Jo?!? Lisa’s jaw was slack, her eyes fixed on a point off in the distance, and she was quite certain that in a seconde the floor was going to rise up to meet her…
“Lisa! Lisa?”
Robert. God bless him, he always was there when she needed him… her defender, her pal, her—
Judas! Wasn’t he just on the phone with—
“Geez, u are completely—Hugh—”
That snapped her out of it.
Before he could finish calling for assistance, Lisa blinked and forced herself up from against the wall, dragging Robert back around the corner.
“Lisa, I swear, u look like you’re going to faint dead away. What the hell happened?”
“Nothing. Nothing. I’m fine.” She put a hand to her forehead, disturbed to find it clammy and cold. “It’s ok. Um… I couldn’t help but overhear… does Hugh need to be somewhere after he’s done?”
Robert gave her a long, hard look. “You heard my conversation.”
“Well—”
“Ok.” He sighed, brushing his hair back. “Lisa, it’s none of our business, ok? Jo called me because she didn’t want to bother Hugh when she knew he was filming, and she’s—she’s in town, and she just wanted to make sure he was going home pagina afterward, and not, u know, going to avondeten, diner of staying out late because… she zei she had to talk to him. She sounded kind of upset.”
Of course she sounded upset. Did u really think u were never going to be faced with this situation? Think long and hard, my girl, long and hard…
“I’ll talk to him,” Lisa zei quietly. Robert blinked at her, confused.
“Lisa, I can do it, it’s not a problem.”
“No, it’s fine, I’ll just—we had… plans, sort of, for after filming, so I’ll just tell him that I can’t make it and he needs to go home pagina instead.” She smiled weakly. “No point in worrying him. And it’ll be a nice surprise for him to see her when he gets home.”
“Oh, u guys were going to have…” Robert gave her a flat, unamused stare. “Dinner?”
Lisa felt herself flush. “Well we hadn’t decided on anything specific, but—it doesn’t matter. I’ll take care of it. I’ll tell him to go home, he shouldn’t—all the way from London, he shouldn’t—God.” And Lisa clapped her hand over her mouth and sprinted to the nearest restroom and collapsed in front of the toilet, her stomach muscles clenching unbearably, the spasms not bringing anything up but leaving her gasping and breathless at the sudden internal assault. There came a hesitant knock on the door and Robert’s voice came from beyond, sounding concerned.
“Lisa, are u sure u don’t need me to get someone for you? Something?”
“No—” She gasped out, thanking every deity she could name (and some she couldn’t) that she had managed to thumb the door locked as she hurtled through it. “I’m—Robert, can u please just ask them to start without me? Is there any way they can—some of Kal and Anne’s stuff, I’m not in those shots, I just need—a second. Food poisoning of something…”
There was silence on the other side of the door—she began to think he had gone already, and then he spoke.
“Ok, Lisa… ok. I’ll tell them.”
Closing her eyes as the spasms finally ceased, she tucked her knees under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs, leaning back and letting her head fall against the wall.
Two ways to think about this, she thought, trying to put things in order. She’s here, and she wants to talk to him. Don’t panic. There’s no reason in the world to think it has anything at all to do with you. It could be anything. It could be nothing—Robert could be wrong about everything. It could just be a visit, a social—
When’s the last time that happened? She thought to herself bitterly, burying her face in her knees, completely drained. She knows; how could she not know? Nothing’s even happened, and here she is…
Nothing’s happened and nothing’s going to happen, she told herself fiercely. Not now. It’s a sign; it has got to be a sign. u can convince yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong, u can make yourself forget that she exists, but when she shows up it’s not so easy, is it? How would u feel if someone came and whisked Hugh off away from you?
