Whats the most funnyest thing your teacher has ever zei ?

Our desks where in theses groups, and our teacher (mr.K) was walking around. One boy, (lets call him) Jason was turned away from him and sort of draped across his chair with his arm sticking out. Mr.K was walkin towards his group to get to the blackboard, but Jason didn't see him, and he was about to ask a question, so he spun around, but his arm spun around too, hitting Mr.K in the (*koff-Koff*) "area"!!! His face went so red and he doubled over! as soon as he could stand he looks at Jason a nd says " u got me!"
The whole class pissed themselves laughing XD

I remember a few years geleden i was fighting with one of my friends, our teacher stopped the fight and she told us that if we fight ever again, she'll eat our candy

There are too many hilarious things that my teachers have zei to possibly think of all of them and remember the funniest! My English teacher did say "molten metal anal probing" randomly the other dag and at first I was like wtf then I loled ...

The tallest girl in my class, she calls her 'Tall girl with glasses' ever since the sub zei that.

I told my teacher that she needs to say the attendance since it was a sub, he was like...I need a life. Absent. Suck a dick. And the class craked up.

well i remember yesterday in PE there was this dude Alex that would run up the uithangbord and do a back flip and this guy sitting on the bleachers (i think his name was Donald) was like "DO IT AGAIN!" and Alex zei "Nah man, im good." and so donald told him "man..you just scared!" and Coach Kay was like "you're the one sitting up there on your fat ezel calling him scared"

i giggled (:

to many hilarious things but the funniest was when i was really tired and i fell asleep on my bureau and the teacher zei to me get up u lazy idiot and then when i woke up i smiled and the teacher was like stop laughing u idiot and the whole class was laughing it was embarrassing and hilarious at the same time! :D

well this was like a couple months geleden and me and my friend are still cracking up about it. Our english teacher was introducing to us about Romeo and Juliet and we were talking about the scene where Romeo confessess his love. My english teacher says:

"Why can't they make it as simple as this: Romeo says, 'want to go to Vegas and get married?' and Juliet says, 'sure, who doesn't love casinos?'"

It made no sense to us but we laughed about it all day. It finally sets in that there was no Vegas at the time. lol i hope that was funny enough.

I was in muziek class and this boy Sebastian was sitting door the drums-because theres like 4 people that play that-and he was sitting in a chair nxt to a girl named Rikki. He was playing with a cord to the radio that wasn't plugged in. just as the teacher was about to make us start playing "ok lets- Sebastian what are u doing?" were her words I turned around to find him with the cord held close to his face. He dropped it and he zei "nothing" so the muziek teacher zei " yeah but your sniffing it"
so then the whole class burst out laughign when he zei " no there was a yellow stain on it" LOL Yeah right Sebastian

Haha,, one teacher i have, Mrs. Branim talksrandomly to herself, and 1 dag she was opening a box of tissues and was singing "Sweet home pagina alabama" then she culdnt get the tissues open so shes like Da** and sh**! haha Xx♥(//_^)♥xX

The funnyest things I can list:

3rd grade: my teacher told a kid, "I'm fed up with your crap!" I'll never forget it.

4th grade: My teacher told a kid to, "Shut up!"

6th grade: my teacher was trying to say "you should sit" but it came out as "you should shit"

6th grade (again): my teacher zei "damn it!"

(cant think of anymore)

Those we're the funnyest things my teachers have said.

In 5th grade art my friend told the teacher that she wanted to be a comic book artist and the teacher replied with "don't u need talent for that?" lol mean and funny at the same time XD

My health teacher was mimicking some kids she knew, and she was meaning to say "effing", but then she said, "Oh, my parents are so fucking- oh crap!" Because she realized what she said...LOL she was so embarrassed. Another thing would be when my gym teacher told us that "There's enough crap in the air to cause cancer!"

My teacher is hilarious. But I guess the most hilarious thing he zei was, "I'm a little teapot, short & fat. Here is my handle here is my fat!" Gay; I know. ;)

And also this girl named Cassidy brought her drumsticks from band class into class and the teacher took them. And he had the sticks and there was this skeleton. He went up to it and poked it with the stick and zei "AHA!" It was hilarious.

