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Domestic Abuse - Help?

I have a cousin who's married to a scumbag and they have two young daughters (10 and 7). He keeps physically abusing his wife, hits her to the point where she's needed stitches on several occasions.

After he physically abuses her, he abandons her for indefinite periods of time with barely any money on her. He doesn't let her work, keeps her on lock-down financially and emotionally.

Recently they were rendered homeless, moving from one cheap motel to the next. The children had been taken out of school because they couldn't afford it, and they were living with us for a while with my cousin visiting now and again. But now my cousin took them back to her husband and he's been drinking a lot, and yesterday he hit my youngest niece pretty bad.

I don't know what to do to help them, because my cousin seems to fall for her husband's bullshit promises every single time. And her parents are equally idiots because they aren't bothered in the least about helping her.

Oh, and we don't have Child Protective Services of whatever where I'm at.

Is there anything that can be done? I feel completely useless, and the kids are going to suffer the most and I have no idea what to do.
 Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
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Advice Antwoorden

BabyBlud said:
It's very sad when a family has to go such things as domestic and violent abuse, it can scar children and trust/emotions for life. This needs to be dealt with and quickly.

The reason your cousin keeps falling for her husbands promises and defends him when the authorities are called is because she loves him. She knows exactly what kind of man he is, but all she sees when she looks at him is the man she fell in love with. Men like this often threaten to kill of harm if anyone says anything about what he's doing, and his threats can seem extremely real, to the point where they become real. Your cousin will be too down-trod and depressed to realise she's better off without him. Her husband will continually tell her she's worthless and that she will never amount to anything without him, and he will tell her this so often that she will always believe him. Unfortunatly there isn't anything she can do about it until she finds the strength within herself, but her husband hitting the children is something she MUST NOT STAND FOR.

I researched some things online -

link

link

link

Hope these linken help
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Thank u so much! Those linken are really helpful.. Thanks :)
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
BeastBoyCahill said:
Oh, my... I'm sorry about that... but no, sorry, I can't come up with any way to help... One thing that's definite is that your cousin needs to freaking get a divorce with that freak. But if u can't convince her... I got nothing.

OK, one small piece of advice that I have: It's that u should ask this vraag on the Random club instead, it would be better. Because even though this spot is meer appropriate, really, the Random club gets much meer attention. If this vraag were asked there, I would not be the first to answer. So...
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Thanks... I did think of posting on the random spot, but figured I'd get a lot of unserious answers.. Thanks though, for trying to help :)
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
Magica said:
I don't know a whole lot about CPS, but if it's really that bad, I'm sure if u called at another location, they'd come out to help. I don't know for sure, but there's no harm in trying.

If not, then u could try talking to your cousin and see if she and her kids would be willing to verplaats back with you. And, well, divorce the guy.

I'm writing this assuming u haven't tried it yet. If u have, then I'm not sure. I'm really sorry... wish I could do meer to help.
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Oh, um, I live in India. We don't have CPS as a country. I did try talking to her but she chooses to listen to him instead. Thanks for the answer though :)
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
stramming said:
Call the cops...?
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Tried but my cousin keeps trying to protect he husband the last time we called the cops.
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
Gumball17 said:
Well, no offence, but your cousin needs mental help. Until she can accept the fact that he's a scumbag, nothing is going to happen. Once she can accept that, everything should fall into place in her head and everything should work out. Hope I helped! :)
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Yeah, until she opens her eyes, I don't think there's much anyone can do I guess. Thanks for the answer :)
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
dreamfields said:
If it was in the US, I could give u advice. But, I am not familiar with the legal system in India.
Have u spoken to your parents about the situation? Maybe family pressure could help. Are there any support groups for women? I think she and the kids need to get out from under his control. I would not reccomend her leaving though without somewhere veilig for them to stay.
Another possibility is to seek advice from a religous leader. I don't know which one u follow, but I would think they would be for protecting children and hopefully the mother also.
Sorry I cann't offer any better advice. I will pray for them. Good luck & God bless.
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posted een jaar geleden 
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That's the problem though. She doesn't have a veilig place to turn to. Thank u for your prayers :)
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
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Well that's what I was afraid of. Try to be available to listen to her and love her. One hard lesson I've learned is there are times we have to be willing to listen without talking. Eventually that builds trust where the other person will listen to what u say. Of course I will keep u all in my prayers.
dreamfields posted een jaar geleden
cuteypuffgirl said:
First of all I want to say I'm sorry. No human being should go through that pain.

Secondly, I believe your cousin keeps defending him because she loves him. A divorce could've worked but only if the latter would agree. u could call the cops and convince your cousin how her life would improve drastically if she turned him in because in the end domestic abuse is abuse. She needs to understand that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to but have to. The police are the only solution. That of talk some sense into your cousin and consult her parents and your parents. Best of luck.
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Thanks for the answer :)
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
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