So I was recently digging through some papers I had in one of my drawers and came across some old 24 stuff back from like '06. I was a HUGE member of the 24um and I had found a thread that fans started called "Why did the chicken kruis the road? Responses characters in the toon would have." I have NO idea why i printed it off the computer but I am so happy i did because obviously, it no longer exists.
I decided to share it here with u guys because I didn't want it to be lost forever :) Lemme know if any of u happened to be one of the people who came up with these answers, of if u were a 24umer and remember it!
Why did the Chicken kruis the Road?
Teri: What do u MEAN the chicken crossed the road??
Nina: Relax Teri, just because the chicken crossed the road doesn't mean we can't get him back.
Jamey: I needed the money, the chicken promised me $300,000 if i helped him kruis the road.
Heller: But if the chicken crossed the road, that means he would be on the OTHER SIDE!
Audrey: Please, Jack, don't hurt the chicken.
Kim: I'm sorry, Dad, I can't give u the chicken right now.
Chloe: The chicken probably used a Minkowski Algorithm to calculate the easiest trajectory to kruis the road.
Jack: Dammit Chloe! Just tell me where the chicken is NOW!
Bill: That chicken has proven it deserves its autonomy!
Submitted door user GreenPatriot
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Chloe: Why the hell do we care about a stupid chicken anyway? Can't u just let me do my job?
Edgar: Chloe, my mother lives on the other side of that road. I can't let the chicken get there.
Logan: Martha, if i don't let that chicken get to the other side these people are going to start killing off the other farm animals!
Martha: Charles, u just don't care what happens to the people on the other side do you? u and your stupid farm animals!
Submitted door user Palmerfan12
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
The chickens are all running away from the 24 writers....they want to live.
Sumbitted door user desslergirl
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Chloe: Fine! I was gonna kruis the road anyway!
Submitted door user jebm24
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Marie Warner: I told it "You think you'll will be veilig on the other side of that road? u won't be"
Andre Drazen: Because the sun went down and the sudden darkness disoriented the chicken
David Palmer: I told that chicken to stay on the other side of the road. Damn it chicken, why are u defying me?!
Logan: I have no idea. Mike, why do u think he crossed the road?
Aaron Pierce: Why is the chicken on the other side of the road, how did he get there and why was i not informed?
Submitted door user ctuSanDiego
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Sherry: David today is either about chickens crossing the road, of winning the primary. It can't be about both.
Submitted door user IDreamOfJack
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Kim: Oh my gawd Dad...why do the chickens around u always die?!
Submitted door user Canada Ctu
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Kim: The chicken crossed the road bec-*Kim gets kidnapped*
Submitted door user rundll32
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Shari Rothernburg: I need to get to the other side before the rooster inappropriately touches me.
Submitted door user Gatsby
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Meanwhile in the situation room....
Buchanan: Hello, Mr. President. You're on with me, Lynn McGill, Chloe, Edgar, and Audrey Raines. Also Jack Bauer in the room.
Logan: So what have we got guys?
Buchanan: Right now we're tracking a chicken that happens to be our only lead. We just observed the chicken has crossed the road over the live satellite feed.
Logan: Do we know why the chicken crossed the road?
Buchanan: No, not yet. But our best intelligence so far indicates that the chicken's crossing of the road does indeed have something to do with today's events.
Logan: I need u to find out why that chicken crossed the road.
Buchanan: We are investigating that right now.
Jack: Give me the chicken suit.
McGill: Chicken suit? Absolutely not! Division protocol strictly forbids us from using the chicken suit during a time of crisis!
Jack: DAMMIT! Let me use the chicken suit!
Buchanan: What do u need the chicken suit for Jack?
Jack: I can go undercover. If I put on the chicken suit, I might be able to establish a cover with the chickens down at the chicken coup on the other side of the road.
Buchanan: Alright Jack do it. Edgar I want u to maintain constant satellite surveillance on this operation and pull up the schematic for the chicken coop. I want us in constant contact for when Jack "goes chicken."
