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One day, I was walking on the sidewalk on Walden Lane. It was 5:00 in the morning in Lakeland, Florida, and the sun was just coming up. I was whistling "Celebrate Good Times" while dancing a jig. All of a sudden, A guy zoomed down the sidewalk on his bike with his arm out, and smacked me in the face. I fell to the ground from the impact, my face throbbing.
"Watch where your going, jerk!" I yelled, clambering up and waving my fist at him. He turned, laughing at me, but then he peddled into the road and a semi truck zoomed past, almost hitting the guy. I gasped, thinking that he had been hit....
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posted by kinga10111
1
Your right lung is smaller than your left lung to make room for your heart.

No piece of square dry paper can be folded meer than 7 times in half!

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!

Over 2500 left handed people a jaar are killed from using products made for right handed people!

There are meer than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!

If u counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

A krokodil always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

The sun is 330,330 times...
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1 Beg your mom and dad to buy u something

2 Sing a song from your favoriete artist (If u like the movie limonade Mouth sing songs from them too)

3 Push a shopping kar, winkelwagen into the check out lines

4 Throw items in your shopping kar, winkelwagen that u don't need

5 Talk really loud so everyone can hear you

6 Walk behind your parents and act like u don't know them

7 Go up to random people and say "Hi"

8 Babble like an idiot

9 Say your favoriete show's title's name

10 Talk about your favoriete TV toon idol of singer
posted by smileypop9
1
When I don't understand a word, I always go to link to see their silly definitions before I consult an actual dictionary.
I spent some time searching up words, and some of the definitions were hilarious! So here ya go, some of the definitions I found interesting/funny:

link
There's a lot of definitions. My fave one is:
'A place where young, innocent, defencless children are kept prisoner and forced to learn useless stuff like algebra that won't count for fuck when they're old enough to get employed....
multiply out the brackets...
2a(3m+2p+12k-12-90)
...would someone like to explain to me...WHAT...
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posted by invadercalliope
2
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIII
IIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
OMG ITS THE FIRSTT EPISOE OF CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
IF YOUR WONDERING I ATE TONS AN TONS OF SUGER TODAY YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Now todays topic is....MUSIC!
Today i will be talking about MUSIC!
Well gir and the doom song is a big hit its on the top, boven 100's isn't that amazing!
Another person i like is Marilyn Manson!
I like is Skillet!
Now lets talk about a thing i wrote!
Pokemon Pick Peaches!
Well thats it with todays episode of the calliope channel and enjoy the random picture i posted!
SEEEE YA
The End
posted by TeamSongz4eva
2
Pros

* No one can overhear your conversation
* Can get away with it while your Phone is on silent
* the use of smileys
* helps improve use of keyboard (in my opinion)
* can do it whenever
* takes the place of fone calls


Cons
* nosy peeps may read over your shoulder
* some people just dont know how to spell
* parent dont get why us teens are so addicted to this
*the person u texted doesnt reply till the volgende day:((



ok this was my first own idea artikel and i wanna know if u would still like a look inside my mind on what i think about things<33

TheBee
posted by ky-chan
2
First, if u don't know what Scribblenauts is - google it. RIGHT NOW!

If u DO know what it is...I shall continue, of rather, u shall continue to read...anyways, I got the newest game of Scribblenauts (called Super Scribblenauts) which allows u to not only make even meer unimaginable things, but also change its size, colour, texture, mood and status (ie. flying, angry...)

The following was what my little cousin and I thought up (don't kill me please...).


First (no wait...I already put that...) okay, uhh...after starting up the game I changed my avatar from Maxwell to the Goth Chick and went...
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posted by shomill
6
M R snakes.
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!

-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:

Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.

-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.

And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banaan who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banaan who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
banaan who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
oranje who?
oranje u glad I didn't say banaan again?

Hope u had fun!
posted by RaydKaydiroxs
5
1. during health class ask them if its natural to have pimples on your butt

2. during phys. ed. when the teacher says any meer vragen say " why does my dogs breath smell like dog food"

3. slip a dollar on your test and write thanks for the A+ love (your name)

4. use your cell phone during class and when the teacher tells u to bring it there say wait wait i really need to take this call and when they try to talk again say shhh shhh

5. put posters in the drug ed. room that says lets get drunk... if u dont have a drug ed room they can go around the school too.

6. start eating pop tarts in class...
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Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you. Boy: Ok... Girl: What do u mean "ok"? Boy: I don't like u like that... Girl: Why not? Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time... From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell u later. Finally the girl got fed up. Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why u don't like me! Boy: Do u really wanna know why? Girl: Yes! Boy: It's because you're uglier than freaking crap! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!...
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posted by karpach_13
8
A is for the automobile which he doesn't own.

B is also for brain, which was located between his legs.

C is for the commitment that was never there.

D is for the dildo he didn't know I had.

E is for ego. His was bigger than a hot air balloon.

F is for his faithfulness, as long as there wasn't something of someone better to do.

G is also for the spot he could never find!

H is for laughter (HA! HA!) the last sound he heard from me as he was walking out the door.

I is for impotent which is what I told everyone he was.

J is for jugular, the one I'd love to sever.

K is for kinky, he always started without...
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posted by kitkat709477
6
"I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"That's women's work," REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."
"Will u marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my room mates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no meer pinda butter."
"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and u have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea...
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posted by blaise_jez
6
Q .. Did u here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A .. She missed.

Q .. What do u do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A .. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q .. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A .. From crawling across the straat when the sign zei "don't walk".

Q .. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A .. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q .. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A .. She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q .. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A .. The cow fell on her.




Q .. What does a blonde say when u ask her if her blinker is on?
A .. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1
1. Stick your palm open under the stall uithangbord and ask your
neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconden and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh
relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large...
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posted by yashar_safavi
2
# Attend at least one major sporting event: the Super Bowl, the Olympics, the U.S. Open.

# Throw a huge party and invite every one of your friends.

# Swim with a dolphin.

# Skydive.

# Have your portrait painted.

# Learn to speak a foreign language and make sure u use it.

# Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France.

# Watch the launch of the space shuttle.

# Spend a whole dag eating rommel, ongewenste food without feeling guilty.

# Be an extra in a film.

# Tell someone the story of your life, sparing no details.

# Make love on a forest floor.

# Make love on a train.

# Learn to rollerblade.

# Own a room with...
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posted by Rock_n_Roll671
1
Okay, I;m not saying u should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the commentaren which ones you're going to try out.
__________________________________________________

1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz u hate America."

3. When u go to the princible's office, and when he asks why u were sent, say, "I wrote that u sucked...
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posted by boomerlover
3
Impossible to Please

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor door floor, and once u find what u are looking for, u can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling u what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The vrienden laugh and without hesitation...
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Did u really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be meer than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special dag
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that dag
there was lots to be zei
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When u zei "I love you"
I zei "I love u too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be meer
What if I did...
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posted by milorox18
3
Some are lighthearted‚ some are serious‚ all are very true.
Here are some of them:

-Don't drink druif sap while wearing a white overhemd, shirt and driving to school.

-Don't let your life wait for other people.

-Dropping a cell phone into a full bathtub‚ kind of kills the phone.

-Your mom will find out if u dye your hair purple.

-You haven't really lives until you've gotten a 48 on an Advanced Placement U.S. History test.

-Don't ever fall in love with someone who is meer than a thousand miles away from you. It usually doesn't work out.

-Milk cartons make boring pets.

-If it hurts‚ DON'T DO IT AGAIN!...
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A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P



At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.