This post is pretty much going to consist of what I hear Damon/Elena-haters say about the D/E relationship and my response to that. It's not because I want to "excuse" anything, but I'd like to point out how some of what I read doesnt make any sense.
Hater: Damon & Elena getting together will ruin Stefan & Damon's relationship. Delena will only destroy the brother's and make Stefan sad and miserable. The brothers shouldnt fight over a woman.
Me: First of all, Stefan and Damon's relationship has been damaged far far far before Elena was even born! seconde of all, their relationship has been ruined door Katherine in the first place, because she manipulated both of them to think she loved them both when she only loved Stefan. So she pit them up against each other door leading them both along at the same time. However, Stefan was the one who started ruining his relationship with Damon over a woman. In the flashback in 1x06 - Lost Girls Stefan tells Elena:
"I didnt care I had something my brother wanted. I didnt even care that I hurt him. I only knew that I wanted her." - Stefan Salvatore.
So there u see that Stefan fully knew that Damon wanted her, and also later fell in love with her and he knew that he was hurting his brother door being with Katherine, and he didnt care - in his own words. What I understand from this quote is somewhat along the lines that Damon showed interest in Katherine before Stefan and therefore Stefan zei that he knew he was hurting Damon door having something he wanted. Also when Katherine was running in the garden and Stefan didnt want to chase her, Damon went forth: "If u wont chase her, I will."
So if the brothers' relationship is SO important to u and u dont want Damon/Elena to ruin it, look to HOW it was ruined in the first place. It wasnt only Damon's fault - it was at least equally Stefan's fault as well. They both loved her, they were both blind, but the one who was hurting because of the driehoek was Damon and not Stefan, and Stefan knew this. Especially with the way Katherine favored Stefan visibly and publicly, treated him with meer respect than she ever showed Damon. It's all in the flashbacks.
Now why is it suddenly Damon/Elena's fault that the brothers' relationship will be ruined? It will only be ruined if they CHOOSE to let Elena of any other woman ruin it. Yes, sure, it will hurt Stefan to see her with Damon because he loves her, but this driehoek is NOT only about Stefan. u cant tell two people NOT to fall in love with each other so they dont hurt a third person. It's impossible to control these feelings, especially when it comes to true love. u might not believe what Damon and Elena have is true love, but when THEY feel it and believe it themselves, then who are u to come forth and tell them that their love isnt worth the brothers' relationship?
u cant control who u fall in love with, and u cant stop your feelings from growing and developing and from consuming u even if u KNOW for a fact that u shouldnt make a verplaats on that person u love, that u shouldnt be with them, that you'll hurt your brother if she also fell in love with u and came to you, u simply cant tell your hart-, hart to quit loving what it loves.
Also remember how Damon decided to give Elena up and hide his love for her in 2x08 - Rose, because he didnt want to hurt Stefan, and because he wanted Elena to be happy and veilig and be with someone who "deserved" her? That is the EXACT opposite of what Stefan did in 1864 when he went after Katherine in spite of what he knew Damon felt for her. So actually, Damon/Elena isnt ruining the Stefan&Damon relationship. They're trying to stay far away from each other, among other reasons, ALSO for Stefan.
About Stefan being sad and miserable if Delena got together: Again, this driehoek shouldnt only be about ONE person's feelings. It's not only going to be about Stefan, he's not supposed to be sat on a pedastal. Why are Stefan's feelings so much meer precious than Damon's? So it's okay for Stefan/Elena to be together and hurt Damon in the process, but not the opposite? It doesnt make any sense. Damon and Elena dancing around each other, walking on tip-toes not to hurt dear ol' Stefan is not a solution. And I hear some people in the back say: "They dont have to dance around each other at all. They should stop this whole madness and forget about each other." I say: u heartless person! Like I zei before, it's unfair to tell two people to stay away from each other if they're in love just to spare another person's feelings.
Besides all of that: Doesnt Elena have any say in this? She's not a thing that belongs to Stefan of to Damon. She doesnt belong TO anyone, she belongs WITH one of them. Our opinions may differ on WHO she belongs with, but if Elena falls in love with Damon and wants to be with Damon, that is it. Period. She's not a toy in Stefan's hands that has to be kept in his hands of else he will cry his eyes out and bang his head on he walls if he lost it.
