
“What have I told u about letting this certain visitor in?” she sneered. “I thought we had an agreement that Mr. bas, bass is never supposed to be let in under any circumstances.”
“He was very adamant.” Dorota answered.
“Fine.” Blair waved a hand and dismissed her. She didn’t think that she had ever seen her run down the stairs so fast.
Chuck was about to go into her room, but she barred his entrance. “You have to leave. I told u before that I never wanted to see u again and obviously u didn’t understand me, but you’re not welcomed here, Chuck.”
He moved her arm from the door and proceeded into the bedroom. She didn’t stop him, she was too shaken up from the tingles that started racing down her arm when he had touched her and how her pulse had sped up.
“You never let me explain what happened that night, Blair. It wasn’t what u thought.” He zei simply as he sat down on her bed.
“What was there to explain? I think it was pretty self explanatory.” Her voice rose in fury and she placed her hands on her hips, which only pulled the length of her rok higher on her thighs and gave way to how it conformed to her shape.
“You’re so sexy when you’re angry, B.” His voice was silky and husky and she could see the desire in his eyes.
She slapped his hand away from her where it had been reaching to touch her. “Don’t come on to me, u Basshole!”
“Are u going to let me explain then, Blair?” he asked very tiredly. “I know what it looked like, but that wasn’t the case. I promise you.”
“Your promises mean don’t mean anything to me. You’ve proved time and time again that I can’t trust you, Chuck. What’s different about this time?”
“Everything can be different.” Blair was surprised door the conviction in his eyes. “I’ve been so miserable without you, Blair.”
“No, u don’t get to do that. u don’t get to act like that victim with what u did. I broke up with Nate for you, Bass!” she felt the tears begin to form in her eyes and she did everything that she could to hold them back because she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making her cry. “I wanted u and I gave u the benefit of the doubt, but u betrayed me door thinking that u could have whores and prostitutes on the side!” The tears began to fall down her face. She couldn’t stop them.
He zei nothing for a minute, but he finally roared, “I only asked her to come over to my suite because I wanted to toon u how much I wanted you. I was going to in front of your face tell her that I wouldn’t be needing whores anymore. I don’t need her services anymore of anybody else’s!”
His words finally began to penetrate her brain, but she still asked, “What are u talking about?”
“I wanted to toon u that I was serious about you, Blair. I figured that if I brought some random whore to my suite and made a big deal about how I didn’t need that because I didn’t want that kind of performance from people like her anymore, that u might finally realize how much I want you. It’s not just a game for me.”
She swallowed hard and meer tears fell from her eyes.
He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and gave her a light shake. “That was for your benefit, Blair. I knew that if I told u that I wanted to be with u that u would never believe it, so I wanted to prove it to you. Are u going to believe me of not?”
“I want to,” she whispered. “But how do I know that you’re telling the truth? How do I know that this isn’t just another one of your elaborate schemes? How am I supposed to know what to believe?”
“You trust me,” she stared down at the floor as he zei this and Chuck withdrew something from the pocket of his suit jacket. “Or u can watch this. I recorded the whole thing. I had a feeling something like this would happen, so I set up a camera and everything is on here, Blair.” He zei as he waved the tiny tape in front of her face.
With a fumbling hand she reached out for the tape and he dropped it lightly into her hand. She let it fall to the floor and stomped on it with the stiletto of her heel. “I believe you. I don’t need any evidence because I do trust you.” Blair remarked as she looked into his eyes. She had to believe him and she found that she did. She could always tell when he was lying and this wasn’t one of those times when he was.
Chuck stepped vooruit, voorwaarts and looked at the shattered tape that littered the floor. He smiled as he touched her cheek. “I want u and only you, Blair. There is no one else that I would rather be with.”
She knew that was the only declaration that she was going to get from him. She didn’t know if he loved her, but it didn’t matter in the moment. What he had just zei was enough. She grabbed his hand and said, “I feel the same way. You’re it for me, Bass.”
He rested his forehead against hers and his hands traveled down to her waist. He finally dipped his head and gently laid his lips against hers. He began to verplaats his mouth over hers and it was everything that it should have been.
He darted his tongue out, trailing it along her lip, and she opened her mouth slightly, allowing him entrance. He plunged his tongue into Blair’s mouth and she slid hers into his mouth.
The kiss turned hot and wild, but Blair broke it off before it got too far. “I’m scared.” She whispered.
