Chapter 5
When we arrived at the school I sat there a moment just staring at it. This would be my prison, I could just tell. How will I ever survive? My mom was already out of the car; she reached her head in the door.
“Get out.”
“Why do u even care what I do?” I asked incredulously.
“I don’t.’ she zei bluntly.
“Well way to be blunt.” I zei sarcastically.
“Would u just hurry up?”
“I’m coming.” I slowly climbed out, biting my lip to stop the inevitable pain. “You know a little help would be nice.” I zei sarcastically as I finally stood on my crutches. “Let’s go.” I started hobbling off towards the school.
As I opened the front door and stepped inside I was a little amazed. The high ceilings were hung with lamps that illuminated a soft light. Half-way up the uithangbord were brown bricks which were then taken over door white bricks. The main office sat just off to the right. I opened the door for myself and went inside as my mother trailed behind me. She walked up to the long desk, which I thought was the receptionist desk.
“Hi, I need to enroll my daughter in school.” My mom faked a smile.
This older looking lady sat behind the bureau with a high school student to her left. “Could u bring me the enrollment forms off that desk?” She zei very southerly.
“Where?” The girl asked.
“You know where my office is? Well the room u pass through before my office, in there u will see a long table. On that tafel, tabel there’s a stack of forms look for the one that says enrolment on it and bring it to me.” She zei sweetly. She reminded me of someone’s grandmother. She just had this grandmotherly thing about her. The girl got up and left returning a few minuten later with a stack of paperwork. My mother took the paperwork and began filling it out. I just sat in one of the two chairs in the office looking around. I could see into the office I was sitting volgende to.
In there sat another older looking woman but who was younger than the first woman. She had a bureau that took up pretty much the whole space of her office. Also I noticed that she had a bunch of Elvis memorabilia. She obviously was a fan of Elvis. All the sudden a memory came flooding back to me.
“Elvis, why don’t u open that gift next,” my uncle said. I stared at my sister. “Yeah open that one next.” I smiled. Elvis was my big sister Kelsey’s nickname from my uncle. My uncle had a nickname for me too, frog; because when I was born I just to stick my tongue out and sit like a frog. Kelsey got her nickname from one of the outfits my mom had bought her home pagina in when she was a baby. I almost smiled thinking about it.
I was sucked back when I heard the older woman talking. “Now you’ll need to come to school tomorrow, but make sure to stop door here first so that I can get one of the students to toon u around.” She smiled at me.
“I won’t be coming tomorrow.” I stated.
“Carrie,” my mother scolded. “You don’t say it like that.”
“Oh I’m sorry, “I zei sarcastically. “How does this work? I told u so.”
“Carrie, enough.” My mother practically yelled. She turned towards the older looking woman. “I’m sorry she’s normally not like this. She won’t be able to come tomorrow; I thought if I registered her today it would take longer. She has surgery tomorrow and so she can’t come.”
“That’s okay; she’ll just need to get a note from her doctor.” She smiled at me. “Feel better.”
“Yeah right,” I mumbled under my breath as I crutched away.
“Thank u so much,” my mom zei as we walked away.
As soon as the door closed and we were out of the building my mom started yelling. “Why were u being so incredibly rude? That lady didn’t deserve that.” She scowled at me.
‘I didn’t mean to be rude to her. I meant to direct it towards you.” I practically screamed. “I told you, I told u they would want me to enroll if we came and registered me today. I told they would want me in class tomorrow, but did u listen to me? NO. Why not? Because I’m just a stupid kid and you’re an adult so u think u know everything.” My mom got in the car without a word. I climbed in being careful to take it slowly.
“For your information, I don’t think I know everything; and fine u were right. Does it make u happy that I’m admitting u were right?” She scowled at the road.
“Ecstatic.” I zei sarcastically.