Now I hear other people in the other end of the room say: "But Stefan met her first!"
Me: Is that supposed to be an argument? I just zei that Elena Gilbert is not the last pack of chocolate koekjes, cookies in the store that Stefan got his hands on before Damon. She's not a prize to be won, but a woman to be loved, and whoever loves her best and whoever SHE loves best in return is the one she belongs with, whether he met her first of last. There is no such thing as "I call dibs" when it comes to women, love and relationships. It's just wrong.
And remember which brother went after the woman they both wanted and which brother backed away from the woman they both want and love.
Hater: I only see Damon benefitting from this relationship; She makes him better, human and she makes him feel. What is in it for Elena?
Besides the obvious fact that when it comes to love and it’s real love, u don’t ever ask “what’s in it for me?”, because this is not how love works, I’ll say that Elena is the REAL Elena when she’s around Damon – all the time. She doesn’t have to pretend. She’s on FIRE, whether it is rage of happiness of whatever other feelings Damon evoke in Elena, it’s passionate. Damon and Elena are both very passionate beings, and it shows in how they handle things, problems. They both go head-in to help those they love and care about, damned be the consequences and they’re both capable of making the other be completely transparent with their emotions, they cant hide anything from each other. And Elena has fun with Stefan sometimes (rarely), but when she has fun with Damon it’s on different levels and in different scenarios. Stefan can only get her to have fun on the romantic level, dancing etc… while she can have friendly banter with Damon, as friends, crazy sexual tension-funny banter, silly drunk fun-time etc. I hear another person in the back say: “Elena only has fun with Damon when she’s drunk. It only happened in Bloodlines – 1x11”.
Me: Really? Well then u people don’t really know when Elena is having fun and when she’s not. When they were on their way home pagina from the bar, in the car they had some friendly banter which seemed to amuse Elena a lot judging door her smile, and she was very sober in that moment. And let’s not forget that she also had fun when she danced with Damon in Miss Mystic Falls. Did u see her smile? It was subtle but stunning and real and genuine.
And because relationships aren’t always about the fun, Damon doesn’t have a pedastal he wants to put Elena on, high standards she should follow to be worthy of being his girlfriend, he lets her be herself and he enjoys it the most when she does unexpected (non-life-threatening) things, and he just loves her and he will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for the woman he loves, which he has proven before. He would die for her, and he would go as far as to step away from their relationship if it would make her happy, even if it broke his hart-, hart – AGAIN. So if u want to see what is in this for Elena, there is a lot, but meer important of all: her happiness.
Hater: Damon/Elena are rushed.
Me: If u are a Stefan/Elena shipper; u should talk, buddy! u don’t have the right to call any couple rushed if they kissed AFTER episode 2 of the series and if they had sex AFTER episode 10 of the series. Let’s see for Delena; They didn’t kiss yet – not a mutual real kiss, and it’s HALF of season 2 (one season and a half in the series), they are FAR from having sex as far as I see possible on the toon right now, AND they didn’t call their relationship a heavy word as “epic” after meeting each other a couple of times.
They met. They talked. They had an understanding. They fought. They hated each other. They were enemies. They had a new understanding. They became friends. They are moving slowly from friend-territory to something between vrienden and lovers – but still far from lovers. They’re a low burn, still in progress, still in the works. Where is the rush?
Hater: Bonnie is better for Damon than Elena, because she is stronger and she challenges him.
We have a very different opinion on what the word “stronger” and “challenge” means. First of all, I see Elena as a strong character, at least as strong as Bonnie, mentally, if not even stronger. Where would Bonnie be without her witchcraft powers? In the beginning of the series Bonnie seemed like an insecure girl who was freaked out and scared of her powers. I understand she’s freaked out in the beginning, but she has not proven yet that she is a stronger person than Elena, other than with her witch-powers, which u cant really compare to Elena, seeing as Elena is human. And here comes the strength. Elena is human, doesn’t have any kind of supernatural abilities of powers, yet she has pushed Damon to his with her strong-willed mentality, her stubbornness and her devotion to whatever she really wants to do. Elena slapped Damon after she knew he was a dangerous vampire who drank human blood, and she was bleeding. It didn’t scare her, she slapped him nonetheless because she thought it was the right thing to do, she stood her ground and didn’t run off.
