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 The wolf clan was kinda awesome, except for the crappy animatie and the fact that they're allergic to shirts.
The wolf clan was kinda awesome, except for the crappy animation and the fact that they're allergic to shirts.
Okay, I'll admit that I haven't laughed this hard at a film since I saw The Hangover last summer. Seriously, what was the plot here? I actually found the first film to be much better than this travesty. u can find my review of the first movie link. I'll go through it like I do with all movies. Pros and cons, then an overall.

Pros

The Volturi

Finally! Some ACTUAL vampires!! The Volturi I found were pretty awesome because, u know, they actually were cruel, soulless, mean, and did some actual VAMPIRING. The part towards the end where a tour group of humans is led directly to them and u hear their screams was pretty awesome. Come on people, that's what vampires do. They drink the blood of huuumans. Sheesh. Also, they were pretty cruel too, what with the whole slaan, smack down of Edward and nearly killing Bella (so bummed that didn't happen). Getting a small glimpse of the actor who will be playing Grindelwald in Deathly Hallows was a nice bonus too. So for all u Twilight fans, the Volturi are GOOD examples of vampires. Much like the soulless vampires on Buffy.

The wolf Clan

Now why I didn't particularly enjoy the crappy computer animatie of the wolves (more on that later) I did enjoy the characters of the wolf clan. The one scene that I really liked is where we see Sam's fiance, with half her face clawed up. My friend and I definitely agree that even with the claw marks she was amazingly beautiful. I would see a movie about her and Sam in a heartbeat. It would be much much better than this terrible film. Pity they were stuck in it.

Jacob

Lautner got hot. No denying that. Other than the hotness factor though, he was probably the only real character with any dimensions and depth besides Bella's father. The way their relationship built to where Jacob fell for Bella, and she pretty much for him, was very realistic and healthy. So u can imagine my dissappointment when she chose Edward, who abandoned, controlled, and basically led to much of her depression, over Jacob. u Team Jacob fans, I now consider u semi-sane because u recognized a HEALTHY relationship. complimenten to u guys.


Cons

Bella...you there?

I hate the character of Bella, I truly do. She doesn't think for herself, is defined solely door her relationships, and for some reason Stewart could NEVER SHUT HER MOUTH. Even when she wasn't talking!! What was up with that?! Gaah. The fact too that she dissed her vrienden at school and put her dad through so much crap with the screaming at night (seriously, wtf, she doesn't have PTSD) made me just loathe her character even meer with a passion. Furthermore, her whole obsession over age was just ridiculous. Ohhh nooo you're a whole jaar older than your 107 jaar old vampire boyfriend!! Now he's not going to love u anymore!!! Yea, stupid. Those fans out there that idolize her, please find a healthier role model such as Eowyn, Hermione, heck even Lily on How I Met Your Mother. Bella is a very unhealthy and psychologically unstable character and is an insult to females everywhere. She didn't even drive her own car most of the time! Disgusting.

How is she special too btw?

If someone can explain how Bella is unaffected door any of the vampire's powers, it'd be much appreciated. That just seems like something that's just thrown out there. My theory? It's because Bella has no thoughts!

Edward...dude wtf?!

Sooo this guy that supposedly is totally in love with u throws u into a glass tafel, tabel for protection, lies to you, breaks up with you, and abandons u in the forest. A car ride home pagina would have been nice plskthnx. Also, the throwing into the glass tafel, tabel for her protection? That was totally safe. u know, because she was bleeding even meer profusely after the tafel, tabel than she was after the papercut. Also, who has ever bled that much after a papercut anyways, if at all? Furthermore, the fact that he kept "appearing" everytime Bella had an adrenaline rush was just weird. I think if my ex-boyfriend started tonen up everytime I had a rush, I'd go and get a CT of my brain to make sure I didn't have a brain tumor a la Izzie seeing Denny b/c of her tumor. Also, the fact that Bella takes him right back after all the crap he put her through was just great. Really shows girls that hey, after a guy lies to u like that u can totally trust him again with no really good explanation other than "I love you". Nice.

OMG a Plot Point!!!

Annd what was the plot?? Everytime a possible plot point appeared it seemed to get derailed, such as the shots of Victoria, Laurent, of whenever anyone zei Bella was acting crazy. If anyone spoke reason of a plot point appeared, it did not toon again.

Lupin's wolf Looked Better...