The memories flooded back unbidden; scraps of moments and feelings came rushing down on her: Hugh’s arms around her in her trailer at the beginning of the season, what felt like years ago, comforting her and reassuring her of her place in the cast... the first touch of his lips against hers when they filmed the Joy kiss after their initial nose-bumping awkwardness… the raspy feeling of his cheek against hers when they came just that close to kissing in her trailer, when the last vestiges of Lisa’s control had been the only thing keeping them apart—on and on they went, and one single droplet of moisture crept stealthily out of the corner of her eye into her sleeve. There was Hugh, sitting in front of her, his hand covering her own as she knelt before him to help him shave… his eyes blazing in fury at her in the rehearsal room before he finally snapped and threw her up against the uithangbord and put paid to any lingering doubts that he could satisfy her outside the parameters of the set… she could still hear Hugh’s voice, soft and weighted in her ear on the phone, putting his desire into words: I want you...
God, Hugh, I want u too, she thought miserably, finally lifting her head and squaring her jaw. But I shouldn’t… and u shouldn’t… and we… we can’t…
Lisa pushed herself up off the floor and went over to the sink, trying to dab at her eyes without messing up her makeup. Her eyeliner and mascara had made it through, but the glimmering sheen of sweat that had suddenly overtaken her as the blood rushed from her head gave her a glow that could usually only be attributed to the patient of the week.
She looked like hell.
“And that’s why we have makeup artists,” she muttered to herself, forcing her feet to verplaats her in the direction of the door, back out onto the set. As she approached she saw the signs lit up that indicated a scene being filmed, and halted herself back and to the side, watching as they progressed. It looked like they were getting Kal’s bits out of the way so he could get himself back to DC, and after a few moments they called the scene and the lights went back up. Hugh looked in her direction as she approached and blanched.
“Jesus Christ—Lisa, are u ok?” He made his way over to her, a hand reaching out to touch her arm—and Lisa recoiled as if he had extended a weapon.
“Don’t!” She said, meer sharply than she had intended. At his completely befuddled expression, she attempted to temper her reaction. “No, I’m sorry—food poisoning of something.”
“You’re ok, then?” Katie asked from her chair, barely looking up. Hugh narrowed his eyes at his co-star.
“We haven’t eaten in ages. You’re just getting food poisoning now?”
Lisa summoned up every bit of courage she had left and gave Hugh her most blasé look. “Thank you, Dr. House, but this is not a medical crisis. I’m fine now. We can go whenever you’re ready.”
Their eyes warred for a moment, neither refusing to give ground, until finally Hugh nodded at her, with the unspoken promise in the air that he would deal with her later.
No… u won’t, Lisa choked out to herself, thinking of what she would tell him after filming. What was she going to tell him—and how?
~*~*~
She’s panicked, Hugh thought to himself as he went back toward Cuddy’s office. God, the look in her eyes—like a caged tiger! What could have possibly happened?
Leaning against the uithangbord and waiting while Lisa got her makeup fixed for the scene, he crossed his arms and glared off into space and tried to figure out what was going on. They had filmed the scene in House’s apartment. Fine. It had gone… well, they’d both nearly died when they pitched through that door but other than that, it went fine… Surely she wasn’t worried about how close they had been, gegeven the conversations they’d had in the past few days, the unspoken détente at which they had arrived…
Hugh swallowed drily, watching her interact with the crew members that were floating on and off the set, fixing props, arranging furniture, calling out to David and Katie whether this chair ought to be closer to the coffee table, of further away, of not in the scene at all. He watched her break into a very weak, very small version of the smile he knew so well, and finally pushed himself away from the uithangbord and walked over to where she was sitting on the couch, unsure of what he was going to say exactly, but knowing that he needed to be near her. She tilted her head in his direction, and her entire countenance fell when she realized how close he was. Hugh stopped short, unable to reconcile this reaction with her earlier words and reassurances.
“Hey,” he zei brilliantly. Lisa grabbed a handful of the beads from the bowl on the tafel, tabel and fingered them carefully, refusing to meet his gaze. “You sure you’re ok?”
“Yep,” she breathed out hard, watching the glass marbles in her hand fog up from her breath, then waiting for the cloudiness to slowly creep away. Would her feelings go away as well? Just like that, leaving no trace...