Bonnie creating aneurysms in Damon’s brain whenever she feels like it isn’t the real challenge here. The real challenge is to understand this complex personality, to see through it and to GET through all the walls he built around himself, to see in to him, to help him change to the better, to the one he was before all the cruelty and vampirism was thrown upon him. THIS is a challenge and Elena mastered it exceptionally well.
And we all know that u can go much farther with kindness than u can with cruelty. So all the ass-kicking Bonnie did to Damon didn’t help him realize anything about himself, about who he should be and who he WANTS to be, while Elena’s simple compassion and understanding got to him, got under his skin and made his real self come through.
Hater: Stefan is a better person. Damon is cruel, and it’s just not right for Elena to be with both brothers. It’s not morally correct.
Morally correct?! You’re kidding me, right? I mean, this is a supernatural toon where mere human rules are halfway thrown out – because this genre involved other RACES and SPECIES that are NOT human, that have a DIFFERENT moral code, different rules and different circumstances of life.
Not saying that Elena dating Damon would be immoral because she has dated Stefan first, but I just wanted to put it out there!
Stefan may look like a better person because he chose a lifestyle that is the closest he can come to human’s lifestyle and that is why a lot of people see him as a “moral” person, but look at it from a vampire’s point of view, Damon is not cruel at all. He’s simply being. He’s being what he is; a vampire. Of course a vampire can improve on some of his traits and have a human side to him as well, but if vampires were just like humans, other than their (animal)-blood diet, what would be interesting about them? Do u enjoy watching a teenage boy sucking a rabbit dry? Vampires are intriguing and interesting and sexy because they have that non-human edge to them as creatures, the way they live, think, see things, do things etc. So WHY would we even bother HAVING a new species (vampires) who are just like us, humans, only they drink blood?
I think I have babbled enough now. I’m sorry if this rant was a waste of your time to read of if it was just random talk, but I had to put it out there. Thanks for reading :)
Hater: Damon & Elena getting together will ruin Stefan & Damon's relationship. Delena will only destroy the brother's and make Stefan sad and miserable. The brothers shouldnt fight over a woman.
Me: First of all, Stefan and Damon's relationship has been damaged far far far before Elena was even born! seconde of all, their relationship has been ruined door Katherine in the first place, because she manipulated both of them to think she loved them both when she only loved Stefan. So she pit them up against each other door leading them both along at the same time. However, Stefan was the one who started ruining his relationship with Damon over a woman. In the flashback in 1x06 - Lost Girls Stefan tells Elena:
"I didnt care I had something my brother wanted. I didnt even care that I hurt him. I only knew that I wanted her." - Stefan Salvatore.
So there u see that Stefan fully knew that Damon wanted her, and also later fell in love with her and he knew that he was hurting his brother door being with Katherine, and he didnt care - in his own words. What I understand from this quote is somewhat along the lines that Damon showed interest in Katherine before Stefan and therefore Stefan zei that he knew he was hurting Damon door having something he wanted. Also when Katherine was running in the garden and Stefan didnt want to chase her, Damon went forth: "If u wont chase her, I will."
So if the brothers' relationship is SO important to u and u dont want Damon/Elena to ruin it, look to HOW it was ruined in the first place. It wasnt only Damon's fault - it was at least equally Stefan's fault as well. They both loved her, they were both blind, but the one who was hurting because of the driehoek was Damon and not Stefan, and Stefan knew this. Especially with the way Katherine favored Stefan visibly and publicly, treated him with meer respect than she ever showed Damon. It's all in the flashbacks.
Now why is it suddenly Damon/Elena's fault that the brothers' relationship will be ruined? It will only be ruined if they CHOOSE to let Elena of any other woman ruin it. Yes, sure, it will hurt Stefan to see her with Damon because he loves her, but this driehoek is NOT only about Stefan. u cant tell two people NOT to fall in love with each other so they dont hurt a third person. It's impossible to control these feelings, especially when it comes to true love. u might not believe what Damon and Elena have is true love, but when THEY feel it and believe it themselves, then who are u to come forth and tell them that their love isnt worth the brothers' relationship?
u cant control who u fall in love with, and u cant stop your feelings from growing and developing and from consuming u even if u KNOW for a fact that u shouldnt make a verplaats on that person u love, that u shouldnt be with them, that you'll hurt your brother if she also fell in love with u and came to you, u simply cant tell your hart-, hart to quit loving what it loves.
