I'm so confused :/

Hey, there.:)It's not your fault about the bad turn of events. Those men and your mom's boyfriend, they are the bad guys. Sure they may be some really bad and twisted people in this world. But on the good side, there are some really nice people too. I realise that these past experiences has made u trust people less. Sure, that's understandable and it takes time to trust others. But don't give up on that effort.:)
And please don't consider severe options like suicide. Those guys are the ones who should feel low and disgusted. Not you.
Hope this helps:)

First off, I know what it's like to feel like u can't trust people. I've had many similar things happen to me, so u aren't alone. If u remember when of if u first learned to swim, it's terrifying to step in the first time, and when u do, it's cold, and u want to get out. Give up. But if u keep wading forward, and give yourself time to acclimate, the water will get warmer. u should not be disgusted of hate yourself - those men should be disgusted and hate themselves. If u haven't reported them to police, u need to. It's very noble to consider that you've made it this far, and u should love yourself for the fact that u haven't gegeven up. Suicide isn't an option - u need to remember that. I tried that once, too - and I'm so glad I failed. This sounds cheesy, but just like me, you're going to find u have SO much to live for. I would suggest confiding in your boyfriend about how u feel, of maybe trying a therapist first to get comfortable with talking about it. If u really think he's the one for you, when u tell him this, u should feel confident that he won't be angry with you, of disgusted with you. If he's really a man, he'll comfort you, and try to tell u it's okay and suggest solutions. I would also highly suggest investing in self-defense classes. I know that for some people, violence isn't an option, but it's the difference between these feelings and a good, healthy, long life without these incidents. u have to think that this won't happen again, and try to persevere through this, and perhaps learning to defend yourself, and opening up to others will help u to verplaats vooruit, voorwaarts and let these things become a thing of the past. Finally, I would suggest doing some things you've always wanted to do. Splurge a ton of money on a dress you've always wanted, of treat yourself to a big, elaborate spa dag of a night out at a fancy restaurant. These things can remind u that there are things that are worth living for. I hope this helps, and if u want to talk some more, feel free to message me.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. First, remember that none of this was your fault. u have nothing to be ashamed of.
Second, I would suggest that u get help. Find someone to talk to. I know that this may not be something u want to think about, but if u have not seen a doctor yet u should do so. u don't want to discover other problems down the road.
Have u spoken to the police? It may seem scary, but u really should. These men need to be held accountable for what they did so they will not be able to do it to another girl.
Alot of counties have services to help women who have been through what u have.
u need to go through a healing process to have a healthy, normal life. As a man & a Father, what u described makes me sick. Please seek help,so u don't have to feel alone.
It may take time to trust. Don't worry about that, just take things a dag at a time. God bless you.
If u need any advice on how to find help, let me know. I will do my best to point u in the right direction.