And he also took someone's hat from them. And put it on the TV. He put a note on the hat, and it said, "Dylan, if u don't shut up, the hat gets it!"

Ok so this kid in my class farted in the middle of Math then she said: Do I have to take u to the office for ur gas prob.

our subsite zei shut up to an student and he zei that we had verbal diaraha(can't spell). Another one is that one of my teachers zei "crap", but I got nothing

Well, the assistant principal is, well, nuts. She was telling my friend how gum isn't allowed in school, because my friend was caught chewing gum, then the assistant principal just goes, "World peace!"

the school phone rang and she was sitting down and it rang then she jumped up and she jumped over a cord and while she was in the air she said, " weeeeee." it was so funny

I have a few. This past jaar in English class, we were reading Julius Caesar and my English teacher was trying to teach us the correct way to spell Caesar so she used the example of how in her name it sounds like the "i" should be before the "a" but it's not, then she zei "but I hope nobody wants to kill me."
Another time I was in intro to tech class and I was really bored so anyway, I wasn't much working on the toothpick bridge. So I started talking about my usual topic with the sub (Law & Order: Criminal Intent, usually narrowed down to Detective Goren) somehow we ended up arguing over who was meer heroic, Goren of Batman. The sub tried to claim that the only reason Goren ever defeated the bad guys was because he called Batman for backup.
This is the last one although I caan think of many more. Last jaar I took Biology class. Anyway, for some reason since it was right after choir I had the hiccups a lot of times (I don't know why choir used to give me hiccups) one dag the teacher let me go get a drink. As I'm walking back to the class room she jumps out from behind this door and says "Boo!" as loud as possible. Needless to say that got rid of my hiccups.

Mr. Lorenz (my Social Studies teacher who is freakin' awesome) was telling us about the Vietnam War and the leader of the Communist side, Ho Chi Minh. (Pronounced Ho-Chee-Mih [or Min])

Apparently the Chinese (or Vietnamese...whatever) write their names backwards and Ho Chi Minh would be introduced as Mr. Ho.
After he told this to the class, everyone started giggling and he paused.
Then he chuckled at us and zei to the other teacher (Mrs. Poore), "We've got a pervert problem in here."

Now everyone started laughing because Mr. Lorenz is a pretty old guy; probably fifty-something.
And he has this big booming voice that would be heard from the end of a tunnel to China even if he was whispering. It was pretty hilarious.

♦

Oh my teachers sure crack me up! Today my English teacher was talking about the first few line of "Romeo and Juliet" and how it was pretty sexual. He asked this one boy what Sampson? meant door his "giant flesh" and the boy zei "Junk". My English teacher was like "What u don't use the proper terminology? We say "Penis! Penis!" Yeah he zei "Penis" a couple meer times. LOL.

My French teacher is always hilarious. She talks about her family all the time and her mom is real funny. Lately she's been talking about "Putting Trevor and Stephanie in her pocket" because they are both "so cute". I can understand why she likes Trevor. He's a small flamboyant boy who is dance and musical theater and stuff like that. I dunno why she loves Stephanie. Maybe its because Stephanie accidently translated that she lived in Florida.

I will post meer later. Please if u commentaar on this, please wis it if i pas aan this.

My english says so many funny things especially to this girl that she made a facebook page about it. It was called Mr. G****** says. It was hilarious. I liked this one line
Student: How far are we going to go?" (meaning how much of To Kill a mockingbird are we going to read
My teacher: All the way!
My teacher: Talking through credits? SIN SIN!!!
My teacher: Are u aware of Scooby Doo?
My teacher: No I can't jump rope today
My teacher: Don't make me angry of I'll throw my chair at you
My teacher: Don't make me angry of I'll unleash my fury
There are others that I can't think of.

Science Teacher: This is the EASIEST work ever. u could do it hanging upside down on a bus during a blackout while getting beat up door a bully.
Jason: Well aren't u going to help us?
Science Teacher: Well I would say, a dog is biotic.

Teacher: SHHHHHHH....it. Oops.
Other Teacher: Did she just say shit?
Teacher: No no no.
Other Teacher: *walks away then comes back* Well at least she didn't say crap.

