1. Pilot
Serena: So, when's the party?
Blair: Saturday... and you're kinda not invited. Since, until 12 hours ago, we all thought u were at boarding school. And Jenny used up all the invites.
Blair: We should get going, unless u want us to wait for you. Looks like u got a lot of yogurt left.
Blair: Great. So, my dad left her for another man. She lost 15 pounds, got an eye lift. It's been good for her.
Serena: I love you, B.
Blair: I love you, too, S.
Blair: She better not toon her face again.
Chuck: I'm actually hoping she will.
2. The Wild brunch
Blair: I wonder if Nate remembered brunch. It would be so wrong to toon up without my boyfriend, who I love. And who loves me.
Serena: I'm really trying to make an effort here. I thought everything was good between us.
Blair: It was. Before I found out u had sex with my boyfriend.
Blair: u know, I always knew u were a whore. But I never knew u were a liar.
Blair: If u wanna be part of this world, Jenny, people will talk. Eventually. u gotta decide if all this is worth it.
Blair: What are u doing right now? How about me?
Blair: It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually a big deal to some of us.
3. Poison Ivy
Blair: Funny, Brown doesn't offer a degree in slut.
Blair: My father left my mother for a 31-year-old model. A male model.
4. Bad News Blair
Blair: Why am I mad? u mean, why aren't I furious?! I can't believe for one seconde I thought that it would be different this time.
Blair: What about this morning then? When u glanced at the call sheet, did u see my name on it? When I wasn't in hair and make-up, didn't that seem strange? When the dressing room only had your name on it, what, did u think they just forgot?
Blair: Because u take everything from me! Nate, my mom!
Serena: Blair!
Blair: u can't even help it. It's who u are. I just thought that maybe this time it would be different. I should have known I'd be wrong
Blair: Who dare interrupt the busje, van Der Woodsen as she teaches?!
Blair: Sorry, the number u dialed is no longer is service.
Serena: Stop it, who is it?
Blair: I'm doing u a favor.
Dan: Look I can hear you. Can I just please talk to Serena?
Blair: Apparently u can, cabbage patch
Blair: Maybe we should crash the shoot, anyway. See who they replaced me with. Make fun of that skinny b!tch.
Blair: u haven't done this since I was little.
Eleanor: u haven't been in bed door ten since u were little
5. Dare Devil
Blair: I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination. And if u refuse to come, I'm gonna need to find a replacement... girls, the waiting list?
Blair: That's nice, Little Humphrey. But, um, that's not how we play
Blair: Okay, I have a problem. I have a big problem! It starts with a capital RX.
Nurse: What drugs have u been taking?
Blair: Caffiene, Nicotine, Cadimine, Disprine, LSD, Driazapam, Flurazepam. All the pams really, I don't discriminate.
Blair: Martini.
Jenny: Oh, no thanks, I don't like Vodka.
Blair: Well thats great, because this is gin, as it should be
6. The Handmaiden's Tale
Blair: After everything that's happened - or, hasn't happened - I wanna make it special.
Blair: All I wanted was for us to start over. And u didn't even try.
Blair: Is that a bong, mother? I didn't take u for a stoner.
7. Victor Victrola
Blair: I don't want to talk about it. I just want to escape. That's what this place is for, right?
Blair: Yeah, let's talk about that masked ball. Let's talk about how I was waiting for u to find me so that we can finally be together, u were confessing your feelings and kissing Serena. I thought I was doing everything right.
Blair: Do u love me?... u should deal with your father. He needs you. u know what? I don't.
Blair: Game recognizes game, Little J. But u have to toon meer respect. This is the last time I'll help you. volgende time u kruis me, I won't be as forgiving.
Blair: So, I heard on Gossip Girl that u were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.
Serena: Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?
Blair: Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.
Blair: Well, it does have franchise potential. Chuck Bass, I do believe that all your years of underage boozing and womanizing have finally paid off. Truly, I am proud.
8. Seventeen Candles
Blair: Thank you, Father. That was very good advice.... u don't grant birthday wishes, do you?
Priest: I'm a priest, not a genie.
Blair: Well, the volgende time u talk to Him, could u ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me?
Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God.
Blair: Losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my vrienden will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever u and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, of putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas.
Blair: Go away, Chuck! I've been gegeven orders, practically from God himself, to avoid you.
Blair: No one knows that Nate and I broke up, and it's going to stay that way until I can fix this. And I don't think you're best friend would still be u best friend is he knew...
Blair: Well, erase the tape! Because as far as I'm concerned, it never happened.
Blair: You're officially uninvited.
Blair: Exactly my point. But even if she wasn't, when u get a boyfriend, u become the best friend and the best friend becomes the seconde best friend. That's just how it has to be, if it's ever going to work.
Blair: These butterflies have got to be murdered.
