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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall uithangbord and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconden and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10.Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11.Say, "Interesting... meer floaters than sinkers."

12.Using a small squeeze tube, spread pinda boter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall uithangbord of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could u kick that back over here please?"

13.Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

14.Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while u squeeze the balloon and splatter cream maïs all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the restaurant's coffee u had for breakfast.

15.Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

16.Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

17.Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

18.Before u unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

19.Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so u can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

20.Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall uithangbord and sing "Born Free".

21.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

22.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Darn, I almost made it!'

23.Wash u hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

24.Wear paper towels wrapped around your head and pretend you're Erykah Badu.

25.Write on the uithangbord of a women's bathroom 'Tom was here.' 'In the men's bathroom write 'Michael Jackson was here.'

26.Ask a person in the stall volgende to u for a tampon.

27.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

28.For a woman, stand in front of the toilet. For men, sit down in the stall and pee.

29.Scream 'Ohh it burns!' as u use the bathroom.

30.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that u can't get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.

31.Introduce yourself to the guy at the volgende urinal.

32.Turn the light off while stalls are occupied.

33.Stick your head over an occupied stall and ask for the time.

34.Tell people that they're on TV. Point to some random spot on the far uithangbord and ask them to "smile for the camera".

35.Lie down across all the sinks and pretend to be passed out.

36.Use a stopwatch to time people going to the bathroom. Cheer them on to encourage good performance.

37.Hold your hand in front of a hand dryer while someone's using it.

38.Pour a bucket of water over an occupied stall.

39.Grab someone's ezel really hard while they're using a urinal, and see how far u can get before they catch you.

40.Guard the paper towel dispenser in the name of the Earth Liberation Front.

41.Say to the guy at the volgende urinal: "This is the best part about being gay."

42.Say, "Huh, that's funny. I don't remember eating asparagus."

43.Turn off the faucet while someone's washing their hands. Repeat.

44.Pee on someone's leg and tell them it's raining.

45.Offer to blow-dry other people's hands with your mouth to save energy.

46.Point at someone's crotch while they're using a urinal and yell, "Ha ha, your fly is down!"

47.Put on a hand puppet toon underneath the stall volgende to you.

48.Complain about the size of your penis.

49.While inside the bathroom, ask where the nearest bathroom is. After you've received a puzzled look of response, reply, "I'm not looking for a toilet, u moron, I'm looking for a bathroom. Haven't u ever taken a bath? Apparently not. No wonder it smells like shit in here."

50.Demand to know where the glory holes are.

51.Walk up behind someone who's using a urinal and inpakken, wrap his head in toilet paper.

52.Ask a friend to help u stage a live audio performance of a violent mugging for your unwitting audience inside the stalls. Make sure the final line of dialogue is, "You come out of there and I'll blow your fucking head off."

53.Inside a stall, pretend to be talking to a young child, "That's right Johnny, remember what I told u about unzipping your fly? Oh, now look what u did!" Then slap your hands twice and make crying noises.

54.Hang a realistic dummy from a noose inside one of the stalls as a wacky surprise for the volgende visitor.

55.Knock on the stall volgende to u and say, "Do u have enough toilet paper in there? I got plenty if u need some."

56.Put up a sign above the sink that says "Did u remember to wipe?"

57.In a restaurant, put up a sign that says, "This is the legally required 'Employees must wash hands' sign which we disregard on a daily basis."

58.Put up a sign that says "Caution: please do not use toilets."

59.Fill the liquid soap containers with motor oil.

60.Have (mobile) phone sex while standing at a urinal.

61.Flash people standing just outside the bathroom door. Tell them that you've finally "found the loophole".

62.Pump soap for people, give out paper towels, and demand tips.

63.Wear a camera around your neck and offer to take people's foto's for money.

64.When the bathroom is empty, get down on your hands and knees and hold your face over one of the urinals. Wait in that position until someone enters the bathroom. Act as if you're embarrassed to be caught.

65.Whisper, "Now spread your legs, honey. Oh yeah, that's it."

66.Drop a small, unclothed, plastic baby doll in a toilet, along with an ample supply of red food coloring.

67.Identify people who have not washed their hands. Follow them out of the bathroom and publicly announce this fact.

68.Congratulate yourself aloud on a job well done.

69.Put Vaseline on the toilet seats

70.Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.

71.Ask the person in the volgende stall if there's
anything swimming in THEIR bowl.....