LOL oh so many funny things and SO many funny teachers!! I have the most amazing teacher for English, and I had him for socials last semester and he's SO funny!

My Phyics teacher was lecturing this kid after class and zei "I'm gonna have to sit down since my shoes are getting dirty from all this shit you're telling me."
Haaah. Great line.

OK, she diddnt say this but what actually happen.
when i was in jaar 8 *three years ago*

a boy in my class dropped his worksheet and my maths teacher bent over to pick it up and at that moment a boy farted!!
SHE ZIPPED UP SO FAST THINKING IT WAS HER!!!!
OMG !! SOOOOOO FUNNY!! I CACKED MYSELF LAUGHING!!
it was a to be there moment! hard to explain, BUT HER FACE MAN!!

The funniest thing my teacher has ever said
was wen she was on a datum and the song "hit
the road Jack" cam on and her boyfriends name
was Jack. That's wen she told him 2 hit the road
and don't come back. Poor Jack.

This is not her funny but my teachers don't ussually yell at me - I'm a good girl * coughs*. so I was in science (yesturday) everyone was talking and I was looking at a friend - we just finished a conversation- and she was getting very angry so she turn around and yells shut up in my ear!!!! I was turned around so I didn't even know she was talking to me ... Later she came up to me and apologised I had to keep myself from laughing - not mud but it's all I got :)

In Science, my teacher was saying schist but instead zei shit :P

There are so many funny teachers one is letting us what an R movie during school which can get her fired, but on dag my teacher made a drug joke... we were playing a game called vis bowl, but we were using a pot and he zei thats my drug joke for today

Teacher: u have to watch out who u have oral sex with, because u can get cancer in the mouth.
Girl: What's oral sex?
Teacher: -grabs a pencil and sucks on it-

I remember in 6th grade, my teacher, who I'd had forever & was my favorite, she said; "Oops! Sorry, Andrew, I farted in your face!" Cause she was walking door the kid, Andrew and let out one and so she admitted it! She was the most amazing teacher I ever had. She taught me life lessons and was just a great lady. She would always do the Madonna thing; "Madonna, Madonna. Walk like an Egyptian!" and would actually walk like an Egyptian. I loved that lady. <3

To many...

I remember last jaar Mr. D, who is, like, our Hall Monitor basically was subbing for our S.S teacher.


Me and my vrienden walked into class laughing, we sat down, then he gave us this big speech about laughing and smiling: "WHY ARE u LAUGHING? WHY ARE u SMILING? u SHALL LAUGH AND SMILE NO MORE! THERE IS NOW A FORCEFIELD AROUND THIS DOOR *waves arms frantically at door* WHERE u WILL LEAVE ALL YOUR SMILES!"

Yeah...

We couldn't take him seriously (sp?) after that.

Okay well in history
Teacher: im wont be here tomorow
Zara: where are u going?
Teacher: Paris
Zara: (as a joke) oh, same here
Teacher: see u there then. ( in that perverted kind of way!0

lol

once in maths we were doing the binary system and we had to use our fingers and
teacher: okay say a sequence of numbers and i will toon u what it looks like
My Friend: (some sequence of numbers)

at that very moment the teacher put up her middle finger cos that is what the numbers made lol and the head came in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

everyone died of laughter!!!!

it was not a thing my teacher said,but it was a thing he did. My teacher would like 2 joke a around a lot. so;one dag my teacher (my teacher was a boy) he dressed up like an old lady. wait,theres more! and he had some ruler stuck in his wig (i think he knew!) i got up and pointed out 2 him that he had a ruler stuck in his wig. (just in case.) and everyone tryed pulling it out,but my teacher would slap them (not hurting,ya know,for a joke) i was the one who started it so;i tried 2 pull the ruler out of his wig. HE SLAPPED ME!!! and in a old lady voice he said:"Get of my hair u little monster" of something like that. as soon as he zei that i ran away into my fav part of the room 2 giggle with my best friend!

my writing teacher said:
Writing is like a bikini, yyou hvae to cover all the parts.

