Most Funny Quote ever?

"I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse."

It's not really a quote, but it used to be my motto. Oh well. *shrug*

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid"

In my opinion is true X3

"See no shit, hear no shit, take no shit.:)"

From Fruits Basket:

Shigure: ♪High school girls, high school girls! All for me! High school girls!♪

SCREW THE MONEY I HAVE RULES

...wait let me try that again

:D

When I was born I was so surprised that I didn't talk for a jaar and a half.
--Gracie Allen

Looks like the rules... just got screwed

driver picks the muziek shotgun shuts his cakehole - dean winchester

"I lay in bed looking up at the stars and a thought comes to me; where the heck is the ceiling?"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like Grandfather did. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only u can feel the warm feeling it brings."

imma get a job as a walmart greeter ,my words of welcome will be..."Welcome to freaking walmart! Get ur sh*t and get the hell out!!"
OR...........
4RM TVDS BOOKS

(throwing a boom out of a forest in a wild display of power)
Damon; I didn't like it there anyway.

.....OR...........
(denying the attack of Vickie Bennett)
ELENA; The cemetery, remember? The ruined church? The girl u left wandering around there in her slip?
DAMON; Sorry, no. And I usually do remember girls I leave wandering in their slips

city of fallen angel
*simon* is this one of those keep your vrienden close but enimys closer things?
*jace* i thought the saying was keep your vrienden close so u have someone to drive the car when u sneak over to their house at night and throw up in their mail box
*simon* i'm pretty sure thats not it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TVD
*damon* dont talk now
*tyler* screw u dude
*damon* dude really dude.
*stefan* damon don't
*damon* o c'mon whose gonna miss this idiot
lololololololol :D

"This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."-Real Genius (An 80s movie)

[after many takes - and many spoonfuls of Vitameatavegamin (containing alcohol)]
Lucy Ricardo: Well, I'm your Vitavigavegivat Girl. Are u tired, run down, listless? Do u pop out at parties? Are u unpoopular?
[pause]
Lucy Ricardo: Well, are you? The answer to all your problems is in this little ol' bottle, Vitameatavegamin.
[Checks the bottle label]
Lucy Ricardo: That's it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megetables and vinerals. So why don't u kom bij the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitaveatyvemeanyminimoe. I'll tell u what u have to do. u have to take a whole tablespoonful after every meal. It's so tasty too. It's just like candy.
[Takes a bit of time, if not too much, trying to sample the liquid. Finally... ]
Lucy Ricardo: So everybody get a bottle of...
[pointing at the bottle]
Lucy Ricardo: this stuff.
-I Love Lucy

Trust me on this, but I Love Lucy is one of the funniest shows ever


"The clinic doctor just got stabbed in the parking lot and we're out of gauze. Is it cool if i take lunch?" "This place is crushing my soul"- Random clinic nurse and Elliot from Scrubs

vv this is pretty funny too

"NEVER underestimate the power of your own stupidity."
One of my vrienden zei this after trying to jump over somebody in the parking lot, and ended up with a bruised foot, sprained thumb, and most of the skin scraped off both knees.
"WHY ARE u WEARING PANTS?!"
A guy in my class blurted this out after seeing my other friend wearing jeans when it was 80 degrees outside.

My motto-Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag u down to his level and beat u with experience.
favoriete my friend told me-Well,aren't we a straal, ray of fucking sunshine.
My favorite-The last thing I want to do is hurt you.But it's still on the list.

"The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object."

From my boyfriend. We were talking about writing (I love writing stories and such) and he said,
"My writing is like stabbing the English language repeatedly until it cries painful tears and wishes I had no command over it."
I had a true lmao moment after that one. XD

*Total Drama World Tour*
Noah: Haha! Cody has a tiny sausage!
Cody; At least my team has a sausage!

*One I've heard some-where*
I can be spontaneous! Just as long as it's in a controled enviorment....