u like my story!??!?!?!??!

This is how I ship my-self with Mello so if that much turns u off then don't read it XD

It was like when he was joining the Mafia we'd been there for about a maand and one day, I told the guys to clean up (since I'm a girl and don't like mess). And there were like "What did u say?" So i told them i was tired of cleaning up after them all the time. So the leader was all like "I'd like to hear u say that again," and kept coming closer to me till I was backed up on a wall. Then I was just standing there too scared to say anything, so he put his hand under my chin to force me to look at him and was like "What's wrong? Cat gotcher tongue." and he dragged me into the volgende room and pushed me on the bed and tried to rape me. So Mello heard me fighting and heard bumping sounds (which was me kicking and him falling off of me) so he ran into the room and fought them off for me and told them "leave her alone if u want some so bad go out and buy it of he'd kill all of them" so he grabbed me door my wrist and pulled me to his room and threw me at the uithangbord grabbed my shoulders and was like "What's wrong with you?! How could u let that happen?!" and I started to cry I was so scared. I meer afraid of him being mad at me than being raped. So I zei "I'm sorry, I was trying to fight them off but there were too many." and I looked up, and his eyes got softer. We were just staring at each other for a while then he kissed the tears away from my face one at a time. Then I put my hands on the back of his neck and kissed him and we both slid down to the floor.And after we realized what we were doing we stopped and just stood there for a while looking at each other then he got up and went to the bathroom surprised at what he did. I waited for him to come out but he didn't so I went to his bed and fell asleep.

All done.
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*myself *. *We'd *they *I *I *against a uithangbord *, *got your tongue that's some. XD
wantadog posted een jaar geleden
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Thank you. XD
amzel posted een jaar geleden
 amzel posted een jaar geleden
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Random Antwoorden

trainofdoom82 said:
This is fucking terrible

Just saying.

Self inserts are bad enough, but I'm not judging the writing based on the pairing, the style, tone, dialogue, grammar is just terrible.

No. Just no.


u need to try harder.
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Agreed
dragonchick posted een jaar geleden
xFluttershyx said:
:)
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 :)
posted een jaar geleden 
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Did u read it?
amzel posted een jaar geleden
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No.
xFluttershyx posted een jaar geleden
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Omg XD
amzel posted een jaar geleden
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XD
xFluttershyx posted een jaar geleden
mmmpienomnomnom said:
too many words, aru! DX
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Noooooooooooooooo please it's good! People who read it zei so!
amzel posted een jaar geleden
Panda-Hero said:
I already told you, it'rs pretty sweet.
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posted een jaar geleden 
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and I mean sweet as in awww
Panda-Hero posted een jaar geleden
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See u like it! They refuse to read it! I typed it all up and no one wants to read it!
amzel posted een jaar geleden
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Well,you can't FORCE them to read it.Anyway,I think it's alright.Just improve the grammar a bit.:)
90sfan posted een jaar geleden
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^She wasn't forcing, she was asking. Forcing would be 'READ THIS of I KILL MY SISTER'
Panda-Hero posted een jaar geleden
emimc said:
Awwwwwww, so sweet. Luv da story!
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Yay. Thank u :D
amzel posted een jaar geleden
wantadog said:
That's kinda cool. I'm not much of a DN fan though...
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Thank u And what no grammar naziism(s) XD
amzel posted een jaar geleden
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lol if u want XD
wantadog posted een jaar geleden
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Take it away! I know one thing though, almoth all those sentences started with "and".
amzel posted een jaar geleden
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Lol I usually discount that one
wantadog posted een jaar geleden
TotalDramaDoll6 said:
u should do a part 2! exept no rape. i personaly think it would be better without rape. but its sweet how he rescued u :D
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posted een jaar geleden 
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XD No rape! u make it sould funny. And thanks.!
amzel posted een jaar geleden
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thx :)
TotalDramaDoll6 posted een jaar geleden
XxKeithHarkinxX said:
TL;DR

._.
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egyptprincess7 said:
*Blinks* It's okay.
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hgfan5602 said:
Rape's not for me.
Besides, u should post your stuff on True Writers.
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BlindBandit92 said:
Um yeah I am not gonna read a story based on u shipping yourself with Mello. Yeah no.
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ScaryCatfish said:
Eh.. Try a bit harder, mate. I'm assuming u like Death Note too. L is my favoriete character.
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