The film must have had the world's worst computer animatie department because those wolves were a travesty. How about those transf...I mean FURSPLOSIONS eh? Really bad animatie coupled with a laughable transformation sequence (FURSPLODE!) led to even meer laughs. Too bad there weren't enough fursplosions.

That's What She Said!

There were way too many lines in the film where one could easily say that. For example- Bella: I'm coming! Me: That's what she said! Edward: I don't want u to come! Me: That's what HE said!! If u don't get the meaning behind that, then please go watch The Office where it is regularly utilized. Furthermore, the scene where Edward kisses Bella in front of her truck after the party was too funny. Edward acted like...well like link SNL skit. Please be forewarned that that link is meant for those 16 and older. That scene probably got one of the biggest laughs out of me.

Blocked

Finally, all the kiss-blocking that poor Jacob suffered through. Face stempel, punch high school guy who threw up at an action movie (he's so gay then), Bella denies, and Edward calls just as he macks on the upper lip! Seriously, Jacob should have just pulled an Owen (Grey's Anatomy character), grabbed Bella, and just rocked her world. Doubt she woulda left if he did that.


Overall

Overall, this movie was a travesty to the film community. It was plotless, very poorly acted, and featured a very unhealthy set of characters that girls and women alike should not look up to as role models. Bella should have been thrown in a psych center for the stuff she was experiencing. I'm not going to apologize either if I've offended anyone. This is my honest opinion, and I know I wasn't as kind as I was in my first review. Now you've heard an opinion of an anti-Twilighter. u Team Jacobers, u got some respect from me now. Please save your brain cells and your money and do not see this movie. Unless u want a really good laugh then door all means do. Oh and one meer thing to note. The ending with the whole Marry me? Ending on the *gasp* garnered a huge laugh from our audience. And just for my own satisfaction, FURSPLODE TIME!!
 No plot and many opportunities for "That's what she said!" abound in this film. Also, Edward during this kiss is very reminiscent of a certain SNL skit.
No plot and many opportunities for "That's what she said!" abound in this film. Also, Edward during this kiss is very reminiscent of a certain SNL skit.
 Poor Jacob kept getting blocked and denied. In the end, Bella chooses the unhealthy relationship with Edward based on looks rather than the healthy one with Jacob based on the initial strong friendship.
Poor Jacob kept getting blocked and denied. In the end, Bella chooses the unhealthy relationship with Edward based on looks rather than the healthy one with Jacob based on the initial strong friendship.
posted by emmett
10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan

10. Ask about Mike.

9. Ask about Eric.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?

1. Tell her that u and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her u are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
what to noble were they? he thought he thought we wouldn`t do it because bella wouldn`t let us. he was wrong.
"no not noble her bodygard wont let us" he should be able to understand this he saw rose inside. i let him catch up ontil i caught a little of what he was thinking
did the beauty qureen wont bella to die so bad? that hurt but he was right
"maybe rosalie doesnt look at it quite like that" she thought she was following what bella wonted.
"so take blondie down first your kind can be put back together right? turn her into a jigsaw and take care of bella" like i hadnt thought of that well...
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(Eclipse SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Team Jacob, hold on to your sleeping bags.

Chris Weitz, who directed New Moon, the seconde installment in the Twilight series, says he has read the script for this summer's third installment, Eclipse – and that one scene in particular is a scorcher.

"I'm looking vooruit, voorwaarts to the sleeping bag scene, I gotta say," Weitz tells PEOPLE. "That's going to be very steamy."

In Eclipse's fan-favorite "tent scene," – spoiler alert! – a freezing Bella, who is on the run from evil vamp Victoria, gets a warm-up from werewolf Jacob when he squeezes into her sleeping bag – while...
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Hi,
I dont have much to say today but I hope u enjoy this chapter as I put loads of thought and hardwork into it. once again I hope u enjoy it and chapter 16 is on the way * i promise...*
LAmber/Twilightsauce....x

The wind blowing through my hair was an exhilarating feeling. Jasper had taught me how to ride his bike a couple of months ago; I was surprised when he zei yes because he was usually quite responsible. I hadn’t been much good at first but after a few hours I had got the hang of it, no one else knew that I could ride his bike and it was nice to be able to take it out for a private...
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Well now, here is some rather odd news, Muse will no longer be on the Eclipse soundtrack! Whaaaaaaat? Yeah, here are the details and I must say I am a little surprised! What will the vampires do while they play baseball now?!:


"Nah, it's gone," Howard tells us -- just a few months after he quipped to MTV: "We might even do something for the third one. How about that for a scoop?"

