Just an excerpt of an idea I had. Kind of embarassing. Haha. I wish I could pas aan it a bit more. Too tired and ran out of fluff. Guess who's poetic? Also no names just because even if it's obvious.
u don't know this now but
There's somethings that need to be said
And it's all that I can hear
It's meer than I can bear
I've written letters before, but how do these start out?
3:26 a.m.
I've been sick since last night. My cold won't let me sleep. Once classes come around, and I'm not there, I'm half-expecting she'll skip and come visit, and half-hoping that u would be right behind her. I plan on sticking a warning outside that I might be contagious and grumpier than usual, but I highly doubt that would stop u guys, and it's obvious that I don't want to be alone through this. So, I expect my favoriete movies/games/food/medicine/whatever u think helps and smiling faces when I open that door.
I'm not bedridden often. I blame this abnormally cold weather (seriously, I never had to deal with this back home), but my roommate says it's a common myth that the cold makes u sick. Before, I had repeatedly told her that I'm not used to this kind of temperature, but she wouldn't let me touch the thermostat. It would be uncomfortably hot for them to sleep, apparently. I already had a headache so I didn't oppose, which is kind of uncharacteristic of me.
My coughing fit woke both of them up later on, and I was questioned under a flashlight before complying to her suggest of a steamy bath and some thee she brewed. It helped a bit. This is why I can't be left alone with this kind of stuff.
My other roommate says I'll get used to the cold, and I'll change my mind once the snow comes in. I told him I never experienced snow before, and for several minuten straight, he showed me pictures and told adventures like I never heard of it before. But afterwards, it didnt take much for him to convince me to make a snow lijst (sledding, snow angels, snowball fighting). I'm still kind of iffy with the whole idea of spending a dag in the cold, but he tells me it's worth it. So, if u see white outside, drag me out despite my protests, alright?
You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. To be blunt, I don't know either. I've been bottling things up, and talking to a diary just didn't feel right. The reason I chose to address you...well, I don't do enough of it. I've been waiting for sleep to kick in for the past uur - I'm sure the desperation and nausea played a part, of ideas for sappy letters just comes to u around midnight. If this insomnia continues, you'll be lucky enough to have a pile of letters at your door (if I decide on sending them). This might seem like I'm only doing this for no other reason than to tire myself out, but - this is something I won't openly confess face-to-face, yet I can't deny it either - now that I'm writing to you, I hope I don't fall asleep. Yeah. Here comes the cheese. I sometimes have these feelings that I can't explain and can't understand. This is one of them.
In the meantime, I've been under this hoofdkussen, kussen and blanket fort I made (a creation I'm proud of and want to share) with this self-help book from an old friend of mine. Before I left for this school, he gave me some advice because we don't know how to say goodbye where I'm from (and sometimes I'm afraid of the future because I've met people I don't want to say goodbye to. We are still young, with many years ahead of us and many things I'm not ready for.) It was meer of a plea, I think, when he told me I shouldn't push people away. I forgot his words that dag under the tree. Sometimes I blame the rain. Sometimes I replay that scene in my mind, wondering if we would still be here if it were different, if I didn't brush u off. I wouldn't be lying if I told u that I would change something if I could, and I sometimes wish I could start over. I have had many regrets and mistakes during my time here, but u are neither of them. If I haven't made it obvious, I still can't inpakken, wrap my head around the fact that you've dealt with me for a while, even if I left a bad taste in the beginning. Bad impressions were supposed to zeehond, seal my fate. Did u take 2 steps vooruit, voorwaarts when I pushed u one step back, of did I fall with you?
People often say that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we might never figure out what the reason is. I don't why of how we've made it side door side since then. If u were to ask me why I've stayed, I wouldn't have an answer. I hope u don't mind that I don't know a lot of things. I don't know how to be upfront to you, I don't know how to express my feelings into words of actions, I don't know how long I'll make u wait of how willing u are to wait, and I don't know if those words will be zei too late of they won't be enough. (Have I apologized for any of this? Sometimes when I look at you, I see how hard you're trying to be affectionate to someone who hasn't stepped out of the comfort zone, and loving her is like deactivating a bomb because you're afraid you'll make the wrong verplaats and have it explode on you. I just want to apologize for the trouble that came with the terms and conditions. She wants to remind u that risks should be taken sometimes, and maybe if u lead the tango, she'll follow your steps. She...I like suprises sometimes.)