72.Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"

73.Pretend to fall in, complete with sound effects.

74.Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy....

75.Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.

76.Fake an orgasm.

77.Collect a door charge.

78.Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.

79.Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.

80.Remove stall doors.

81.Place signs warning of 24 uur video surveillance.

82.Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.

83.Put itching powder on the toilet seats.

84.Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.

85.Replace soap in dispenser with custard.

86.Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).

87.When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with u and when someone is volgende to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall uithangbord and say "You got any meer toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

88.Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.

89.Start a sing-a-long.

90.Act schizophrenically.

91.Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.

92.Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"

93.Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"

94.Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python

95.Offer refreshments.

96.Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"

97.Bring a bottle of fake blood of ketchup with you, and while in the stall, in a loud, demonical voice, exclaim "Satan demands a sacrifice... A SACRIFICE!" Start making groaning sounds and let loose a blood curling scream. Then let the blood/ketchup flow on the floor for everyone to see.

98.Look over the edge to the person at the urinal volgende to you, giggle, and then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a Small World After All."

99.Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if u are okay, just say that u had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting negatively with your stomach.

100.Walk in a man. Come out a woman. Complain that there are men in the bathroom.

101.Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching, complaining about how dizzy u are.
posted by Windrises
Notes: Credit goes to the creators and owners of Game of Thrones. This fan story is meant for comedy so please don't take it seriously.

Sansa Stark walked outside the kingdom. It was late in the morning, but she was already tired.

Tyrion walked to her and zei "How's it going?"

She zei "Bad and I won't tell u why." Tyrion could tell she was in a bad mood so he walked away.

She felt like talking to nobody, but Jon Snow showed up. She growled.

Jon Snow zei "I have sad news. Grand Maester Pycelle got killed."

She sarcastically zei "I'm going to miss that creepy old guy."

Jon zei "Sister...
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Why on earth did I stop last time.. Season 3 is friggin awesome.. I clearly wasn't patient enough last time..

PLOT:
Walter wishes to reunite his family, but Skyler is still suspicious of Walter's seconde life. Walter believes he can mend the tension between them door confessing to her that he has been producing meth. Skyler is appalled door the confession and demands a formal divorce. Meanwhile, Gus offers to pay Walter US$3M for three months of his service. He even offers to provide Walter with a state-of-the-art production facility and a brilliant lab assistant, Gale (David Costabile). Jesse is...
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Picture this. You're a newspaper boy in the 1880's and your headlines just don't seem to be selling as well as they used to. Therefore, your company decides to change things up and start lying just a LITTLE bit.

...Well, at least of your definition of lying a LITTLE bit is completely changing the titel of your papers to something amusing and spreading misinformation just to rake in meer cash from the public. And mine is!

So today, people. We're going to go dive headfirst into the world of clickbait. But first and foremost, the most important vraag of them all.

What exactly IS clickbait?

Basically...
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Are u bored? Do u have the humor of a 10 jaar old boy? Do u like muziek that doesn't have a real point? Do u like muziek that will make your grandma look at u with disappointment in her eyes!? If u answered yes to any of these vragen then here is a lijst for you. Swigity Swoogity here comes muziek about that booty!

Black Eye'd Peas - My Hump
Big Sean - Dance
Jason Derulo - Wiggle
Dev - Booty Bounce
Bubba Sparxxx - Mrs New Booty
I Can't Wait For The Booty (Disney/Mrs New Booty)
Under The Booty (Disney/Mrs New Booty Mashup)
John hart-, hart - Who Booty
Ugly God - Booty From A Distance
Ugly God -...
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added by PsychoTeddy
Source: Sugar Glider
added by shaneoohmac13
posted by alexischaos2004
Greetings, my name is Alexis. Welcome to my world of rants. Today's rant is about Youtube and the major fuckups that dwell there. So, kom bij me on this marvelous cyber adventure, as we'll encounter monsters such as Devon Sweeney, Sam Pepper, and the legendary Tupac of Youtube.


Ah... Youtube. You're one of my favoriete websites in the entire history of the internet. The content u toon me is truly enlightening. I always watch the videos u have on display... It's just the best experience that anyone could ever ask for. I love you, Youtube.