“Of me?”
“No,” she shook her head. “Of this. What if I’m no good at it, like Nate always told me when we made love?” The self-confidence that she had been feeling started to assuage as the reality of what they were about to do set in. She didn’t want to disappoint Chuck and she felt like she would.
“Blair, look at me,” he tilted her head until she was staring into his eyes. “You’re good at this and Nate was a fool not to see that. u have so much passion inside of u and it’s just been waiting to be unleashed, but it has to be with the right person. I am that person. You’re going to be amazing.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that after so long of Nate constantly telling me how stiff and prim I was and it kind of messes with your psyche. I don’t know if I’m going to be any good,” she stressed. “Show me, Chuck.”
He led her to the bed and she laid down and he gently pushed back a couple of tresses of her hair. “You’re going to be good not because of me of what I teach you, but because it’s in you. u are a passionate person, Blair Waldorf.” She looked at him with admiration and he muttered with a crooked half- smile, “I think I’ve gone soft enough now.”
She grabbed his neck and plastered her lips all over his. Within minutes, her clothes were off and so were his and he moved underneath the blankets of her bedding. While her tongue was dueling with his, he moved his hand in between her legs and dipped his fingers in between her wet folds. “You are so fucking wet, Blair, and that turns me on like nothing else ever could.” His voice had taken on a needy and lustful quality.
“Chuck,” she groaned on a sigh as his mouth moved to her neck and her hand moved to his erection. She grasped it and moved her hand up and down the long hard length of it. His moan reverberated in his chest and Blair knew that he was right. She could please him and it was just because she wasn’t into Nate that they had never had a productive of satisfying sex life. It would be different with Chuck.
He moved his mouth from her neck and moved down to her breast and while he sucked the nipple in his mouth and she grasped the bed sheets from the pleasure of it, his other hand moved to his erection and he dipped it into the wetness that was seeping from and now glistened on his cock.
They both panted at the sensations and he asked, “Are u sure?”
Blair just gave him a look and he knew what she wanted him to do. He pushed his hips against hers and he was buried within her snug heat. He bent to kiss her again and just as he was about to start moving, a voice rang out there was neither hers nor his.
“What the fuck is this?”
They both turned to the doorway and Blair’s hart-, hart stopped. It was Nate.
TBC
A/N: I’m finally updating something! Yay! This fic will be winding pretty soon, maybe in another two chapters and I must thank u for sticking through me with it. And this chapter is dedicated to one of my best friends, Nikki. u are always there for me and u have told me how much u love this, so here it is. I love you. And writing Serena’s pregnancy was very interesting for me this chapter, since I just recently discovered that I was pregnant. LOL! Oh, and don’t forget to review.
“Carter Baizen.”
She felt her mouth go dry and found that no words could even express her shock and surprise. First Dan, then Nate, and now Carter. “Are u sure it’s his?” Blair whispered.
Serena took it as a sign that Blair hadn’t bolted yet that she was going to help her out with this. “I’m sure,” she confirmed. “Dan and I haven’t slept together in months because of some problems, with Nate it was only that one time and we used protection, but with Carter it’s been meer than once and we haven’t used anything.” She tilted her chin to toon that she wasn’t ashamed of what she just revealed.
“I thought that u were in love with Dan of are u in love with Nate, and what are u going to do about Carter?”
Serena touched her stomach lightly, but u couldn’t tell that she was pregnant. She had time to figure things out. “I haven’t been in love with Dan for months,” she started, but the Blair interrupted her.
“What about Nate?” she asked quickly while she straightened out her headband.
“I’ve never been in love with him, B,” Blair looked at her harshly, and she admitted, “I’m attracted to him, but it’s never been meer than that. I don’t blame u for being doubtful, but I promise u that Nate is nothing meer to me than a good friend.”
“Your promises don’t mean anything to me, Serena.” She whispered savagely.
Serena’s half-smile faded. “Well, I just wanted to ease your mind and let u know that u have nothing to worry about with me anymore. Nate is all yours.”
Blair suddenly felt guilty about judging Serena so much because really she had done almost the same thing. She had cheated on her boyfriend with Chuck and she couldn’t make herself feel sorry for doing that because she had loved it and it had gegeven her too much pleasure. She sighed, “I know, S. We have to forgive each other sometime, but I just don’t know if I can trust u after everything that has happened.”
