This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern dag issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Love of hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years geleden were blacks gegeven the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married of adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube of in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, of in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in love should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no meer discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of advice is welcome, as long as u aren't telling me to jump off a cliff of anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Love of hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years geleden were blacks gegeven the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married of adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube of in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, of in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in love should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no meer discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of advice is welcome, as long as u aren't telling me to jump off a cliff of anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
hallo babe sittin there
u dont see my sitting behind your chair
Im staring a at u and u butt
and on the back of your leg there is a cut
u got it shaving in the douche
i watched u threw the window for meer then a hour
i saw u fighting with your mom
about your newest stepdad Tom.
Now u saw me just my hat.
Now u hit me with a bat.
Ow is all that i can say.
But i still stalk u anyway.
I see u with your boyfriend.
But does he know it is the end.
I stab his back with a knife.
Now u both are screaming for your life.
And just cuz i feel like it and that is true.
I take out i mes and stab u to.
Now that i've stalked her today.
Im coming for u so run away.
u dont see my sitting behind your chair
Im staring a at u and u butt
and on the back of your leg there is a cut
u got it shaving in the douche
i watched u threw the window for meer then a hour
i saw u fighting with your mom
about your newest stepdad Tom.
Now u saw me just my hat.
Now u hit me with a bat.
Ow is all that i can say.
But i still stalk u anyway.
I see u with your boyfriend.
But does he know it is the end.
I stab his back with a knife.
Now u both are screaming for your life.
And just cuz i feel like it and that is true.
I take out i mes and stab u to.
Now that i've stalked her today.
Im coming for u so run away.
1. Steal Edwards ipod and fill it with nothing but Rap and fill Emmetts with classical.
2.Pay a couple of guys to say 'ew' at Rosalie.
3.Tell Rosalie that Alice is pregnant.
4.Fill Edwards closet with nothing but Team Jacob shirts.
5.Break all the mirrors in Rosalies room, tell her that her face did it.
6.Call Jasper 'chill pill'.
7.Sell Edwards piano.
8.Get all the Cullen's stuff out of their rooms and then throw it over the line.
9.Smash Edwards CD's and then say there was a spider.
10.Pretend that u can see the future and that u can read minds, when Edward of Alice say that they can laugh at them.
11.Call Edward a stalker.
12.Tell Bella that Edward is going to leave.....then say just kidding.
13.Read Twilight infront of them...and hate it.
2.Pay a couple of guys to say 'ew' at Rosalie.
3.Tell Rosalie that Alice is pregnant.
4.Fill Edwards closet with nothing but Team Jacob shirts.
5.Break all the mirrors in Rosalies room, tell her that her face did it.
6.Call Jasper 'chill pill'.
7.Sell Edwards piano.
8.Get all the Cullen's stuff out of their rooms and then throw it over the line.
9.Smash Edwards CD's and then say there was a spider.
10.Pretend that u can see the future and that u can read minds, when Edward of Alice say that they can laugh at them.
11.Call Edward a stalker.
12.Tell Bella that Edward is going to leave.....then say just kidding.
13.Read Twilight infront of them...and hate it.
