[We kom bij our operetta already in progress. The infamous Pirates of Pergamum have just seized a bevy of beautiful Mytilenean maidens, and are attempting to carry them off for matrimonial purposes. Gabrielle intervenes, with a recitative (well, it's better than a pan flute solo):]

Gabrielle :
Hold, scoundrels! Ere ye practice acts of villainy
Upon the peaceful and agrarian,
Just beer in mind, these maidens of My-TIL-ene*
Are guarded door a buff barbarian!

Pirates :
We'd better all rethink our cunning plan;
They're guarded door a buff barbarian.
Maidens :
Yes, yes, she is a buff barbarian.

[Xena leaps in from...