Serena crushed her and threw her arms around her in a wild hug. “I’m going to prove that u can trust me again, B.”
“And how are u going to do that?” she asked, once she had gotten her breath back and Serena finally let go of her.
“By telling u something that I’ve never told anyone. I just admitted it to myself a few days geleden and I’m trusting u because if u wanted, u could go to Gossip Girl with this and basically crush me with this information.”
“What?” she asked, but she was still doubtful about what Serena was saying.
“I’m in love with, Carter.” Serena admitted with a dazed and loving look on her face.
“What?!”
She laughed. “Yes, it’s true. I love him.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying, Serena. You’re not making any sense.”
The dreamy look did not leave her face. “I know it seems crazy, but I’ve known him for almost my entire life and a couple of weeks geleden we just kind of reconnected. He’s not as bad as everyone makes him out to be. He’s gorgeous, intelligent, a bit of a bad boy, and mysterious. All of that intrigues me and plus, he’s got the goods in bed.” She zei with a naughty smile.
“Serena! You’re going to make my ears bleed. And this is Carter Baizen we’re talking about. Have u gone insane? He’s vermin.”
“He’s not, Blair. I know he acts like that most of the time, but with me he’s completely different. I’ve always zei that it takes the right woman to change a man for the better, although I wouldn’t want to change him too much.”
Blair noticed the sudden frown that popped up on Serena’s face. “What’s wrong now? Have u told him that you’re pregnant?”
“No,” she shook her head and her blond hair whipped all over the place. “I’m pretty sure that I’m in love with him, but I know that he doesn’t feel the same way. Carter is a love em and leave em type of person, not all that unlike Chuck.” Blair blanched at the sudden mention of Chuck and Serena apologized. “Sorry, B. I know u hate Chuck, but they are very alike.”
The guilt started to come in waves since Serena was being so honest about her own feelings, while she was still hiding what she felt for Chuck. She couldn’t think of him though because his recent betrayal sent pain racing through her. “What are u going to do, S?” She hadn’t even realized that she had wrapped an arm around Serena’s shoulders.
“I don’t know,” she looked worriedly down at her stomach. “I’m sure that Carter doesn’t want to be a father at eighteen, but it’s going to happen now. I’m going to have to tell him, right?”
“Yes, u will. He has to know.”
“I know that, but I need meer time to evaluate my feelings for him before I do anything rash.”
Blair nodded once. “Thank u for telling me.”
“I wanted to let u know that I trust you, Blair, and you’re like my sister. I wouldn’t tell anyone other than u first. We have to forget the past and start over again.” Blair felt tears spring to her eyes and she leaned over and shared another hug with Serena. Both of the girls wiped away their tears and laughed before Serena asked, “So how are things with u and Nate?”
“I broke up with Nate a couple of weeks ago.” Blair watched as the blonde’s face took on a look of amazement. “Why?” Serena finally managed.
“For a lot of reasons, but he’s always been so hung up on u and I don’t want to do that anymore with him. I don’t think I could ever trust him again and I don’t really want to. I’m not in love with him and I think it’s for the best.”
Serena looked sympathetic to the situation. “Are u okay with it of are u upset?”
“I was a little upset at first, but not anymore,” before she had a chance to think about it Blair blurted out, “I think that I’m in love with somebody else.”
“Who?! Is that why u were having problems with Nate? Is it someone that we know?”
A chuckle escaped her at Serena’s barrage of questioning and she wanted to tell her, but she didn’t know if she could actually trust her. Serena had hurt her so many times before. She knew how insecure she was about certain things and especially after the disaster of Serena sleeping with Nate, yet again. If she told her, would she run to go text Gossip Girl? If she did that, she would never live it down. But finally the choice wasn’t left up to her because she found her lips moving and uttering the word, “Chuck.”
Serena squinted and appeared confused. “Chuck who?”
“Are u going to make me spell it out, S? The Chuck we all know and have for years! Chuck Bass.”
Serena actually gasped. “You have to be joking! u hate Chuck as much as he hates you. Is this your idea of some ridiculous joke, Blair?”
No,” she shook her head, “this is not a joke. I’m completely serious. I’ve been denying it for a while, but I’m in love with Chuck. And it’s painful to think about now because he betrayed me in the worst way.”