“Great,” she growled. The rest of the way home pagina we didn’t talk which was fine door me. She drove me crazy all the freaking time. I couldn’t breathe without her telling me I was doing it wrong. I couldn’t even say anything without her assuming it had some hidden meaning.
When we got home pagina I went to my room and she went to hers. Good, I thought, finally, some peace and quiet. Hopefully she just leaves me alone for the rest of the day. I stared up at my ceiling. Slowly my mind drifted away until I fell into a deep sleep.
I watched as Kelsey sat on the divan, bank crying. Then I walked into the room. “Kelsey, don’t cry. u know mom and dad are just worried. They don’t mean to act like that.”
“I know, but they treat me like I’m five.”
“I know.” I smiled sympathetically. “I know.” I wrapped her closer to me.
I remembered that day. Kelsey had asked to go to some party and my parents zei no. They told her they didn’t like the people she was hanging out with so they told her she couldn’t go. I remember the screaming and the fighting. This wasn’t the first fight they had over that situation it was just the last one they had over that situation. Kelsey had died a few days later.
I woke up with tears staining my face. I quickly wiped them away and looked outside it was getting dark so that means it must be about five of six. I got up to see a note attached to the fridge.
I went out to get some food. Be back later.
Mom
I went through the fridge and found some leftovers that didn’t look too bad, yeah, they would work. I hopped over to the counter and stuck it in the microwave. As I waited I let myself do something I swore I wouldn’t do. I cried. I cried and didn’t stop even when I started eating. I only stopped when I heard the front door being unlocked. I got up as quickly as I could and hobbled to the sink, hiding my face. “Get everything u needed?” I asked bored.
“Yes.” She whispered. I hobbled off away from her and back to my room. It was then that I noticed something black sitting on my floor. I picked it up. It was the rock from the lake. I turned it over in my hands and then placed it on my dresser. It was the only thing on there. I didn’t need many material things; of at least that’s what I told myself. I stared at the rock for a few meer minuten before going back to laying on my bed. I reached over and grabbed my laptop.
“Let’s see what’s happening on Facebook today.” I zei sarcastically. I opened up the internet and typed in Facebook. A page pulled up asking for my gebruikersnaam and password. I typed in both. I didn’t have very many friends; just my parents, my sister, and a few colleges. I didn’t bother looking at Kelsey’s; I knew what I would find; a bunch of photos, some uithangbord posts from people who had barely talked to her, and a bunch of we’ll miss u messages. After Kelsey’s funeral we got all these flowers and all these people stopping by. Some of these people Kelsey had hated door they stopped door and pretended like they were the best of friends. It had really made me mad and it still did.
I decided to look at my dad’s profile. On it sat a picture of Kelsey but there were some newer pictures. Ones with a strange woman in them; I looked at his relationship status: engaged. Engaged? Engaged? Are u serious? Here we were falling apart and yet he was just moving on with life. How could he be even thinking about marrying someone? Who would get married so short of a time after their daughter was killed? What kind of person does that? I went through the pictures. They were all the same. A pretty blonde with her arms around my dad, smiling, and laughing as if nothing bad has ever happened. I stared at the blonde woman staring back at me.
She was pretty. She had blue eyes and long eyelashes that every woman dreamed about. She probably wore a size two but had double D boobs. She wore a million watt smile. I stared at her. How had my dad gotten this woman? My dad was not the most attractive guy, and I can say that because I am reacted to him. Was it the money? Because it’s not like he had a lot of that. My mom was the one who made most of the money in our house, I knew how much he made and it wasn’t a lot. My mom had always been the provider. I knew how my dad had gotten my mom; he knocked her up, and because otherwise I don’t think my mom would have stayed if they hadn’t had Kelsey. Don’t get me wrong I never once blamed her; because to blame her would be to blame myself. I was also born before they got married. I closed my eyes.