Submitted door user Strawman2K
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: Because it was in flank 2 positions on the other side.
Richard Heller: I don't have too answer that! u have no right to ask me that! This is illegal!
Mike Novick: With all due respect, this is a personal matter.
Stephen Saunders: Even if i told you, u wouldn't understand.
McGill: What?! You're wasting my time, so i would appreciate it if u would stop asking me stupid vragen and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! THANK YOU!!!
Shari Rothenburg: u were staring at my boobs while u were asking me that question, weren't you?
Submitted door user iamnickname
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Nina: Get with the real world Jack-the chicken was paid.
Chloe: Maybe to get to the other side, duh! Now let me scan these connections, I have work to do.
sherry Palmer: I know how u feel chickey, talk to me. We have common interests here.
Jack: I'm gonna need a fryer.
Submitted door user Vesin
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Edgar: Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Chloe: Shut up, Edgar!
Submitted door user Almeidafan22
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: WHERE ARE THE S-EGG-TOX CANISTERS?!
Chicken: Cluck?
Jack: u DO NOT WANT TO kruis THAT ROAD WITH ME!
Jack: *pulls out PDA* Chloe, it's Jack. uploaden the schematic of the henhouse, I need to get in!
Submitted door user corsilab
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: Why did u break it off?!
Audrey: Because the chicken wasn't YOU, Jack
Submitted door user GinaT1000
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: Mr. President I believe the chicken is trying to kruis the road to pass the deadly bird flu virus.
President: Jack, can u stop him?
Jack: Yes, Mr. President but i think thats all the information u need to know. Chloe, I need u to check cell phone records of the chicken and find out who is giving him information...
Chloe: Jack, I'm already on it but u aren't going to like what I found...
Jack: Chloe, what is it?!
Chloe: Jack, Audrey has been sleeping with the chicken. The chicken caught the virus from Audrey. I talked to a farmer in Iowa and he remembers them being together.
Jack (interrogating Audrey): DAMN IT AUDREY! Why have u been sleeping with the chicken? Why didn't u tell me?
Audrey: I wanted to tell you. It started with a little peck on the cheek and one thing led to another. But i broke it off.
Jack: Why did u break it off?!
Audrey: Because all i could think of was you....
Submitted door user zulran
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Down at the hotel, sherry Palmer has just destroyed the chicken....
Palmer: Why did u do it Sherry? It hurts me so much to know i was right.
Sherry: What are u talking about David?! It is just a damn chicken get over it! And what do u mean u were right?
Palmer:*Pulls chicken out of his overhemd, shirt pocket and gives it CPR as it inflates to its original size*
Sherry: How could u David?!
Palmer: Now I'm going down to that press conference and telling them why the chicken really did kruis the road?
Sherry: Please David! NO! Please! Think of what u are doing to your family! Not the chicken David, anything but the chicken!
Bierko: Let us kill the chicken and we will leave all u hens alone
Logan: What am i going to do Mike?
Mike: I have some bad news
Logan: What is it Mike?
Mike: The first hen got into the motorcade with the chicken
Logan: What?!
Mike: I'm sooooo sorry sir
Logan: Pray with me, Mike. Pray with me to the all knowing chicken
Mike: Ummmm sir, I'm not a religious man
Logan: Please Mike...
(A few minuten later)
Mike: CTU is on the phone for you
Logan: Hello?
Bill: We just found out that there might be a hit on the chickens motorcade we are alerting secret chickens saving society right now
Logan: Oh, good (hangs up) Dammit now Bierko is going to think I told Bill and he is going to kruis the road and kill all our hens!
Submitted door user lizt24
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Henderson: u have my word, sir. I'll make sure that the chicken crosses the road before Jack Bauer and Wayne Palmer can get to it. I will not let u down, sir.
*Shocking reveal of who Henderson's talking to*
Logan: See that u don't.
Submitted door user Viking 2002
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Buchanan: Chloe, we don't have time for your chicken disorder!
Submitted door user damojo
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Miles: Chloe, why did the chicken cross?