“You’re losing me, B. I can’t even begin to inpakken, wrap my mind around the fact that you’re in love with Chuck, so start at the beginning. How did this happen and does he feel the same way about you?”
“Alright. I’ve always hated Chuck. Ever since I can remember. He’s everything that I hate. He’s vile, has no regard for anyone besides himself, and he does horrible things, but that’s in the past now. A couple of months ago, Nate, did something to me that I thought was horrible and I wanted revenge on him, so I figured the best way to go about something like that would be to sleep with his best friend.” When she saw that Serena was about to interrupt, she stalled her. “It doesn’t matter that I hated him, all I was thinking about was how much I wanted to hurt Nate and the best way to go about that was through Chuck. So, I went and after some arguing, Chuck and I almost slept together. We were interrupted in the nick of time, but ever since that night it’s been different.”
“How so?” Serena asked, while being entranced door what Blair was describing.
She gave a little sigh of contentment. “It’s kind of hard to explain, but since that night when we put our differences aside for a few minuten and just started to talk, and it’s been a 180. I looked vooruit, voorwaarts to seeing him, I wanted to hear what he had to say, I wanted to spend time with Chuck, and then I realized that I had misjudged him all those years. But then I thought maybe I didn’t hate him, but instead I was holding onto the hate, so that I didn’t get hurt. Maybe I’ve liked Chuck all along, but was hiding behind a mask.”
“You really do love him, don’t u Blair?”
“I do,” she admitted as she took Serena’s hand. “I love him so much that it’s painful. I think about him dag and night, and what he’s doing at that exact moment. And even when I don’t want to, he pops into my mind somehow. I want him to know how I feel, but I know that I can never tell him without getting my hart-, hart broken.”
“I’ve never felt like that about anyone, B.”
“Then maybe you’ve never actually be in love, Serena. Because this is how it feels. There is pain and tribulations, but there is also happiness and feeling elated when u see that person that u do love.”
“Maybe it’s not the kind of love that u feel,” Serena admitted, “but to me it feels like love, but maybe it’s just a deep attraction. I can’t even tell.”
“That’s not love, S,” Blair replied sadly. “More like an infatuation.”
Serena shrugged and she took that to mean that the conversation was over. “Does Nate know?”
“No. And I’m not going to tell him because nothing is ever going to happen again between Chuck and I. He doesn’t feel the same way about me and while that hurts terribly, I’m not going to put myself out there again only to get hurt.”
“That’s what love is though, Blair. Sometimes u have to put yourself out there and u can get the greatest thing in return. Maybe u should give it a chance and I can’t believe that I’m even saying that because I don’t like him, but if he makes u happy, I’m happy for you, B.”
“I can’t.” Blair zei and she was mortified to feel tears pricking her eyes. She blinked hastily and willed the tears to go away. “I went to him a few weeks ago, right after I broke up with Nate and he betrayed me in the worst way. He was going to sleep with a prostitute and if he was going to do that, then I can never trust him again.”
“Are u sure?”
“Yes.” She decided to switch tactics and asked, “How far are u along, S? I can’t believe that you’re going to be a mother already. I always thought that I would have the perfect family and children to go with that before u ever would.” She added a little bitterly.
“I took a pregnancy test a couple of days ago, so I’m guessing around five weeks, but I have to go to the doctor, so that he can bevestig it.”
“Pregnancy tests can be wrong sometimes, Serena. Maybe you’re not pregnant, but u should really go to the doctor, so u can find out.”
“I took five different tests and they all zei the same thing,” she clarified.
“You’re really pregnant.”
XOXO
Blair walked through the school courtyard, trying to hurry into school so that the prying eyes would leave her alone. She hated the attention that her breakup with Nate had created. They had been broken up for weeks now, but it was so still fresh in everyone else’s minds. She brushed her plaid rok down her legs, and felt the burning of several eyes into the back of her skull. When she had almost reached the door, someone grabbed her and turned her around to face them. Great. Nate. This was all she needed now.
She met his gaze, but her eyes fell to something beyond Nate. Chuck. He was several yards away, but she looked at him over Nate’s shoulder. Chuck’s eyes didn’t waver from her face and neither did hers from his, but she noticed that his gaze seemed haunted almost, like he was miserable. They hadn’t talked since she had stormed out of his suite after the incident with the whore. He had tried several times to get her to talk to him, but she would not be swayed. Not because she didn’t want to be, but because she knew that he would only end up hurting her yet again and she had to protect herself from that.
