Nathan: (wanking in his coffin) Ah… Take it to the edge. Oh! Pull it back… Pull it back… Oh! Make it last, u little tease! Okay, crank it up! Crank it up! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! u love it, u beautiful bastard!
Kelly: So if you’re not dead, how come u smell so bad?
Nathan: I appear to have shat myself.
Alisha: Were u having a wank in there?
Nathan: Yeah, so what if I was? A man can’t enjoy a quick shuffle in his own coffin? It’s not like I was expecting visitors.
Nathan: I need to eat. Has anyone got a kebab?
Nathan: Yeah, so my mum opens the door and she’s like ‘Aaaaaaahh!’...