My Little pony Friendship is Magic Club
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Anyone remember the days of how this club- no, this WEBSITE- used to be? I do. I remember it as a place full of great people, ideas, and extravagant conversation.

It was also full of assholes, trolls, conflict, and arguments.

But was that bad? Nah, not really. I like conflict. Can't be a sword without being forged in flame, amirite? Hardships make the soul stronger.

And, unlike how the club is now, it's not so BORING.
I mean really, coming back to the site as it is now, I fully realize why I left in the first place.

This place is so BORING. I mean, maybe it's because i've grown intellectually over time, but nothing here is stimulating me intellectually. Every time a potential conflict is brought up, it's snuffed out immediately, as if it was never going to happen. and that's so BORING.

I feel I should be partially to blame for this, I guess. There were a few cases where conflict was almost sparked and I intentionally snuffed it out, because I didn't want anyone to go through the bullshit of a week-long argument that used to be on a regular basis in the old days.

And I realized just now that there's really no fun in that. This place is so dry, you'd think that it was an African server of something. It's like a burger- it's not tasty without substance of spice.

The old days where arguments were rampant, those were fun. I actually started my first relationship because of a troll, u know. Didn't end well, but that's water on the bridge, I guess.

And these days I feel like there's an air of ignorance on this club. It's like no one here knows anything OTHER than the club.

And I'm about to insult a big portion of the club, so get ready to hate me in
3.
2...
1- THE FUCKING FANFICTIONS

Oh my god, this has always been a problem, I know, but the FANFICTIONS here are soooo stupid!

I only read the first page at a time, to see if it's still a thing, but oh my god it is.
There's no descriptive detail. At all. It's written like a bunch of amateurs would write out RPGs in Habbo Hotel (basically none of u are going to understand that, so I'm just gonna give an example).
Here's how an rpg on habbo hotel would've gone (this example is from a pokemon rpg room)

btpoke: *I use thunderbolt*
btpoke: *it's a hit*
aerowing64: *I dodge it*
aerowing64: Oh sh*t, I didn't type fast enough to dodge it.

Now did u notice anything about that example?
That it didn't exactly seem all that appealing? well, it wasn't, but we acted like it was.

THAT IS WHAT WE ARE DOING RIGHT NOW WITH FANFICTIONS

Every single action is written out with a basic text like *twilight pokes rainbow*

WHO WANTS TO READ THAT GARBAGE?

----

In a fit of rage, and glowing red with anger, btflash grabs the nearest bookshelf with his powerful, enriched, and totally not fictional muscles. Rippling with power, btflash picks up the bookshelf and throws it towards the nearest wall. The uithangbord and the bookshelf each explode in a clash of wood and plaster, bringing down the fragile ceiling where the supporting beam once was.

"I can't believe I had to destroy a uithangbord AND a bookshelf just to prove a point." Btflash said, while wiping his hand across his sweat-stained brow.

----

Descriptive. Detail. It adds flair to an otherwise dry and boring story.

And onto my final point. Grimdark shit.
I don't give a shit about it.
It's ok in my mind, but I don't go out of my way to give a shit about it.

That is all. btflash out.
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners... NOT ME
posted by Canada24
Two weeks after we last left off.

Today was the day, Ditto was suppose to come.

"I still can't believe we have to do this" Dash groaned, her nose still bandaged and she hovered over them.

"Hey, it's not our call, it's Celestia's" Twilight told the young Pegasus.

"Fine" Dash groaned.

"Lets just hope he dosen't try anything" She added.

Everyone agreed.

Eventually Celestia flew down in her carriage, carrying Ditto in it as well.

"Ahh, there u are" Twilight said.

Celestia noded and got out of the carriage, and took Ditto out of it also, who looked not at all pleased about being here.

Twilight and the others...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con, and Ms. Bonjour were on top, boven of the train while Fenix was in his car calling the police.

Fenix: That's right. They're on top, boven of a train, and one of them is an agent of the C.I.E. Please, you've got to help him.
Police: Ok, we'll send some units to try, and stop whoever is killing your friend.

