Please post the most hilarious joke, thanks :)

Kid : Mom can I wear mini-skirt today ? 
Mom : No ! 
Kid : Can I wear lipstick? 
Mom : No ! 
Kid : Can I wear high heels ? 
...Mom : No ! 
Kid : But mom! I'm 17 years old ! 
Mom : I know Justin, I know ...
I know u heard this before but what the hell,well here's another

*Best friend gets a boyfirend* 
Me: u look happy. And a good thing for u that she does. 
BFF boyfriend: Is this the part where u tell me if I hurt her, you'll kill me? 
Me: No. If u hurt her, she's quite capable of killing u herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons. 
BFF boyfriend: ... And another

Best friends.. u fight, I fight. u hurt, I hurt. u cry, I cry. u jump off a bridge; I get in a paddle boot and save your stupid ass. Ok that's enough peww

Knock, Knock

Who's There

Me

Me who

Me, the mailman!



LOL

[this isn't a joke] But.. I can't tell jokes, I have a very rare condition that makes me bleed if I tell a joke...... [jk]

knock knock

who's there?

owls.

owls who?

You're right.

<3

;3

Okay, here goes: Arnold Schwartzinager has a very big one. Justin Bieber has a very small one. Micky muis has a very unusual one. Jerry Sienfeld is very proud of his. Clinton uses his a lot. Tiger woods is now very ashamed of his. Madona dosen't have one.




What is it?





No, it's not a dick








it's a last name

Okay!! This is a joke I heard today!

John gets a distressed phone call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.

"I've got a problem," says Buffy.

"What's the matter?" asks John.

"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asks John.

"It's of a big rooster," antwoorden Buffy.

"All right," says John. "I'll come over and have a look."

So he goes over to Buffy's house and she greets him door saying, "Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her keuken-, keuken and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the keuken-, keuken table.

John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For heaven's sake, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."

lol!!