Kelsey, do u remember when we first learned we were born out of wedlock? I do. I remember u told mom that it wasn’t fair that she got to go around having babies without being married but that u had to wait to have kids. Well Kelsey, now you’ll never have those kids. You’ll never get to have some guy look at u like u are the most beautiful thing in the world. Do u ever feel sad about that? Do u ever cry? I cry for u all the time. Every time I think about the fact that you’ll never be called mommy and never get to walk down the aisle.
Kelsey does it bother you? Does it make u crazy? It drives me crazy. It drives me insane that you’ll never get any of the opportunities that u deserved. It makes me sick to know that u won’t get any chance to have anything u were supposed to have. u were supposed to have kids and three dogs and a husband who adored you. u were supposed to walk down the aisle in that dress you’ve been dreaming about since u were five. u were supposed to get the big house with the yard. u were supposed to have Isabella, my niece, and u were supposed to come to my wedding and be my maid of honor. u were supposed to be there when I had my first kid. u were supposed to hold my hand when my husband and I had our first fight. I was supposed to hold your hand when your daughter graduated and when the last one left. I was supposed to cry with u when u became a grandmother.
All of those moments were meant for u and know what do u have? u get to watch as people who don’t deserve kids have them. u get to watch as someone who should never be a grandparent becomes one. u have to watch as people who have no right to live, live on. Does it frustrate you? It frustrates me. It kills me. u were a good person; u should have had all those things. Instead u get to be dead. How is that fair? It’s not.
When I opened my eyes I was crying hysterically. I couldn’t breathe. I sat up and cried. My hart-, hart and soul were ripping apart with the agony. All these murders get to just sit on death row till they die of old age but my sister died when she was eighteen. She was just a baby compared to them. She didn’t deserve what she got. I cried even harder. I cried until there was nothing left but emptiness and sorrow; and when I was done I laid down on my side, ignoring the pain in my ankle. I wrapped myself tightly around a hoofdkussen, kussen and wrapped myself tightly in a blanket. Hoping that those two things would hold me together. Eventually, though, I feel asleep.
When we arrived at the school I sat there a moment just staring at it. This would be my prison, I could just tell. How will I ever survive? My mom was already out of the car; she reached her head in the door.
“Get out.”
“Why do u even care what I do?” I asked incredulously.
“I don’t.’ she zei bluntly.
“Well way to be blunt.” I zei sarcastically.
“Would u just hurry up?”
“I’m coming.” I slowly climbed out, biting my lip to stop the inevitable pain. “You know a little help would be nice.” I zei sarcastically as I finally stood on my crutches. “Let’s go.” I started hobbling off towards the school.
As I opened the front door and stepped inside I was a little amazed. The high ceilings were hung with lamps that illuminated a soft light. Half-way up the uithangbord were brown bricks which were then taken over door white bricks. The main office sat just off to the right. I opened the door for myself and went inside as my mother trailed behind me. She walked up to the long desk, which I thought was the receptionist desk.
“Hi, I need to enroll my daughter in school.” My mom faked a smile.
This older looking lady sat behind the bureau with a high school student to her left. “Could u bring me the enrollment forms off that desk?” She zei very southerly.
“Where?” The girl asked.
“You know where my office is? Well the room u pass through before my office, in there u will see a long table. On that tafel, tabel there’s a stack of forms look for the one that says enrolment on it and bring it to me.” She zei sweetly. She reminded me of someone’s grandmother. She just had this grandmotherly thing about her. The girl got up and left returning a few minuten later with a stack of paperwork. My mother took the paperwork and began filling it out. I just sat in one of the two chairs in the office looking around. I could see into the office I was sitting volgende to.
In there sat another older looking woman but who was younger than the first woman. She had a bureau that took up pretty much the whole space of her office. Also I noticed that she had a bunch of Elvis memorabilia. She obviously was a fan of Elvis. All the sudden a memory came flooding back to me.