On the train.

Ms. Bonjour: *kicks Con*
Con: *Nearly falls off*
Ms. Bonjour: Au Revoir Mr. Mane.
Con: *Climbs back on*
Ms. Bonjour: Grrr. *Hits Con*
Con: *Punches Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: *lays on roof*
Con: *Kicks Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: Signal!
Con: *gets hit door signal*
Ms. Bonjour: Hahahaha!
Con: *Falls...
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Welcome back, everypony. The last we saw our heroes, they were receiving recognition from the four princesses of Equestria. We then turned to deep within the Everfree Forest, where King Sombra lay dormant. Red Rose, who aided in the killing of King Cobra, brought the news to her fallen fiancee. Queen Chrysalis has allied with King Sombra, and we kom bij them making their way through the forest.

King Sombra: How many do u have in your army, Chrysalis?

Queen Chrysalis: (cackling) Thousands, not including the ones currently hidden within Canterlot and the Chrystal Empire.

King Sombra: Excellent! How...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Dan : but... but... but... JADE!
Jade : hell yea...
Shadow : wait a second... but... u was in Africa
Jade : I heard that guys kicking your ezel soo...
Shadow : oh well...
Dan : but... how... where... WHAAAT!
Jade : no time to lose lets GO!
Yes its her, best double agent in the world, If she wants to kick our corp. asses... she gonna DO IT... but she with us now...
Dan : u right!
Everypony start running to the small hallway and they jump into truck
Jade : GO GO GO!
Driver : *move truck*
The truck goes to the city then to the black alley
Dan : Jade... where w-
Jade : *put gun to Dan Head* shut up! now...
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My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
What is friendship all about?
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
Friendship is magic!
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until u all shared it's magic with me!
When I was young I was too busy to make any friends, some silliness did not seem worth the effort it expands,
but my little ponies. u opened up my eyes,
and now the truth's crystal clear, as splendid as summer skies,
and it's such a wonderful surprise,
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until u all shared it's magic with me!
When danger...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen door Braeburn
Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen by Braeburn
Braeburn was out of the tournament, and was very angry.

Sergi: *parks car*
Braeburn: *walks toward Sergi's car*
Apyr: We got company
Braeburn: *carrying baseball bat*
Sergi: Well, we're outta here *floors it*
Braeburn: Oh no u don't!! *runs to car* Give me your car!!
Sunset Shimmer: No, get lost!
Braeburn: *hits Sunset Shimmer with bat*
Sunset Shimmer: *Knocked Out*
Braeburn: *steals car*

Sergi was driving toward the highway out of Canterlot

Braeburn: *gets behind Sergi*
Apyr: Are u kidding me?
Sergi: What's the matter?
Apyr: Braeburn is following us!
Braeburn: GET BACK HERE!!
Police: *sees car chase*...
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posted by NeonInfernoLord
Funny how a town filled with so much joy could befall to such a deadly game…

It was total darkness in…wherever she was. Her eyes adjusted somewhat to it but as far as she knew she was in a hole. She tried to verplaats but she realized her entire lower body was encased inside of something. It was so snug until the point that she couldn't even feel her lower body.

"H-hello!? Rarity!? Scootaloo!?" Sweetie Belle screamed out but couldn't make anything out in the vacant abyss. She let out little whimpers as another voice rang from her side.

"S-sweetie Belle, I'm right here!" The voice of Scootaloo rang...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh u from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this pony
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are u doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did u do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: u sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony:...
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Hello. I have been hearing from a lot of bronies that Princess Celestia is a troll. There are a lot of reasons to mark that, so I will toon u them.

Reason one: In The Ticket Master, she gave Twilight Sparkle only two tickets when she already knew that she has 5 friends. Twilight Sparkle was stressing out for nothing in the end.

Reason two: When Twilight Sparkle was talking to Princess Celestia about when she banished Luna to the moon, Celestia tried to change the subject, saying, ''Go make some friends!''. This redirected her attention.