The news is surprising gegeven the band is pals-y with Eclipse's director, David Slade (he helmed loads of Muse's early videos), and possibly pals-ier with Stephenie Meyer (there's even a foto of lead singer Matthew Bellamy...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
Painful Memories


Chapter Six



Bella POV

Edward hasn't left my side since Hayley and her 'friends' arrived. Her 'friends' still have yet to come and meet us. She must be the leader of spokeswoman of the group.

“Yes, I am. Those two couldn't lead anything, and I'm the one with powers.” Hayley's high pitched voice answered my thoughts.

We were now all sitting in the living room. Carsile and Esme sat together on the love seat. Jasper sat on the other end of the divan, bank from Hayley, with Alice on his lap. Edward and I sat on the bottom of the Cullens curved staircase. Edward had his arm molded around...
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posted by melikhan
Twilight
Main article: Twilight (novel)

Bella zwaan-, zwaan moves from Phoenix, Arizona to live with her father in Forks, Washington to allow her mother to travel with her new husband, a minor league baseball player. After moving to Forks, Bella finds herself involuntarily drawn to a mysterious, handsome boy, Edward Cullen. She eventually learns that he is a member of a vampire family who drinks animal blood rather than human. Edward and Bella fall in love, but James, a sadistic vampire from another vampire coven, is drawn to hunt down Bella. Edward and the other Cullens defend Bella. She escapes to Phoenix,...
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It was a car.A fast sports car.And unfortanately,it was mine.A gift from my fiance (and vampire) Edward Cullen.It was something he insisted on getting me.I turned my head and saw Mrs.Weber with her face pushed up against the glass of her shop.How embarrasing.I shook my head and the light turned green.I hit the gas pedal with so much force I lurched vooruit, voorwaarts and got a few fingers and dissaproving looks.If there were any doubt about who'd been driving this car before,it was gone along with my truck.I checked the gas meter and it was almost at zero.I wouldnt've come into town if my gas tank wasn't...
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posted by kiwi12
part 12

I found myself trying to collect my thoughts and summarize the danger I was in as well as my assets. The biggest asset seemed to be the fact that when I was around Edward I could catch small bits of people's thoughts. It wasn't easy and I found myself admiring him for dealing with it full force constantly. He could read door mind with no problem unless his mate Bella was near, which was often. Edward couldn't read Bella's mind so I got a small bit of that power. Both powers had their benefits. Bella handled my ever increasing lijst of abnormalities the best. Renesmee also handled it well....
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Taylor Lautner’s Superbowl Weekend
By Twilight_News

Taylor Lautner is having one action packed weekend. First he was in Direct TV’s Celebrity strand Bowl with Twilight co-star Kellan Lutz and countless other celebrities. Then he’s hanging around to see the Superbowl because the Colts are in the game. Being a Michigan native, Taylor is rooting for the Colts, and of all people he seems to have bonded with Rob Lowe over the Colts love!

According to E! Rob Lowe stated:

“Taylor’s another Colts fan and he’s such a great guy,” Rob zei when I caught up with him at the Audi penthouse party...
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door Twilight_News | 8 February 2010

Rob talks to the Daily Record about everything from his Bel Ami shoot ( when u read the artikel u just know that the Uma Thurman quote is destined to be requoted and rehashed out-of-context for the volgende year), to his loss of privacy, to Breaking Dawn.

“He is also set to ster in the final Twlight film based on the boeken Breaking Dawn, which may be broken into two films, due to the number of books.

He admits to mixed emotions about the end of the saga.

He said: “”It will be strange but it will be great just to be able to know what I’m doing. Not knowing when Breaking Dawn is going to shoot – because it changes all the time – is a kind of burden, to have this thing where u don’t know when it’s going to happen.

“So you’ve got to organise everything in your life around that and that can be difficult.”
Hey, here is Chapter 9 enjoy!