My French teacher is an old guy who is gysterical but u dont know that until u have him as a teacher.
And he has a really slow voice that is deep.

"When u sit around the avondeten, diner tafel, tabel tonight and your mummy serves u your beans on geroosterd brood, toast u can tell her, Mummy, I won't be watching Emmerdale of Gossip Girl tonight because for once I will be utilising my brain and studying m grammar checklist... which I do often"

I think it is one of those u have to be their moments xD But i was pissing myself laughin (not literally)

One dag in math in 4th of 5th grade, I asked the teacher a vraag meanwhile she was talking on the phone: "How do u do this problem?"
And she yelled at me "BE QUIET! DO u KNOW HOW INCONSIDERATE u ARE?!?!?!?!" and then she started ranting about personal space and medication.

last jaar in social studies my friend was in trouble so my teacher asked her for her moms phone number,as the phone was ringing he said"which mom is this".As soon as he zei that EVERYONE started dying with laughter(nicoles moms a lesbian and is married)he didnt mean to be rude thats just how it came out,but of course kids are immature so now every time someone mentions her mom theres always a kid who goes"which one"

LOL, my science teacher was telling us how the plates of the earth moved up and down and she called it: "Squirmy Wormy" and everyone laughed! XD

OK so i was in social studies and my teacher was talking about the horn in africa of something. my friend just told a joke and we were laughing and my teahcer was like "are u laughing because africa is horny?" and we all cracked up. he knew wat he was saying too

my S.S.(social studies)teacher,Mr.Skelton is hilarious.There are lots of funny things he's said.On the first dag of school,he walked right over to this guy,Hunter,and zei something like"hi dumplin!"It was funny.
And another time he zei Hunter could be a Macy's Thanksgiving dag parade balloon because his head was so big.
And another time,he zei this girl,Brana looked like the cowardly lion from the wizard of oz,and then he did an impression of the lion.
And he's zei lots of other funny things

My 6th grade English teacher was trying to tell a boy in my class to sit down, but instead, she zei "Sheldon, shit down."

We still haven't forgetten about that dag [x

Idk if its funny, but surely stupid. My english teacher said: shut up and say what u wanted to say. :-D
has she ever thought its impossibile?? ;D

my fourth grade teacher was the craziest and most hilarious guy. one time he zei he wanted to tell us a story about when he went to niagra falls with his three sons. (but i was confused cause he zei he only has two sons at other times) he started telling off the story normally but then he zei that one of his sons was just being so annoying and obnoxious that he grabbed him door his overhemd, shirt and threw him over. and he zei that was why he only has two sons now. and at first i thought he was serious because of the expression on his face and he never changed it. he could have actually done that. lol.

keep your bananas to yourself.... ok let me explain well we were in Social Studies and our teacher zei we were gonna watch a video and this one kid was like to his friend: did u get a banaan with your lunch today? and then the teacher was like Mr.Glenn i would appreciate it if u would turn around and keep your bananas to yourself.

Well in Welsh class, peas in welsh are pys, of (piece) but this one boy (lets call him Gregg) zei "piss" and the teacher zei "I don't exactly want to be eating piss, now *Gregg*" it wasn't rellie funnie but another one was in Science.

The science teacher zei we were doing a practical and she called these five boys up to the front of the class and zei "Ooh, a gang bang!" door accident. But it was so funnie coz afterwards everyone was aying "We're avin a gang banngggg" in the Cardiff accent that we have it was so funny! The whole class was pissing themselves with laughter throughout the rest of the lesson! There goes Science, YAY!

Yeah, Mikey go do it!
~ i started laughing my ezel off and every1 was staring at me

My teacher called me over to do stuff on the board door my name (iris). Instead of calling my iris she called me irish. I was like "did u just call me irish?!" my teacher was like "no. Now get to the board, irish" then the whole class started cracking up.

okay well there's this boy(jacob taylor) what he he dressed up as lagy gaga(short skirt) for sprit celberty day. he rides my bus and when we got off me and my friend hayley pointed him out to mr. gonz gonz (gonzalas)and he zei "he cant see my poker face"......if u get what he zei then its funny. if u dont get it well sooryy