From another emai I received. Just for fun!
EMPLOYEE MEMO
Dress Code
1. It is advised that u come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see u wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume u are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If u dress poorly, u need to learn to manage your money better, so that u may buy nicer clothes, and therefore u do not need a pay raise.
3. If u dress just right, u are right where u need to be and therefore u do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If u are able to go to the doctor, u are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 104 days off a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time in the toilet.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the toilet door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your seconde offence, your picture will be geplaatst on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank u for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
EMPLOYEE MEMO
Dress Code
1. It is advised that u come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see u wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume u are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If u dress poorly, u need to learn to manage your money better, so that u may buy nicer clothes, and therefore u do not need a pay raise.
3. If u dress just right, u are right where u need to be and therefore u do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If u are able to go to the doctor, u are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 104 days off a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time in the toilet.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the toilet door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your seconde offence, your picture will be geplaatst on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank u for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
