is this good?

link
It's a fanfiction I wrote. If 4 people like it I'll post chapter 2. Feel free to criticize. thx ☺
*
Please note I'm below 13.
misscrazel posted een jaar geleden
 misscrazel posted een jaar geleden
next question »

Random Antwoorden

tamore said:
a. writing fanfic about real people is immediately offputting especially when it's so ridiculously ooc but i'll ignore that

b. the first paragraph is "I, I, I." it's boring and all the structure is the same throughout. vary your syntax. don't just use simple sentences with one compound thrown in here - where are your subordinate clauses?

c. it moves way too fast. don't jump right into the action, c'mon now. mystery novels don't put the murder on the first page (unless they're flashing forward). the amount of action in this artikel should be at least a few thousand words in length. it's rushed.

d. overall, not really, bro.

select as best answer
posted een jaar geleden 
*
Ok, um, sorry. I'll try to improve. It doesn't seem too rushed to me considering the plot hasn't started, but I know a few things are a bit rushed in it. It's pretty hard to not do the I thing, but I'm working on it. Thanks for the input.
misscrazel posted een jaar geleden
summer2987 said:
i liked the plot line u were trying to convey, it had good characters and u obviouslt knew what u were trying to do. but, it didnt really attract me, its sort of boring to be honest, sorry, i know u probably worked hard on it, u should also try to make it a bit longer.

and if u like writing fanfiction of writing..anything, u shouldnt post it on here, and maybe instead post it on Wattpad, a site used specificly for people who want to write.

i have one, and i have actually written one, but i wont tell u what its called because i dont want to.

well, yeah.
select as best answer
posted een jaar geleden 
*
Ok, thank you.
misscrazel posted een jaar geleden
sieluvzsoul said:
There's just something about it. It just needs a little meer work, and usually if u wanna make someone stutter, u put - not ,
select as best answer
posted een jaar geleden 
*
Ok, thanks. I'm going to do some editing on it.
misscrazel posted een jaar geleden
next question »