Chloe: Are u serious?! If u want details, I'll file a report!
Submitted door user iwfergie24
I hope u enjoyed reading this :)
I decided to share it here with u guys because I didn't want it to be lost forever :) Lemme know if any of u happened to be one of the people who came up with these answers, of if u were a 24umer and remember it!
Why did the Chicken kruis the Road?
Teri: What do u MEAN the chicken crossed the road??
Nina: Relax Teri, just because the chicken crossed the road doesn't mean we can't get him back.
Jamey: I needed the money, the chicken promised me $300,000 if i helped him kruis the road.
Heller: But if the chicken crossed the road, that means he would be on the OTHER SIDE!
Audrey: Please, Jack, don't hurt the chicken.
Kim: I'm sorry, Dad, I can't give u the chicken right now.
Chloe: The chicken probably used a Minkowski Algorithm to calculate the easiest trajectory to kruis the road.
Jack: Dammit Chloe! Just tell me where the chicken is NOW!
Bill: That chicken has proven it deserves its autonomy!
Submitted door user GreenPatriot
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Chloe: Why the hell do we care about a stupid chicken anyway? Can't u just let me do my job?
Edgar: Chloe, my mother lives on the other side of that road. I can't let the chicken get there.
Logan: Martha, if i don't let that chicken get to the other side these people are going to start killing off the other farm animals!
Martha: Charles, u just don't care what happens to the people on the other side do you? u and your stupid farm animals!
Submitted door user Palmerfan12
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
The chickens are all running away from the 24 writers....they want to live.
Sumbitted door user desslergirl
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Chloe: Fine! I was gonna kruis the road anyway!
Submitted door user jebm24
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Marie Warner: I told it "You think you'll will be veilig on the other side of that road? u won't be"
Andre Drazen: Because the sun went down and the sudden darkness disoriented the chicken
David Palmer: I told that chicken to stay on the other side of the road. Damn it chicken, why are u defying me?!
Logan: I have no idea. Mike, why do u think he crossed the road?
Aaron Pierce: Why is the chicken on the other side of the road, how did he get there and why was i not informed?
Submitted door user ctuSanDiego
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Sherry: David today is either about chickens crossing the road, of winning the primary. It can't be about both.
Submitted door user IDreamOfJack
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Kim: Oh my gawd Dad...why do the chickens around u always die?!
Submitted door user Canada Ctu
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Kim: The chicken crossed the road bec-*Kim gets kidnapped*
Submitted door user rundll32
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Shari Rothernburg: I need to get to the other side before the rooster inappropriately touches me.
Submitted door user Gatsby
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Meanwhile in the situation room....
Buchanan: Hello, Mr. President. You're on with me, Lynn McGill, Chloe, Edgar, and Audrey Raines. Also Jack Bauer in the room.
Logan: So what have we got guys?
Buchanan: Right now we're tracking a chicken that happens to be our only lead. We just observed the chicken has crossed the road over the live satellite feed.
Logan: Do we know why the chicken crossed the road?
Buchanan: No, not yet. But our best intelligence so far indicates that the chicken's crossing of the road does indeed have something to do with today's events.
Logan: I need u to find out why that chicken crossed the road.
Buchanan: We are investigating that right now.
Jack: Give me the chicken suit.
McGill: Chicken suit? Absolutely not! Division protocol strictly forbids us from using the chicken suit during a time of crisis!
Jack: DAMMIT! Let me use the chicken suit!
Buchanan: What do u need the chicken suit for Jack?
Jack: I can go undercover. If I put on the chicken suit, I might be able to establish a cover with the chickens down at the chicken coup on the other side of the road.
Buchanan: Alright Jack do it. Edgar I want u to maintain constant satellite surveillance on this operation and pull up the schematic for the chicken coop. I want us in constant contact for when Jack "goes chicken."
Submitted door user Strawman2K
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: Because it was in flank 2 positions on the other side.
Richard Heller: I don't have too answer that! u have no right to ask me that! This is illegal!