Reason three: In the episode Bird In A Hoof, Mrs. Cake...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.

Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: u see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do u think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, u there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a meld of a pony trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria...
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*This story shall be divided into two parts, both of them bearing a similar aspect to the seconde story of Cinderella II: Dreams Come True. I hope that u will all enjoy this. I apologize for it being too long.*

It was a great sunny dag in Ponyville. Everyone was doing their usual business, whether it be doing work, talking to others, of just relaxing their dag away. As we get to the schoolhouse, we see the little colts and fillies come running out of the door. But why? Because school was out for the summer! Everyone there was very happy to leave so they could hang out with each other meer often....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
In case u are wondering, ani is korean for no.

Three old blind stallions were walking alongside a straat to a club. They were all walking with canes making sure they weren't going to hit anything. They kept walking until they saw a pony get in a red sports car. Yes, the stallions were old, but they weren't blind. As the pony was getting in his sports car the stallions shot him. Then they got in a old hearse, and drove away. "One agent down two to go." the driver said. "Who are we killing next?" the oranje stallion asked. "Our volgende target is a yellow Alicorn that lives right here." The driver...
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Stormy: That's enough Discord!!
Discord: nothing is enough for me!
Score: (picks up Nikki and takes her behind some bushes) I'm so sorry Nikki, *sniff* hang on there! (Goes back to fight)
Stormy: Your never gonna get away with this!
Discord: I already got away with this! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Score: Well? What are u waiting for? Stab me if u can.
Discord: Very Well, (picks up Score) ready?
Score: Rea-
Stormy: WAIT!!!!
Score: Stormy?! What are u doing?!?
Stormy: Listen Discord, u are-
Discord: So powerful? So Handsome? So evil?
Stormy: uhhh..no
Discord: Then what am I?
Score: Don't listen to her! Stab me!...
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posted by savana89
"rain bow dash!!!"
"hu pinky? what is it?"
"your sister is back"
"WHAT BUT HOW!!!!"
"i dont know shes coming-(passes out on grond)
"hello dashy my little sister WHO PUT A CURS ON ME AND BAND ME WITH YOUR vrienden but i forgive u now"
"uh.....i missed you?"
"aw i missed u to do u need any help dashy"
"ya can u um(looks aroud) can u clear all the clouds for me?"
"oh yes dashy(flys away)"
"i need to tell that egg head"
LATER
"SPIKE,take a leter"
"ok"
"D-"
"ill do it"
"ok"
"dear princesses, my sister is back u must come save us befor it happens from rain bow"
"hmm that was sort"
"whatever"
"oh dear sister whats going on ARE u SENDING A LETTER TO THE PRINESSES!!!"
"no no not at all(spikes sends the leter) its a letter to my... docter"
"ok dashy ill be back!"
Back with the story......

Pixel: So what u- Ow!
Score: What happen?
Pixel: A stupid TW scratched me...
Score: *gasp* Are u okay?
Pixel: Yea....but it's bleeding..
Score: Don't worry, I know somepony who can help
Pixel: Really? Who?
Score: AZURA!!!
Azura: yes?
Score: Do u have any bandages?
Azura: yes, I do. Do u need some?
Score: Yep

After Azura put some bandages on Pixel, Score explained everything that was happening, and asked him if he wanted to join, he zei he was. Later, Score introduced her vrienden to Pixel.

Brawny: Welcome to the herd brother
Pixel: *laughs*
Stormy: okay, now what?
Cotton Swirls:...
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Greetings, fellow Bronies, it's me again, writing another piece of my thoughts. Today, it's going to be about the stuff made door Hasbro.

That's right! I'm going to tell about the toys! Now, don't get me wrong, I understand why they made them. This toon was targetted to little children, so it was obvious that there were going to be toys based of that. But, that's what it means for me.

I'm not going to condem you, Bronies who have toys of the Mane Six and others, but I'm going to talk about my opinion about it.

For me, it's a little akward to see grown men playing with 5 Centimeter long bright colored...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by karinabrony
Source: Equestria Daily