Christian Bale: Hot of Not?
By Ted Berg

Christian Bale’s beauty cannot be put into words, but I will try.

That which does not kill Christian Bale only makes him hotter.

Before I expound, let me state for the record that I am a fiercely heterosexual man. I have engaged one woman to marry me and spend every morning on the subway attempting to engage several others in mutual eye contact. And it’s not because I am in any way nefarious. I am loyal; I just want women to acknowledge me in some small way because I find them mesmerizing. Achingly beautiful.

Just not quite as beautiful as Christian Bale....