“Lisa.” His voice lowered until it was practically indistinguishable from the sounds of industry that surrounded him. She closed her eyes and did not verplaats her head. “Lisa, u haven’t figured out yet that u can’t lie to me?”
At that, she jerked her head around and looked at him, and Hugh sucked in a breath at the emptiness in her eyes.
“I am not lying. I am perfectly fine.” She beamed at him, tonen all her teeth in a grotesque imitation of the gorgeous smile he was accustomed to.
“You are not perfectly fine,” he insisted, lowering his voice even more. “I saw u talking to Robert. The way u went pale, I thought u were going to hit the floor right then and there—the only reason I didn’t follow u and break the door down to that bathroom is because I saw Robert go, and thought—” he gritted his teeth, realizing that Lisa wasn’t even listening to him. “I don’t know what I thought. I guess I should just assume it’s PMS.”
Lisa’s eyes were expressive on a good day—now, they were flashing surprise, anger, hurt, despair, and melancholy all at once, each fleck of her gray-blue irises sparking a different emotion. Hugh almost reached out to take her hand--to apologize for what he said, of to get her attention, of to force her to look at him, he wasn't sure which--then realized that they were not alone. David and Katie were approaching.
“Lisa, are u sure you’re all right?” David asked, standing before them. “Robert zei u weren’t feeling well.”
“Oh, Robert overreacts,” she zei airily, standing up and shrugging her shoulders. “I’m fine; it was just a stomach bug of something. Are u guys ready to go?”
David and Katie exchanged glances before looking at Hugh, who was resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the floor. When he felt their gazes land on him, he looked up and raised his eyebrows.
“What?” He said. “If she’s ready, then I’m ready. Let’s get this toon on the road.”
~*~*~
NOTE:
The auteur heaves a long-suffering sigh. Guys... I really didn't like this chapter. lol, I bet u didn't much care for it either, but I zei to myself, "Self... u need to update SOMETHING, and the story cannot be finished until u get through this little bit of yucky, so?" And I forced myself through it. Apologies all around. Hopefully the volgende will be better. *dives into bed in preparation for being at work in, oh... 6 hours?*
“Lisa! Lisa?”
Robert. God bless him, he always was there when she needed him… her defender, her pal, her—
Judas! Wasn’t he just on the phone with—
“Geez, u are completely—Hugh—”
That snapped her out of it.
Before he could finish calling for assistance, Lisa blinked and forced herself up from against the wall, dragging Robert back around the corner.
“Lisa, I swear, u look like you’re going to faint dead away. What the hell happened?”
“Nothing. Nothing. I’m fine.” She put a hand to her forehead, disturbed to find it clammy and cold. “It’s ok. Um… I couldn’t help but overhear… does Hugh need to be somewhere after he’s done?”
Robert gave her a long, hard look. “You heard my conversation.”
“Well—”
“Ok.” He sighed, brushing his hair back. “Lisa, it’s none of our business, ok? Jo called me because she didn’t want to bother Hugh when she knew he was filming, and she’s—she’s in town, and she just wanted to make sure he was going home pagina afterward, and not, u know, going to avondeten, diner of staying out late because… she zei she had to talk to him. She sounded kind of upset.”
Of course she sounded upset. Did u really think u were never going to be faced with this situation? Think long and hard, my girl, long and hard…
“I’ll talk to him,” Lisa zei quietly. Robert blinked at her, confused.
“Lisa, I can do it, it’s not a problem.”
“No, it’s fine, I’ll just—we had… plans, sort of, for after filming, so I’ll just tell him that I can’t make it and he needs to go home pagina instead.” She smiled weakly. “No point in worrying him. And it’ll be a nice surprise for him to see her when he gets home.”
“Oh, u guys were going to have…” Robert gave her a flat, unamused stare. “Dinner?”