“Elvis, why don’t u open that gift next,” my uncle said. I stared at my sister. “Yeah open that one next.” I smiled. Elvis was my big sister Kelsey’s nickname from my uncle. My uncle had a nickname for me too, frog; because when I was born I just to stick my tongue out and sit like a frog. Kelsey got her nickname from one of the outfits my mom had bought her home pagina in when she was a baby. I almost smiled thinking about it.
I was sucked back when I heard the older woman talking. “Now you’ll need to come to school tomorrow, but make sure to stop door here first so that I can get one of the students to toon u around.” She smiled at me.
“I won’t be coming tomorrow.” I stated.
“Carrie,” my mother scolded. “You don’t say it like that.”
“Oh I’m sorry, “I zei sarcastically. “How does this work? I told u so.”
“Carrie, enough.” My mother practically yelled. She turned towards the older looking woman. “I’m sorry she’s normally not like this. She won’t be able to come tomorrow; I thought if I registered her today it would take longer. She has surgery tomorrow and so she can’t come.”
“That’s okay; she’ll just need to get a note from her doctor.” She smiled at me. “Feel better.”
“Yeah right,” I mumbled under my breath as I crutched away.
“Thank u so much,” my mom zei as we walked away.
As soon as the door closed and we were out of the building my mom started yelling. “Why were u being so incredibly rude? That lady didn’t deserve that.” She scowled at me.
‘I didn’t mean to be rude to her. I meant to direct it towards you.” I practically screamed. “I told you, I told u they would want me to enroll if we came and registered me today. I told they would want me in class tomorrow, but did u listen to me? NO. Why not? Because I’m just a stupid kid and you’re an adult so u think u know everything.” My mom got in the car without a word. I climbed in being careful to take it slowly.
“For your information, I don’t think I know everything; and fine u were right. Does it make u happy that I’m admitting u were right?” She scowled at the road.
“Ecstatic.” I zei sarcastically.
“Great,” she growled. The rest of the way home pagina we didn’t talk which was fine door me. She drove me crazy all the freaking time. I couldn’t breathe without her telling me I was doing it wrong. I couldn’t even say anything without her assuming it had some hidden meaning.
When we got home pagina I went to my room and she went to hers. Good, I thought, finally, some peace and quiet. Hopefully she just leaves me alone for the rest of the day. I stared up at my ceiling. Slowly my mind drifted away until I fell into a deep sleep.
I watched as Kelsey sat on the divan, bank crying. Then I walked into the room. “Kelsey, don’t cry. u know mom and dad are just worried. They don’t mean to act like that.”
“I know, but they treat me like I’m five.”
“I know.” I smiled sympathetically. “I know.” I wrapped her closer to me.
I remembered that day. Kelsey had asked to go to some party and my parents zei no. They told her they didn’t like the people she was hanging out with so they told her she couldn’t go. I remember the screaming and the fighting. This wasn’t the first fight they had over that situation it was just the last one they had over that situation. Kelsey had died a few days later.
I woke up with tears staining my face. I quickly wiped them away and looked outside it was getting dark so that means it must be about five of six. I got up to see a note attached to the fridge.
I went out to get some food. Be back later.
Mom
I went through the fridge and found some leftovers that didn’t look too bad, yeah, they would work. I hopped over to the counter and stuck it in the microwave. As I waited I let myself do something I swore I wouldn’t do. I cried. I cried and didn’t stop even when I started eating. I only stopped when I heard the front door being unlocked. I got up as quickly as I could and hobbled to the sink, hiding my face. “Get everything u needed?” I asked bored.
“Yes.” She whispered. I hobbled off away from her and back to my room. It was then that I noticed something black sitting on my floor. I picked it up. It was the rock from the lake. I turned it over in my hands and then placed it on my dresser. It was the only thing on there. I didn’t need many material things; of at least that’s what I told myself. I stared at the rock for a few meer minuten before going back to laying on my bed. I reached over and grabbed my laptop.