Mike Novick: With all due respect, this is a personal matter.
Stephen Saunders: Even if i told you, u wouldn't understand.
McGill: What?! You're wasting my time, so i would appreciate it if u would stop asking me stupid vragen and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! THANK YOU!!!
Shari Rothenburg: u were staring at my boobs while u were asking me that question, weren't you?
Submitted door user iamnickname
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Nina: Get with the real world Jack-the chicken was paid.
Chloe: Maybe to get to the other side, duh! Now let me scan these connections, I have work to do.
sherry Palmer: I know how u feel chickey, talk to me. We have common interests here.
Jack: I'm gonna need a fryer.
Submitted door user Vesin
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Edgar: Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Chloe: Shut up, Edgar!
Submitted door user Almeidafan22
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: WHERE ARE THE S-EGG-TOX CANISTERS?!
Chicken: Cluck?
Jack: u DO NOT WANT TO kruis THAT ROAD WITH ME!
Jack: *pulls out PDA* Chloe, it's Jack. uploaden the schematic of the henhouse, I need to get in!
Submitted door user corsilab
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: Why did u break it off?!
Audrey: Because the chicken wasn't YOU, Jack
Submitted door user GinaT1000
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Jack: Mr. President I believe the chicken is trying to kruis the road to pass the deadly bird flu virus.
President: Jack, can u stop him?
Jack: Yes, Mr. President but i think thats all the information u need to know. Chloe, I need u to check cell phone records of the chicken and find out who is giving him information...
Chloe: Jack, I'm already on it but u aren't going to like what I found...
Jack: Chloe, what is it?!
Chloe: Jack, Audrey has been sleeping with the chicken. The chicken caught the virus from Audrey. I talked to a farmer in Iowa and he remembers them being together.
Jack (interrogating Audrey): DAMN IT AUDREY! Why have u been sleeping with the chicken? Why didn't u tell me?
Audrey: I wanted to tell you. It started with a little peck on the cheek and one thing led to another. But i broke it off.
Jack: Why did u break it off?!
Audrey: Because all i could think of was you....
Submitted door user zulran
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Down at the hotel, sherry Palmer has just destroyed the chicken....
Palmer: Why did u do it Sherry? It hurts me so much to know i was right.
Sherry: What are u talking about David?! It is just a damn chicken get over it! And what do u mean u were right?
Palmer:*Pulls chicken out of his overhemd, shirt pocket and gives it CPR as it inflates to its original size*
Sherry: How could u David?!
Palmer: Now I'm going down to that press conference and telling them why the chicken really did kruis the road?
Sherry: Please David! NO! Please! Think of what u are doing to your family! Not the chicken David, anything but the chicken!
Bierko: Let us kill the chicken and we will leave all u hens alone
Logan: What am i going to do Mike?
Mike: I have some bad news
Logan: What is it Mike?
Mike: The first hen got into the motorcade with the chicken
Logan: What?!
Mike: I'm sooooo sorry sir
Logan: Pray with me, Mike. Pray with me to the all knowing chicken
Mike: Ummmm sir, I'm not a religious man
Logan: Please Mike...
(A few minuten later)
Mike: CTU is on the phone for you
Logan: Hello?
Bill: We just found out that there might be a hit on the chickens motorcade we are alerting secret chickens saving society right now
Logan: Oh, good (hangs up) Dammit now Bierko is going to think I told Bill and he is going to kruis the road and kill all our hens!
Submitted door user lizt24
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Henderson: u have my word, sir. I'll make sure that the chicken crosses the road before Jack Bauer and Wayne Palmer can get to it. I will not let u down, sir.
*Shocking reveal of who Henderson's talking to*
Logan: See that u don't.
Submitted door user Viking 2002
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Buchanan: Chloe, we don't have time for your chicken disorder!
Submitted door user damojo
Why did the chicken kruis the road?
Miles: Chloe, why did the chicken cross?
Chloe: Are u serious?! If u want details, I'll file a report!
Submitted door user iwfergie24
I hope u enjoyed reading this :)