9. Blair Waldorf Must Pie!
Blair: I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, sleeping with him once, maybe I could understand. But twice?
Blair: Oh, so Nate gets a free pass and I'm the slut?
Serena: Tell me u didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge.
Blair: Well, it wasn't because I liked his natural musk. And, besides, nothing hurts meer than sleeping with the best friend. Right, S?
Blair: Your mom is freaking out, so my is freaking out.
Blair: If u think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
10. Hi, Society
Blair: u almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point; u can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman; he would never cause a scene.
Blair: Well, I can't be on you, remember? u don't want Nate to find out and I don't want anyone to. u have to learn how to behave yourself first.
Blair: Nate, after what u pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on.
11. Roman Holiday
Blair: I think u like Dan a little too much. But I should let u know, someone's watching. Merry Christmas!
Blair: Well, Roman, u are in for a treat because, the Waldorf Christmas is like no other.
Blair: There's no room in your life for me anymore.
Blair: I don't know. A single entrain a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Blair: I don't know, why don't u buy him a goud money for $49.99. He won't know the difference.
Blair: Chuck! u are not answering my calls. To torture me, I am sure. But, please! For the love of God, do not tell anybody about us. Okay? Please? Please.
Blair: Well, I'm sorry, mother. It's just not the same. I don't understand how that French vos, fox stal my father and your husband, and always seems to come off like an innocent lamb.
Blair: Roman doesn't even know how to ice skate. Can't u escort him out of the park on the way to your meeting? Maybe drop him off a nail salon...
Blair: Why don't u just buy a new outfit for Cedric and call it a day?
12. School Lies
Blair: u have no idea who you're dealing with.
Blair: I'll just tell him your lying. And u do u think he'll believe? u who bangs anything in his field of vision. of me, his pure and honest girlfriend of many years.
Blair: Enough with the blackmail, aren't u bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.
Blair: Isn't there someone else u can torture?
Blair: I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion. I did something stupid with someone and even worse than doing that stupid thing I did the same stupid thing with someone else and pretended I'd never done that stupid thing before. u look confused... should I walk u through it?
Blair: u are so naive. Michael Moore over there is obviously just using this film to get close to Dan.
13. A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate
Blair: I'm not pregnant. I command myself to not be pregnant.
Blair: I'm very stressed. And with u and Serena down my throat I can hardly see straight, never mind keep food down.
Blair: Maybe I am a total bitch. Ever think about that?
Blair: I'm not pregnant. So goodbye mistake, so far in my past I can hardly remember it.
Blair: If u go with them, I'll ruin you.
14. The Blair teef Project
Blair: Lady Godiva, my only friend.
Blair: But your hair looks disgusting. Did u even douche today?
Blair: rijst Krispie treats?
Blair: Brooklyn... I think that's in New York.
15. Desperately Seeking Serena
Blair: And have u seen Nelly Yuki's extracurriculars? I should kick her well-rounded ass.
Serena: Why do u keep saying her name?
Blair: Because it's Nelly Yuki!
Blair: Ew gross! Incoming, Chuck.
16. All About My Brother
Blair: All that matters to someone like Jenny right now are the 4 Gs, Guys, Girlfriends and Gossip Girl.
Blair: Right know Gossip Girl's credibility is like Tinsley Mortimer's after a few martinis.
Blair: It's your brotherly duty to keep her from becoming the volgende Katie Holmes.
Blair: What are u talking about? You're starting to scare me. Hey, hey, hey. We're sisters. You're my family. What is you, is me. There's nothing u could ever say to make me let go. I love you. What is it?
Blair: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes?
Blair: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like u couldn't afford it.
17. Woman On the Verge
Blair: We've seen u with vomit in your hair, making out with investment bankers in the men's room at PJ Clark's. u don't have to hide anything from us.
Blair: Yeah, I had sex with him in the back of a limo.
Blair: u can tell us anything. We don't judge. We're the non-judging Breakfast club. We're your best friends. Anything u do is something we did too.
Blair: Uh, I'm a big fan of lincoln Hawk?
18. Much I Do About Nothing
Blair: How? It's not like u every do anything athletic.
Chuck: Well, that's not entirely true, now is it?
Blair: Fine, nothing that involves removing your scarf.
Blair: Break a leg.
Chuck: I think I just did.
Blair: Ugh! They say when u hate something, u should slam the door in its face.
Blair: Haven't u heard? I'm the crazy teef around here.
Blair: Don't worry, I can be a teef enough for both of us.
Blair: Oh, you're not alone Georgina. I'm here now. And I brought some people who really really want to see you. I think u remember your parents.
Blair: Chuck bas, bass is a romantic, who knew?
Chuck: u don't belong to Nate. Never have, never will.
Blair: u never belong to anyone.
Blair: No one ever enjoys their first time.
*********************
Sorry, that it's so long, but Blair has a lot of awsome lines :]
Serena: So, when's the party?