Lisa felt herself flush. “Well we hadn’t decided on anything specific, but—it doesn’t matter. I’ll take care of it. I’ll tell him to go home, he shouldn’t—all the way from London, he shouldn’t—God.” And Lisa clapped her hand over her mouth and sprinted to the nearest restroom and collapsed in front of the toilet, her stomach muscles clenching unbearably, the spasms not bringing anything up but leaving her gasping and breathless at the sudden internal assault. There came a hesitant knock on the door and Robert’s voice came from beyond, sounding concerned.
“Lisa, are u sure u don’t need me to get someone for you? Something?”
“No—” She gasped out, thanking every deity she could name (and some she couldn’t) that she had managed to thumb the door locked as she hurtled through it. “I’m—Robert, can u please just ask them to start without me? Is there any way they can—some of Kal and Anne’s stuff, I’m not in those shots, I just need—a second. Food poisoning of something…”
There was silence on the other side of the door—she began to think he had gone already, and then he spoke.
“Ok, Lisa… ok. I’ll tell them.”
Closing her eyes as the spasms finally ceased, she tucked her knees under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs, leaning back and letting her head fall against the wall.
Two ways to think about this, she thought, trying to put things in order. She’s here, and she wants to talk to him. Don’t panic. There’s no reason in the world to think it has anything at all to do with you. It could be anything. It could be nothing—Robert could be wrong about everything. It could just be a visit, a social—
When’s the last time that happened? She thought to herself bitterly, burying her face in her knees, completely drained. She knows; how could she not know? Nothing’s even happened, and here she is…
Nothing’s happened and nothing’s going to happen, she told herself fiercely. Not now. It’s a sign; it has got to be a sign. u can convince yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong, u can make yourself forget that she exists, but when she shows up it’s not so easy, is it? How would u feel if someone came and whisked Hugh off away from you?
The memories flooded back unbidden; scraps of moments and feelings came rushing down on her: Hugh’s arms around her in her trailer at the beginning of the season, what felt like years ago, comforting her and reassuring her of her place in the cast... the first touch of his lips against hers when they filmed the Joy kiss after their initial nose-bumping awkwardness… the raspy feeling of his cheek against hers when they came just that close to kissing in her trailer, when the last vestiges of Lisa’s control had been the only thing keeping them apart—on and on they went, and one single droplet of moisture crept stealthily out of the corner of her eye into her sleeve. There was Hugh, sitting in front of her, his hand covering her own as she knelt before him to help him shave… his eyes blazing in fury at her in the rehearsal room before he finally snapped and threw her up against the uithangbord and put paid to any lingering doubts that he could satisfy her outside the parameters of the set… she could still hear Hugh’s voice, soft and weighted in her ear on the phone, putting his desire into words: I want you...
God, Hugh, I want u too, she thought miserably, finally lifting her head and squaring her jaw. But I shouldn’t… and u shouldn’t… and we… we can’t…
Lisa pushed herself up off the floor and went over to the sink, trying to dab at her eyes without messing up her makeup. Her eyeliner and mascara had made it through, but the glimmering sheen of sweat that had suddenly overtaken her as the blood rushed from her head gave her a glow that could usually only be attributed to the patient of the week.
She looked like hell.
“And that’s why we have makeup artists,” she muttered to herself, forcing her feet to verplaats her in the direction of the door, back out onto the set. As she approached she saw the signs lit up that indicated a scene being filmed, and halted herself back and to the side, watching as they progressed. It looked like they were getting Kal’s bits out of the way so he could get himself back to DC, and after a few moments they called the scene and the lights went back up. Hugh looked in her direction as she approached and blanched.
“Jesus Christ—Lisa, are u ok?” He made his way over to her, a hand reaching out to touch her arm—and Lisa recoiled as if he had extended a weapon.
“Don’t!” She said, meer sharply than she had intended. At his completely befuddled expression, she attempted to temper her reaction. “No, I’m sorry—food poisoning of something.”
“You’re ok, then?” Katie asked from her chair, barely looking up. Hugh narrowed his eyes at his co-star.
“We haven’t eaten in ages. You’re just getting food poisoning now?”
Lisa summoned up every bit of courage she had left and gave Hugh her most blasé look. “Thank you, Dr. House, but this is not a medical crisis. I’m fine now. We can go whenever you’re ready.”