WELL NOT ENTIRELY! This video sharing website may be one...
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(Let's get this out of the way right now. If you're taking this artikel even remotely seriously, then u probably aren't as smart as u think u are. Enjoy! XD)

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul." -Elder Uchtdorf

The desire to create actual GOOD content though is a completely different story, it'd seem. So get out'cher popcorn, soda, and whatever the hell else humanity gives people nowadays, because I'm about to teach your pathetic lowlifes how to make a good Fanpop article! ^_^

(Safety Not Guaranteed o_O)

First off, u need to think of a good title. Y'know,...
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#1: BLACK FIN:
30 years ago, Seaworld wasn't exactly at it's brightest of lights. As a film known as "Black Fin" reveals the tragic truth of the largest known, captive Orca.. tilikum.
The film reveals Tilikum was captured near Iceland in November of 1983, over 30 years ago. At only 2 years old, when he was approximately 13 feet long, he was torn away from his family and ocean home.
And, long story short, he might of been bullied door the other Orcas.
This eventually leading to Tilikum killing 3 trainers.
The most famish being the violent death of Dawn Brancheau.
It's believed Tilikum was acting very...
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posted by TheMagicLoki
I just released an update stating that I would not include video games in the schildpad Sandwiches... then someone suggested a video game. So I started thinking once again and I came to the conclusion that saying video games were going to be part of it and then not having them be part of it was really annoying. Sorry for changing this and then immediately unchanging part of the change, but I'm fairly confident in this even newerly new setup, and hopeful that it will work permanently. So here is the new schedule that will not change:
posted by TheMagicLoki
Unfortunately, I have been caught up in other issues for the past week and there is thus no new schildpad belegd broodje, sandwich this week. But I am writing this to establish many things, seeing as although I didn't have much "doing stuff" time, I had plenty of time to think.

1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought meer about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between films and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch films far meer often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.

I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city u might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make meer time for this in the future.
added by shaneoohmac13
added by shaneoohmac13
posted by PeacefulCritic
Major Spoilers Alert
Happy Halloweenish everyone!Today I’m going to review a very nostalgia Halloween classic for me. That’s very unique to say the least, Caroline of Coraline whichever one u prefer to call it. So let’s get to it, starting with the story.

Story:
The story stars a certain blue haired girl named Coraline who isn't amused of her new life in Oregon.Then suddenly she comes across a mysterious, small door that opens to a whole new world. This other world is very much to fit what Coraline wishes her life to be like, but she is unaware of the dark secrets within the new world.There’s...
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added by tanyya
posted by Hades_Shadow
For all Wreck-it Ralph fans out there, here is a club I made here to create and play as your own character from any of the games in the Movie! So far we have the Games of Fix-it Felix Jr., Sugar Rush, and Heroes Duty! I would have just made a link but it would not add it here, so here it is!

To those who stumble on this article, Welcome! This will be the Role Play for those who love the Movie Wreck-It Ralph. This page itself is for u to game jump. u can share things with different characters, go try your luck in another game, and mainly to make friends. There will be a couple rules, but...
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posted by kicksomebut23
DO IT!!! JUST....DO IT!

Don't let others stop u from your dreams. Don't ever give up reaching your dreams . Don't never EVER give up! JUST...DO IT!
Don't be afraid to climb higher than others In the mountain. Don't be afraid to be yourself. JUST...DO IT! Be yourself and stand up for what u believe. Express yourself. Don't become a faker. Don't follow others and try to be like them because if u do....you will be giving less respect and lose confidence. If u Like Anime, boeken , A Certain Artist, of whatever....love it because its u and your opinion. Don't make others change u and stop...
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posted by slenderman777
Item #: SCP-509

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-509-A and SCP-509-B are both to be contained on-site, due to their immobility. Each is to be cordoned off, and any members of the public turned away. Outside of research and maintenance purposes, no humans of pigs, living of dead, are to be allowed into either structure. Personnel may safely enter and leave SCP-509-A and SCP-509-B within four minuten of activation and while inactive.

After testing, any living humans recovered from SCP-509-B are to be trained as Level 0 personnel and assigned to minimal security positions. Personnel...
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added by 3xZ
When I was ten, I played a late night game of flashlight tag with a bunch of neighborhood kids. If u don't know what flashlight tag is, it's the same as tag, but u play it in the dark, the person who's "it" gets a flashlight, and they have to yell the name of the person they see with it in order to "tag" them. It was really cloudy that night, and most people had their curtains drawn, so it was the perfect level of darkness for hiding in.

The side of the straat my house was on was skirted door a broad length of woods. That was basically the boundary for our side of the game. u could run through...
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