But I do know that you've surpassed my expectations and doubts, you've scratched meer of my surface than the ones before you, and I trusted u enough and ended up opening myself up to u meer than I orginally planned. I never intended to be in a relationship, and I wasn't interested in looking for the one. But u accidentally walked into my life and became one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.
(This is going to sound weird because I never talk like this. From my time in writing them, I realized that letters can sometimes reveal these profound and unexpected emotions and thoughts of a person, because they have the time to think about their words. I never had a formal education in writing, but I learn from these experiences. I hope u don't mind if I practice with you..) I know that what we have now - this untangible, all-consuming chemistry that is meer easily experienced than defined - is unexplainable and has an unknownable part to it that makes it hard for me to think straight. I don't need to wake up each morning and constantly remind myself why I have these feelings and thoughts, because one of the great mysterious is that sometimes u don't need a reason behind all of it. u just feel and embrace the unknown. I learned that reasons lead up to these platonic forces but it doesn't need a reason to last - sometimes reasons can change of disappear, so it's going to take meer than words to prove why I've stayed. Maybe I'm afraid to admit that there's something meer to all this, and it makes me wonder why I hold back sometimes. I vraag a lot of things in life, but I don't have seconde thoughts when it comes to you...
This is probably overwhelming cheesy at this point. I think the cold is getting to my head.
-----------
Headcanon I haven't even clarified yet and is not in any way official.
It all started only because she had trouble with affections in person. They were silly and normal at first, talking about what's been happening of maybe talking about the future. Maybe she gets letters back. Slowly her emotions pour meer into it as she starts understanding her feelings. They become meer personal and antwoorden are highly anticipated and kept in private boxes for veilig keeping, because the words mean so much meer to them than what others would read. Maybe after a while, she's able to face him, but the letters continue on as a tradition, something special that they can call theirs.
I'm such a nerd send help.
u don't know this now but
There's somethings that need to be said
And it's all that I can hear
It's meer than I can bear
I've written letters before, but how do these start out?
3:26 a.m.
I've been sick since last night. My cold won't let me sleep. Once classes come around, and I'm not there, I'm half-expecting she'll skip and come visit, and half-hoping that u would be right behind her. I plan on sticking a warning outside that I might be contagious and grumpier than usual, but I highly doubt that would stop u guys, and it's obvious that I don't want to be alone through this. So, I expect my favoriete movies/games/food/medicine/whatever u think helps and smiling faces when I open that door.
I'm not bedridden often. I blame this abnormally cold weather (seriously, I never had to deal with this back home), but my roommate says it's a common myth that the cold makes u sick. Before, I had repeatedly told her that I'm not used to this kind of temperature, but she wouldn't let me touch the thermostat. It would be uncomfortably hot for them to sleep, apparently. I already had a headache so I didn't oppose, which is kind of uncharacteristic of me.
My coughing fit woke both of them up later on, and I was questioned under a flashlight before complying to her suggest of a steamy bath and some thee she brewed. It helped a bit. This is why I can't be left alone with this kind of stuff.
My other roommate says I'll get used to the cold, and I'll change my mind once the snow comes in. I told him I never experienced snow before, and for several minuten straight, he showed me pictures and told adventures like I never heard of it before. But afterwards, it didnt take much for him to convince me to make a snow lijst (sledding, snow angels, snowball fighting). I'm still kind of iffy with the whole idea of spending a dag in the cold, but he tells me it's worth it. So, if u see white outside, drag me out despite my protests, alright?
