u start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom to practise your shunpo power.
u write to your mother in Karakura, Japan every week, even though she sends u mail from Iowa asking why u never write.
Every time u see a straat sign, u have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.
u put oranges on your head because u heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.
You're always having to apologize to your volgende door neighbour for setting brand to his lawn decorations, mistaken as hollows.
Every "bwahaha" u hear on the radio reminds u of death.
People stay away from u whenever they hear u howl.
Your breath smells meer and meer like an arrancar dung each passing day.
Nobody listens to u anymore, because they can't understand u through that hollow mask.
u begin to stop and consider all of the hell butterflies you've played on as a child, and worry that their owners are going to one dag seek revenge.
u have meaningful conversations with your Bunny.
Your father pretends u are a shinigami, just to play along with your little illusion.
u collect Bleach Posters.
Every time the phone rings, u shout, "Hey! It should be the hollow signal alert!"
u like cats. Especially black ones having velvet eyes.
u put kers-, cherry blossom petals in the microwave to see if they'll pop a blade.
u have a predominant fear of fabric softener.
Your dentist asks u why each individual tooth has your name etched on it like Toshiro, Byakuya, Rukia, Ichigo..., and u tell him it's for security reasons.
Swords excite you.
When the waiter asks for your order, u ask to go into another dimension to tell him because "the hollow won't let u eat."
u tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.
u argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten door FURA of to be loved door a horde of menos grande.
u like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a "Shinigami on duty".
u try to make a lijst of the Warning Signs of Bleach Insanity. (cough)
People offer u help, but u unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a strawberry.
u keep thinking this is the jaar 100 years ago, when Hollowfication was rampant.
u despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only in JApanese.
u see migrating group of rabbits in the fall and only your attachment to the tosti apparaat, broodrooster keeps u from joining them.
The person u always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.
u like reading lists like this.
