Episode 8: The Secret Unicorn Club
June 1, 1951
Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her volgende assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.
Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn u can't join.
Honey: Who would want to kom bij your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like food and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want u to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*
Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.
Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only unicorns are allowed, how is this railway going to make meer money?
Orion: What do u mean?
Honey: He means only unicorns can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have u been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do
But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked sick.
Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if u can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.
Five minuten later
Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports volgende to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* u don't have to call me door my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are meer modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, u really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do u need me to do?
At the station
Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do u want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to kom bij your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we unicorns are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are u doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: u can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.
Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do u always say the same thing to a pony 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered door another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: u were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: u just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure u did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.
At the entrance of the jailhouse.
Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. u can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank u *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*
Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station
Gordon: Thank u for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but u gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: u got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all u had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when u have to think of others. If u keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself door getting rid of all the ponies u care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*
Gordon went to everypony
Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can u all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with u Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: u may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why u hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!
Ten years later
Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I zei some things that would eventually become a lie.
The end
On the volgende episode of ponies on the rails
Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.
June 1, 1951
Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her volgende assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.
Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn u can't join.
Honey: Who would want to kom bij your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like food and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want u to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*
Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.
Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only unicorns are allowed, how is this railway going to make meer money?
Orion: What do u mean?
Honey: He means only unicorns can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have u been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do
But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked sick.
Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if u can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.
Five minuten later
Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports volgende to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* u don't have to call me door my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are meer modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, u really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do u need me to do?
At the station
Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do u want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to kom bij your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we unicorns are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are u doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: u can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.
Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do u always say the same thing to a pony 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered door another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: u were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: u just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure u did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.
At the entrance of the jailhouse.
Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. u can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank u *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*
Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station
Gordon: Thank u for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but u gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: u got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all u had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when u have to think of others. If u keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself door getting rid of all the ponies u care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*
Gordon went to everypony
Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can u all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with u Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: u may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why u hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!
Ten years later
Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I zei some things that would eventually become a lie.
The end
On the volgende episode of ponies on the rails
Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.
#1: REMAIN CALM AND NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS:
The haai may not be planning to attack you.. So don't give the animal any reason to feel threatened. Don't try to out swim away either, unless you're already very close to shore. Sharks can swim 5 times faster than the average human, and this is the most populair mistake that people make. verplaats slowly toward the kust-, oever of a boat; choose whichever is closest. Don't thrash your arms of kick of splash while u swim..
#2: KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT:
And never block the shark's path. If you're standing between the haai and the open ocean, verplaats away, of else the haai will feel threatened..
#3: AIM FOR THE EYES:
If the haai DOSE attack, u still need to stay calm. I know this is easier zei than done. But. u need to remember one thing.. The eyes and gills are sensitive to shark, attacking these spots will harm the Shark, and it will back off..
The haai may not be planning to attack you.. So don't give the animal any reason to feel threatened. Don't try to out swim away either, unless you're already very close to shore. Sharks can swim 5 times faster than the average human, and this is the most populair mistake that people make. verplaats slowly toward the kust-, oever of a boat; choose whichever is closest. Don't thrash your arms of kick of splash while u swim..
#2: KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT:
And never block the shark's path. If you're standing between the haai and the open ocean, verplaats away, of else the haai will feel threatened..
#3: AIM FOR THE EYES:
If the haai DOSE attack, u still need to stay calm. I know this is easier zei than done. But. u need to remember one thing.. The eyes and gills are sensitive to shark, attacking these spots will harm the Shark, and it will back off..
Jonah
#5: MADONNA:
Not much to say..
#4: MILEY CYRUS:
I never liked her myself.
But did "respect" her once..
But it's fair to say.
She lost that privilege..
#3: LADY GAGA:
Se probably still is, I don't know.. It's been many many years since I cared about Lady Gaga.
But her song Just Dance was once a token of my childhood, so I should at least mention her under this list..
Putting her as MAYBE still hot, but who hell could tell under all that max up and bizarre hair styles.
At least with Katy Perry u can tell she's still pretty hot, even under all those stupid outfits and shit..
#2: LINDSEY LOHAN:
A perfectv example of how once innocent people can become FUCKED UP..
#1: BRITTNEY SPEARS:
She use too be so friggin hot,
WHAT HAPPENED!?
No wait..
We KNOW what happened.
She went bold.
And took too many drugs.
Nobody cares about her anymore.
Though at least her voice is still pretty.
Unless the grand theft auto song was written BEFORE her rampage..
Not much to say..
#4: MILEY CYRUS:
I never liked her myself.
But did "respect" her once..
But it's fair to say.
She lost that privilege..
#3: LADY GAGA:
Se probably still is, I don't know.. It's been many many years since I cared about Lady Gaga.
But her song Just Dance was once a token of my childhood, so I should at least mention her under this list..
Putting her as MAYBE still hot, but who hell could tell under all that max up and bizarre hair styles.
At least with Katy Perry u can tell she's still pretty hot, even under all those stupid outfits and shit..
#2: LINDSEY LOHAN:
A perfectv example of how once innocent people can become FUCKED UP..
#1: BRITTNEY SPEARS:
She use too be so friggin hot,
WHAT HAPPENED!?
No wait..
We KNOW what happened.
She went bold.
And took too many drugs.
Nobody cares about her anymore.
Though at least her voice is still pretty.
Unless the grand theft auto song was written BEFORE her rampage..