The butterflies came back and she willed herself to look away before she did something stupid. Something like racing through the courtyard and planting her lips on him in a feverous caress. A small smirk was planted across his face, but she promptly returned her attention to Nate.
“I need to talk to you, Blair.”
“About?” she asked stiffly.
“About this ridiculous breakup of ours. We can work through our problems, u know that.”
“No. We can’t, Nate. We’ve been through this many times before and I don’t wish to discuss it anymore.” She turned to leave, but he latched onto her arm again and appeared angry. Blair looked at him as though he were a pesky fly that needed swatting and her gaze immediately wandered back to Chuck. His eyes were dark with fury, as he saw Nate’s hand wrapped tightly around her slim wrist. She saw his feet shuffle a couple of steps vooruit, voorwaarts and she shook her head furiously to signal that he shouldn’t come over and help her out. That was all she needed right now, for Gossip Girl to use something else against her. Chuck didn’t look like he was going to listen to her, but she finally looked away from him.
“What are u doing, Blair?” Nate finally asked, regarding her shaking her head and not paying attention to him.
“Nothing,” she snapped. “Let go of me.”
He finally seemed to notice that her wrist was turning white from the pressure of his hand and instantly let go of her. He tried to rub the spot, but she threw his hand off.
“Blair, please reconsider us.” He tried to appeal to her better senses, but she didn’t look like she was listening.
“I told u before that I was done and I meant it. We’ve been over for a long time, Nate, and I’ve accepted that, now u should do the same. You’ll be better off in the long run.”
“I can’t. I still love you,” he insisted. What is it going to take for u to give me another shot?”
Blair peered into his face and wondered what she had ever seen in him. He had boyish good looks and was incredible to look at, but other than that he didn’t have much going for him. He was dull and boring, and he had never seemed to care for her needs of what would make her happy. So what her made her stay with him for so long? What had she tortured herself? The answer was simple. It was better to be stuck with Nate, rather than have no one. But now someone else appealed to her. She still felt his dark gaze on her across the courtyard and it continued to boil her blood. His dark looks and lustful gazes did much meer for her then Nate had ever. His body was rather imperfect and it wasn’t sculpted like Nate’s, but to her Chuck’s was perfect. Nothing appealed to her more. She wanted him in the worst way, but she had to listen to the advice that she had just gegeven Nate and force herself to let go of Chuck and the love that she felt for him, it was the only way that she would ever survive. It was for her own good and she just had to keep reminding herself of that.
“You don’t love me, Nate.” Blair stated the truth plainly, but with no malice of ill will intended. She just knew it to be a fact.
“How do u know that?” he asked, rather irked. “I zei that I want you, so what makes u think that?”
“I’m not what u want. u afraid to let go of our relationship because u don’t want to go out there and be alone without knowing what’s going to happen, but what we have isn’t worth saving anymore, Nate. It’s time to let go. u know that as well as I do.”
“That’s not it. I just don’t want us to throw away something when I know we can make it work again, Blair.”
“We’ve tried so many times!” she zei as she slapped her hand against her thigh to toon her agitation at the course of the conversation. “I’m tired of trying and I don’t want to do it anymore and I know that it wouldn’t work out again, so I’m not going to put in the effort. I will not be made a fool of door u yet again.”
“You’re just going to give up then? Sometimes things get rough, but u have to fight for them.”
“Okay,” she acknowledged. “Let me ask u one vraag and I want u to answer it honestly, even if it’s not something that I want to hear, alright?”
“Yes.” Nate automatically agreed.
“Are u in love with Serena?”
Nate swallowed hard. “Yes,” he answered after a moment’s hesitation.
She tilted her head vooruit, voorwaarts to toon that she had heard him. “And u still want to pretend like there is something between?” Blair asked on a growl. “You just admitted that u were in love with Serena! To my face!”
“You asked me and I answered u honestly. I thought that was what u wanted.”
He just didn’t get it. It surprised her sometimes how dense and stupid Nate could be. How could he not understand that it would upset her if he zei that he was in love with her best friend? “If you’re in love with Serena, why do u want me?”
“Because I can’t have Serena and I want to make us work.”
The nerve of him! This was only because he couldn’t have the true person that he wanted. She slapped him across the face. Hard. Everyone stared at her, most of all Chuck, but she didn’t care. She was too involved in what she was about to say next. “So I’m seconde best?” she screeched at the top, boven of her lungs.