It was like someone was trying to wake me from a deep sleep. I wanted to wake up but I couldn’t verplaats there was too much pain. That’s when I heard the voice, his beautiful voice.
“No Nessie, don’t stop breathing. Keep your hart-, hart beating, breath Nessie breathe!” Jacob sobbed over my chest.
“Jacob, u need to let me look at her, it’s the only way to save her,” Carlisle said, worry in his calm voice. Jacob didn’t say anything but leaned back and took my hand.
“Ed...Edward, she is going to be okay, isn’t she?” I heard mum sob in her wind chime...
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posted by She_wolf
hope u enjoy, but this chapter is a bit weird :L

Chapter Ten

That was when I noticed I was laying on my back, half naked and with a girl 3 years older than me laying on top, boven of me, with her leg passionately thrown over my side and her chest dangerously close to my face.
I carefully sat up, positioning her on my lap. I turned to face Jared.
I blushed deeply, but still managed to sound fierce “She’s my girlfriend Jared. “I stuttered. I hated that word. “I think it’s legal for someone to kiss their girlfriend. And anyway she’s not your girlfriend, of even your friend, so why are...
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posted by kiwi12
part 4

"My name is Edward Whitlock. This is my sister Rosalie Cullen and my father is Carlisle Cullen. What's your name?" Lying to a mind reader seemed less then practical so I muttered "Juliet". He asked me if I lived around here and I told him I'd just moved in. The small talk was not working and my eyes were still wet. The leader sighed "I know you're afraid of being near us but I cannot in good conscience send u home. Not in your condition. Now I can talk to your parents and arrange for u to be taken care of elsewhere. I will ask u not to tell your parents what u know about us. We...
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Hello Everyone! I'm bringing another story that I'm writing called Bedroom Confessions! I'm posting the link, hoping u will take a look at it. This story is for mature audiences only as it contains violence and murder.

Summary: Edward was investigating the perfect murder. Part of his job was to protect the only witness's identity from the murderer. But can he control his feelings for her, and can he handle the secrets she hides? AH/AU;E/B

If u like this one, make sure to check out the other stories listed on my profile! Thanks, and I hope u enjoy it!

Link---> link
posted by Hellohoudini
Best kiss of the decade


geplaatst door Twilight_News - 28/01/10 at 09:01 am


At the opening of their new London department store, Selfridges held a survey to find out the top, boven kisses of the past decade. Coming in at number one on their lijst was the kiss between Edward and Bella in “Twilight.” Considering the current fan frenzy and media hype surrounding the “are they/aren’t they” relationship of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, this shouldn’t be a big surprise. Other kisses on the lijst include the upside down Spider-man kiss and the kiss from Brokeback Mountain. Entertainment Wise has the details including a slide toon of foto's of Kristen and Rob
 Nessie looking at Lilly because she is staring at the cullens
Nessie looking at Lilly because she is staring at the cullens
Jake never spoke again instead he walked straight towards me, i squeezed my eyes shut while my mind was screaming vragen but it was too late to think of that, than i heard Jake coming closer
“Lily, come out i know your there” he sounded amused , i sighed than stepped out, i was surprised to see Jake with a huge smile on his face i sneaked a glance at Quil he was looking down and his face was pink, i was confused but before i could ask any vragen Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulders and steered me to class,
“ You've got a lot of explaining to do, I'm coming over this Arvy”...
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I looked at the compass and the map, made sure the compass was pointing the direction on the spoke I had followed, and started moving again. What a pain it was to hike all this way. It was so much easier the first time I'd come here...
I had to think of something else every fast, if I ever wanted to make it home. Of course it was better when Jacob had come with me. My personal sun, lighting everything in his path. But I was meer grateful for the fact that he had not taken this trip with me. FOr so many reasons I couldn't even count. For one thing, how would I explain my conversation with a vampire?...
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posted by She_wolf
 my fave quote from this chapter :)
my fave quote from this chapter :)
Chapter Four (thanks to everyone who's commented)

I coughed, his words ringing in ears. There was something stuck in my throat. Half-brothers! My head and stomach were spinning, like a tumble drier. My dad was Billy Black? I turned away from Jake and threw up. That cleared my head, which made my hart-, hart ache. Why hadn’t my mom told me? She knew that I used to cry myself to sleep when I was younger because I’d seen a happy family out on the strand at La push. Why hadn’t she thought to tell me?
Jake was trying not to listen to my thoughts, but he couldn’t help it. He flinched, at my memory....
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posted by Twilightsauce
He has gone. He is not coming back. He does not love u anymore. He has gone. He is not coming back. He does not love u anymore. He has gone. He is not coming back. He does not love u anymore. He has gone. He has gone. He has gone.
I could say this to myself a thousand times and it still would not make me feel any better. Nothing can, not anymore. When... when Edward and the rest of the Cullen’s left Forks they took my soul with them. Everything that made me happy is gone. They are never coming back. I am like a zombie, I walk, eat, sleep and I answer if somebody asks me something but...
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