“Let’s see what’s happening on Facebook today.” I zei sarcastically. I opened up the internet and typed in Facebook. A page pulled up asking for my gebruikersnaam and password. I typed in both. I didn’t have very many friends; just my parents, my sister, and a few colleges. I didn’t bother looking at Kelsey’s; I knew what I would find; a bunch of photos, some uithangbord posts from people who had barely talked to her, and a bunch of we’ll miss u messages. After Kelsey’s funeral we got all these flowers and all these people stopping by. Some of these people Kelsey had hated door they stopped door and pretended like they were the best of friends. It had really made me mad and it still did.
I decided to look at my dad’s profile. On it sat a picture of Kelsey but there were some newer pictures. Ones with a strange woman in them; I looked at his relationship status: engaged. Engaged? Engaged? Are u serious? Here we were falling apart and yet he was just moving on with life. How could he be even thinking about marrying someone? Who would get married so short of a time after their daughter was killed? What kind of person does that? I went through the pictures. They were all the same. A pretty blonde with her arms around my dad, smiling, and laughing as if nothing bad has ever happened. I stared at the blonde woman staring back at me.
She was pretty. She had blue eyes and long eyelashes that every woman dreamed about. She probably wore a size two but had double D boobs. She wore a million watt smile. I stared at her. How had my dad gotten this woman? My dad was not the most attractive guy, and I can say that because I am reacted to him. Was it the money? Because it’s not like he had a lot of that. My mom was the one who made most of the money in our house, I knew how much he made and it wasn’t a lot. My mom had always been the provider. I knew how my dad had gotten my mom; he knocked her up, and because otherwise I don’t think my mom would have stayed if they hadn’t had Kelsey. Don’t get me wrong I never once blamed her; because to blame her would be to blame myself. I was also born before they got married. I closed my eyes.
Kelsey, do u remember when we first learned we were born out of wedlock? I do. I remember u told mom that it wasn’t fair that she got to go around having babies without being married but that u had to wait to have kids. Well Kelsey, now you’ll never have those kids. You’ll never get to have some guy look at u like u are the most beautiful thing in the world. Do u ever feel sad about that? Do u ever cry? I cry for u all the time. Every time I think about the fact that you’ll never be called mommy and never get to walk down the aisle.
Kelsey does it bother you? Does it make u crazy? It drives me crazy. It drives me insane that you’ll never get any of the opportunities that u deserved. It makes me sick to know that u won’t get any chance to have anything u were supposed to have. u were supposed to have kids and three dogs and a husband who adored you. u were supposed to walk down the aisle in that dress you’ve been dreaming about since u were five. u were supposed to get the big house with the yard. u were supposed to have Isabella, my niece, and u were supposed to come to my wedding and be my maid of honor. u were supposed to be there when I had my first kid. u were supposed to hold my hand when my husband and I had our first fight. I was supposed to hold your hand when your daughter graduated and when the last one left. I was supposed to cry with u when u became a grandmother.
All of those moments were meant for u and know what do u have? u get to watch as people who don’t deserve kids have them. u get to watch as someone who should never be a grandparent becomes one. u have to watch as people who have no right to live, live on. Does it frustrate you? It frustrates me. It kills me. u were a good person; u should have had all those things. Instead u get to be dead. How is that fair? It’s not.
When I opened my eyes I was crying hysterically. I couldn’t breathe. I sat up and cried. My hart-, hart and soul were ripping apart with the agony. All these murders get to just sit on death row till they die of old age but my sister died when she was eighteen. She was just a baby compared to them. She didn’t deserve what she got. I cried even harder. I cried until there was nothing left but emptiness and sorrow; and when I was done I laid down on my side, ignoring the pain in my ankle. I wrapped myself tightly around a hoofdkussen, kussen and wrapped myself tightly in a blanket. Hoping that those two things would hold me together. Eventually, though, I feel asleep.
War
I am weak losing strength, like losing blood
but the scene just drags on no one sees me.
I am unnoticed and as the picture fades away.
I'm covered with a touch, a healing touch.