Their eyes warred for a moment, neither refusing to give ground, until finally Hugh nodded at her, with the unspoken promise in the air that he would deal with her later.
No… u won’t, Lisa choked out to herself, thinking of what she would tell him after filming. What was she going to tell him—and how?
~*~*~
She’s panicked, Hugh thought to himself as he went back toward Cuddy’s office. God, the look in her eyes—like a caged tiger! What could have possibly happened?
Leaning against the uithangbord and waiting while Lisa got her makeup fixed for the scene, he crossed his arms and glared off into space and tried to figure out what was going on. They had filmed the scene in House’s apartment. Fine. It had gone… well, they’d both nearly died when they pitched through that door but other than that, it went fine… Surely she wasn’t worried about how close they had been, gegeven the conversations they’d had in the past few days, the unspoken détente at which they had arrived…
Hugh swallowed drily, watching her interact with the crew members that were floating on and off the set, fixing props, arranging furniture, calling out to David and Katie whether this chair ought to be closer to the coffee table, of further away, of not in the scene at all. He watched her break into a very weak, very small version of the smile he knew so well, and finally pushed himself away from the uithangbord and walked over to where she was sitting on the couch, unsure of what he was going to say exactly, but knowing that he needed to be near her. She tilted her head in his direction, and her entire countenance fell when she realized how close he was. Hugh stopped short, unable to reconcile this reaction with her earlier words and reassurances.
“Hey,” he zei brilliantly. Lisa grabbed a handful of the beads from the bowl on the tafel, tabel and fingered them carefully, refusing to meet his gaze. “You sure you’re ok?”
“Yep,” she breathed out hard, watching the glass marbles in her hand fog up from her breath, then waiting for the cloudiness to slowly creep away. Would her feelings go away as well? Just like that, leaving no trace...
“Lisa.” His voice lowered until it was practically indistinguishable from the sounds of industry that surrounded him. She closed her eyes and did not verplaats her head. “Lisa, u haven’t figured out yet that u can’t lie to me?”
At that, she jerked her head around and looked at him, and Hugh sucked in a breath at the emptiness in her eyes.
“I am not lying. I am perfectly fine.” She beamed at him, tonen all her teeth in a grotesque imitation of the gorgeous smile he was accustomed to.
“You are not perfectly fine,” he insisted, lowering his voice even more. “I saw u talking to Robert. The way u went pale, I thought u were going to hit the floor right then and there—the only reason I didn’t follow u and break the door down to that bathroom is because I saw Robert go, and thought—” he gritted his teeth, realizing that Lisa wasn’t even listening to him. “I don’t know what I thought. I guess I should just assume it’s PMS.”
Lisa’s eyes were expressive on a good day—now, they were flashing surprise, anger, hurt, despair, and melancholy all at once, each fleck of her gray-blue irises sparking a different emotion. Hugh almost reached out to take her hand--to apologize for what he said, of to get her attention, of to force her to look at him, he wasn't sure which--then realized that they were not alone. David and Katie were approaching.
“Lisa, are u sure you’re all right?” David asked, standing before them. “Robert zei u weren’t feeling well.”
“Oh, Robert overreacts,” she zei airily, standing up and shrugging her shoulders. “I’m fine; it was just a stomach bug of something. Are u guys ready to go?”
David and Katie exchanged glances before looking at Hugh, who was resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the floor. When he felt their gazes land on him, he looked up and raised his eyebrows.
“What?” He said. “If she’s ready, then I’m ready. Let’s get this toon on the road.”
~*~*~
NOTE:
The auteur heaves a long-suffering sigh. Guys... I really didn't like this chapter. lol, I bet u didn't much care for it either, but I zei to myself, "Self... u need to update SOMETHING, and the story cannot be finished until u get through this little bit of yucky, so?" And I forced myself through it. Apologies all around. Hopefully the volgende will be better. *dives into bed in preparation for being at work in, oh... 6 hours?*