Blair: Saturday... and you're kinda not invited. Since, until 12 hours ago, we all thought u were at boarding school. And Jenny used up all the invites.
Blair: We should get going, unless u want us to wait for you. Looks like u got a lot of yogurt left.
Blair: Great. So, my dad left her for another man. She lost 15 pounds, got an eye lift. It's been good for her.
Serena: I love you, B.
Blair: I love you, too, S.
Blair: She better not toon her face again.
Chuck: I'm actually hoping she will.
2. The Wild brunch
Blair: I wonder if Nate remembered brunch. It would be so wrong to toon up without my boyfriend, who I love. And who loves me.
Serena: I'm really trying to make an effort here. I thought everything was good between us.
Blair: It was. Before I found out u had sex with my boyfriend.
Blair: u know, I always knew u were a whore. But I never knew u were a liar.
Blair: If u wanna be part of this world, Jenny, people will talk. Eventually. u gotta decide if all this is worth it.
Blair: What are u doing right now? How about me?
Blair: It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually a big deal to some of us.
3. Poison Ivy
Blair: Funny, Brown doesn't offer a degree in slut.
Blair: My father left my mother for a 31-year-old model. A male model.
4. Bad News Blair
Blair: Why am I mad? u mean, why aren't I furious?! I can't believe for one seconde I thought that it would be different this time.
Blair: What about this morning then? When u glanced at the call sheet, did u see my name on it? When I wasn't in hair and make-up, didn't that seem strange? When the dressing room only had your name on it, what, did u think they just forgot?
Blair: Because u take everything from me! Nate, my mom!
Serena: Blair!
Blair: u can't even help it. It's who u are. I just thought that maybe this time it would be different. I should have known I'd be wrong
Blair: Who dare interrupt the busje, van Der Woodsen as she teaches?!
Blair: Sorry, the number u dialed is no longer is service.
Serena: Stop it, who is it?
Blair: I'm doing u a favor.
Dan: Look I can hear you. Can I just please talk to Serena?
Blair: Apparently u can, cabbage patch
Blair: Maybe we should crash the shoot, anyway. See who they replaced me with. Make fun of that skinny b!tch.
Blair: u haven't done this since I was little.
Eleanor: u haven't been in bed door ten since u were little
5. Dare Devil
Blair: I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination. And if u refuse to come, I'm gonna need to find a replacement... girls, the waiting list?
Blair: That's nice, Little Humphrey. But, um, that's not how we play
Blair: Okay, I have a problem. I have a big problem! It starts with a capital RX.
Nurse: What drugs have u been taking?
Blair: Caffiene, Nicotine, Cadimine, Disprine, LSD, Driazapam, Flurazepam. All the pams really, I don't discriminate.
Blair: Martini.
Jenny: Oh, no thanks, I don't like Vodka.
Blair: Well thats great, because this is gin, as it should be
6. The Handmaiden's Tale
Blair: After everything that's happened - or, hasn't happened - I wanna make it special.
Blair: All I wanted was for us to start over. And u didn't even try.
Blair: Is that a bong, mother? I didn't take u for a stoner.
7. Victor Victrola
Blair: I don't want to talk about it. I just want to escape. That's what this place is for, right?
Blair: Yeah, let's talk about that masked ball. Let's talk about how I was waiting for u to find me so that we can finally be together, u were confessing your feelings and kissing Serena. I thought I was doing everything right.
Blair: Do u love me?... u should deal with your father. He needs you. u know what? I don't.
Blair: Game recognizes game, Little J. But u have to toon meer respect. This is the last time I'll help you. volgende time u kruis me, I won't be as forgiving.
Blair: So, I heard on Gossip Girl that u were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.
Serena: Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?
Blair: Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.
Blair: Well, it does have franchise potential. Chuck Bass, I do believe that all your years of underage boozing and womanizing have finally paid off. Truly, I am proud.
8. Seventeen Candles
Blair: Thank you, Father. That was very good advice.... u don't grant birthday wishes, do you?
Priest: I'm a priest, not a genie.
Blair: Well, the volgende time u talk to Him, could u ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me?
Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God.
Blair: Losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my vrienden will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever u and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, of putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas.
Blair: Go away, Chuck! I've been gegeven orders, practically from God himself, to avoid you.
Blair: No one knows that Nate and I broke up, and it's going to stay that way until I can fix this. And I don't think you're best friend would still be u best friend is he knew...
Blair: Well, erase the tape! Because as far as I'm concerned, it never happened.
Blair: You're officially uninvited.
Blair: Exactly my point. But even if she wasn't, when u get a boyfriend, u become the best friend and the best friend becomes the seconde best friend. That's just how it has to be, if it's ever going to work.
Blair: These butterflies have got to be murdered.