Nate sighed tiredly and looked around the courtyard. “Lower your voice and that’s now what I meant.”
“Yes, it is. That’s exactly what u meant, but you’re never going to have Serena, u know that right?”
“What do u mean?” he asked on a worried frown.
Blair marveled over the fact that he seemed to have no regard for her feelings whatsoever. “You’re never going to have, Serena, u asshole!” she hissed. She’s pregnant and you’re not the father.”
She delighted in the way that he bit his lower lip and the hurt that radiated in his eyes at her revelation. He had hurt her so much over the years and it was time that he felt a little bit of the pain. “We’re done for good!”
Blair stormed away from him, only to leave him in the wake of the curious looks and the whispers. Nate turned to go after Blair, but Chuck caught up to him and zei one word rather harshly. “Don’t.” He then went inside and left Nate door himself. The news of their fight was already on Gossip Girl.
XOXO
Blair had just flopped down on her bed after the long and tiring dag that she had and was going through her text messages when she heard Dorota’s clipped English say, “You have a visitor, Miss Blair.”
“Alright.” Figuring that it was Serena because who else would it be, she opened the door. Only to find herself face to face with Chuck.
She took in his appearance as his eyes greedily raked over her features, seeing as they hadn’t been in the same room for at least a month. She found herself reaching for him, but she stopped herself at the last second. He had hurt her. She wouldn’t allow him in it again. “Dorota!” she screeched and Chuck took a step back.
The Polish maid’s head peeked out for the corner and she looked a bit terrified at Blair’s tone of voice. “Yes, Miss Blair?”
“What have I told u about letting this certain visitor in?” she sneered. “I thought we had an agreement that Mr. bas, bass is never supposed to be let in under any circumstances.”
“He was very adamant.” Dorota answered.
“Fine.” Blair waved a hand and dismissed her. She didn’t think that she had ever seen her run down the stairs so fast.
Chuck was about to go into her room, but she barred his entrance. “You have to leave. I told u before that I never wanted to see u again and obviously u didn’t understand me, but you’re not welcomed here, Chuck.”
He moved her arm from the door and proceeded into the bedroom. She didn’t stop him, she was too shaken up from the tingles that started racing down her arm when he had touched her and how her pulse had sped up.
“You never let me explain what happened that night, Blair. It wasn’t what u thought.” He zei simply as he sat down on her bed.
“What was there to explain? I think it was pretty self explanatory.” Her voice rose in fury and she placed her hands on her hips, which only pulled the length of her rok higher on her thighs and gave way to how it conformed to her shape.
“You’re so sexy when you’re angry, B.” His voice was silky and husky and she could see the desire in his eyes.
She slapped his hand away from her where it had been reaching to touch her. “Don’t come on to me, u Basshole!”
“Are u going to let me explain then, Blair?” he asked very tiredly. “I know what it looked like, but that wasn’t the case. I promise you.”
“Your promises mean don’t mean anything to me. You’ve proved time and time again that I can’t trust you, Chuck. What’s different about this time?”
“Everything can be different.” Blair was surprised door the conviction in his eyes. “I’ve been so miserable without you, Blair.”
“No, u don’t get to do that. u don’t get to act like that victim with what u did. I broke up with Nate for you, Bass!” she felt the tears begin to form in her eyes and she did everything that she could to hold them back because she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making her cry. “I wanted u and I gave u the benefit of the doubt, but u betrayed me door thinking that u could have whores and prostitutes on the side!” The tears began to fall down her face. She couldn’t stop them.
He zei nothing for a minute, but he finally roared, “I only asked her to come over to my suite because I wanted to toon u how much I wanted you. I was going to in front of your face tell her that I wouldn’t be needing whores anymore. I don’t need her services anymore of anybody else’s!”
His words finally began to penetrate her brain, but she still asked, “What are u talking about?”
“I wanted to toon u that I was serious about you, Blair. I figured that if I brought some random whore to my suite and made a big deal about how I didn’t need that because I didn’t want that kind of performance from people like her anymore, that u might finally realize how much I want you. It’s not just a game for me.”
She swallowed hard and meer tears fell from her eyes.
He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and gave her a light shake. “That was for your benefit, Blair. I knew that if I told u that I wanted to be with u that u would never believe it, so I wanted to prove it to you. Are u going to believe me of not?”