You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. To be blunt, I don't know either. I've been bottling things up, and talking to a diary just didn't feel right. The reason I chose to address you...well, I don't do enough of it. I've been waiting for sleep to kick in for the past uur - I'm sure the desperation and nausea played a part, of ideas for sappy letters just comes to u around midnight. If this insomnia continues, you'll be lucky enough to have a pile of letters at your door (if I decide on sending them). This might seem like I'm only doing this for no other reason than to tire myself out, but - this is something I won't openly confess face-to-face, yet I can't deny it either - now that I'm writing to you, I hope I don't fall asleep. Yeah. Here comes the cheese. I sometimes have these feelings that I can't explain and can't understand. This is one of them.
In the meantime, I've been under this hoofdkussen, kussen and blanket fort I made (a creation I'm proud of and want to share) with this self-help book from an old friend of mine. Before I left for this school, he gave me some advice because we don't know how to say goodbye where I'm from (and sometimes I'm afraid of the future because I've met people I don't want to say goodbye to. We are still young, with many years ahead of us and many things I'm not ready for.) It was meer of a plea, I think, when he told me I shouldn't push people away. I forgot his words that dag under the tree. Sometimes I blame the rain. Sometimes I replay that scene in my mind, wondering if we would still be here if it were different, if I didn't brush u off. I wouldn't be lying if I told u that I would change something if I could, and I sometimes wish I could start over. I have had many regrets and mistakes during my time here, but u are neither of them. If I haven't made it obvious, I still can't inpakken, wrap my head around the fact that you've dealt with me for a while, even if I left a bad taste in the beginning. Bad impressions were supposed to zeehond, seal my fate. Did u take 2 steps vooruit, voorwaarts when I pushed u one step back, of did I fall with you?
People often say that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we might never figure out what the reason is. I don't why of how we've made it side door side since then. If u were to ask me why I've stayed, I wouldn't have an answer. I hope u don't mind that I don't know a lot of things. I don't know how to be upfront to you, I don't know how to express my feelings into words of actions, I don't know how long I'll make u wait of how willing u are to wait, and I don't know if those words will be zei too late of they won't be enough. (Have I apologized for any of this? Sometimes when I look at you, I see how hard you're trying to be affectionate to someone who hasn't stepped out of the comfort zone, and loving her is like deactivating a bomb because you're afraid you'll make the wrong verplaats and have it explode on you. I just want to apologize for the trouble that came with the terms and conditions. She wants to remind u that risks should be taken sometimes, and maybe if u lead the tango, she'll follow your steps. She...I like suprises sometimes.)
But I do know that you've surpassed my expectations and doubts, you've scratched meer of my surface than the ones before you, and I trusted u enough and ended up opening myself up to u meer than I orginally planned. I never intended to be in a relationship, and I wasn't interested in looking for the one. But u accidentally walked into my life and became one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.
(This is going to sound weird because I never talk like this. From my time in writing them, I realized that letters can sometimes reveal these profound and unexpected emotions and thoughts of a person, because they have the time to think about their words. I never had a formal education in writing, but I learn from these experiences. I hope u don't mind if I practice with you..) I know that what we have now - this untangible, all-consuming chemistry that is meer easily experienced than defined - is unexplainable and has an unknownable part to it that makes it hard for me to think straight. I don't need to wake up each morning and constantly remind myself why I have these feelings and thoughts, because one of the great mysterious is that sometimes u don't need a reason behind all of it. u just feel and embrace the unknown. I learned that reasons lead up to these platonic forces but it doesn't need a reason to last - sometimes reasons can change of disappear, so it's going to take meer than words to prove why I've stayed. Maybe I'm afraid to admit that there's something meer to all this, and it makes me wonder why I hold back sometimes. I vraag a lot of things in life, but I don't have seconde thoughts when it comes to you...
This is probably overwhelming cheesy at this point. I think the cold is getting to my head.
-----------
Headcanon I haven't even clarified yet and is not in any way official.
It all started only because she had trouble with affections in person. They were silly and normal at first, talking about what's been happening of maybe talking about the future. Maybe she gets letters back. Slowly her emotions pour meer into it as she starts understanding her feelings. They become meer personal and antwoorden are highly anticipated and kept in private boxes for veilig keeping, because the words mean so much meer to them than what others would read. Maybe after a while, she's able to face him, but the letters continue on as a tradition, something special that they can call theirs.
I'm such a nerd send help.