I look at the face, the kind kind face smiling down at me.
I extend a hand but it never reaches its destination.
About this poem: I wrote it last night and its set in Afghanistan when someone's been shot and everyone's busy fighting so they don't notice him and then he sees the angel of death in front of him and then he dies before he can touch it.
Dedicated to the soldiers of Afghanistan.
I am weak losing strength, like losing blood
but the scene just drags on no one sees me.
I am unnoticed and as the picture fades away.
I'm covered with a touch, a healing touch.
I look at the face, the kind kind face smiling down at me.
I extend a hand but it never reaches its destination.
About this poem: I wrote it last night and its set in Afghanistan when someone's been shot and everyone's busy fighting so they don't notice him and then he sees the angel of death in front of him and then he dies before he can touch it.
Dedicated to the soldiers of Afghanistan.
Last Love
Your hart-, hart is breaking,
waiting for a rose to bloom again,
hoping your hart-, hart wounds will heal,
Not knowing that it can't.
u cry out in pain but no one can hear you.
About poem: I wrote this poem Saturday night(AKA yesterday) Its about someone who was being abused door their girl/boyfriend then she/he dumps them and their alone on the straat and no one will hear cause their minds are full of hate and ignorance, they ignore the hurt person and let them scream out in pain.
(If this poem disturbs u plz message me and I'll wis it of put............well i don't know)
Your hart-, hart is breaking,
waiting for a rose to bloom again,
hoping your hart-, hart wounds will heal,
Not knowing that it can't.
u cry out in pain but no one can hear you.
About poem: I wrote this poem Saturday night(AKA yesterday) Its about someone who was being abused door their girl/boyfriend then she/he dumps them and their alone on the straat and no one will hear cause their minds are full of hate and ignorance, they ignore the hurt person and let them scream out in pain.
(If this poem disturbs u plz message me and I'll wis it of put............well i don't know)
Pain Of Secrets
dag door day, your corrage
fades and the mask falls
off your face.
People start to notice
and ask if your ok,
the meer they ask
the meer u sulk
your heading for a cliff.
Your hurting yourself,
your such a disgrace
and u should never
have excist.
u collapes at school
from all the pressure,
people say its from all
the leasure.
Tear drop hits the floor.
u stand at a bridge
and look at the road
below.
Walking forward,
someone tries to stop
you,
u turn around and
there stands the
man of your dreams.
He brings u close
and hugs u saying
its going to be okay.
dag door day, your corrage
fades and the mask falls
off your face.
People start to notice
and ask if your ok,
the meer they ask
the meer u sulk
your heading for a cliff.
Your hurting yourself,
your such a disgrace
and u should never
have excist.
u collapes at school
from all the pressure,
people say its from all
the leasure.
Tear drop hits the floor.
u stand at a bridge
and look at the road
below.
Walking forward,
someone tries to stop
you,
u turn around and
there stands the
man of your dreams.
He brings u close
and hugs u saying
its going to be okay.
King Of Evil
Blood trickles, rain pours
lightning strikes at your door.
brand burns, children scream,
even meer pain as it seems.
Sun hides, darkness shows,
as the king evil grows.
His army growing stronger and stronger
and your living a life of danger.
They patrol the street
looking for something
to eat.
If they smell you,
you'd better run.
About this poem: This poem is about people living in fear and a bad magician who calls himself king and tries to feed his beer army (sounds alot like narnia)
:P
:)
:D
XO
:O
Blood trickles, rain pours
lightning strikes at your door.
brand burns, children scream,
even meer pain as it seems.
Sun hides, darkness shows,
as the king evil grows.
His army growing stronger and stronger
and your living a life of danger.
They patrol the street
looking for something
to eat.
If they smell you,
you'd better run.
About this poem: This poem is about people living in fear and a bad magician who calls himself king and tries to feed his beer army (sounds alot like narnia)
:P
:)
:D
XO
:O