Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic regenboog as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican pony 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican pony 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, kers-, cherry bombs, of sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me u guys have a paswoord for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican pony 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the seconde Mexican pony* Get your ezel over here.
Mexican pony 2: *Walks toward Mexican pony 1*
Mexican pony 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican pony 1: *Pushes Mexican pony 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when u get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the douche with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure u get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the douche this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me u idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, u wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! u couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, of fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent u in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet u brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As u all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: u want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 jaar Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't u lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 jaar Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do u care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has u brain washed.
16 jaar Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 jaar Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and u kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 jaar Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If u don't like reality, why don't u just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 jaar Old Colt: Ugh, u suck! *Runs 100 miles an uur to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got lost at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a pizza with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire top, boven of the pizza to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell u where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* u ready? Jenny, I want u to start writing this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let u out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her dogs have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick of treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, u are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because u dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's uithangbord where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit door the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic regenboog as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican pony 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican pony 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, kers-, cherry bombs, of sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me u guys have a paswoord for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican pony 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the seconde Mexican pony* Get your ezel over here.
Mexican pony 2: *Walks toward Mexican pony 1*
Mexican pony 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican pony 1: *Pushes Mexican pony 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when u get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the douche with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure u get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the douche this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me u idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, u wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! u couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, of fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent u in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet u brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As u all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: u want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 jaar Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't u lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 jaar Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do u care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has u brain washed.
16 jaar Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 jaar Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and u kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 jaar Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If u don't like reality, why don't u just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 jaar Old Colt: Ugh, u suck! *Runs 100 miles an uur to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got lost at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a pizza with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire top, boven of the pizza to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell u where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* u ready? Jenny, I want u to start writing this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let u out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her dogs have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick of treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, u are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because u dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's uithangbord where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit door the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
This is from Spike and Twilight's duet which can be found here: link
I was prepared to do my best
Thought I could handle any test
For I can do so many tricks
But I wasn't prepared for this
Levitation would have been a breeze
Facts and figures I recite with ease
(Twily: The square root of 546 is 23.36664289109
Math Pony: She is correct!)
I know all about friendship's bliss
But I wasn't prepared for this
Will I fail of will I pass,
I can't be sure (She can't be sure)
My mind is charged with skills intact
My hart-, hart is pure (her hart-, hart is pure)
Oh, I've taken my share of licks
I've made it through the thin and thick
But no, I wasn't (no she wasn't)
Oh no I wasn't (oh no she wasn't)
No I wasn't prepared for this
I was prepared to do my best
Thought I could handle any test
For I can do so many tricks
But I wasn't prepared for this
Levitation would have been a breeze
Facts and figures I recite with ease
(Twily: The square root of 546 is 23.36664289109
Math Pony: She is correct!)
I know all about friendship's bliss
But I wasn't prepared for this
Will I fail of will I pass,
I can't be sure (She can't be sure)
My mind is charged with skills intact
My hart-, hart is pure (her hart-, hart is pure)
Oh, I've taken my share of licks
I've made it through the thin and thick
But no, I wasn't (no she wasn't)
Oh no I wasn't (oh no she wasn't)
No I wasn't prepared for this