9. Blair Waldorf Must Pie!
Blair: I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, sleeping with him once, maybe I could understand. But twice?
Blair: Oh, so Nate gets a free pass and I'm the slut?
Serena: Tell me u didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge.
Blair: Well, it wasn't because I liked his natural musk. And, besides, nothing hurts meer than sleeping with the best friend. Right, S?
Blair: Your mom is freaking out, so my is freaking out.
Blair: If u think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
10. Hi, Society
Blair: u almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point; u can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman; he would never cause a scene.
Blair: Well, I can't be on you, remember? u don't want Nate to find out and I don't want anyone to. u have to learn how to behave yourself first.
Blair: Nate, after what u pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on.
11. Roman Holiday
Blair: I think u like Dan a little too much. But I should let u know, someone's watching. Merry Christmas!
Blair: Well, Roman, u are in for a treat because, the Waldorf Christmas is like no other.
Blair: There's no room in your life for me anymore.
Blair: I don't know. A single entrain a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Blair: I don't know, why don't u buy him a goud money for $49.99. He won't know the difference.
Blair: Chuck! u are not answering my calls. To torture me, I am sure. But, please! For the love of God, do not tell anybody about us. Okay? Please? Please.
Blair: Well, I'm sorry, mother. It's just not the same. I don't understand how that French vos, fox stal my father and your husband, and always seems to come off like an innocent lamb.
Blair: Roman doesn't even know how to ice skate. Can't u escort him out of the park on the way to your meeting? Maybe drop him off a nail salon...
Blair: Why don't u just buy a new outfit for Cedric and call it a day?
12. School Lies
Blair: u have no idea who you're dealing with.
Blair: I'll just tell him your lying. And u do u think he'll believe? u who bangs anything in his field of vision. of me, his pure and honest girlfriend of many years.
Blair: Enough with the blackmail, aren't u bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.
Blair: Isn't there someone else u can torture?
Blair: I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion. I did something stupid with someone and even worse than doing that stupid thing I did the same stupid thing with someone else and pretended I'd never done that stupid thing before. u look confused... should I walk u through it?
Blair: u are so naive. Michael Moore over there is obviously just using this film to get close to Dan.
13. A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate
Blair: I'm not pregnant. I command myself to not be pregnant.
Blair: I'm very stressed. And with u and Serena down my throat I can hardly see straight, never mind keep food down.
Blair: Maybe I am a total bitch. Ever think about that?
Blair: I'm not pregnant. So goodbye mistake, so far in my past I can hardly remember it.
Blair: If u go with them, I'll ruin you.
14. The Blair teef Project
Blair: Lady Godiva, my only friend.
Blair: But your hair looks disgusting. Did u even douche today?
Blair: rijst Krispie treats?
Blair: Brooklyn... I think that's in New York.
15. Desperately Seeking Serena
Blair: And have u seen Nelly Yuki's extracurriculars? I should kick her well-rounded ass.
Serena: Why do u keep saying her name?
Blair: Because it's Nelly Yuki!
Blair: Ew gross! Incoming, Chuck.
16. All About My Brother
Blair: All that matters to someone like Jenny right now are the 4 Gs, Guys, Girlfriends and Gossip Girl.
Blair: Right know Gossip Girl's credibility is like Tinsley Mortimer's after a few martinis.
Blair: It's your brotherly duty to keep her from becoming the volgende Katie Holmes.
Blair: What are u talking about? You're starting to scare me. Hey, hey, hey. We're sisters. You're my family. What is you, is me. There's nothing u could ever say to make me let go. I love you. What is it?
Blair: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes?
Blair: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like u couldn't afford it.
17. Woman On the Verge
Blair: We've seen u with vomit in your hair, making out with investment bankers in the men's room at PJ Clark's. u don't have to hide anything from us.
Blair: Yeah, I had sex with him in the back of a limo.
Blair: u can tell us anything. We don't judge. We're the non-judging Breakfast club. We're your best friends. Anything u do is something we did too.
Blair: Uh, I'm a big fan of lincoln Hawk?
18. Much I Do About Nothing
Blair: How? It's not like u every do anything athletic.
Chuck: Well, that's not entirely true, now is it?
Blair: Fine, nothing that involves removing your scarf.
Blair: Break a leg.
Chuck: I think I just did.
Blair: Ugh! They say when u hate something, u should slam the door in its face.
Blair: Haven't u heard? I'm the crazy teef around here.
Blair: Don't worry, I can be a teef enough for both of us.
Blair: Oh, you're not alone Georgina. I'm here now. And I brought some people who really really want to see you. I think u remember your parents.
Blair: Chuck bas, bass is a romantic, who knew?
Chuck: u don't belong to Nate. Never have, never will.
Blair: u never belong to anyone.
Blair: No one ever enjoys their first time.
*********************
Sorry, that it's so long, but Blair has a lot of awsome lines :]