“I want to,” she whispered. “But how do I know that you’re telling the truth? How do I know that this isn’t just another one of your elaborate schemes? How am I supposed to know what to believe?”
“You trust me,” she stared down at the floor as he zei this and Chuck withdrew something from the pocket of his suit jacket. “Or u can watch this. I recorded the whole thing. I had a feeling something like this would happen, so I set up a camera and everything is on here, Blair.” He zei as he waved the tiny tape in front of her face.
With a fumbling hand she reached out for the tape and he dropped it lightly into her hand. She let it fall to the floor and stomped on it with the stiletto of her heel. “I believe you. I don’t need any evidence because I do trust you.” Blair remarked as she looked into his eyes. She had to believe him and she found that she did. She could always tell when he was lying and this wasn’t one of those times when he was.
Chuck stepped vooruit, voorwaarts and looked at the shattered tape that littered the floor. He smiled as he touched her cheek. “I want u and only you, Blair. There is no one else that I would rather be with.”
She knew that was the only declaration that she was going to get from him. She didn’t know if he loved her, but it didn’t matter in the moment. What he had just zei was enough. She grabbed his hand and said, “I feel the same way. You’re it for me, Bass.”
He rested his forehead against hers and his hands traveled down to her waist. He finally dipped his head and gently laid his lips against hers. He began to verplaats his mouth over hers and it was everything that it should have been.
He darted his tongue out, trailing it along her lip, and she opened her mouth slightly, allowing him entrance. He plunged his tongue into Blair’s mouth and she slid hers into his mouth.
The kiss turned hot and wild, but Blair broke it off before it got too far. “I’m scared.” She whispered.
“Of me?”
“No,” she shook her head. “Of this. What if I’m no good at it, like Nate always told me when we made love?” The self-confidence that she had been feeling started to assuage as the reality of what they were about to do set in. She didn’t want to disappoint Chuck and she felt like she would.
“Blair, look at me,” he tilted her head until she was staring into his eyes. “You’re good at this and Nate was a fool not to see that. u have so much passion inside of u and it’s just been waiting to be unleashed, but it has to be with the right person. I am that person. You’re going to be amazing.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that after so long of Nate constantly telling me how stiff and prim I was and it kind of messes with your psyche. I don’t know if I’m going to be any good,” she stressed. “Show me, Chuck.”
He led her to the bed and she laid down and he gently pushed back a couple of tresses of her hair. “You’re going to be good not because of me of what I teach you, but because it’s in you. u are a passionate person, Blair Waldorf.” She looked at him with admiration and he muttered with a crooked half- smile, “I think I’ve gone soft enough now.”
She grabbed his neck and plastered her lips all over his. Within minutes, her clothes were off and so were his and he moved underneath the blankets of her bedding. While her tongue was dueling with his, he moved his hand in between her legs and dipped his fingers in between her wet folds. “You are so fucking wet, Blair, and that turns me on like nothing else ever could.” His voice had taken on a needy and lustful quality.
“Chuck,” she groaned on a sigh as his mouth moved to her neck and her hand moved to his erection. She grasped it and moved her hand up and down the long hard length of it. His moan reverberated in his chest and Blair knew that he was right. She could please him and it was just because she wasn’t into Nate that they had never had a productive of satisfying sex life. It would be different with Chuck.
He moved his mouth from her neck and moved down to her breast and while he sucked the nipple in his mouth and she grasped the bed sheets from the pleasure of it, his other hand moved to his erection and he dipped it into the wetness that was seeping from and now glistened on his cock.
They both panted at the sensations and he asked, “Are u sure?”
Blair just gave him a look and he knew what she wanted him to do. He pushed his hips against hers and he was buried within her snug heat. He bent to kiss her again and just as he was about to start moving, a voice rang out there was neither hers nor his.
“What the fuck is this?”
They both turned to the doorway and Blair’s hart-, hart stopped. It was Nate.
TBC
A/N: I’m finally updating something! Yay! This fic will be winding pretty soon, maybe in another two chapters and I must thank u for sticking through me with it. And this chapter is dedicated to one of my best friends, Nikki. u are always there for me and u have told me how much u love this, so here it is. I love you. And writing Serena’s pregnancy was very interesting for me this chapter, since I just recently discovered that I was pregnant. LOL! Oh, and don’t forget to review.