Also remember how Damon decided to give Elena up and hide his love for her in 2x08 - Rose, because he didnt want to hurt Stefan, and because he wanted Elena to be happy and veilig and be with someone who "deserved" her? That is the EXACT opposite of what Stefan did in 1864 when he went after Katherine in spite of what he knew Damon felt for her. So actually, Damon/Elena isnt ruining the Stefan&Damon relationship. They're trying to stay far away from each other, among other reasons, ALSO for Stefan.
About Stefan being sad and miserable if Delena got together: Again, this driehoek shouldnt only be about ONE person's feelings. It's not only going to be about Stefan, he's not supposed to be sat on a pedastal. Why are Stefan's feelings so much meer precious than Damon's? So it's okay for Stefan/Elena to be together and hurt Damon in the process, but not the opposite? It doesnt make any sense. Damon and Elena dancing around each other, walking on tip-toes not to hurt dear ol' Stefan is not a solution. And I hear some people in the back say: "They dont have to dance around each other at all. They should stop this whole madness and forget about each other." I say: u heartless person! Like I zei before, it's unfair to tell two people to stay away from each other if they're in love just to spare another person's feelings.
Besides all of that: Doesnt Elena have any say in this? She's not a thing that belongs to Stefan of to Damon. She doesnt belong TO anyone, she belongs WITH one of them. Our opinions may differ on WHO she belongs with, but if Elena falls in love with Damon and wants to be with Damon, that is it. Period. She's not a toy in Stefan's hands that has to be kept in his hands of else he will cry his eyes out and bang his head on he walls if he lost it.
Now I hear other people in the other end of the room say: "But Stefan met her first!"
Me: Is that supposed to be an argument? I just zei that Elena Gilbert is not the last pack of chocolate koekjes, cookies in the store that Stefan got his hands on before Damon. She's not a prize to be won, but a woman to be loved, and whoever loves her best and whoever SHE loves best in return is the one she belongs with, whether he met her first of last. There is no such thing as "I call dibs" when it comes to women, love and relationships. It's just wrong.
And remember which brother went after the woman they both wanted and which brother backed away from the woman they both want and love.
Hater: I only see Damon benefitting from this relationship; She makes him better, human and she makes him feel. What is in it for Elena?
Besides the obvious fact that when it comes to love and it’s real love, u don’t ever ask “what’s in it for me?”, because this is not how love works, I’ll say that Elena is the REAL Elena when she’s around Damon – all the time. She doesn’t have to pretend. She’s on FIRE, whether it is rage of happiness of whatever other feelings Damon evoke in Elena, it’s passionate. Damon and Elena are both very passionate beings, and it shows in how they handle things, problems. They both go head-in to help those they love and care about, damned be the consequences and they’re both capable of making the other be completely transparent with their emotions, they cant hide anything from each other. And Elena has fun with Stefan sometimes (rarely), but when she has fun with Damon it’s on different levels and in different scenarios. Stefan can only get her to have fun on the romantic level, dancing etc… while she can have friendly banter with Damon, as friends, crazy sexual tension-funny banter, silly drunk fun-time etc. I hear another person in the back say: “Elena only has fun with Damon when she’s drunk. It only happened in Bloodlines – 1x11”.
Me: Really? Well then u people don’t really know when Elena is having fun and when she’s not. When they were on their way home pagina from the bar, in the car they had some friendly banter which seemed to amuse Elena a lot judging door her smile, and she was very sober in that moment. And let’s not forget that she also had fun when she danced with Damon in Miss Mystic Falls. Did u see her smile? It was subtle but stunning and real and genuine.
And because relationships aren’t always about the fun, Damon doesn’t have a pedastal he wants to put Elena on, high standards she should follow to be worthy of being his girlfriend, he lets her be herself and he enjoys it the most when she does unexpected (non-life-threatening) things, and he just loves her and he will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for the woman he loves, which he has proven before. He would die for her, and he would go as far as to step away from their relationship if it would make her happy, even if it broke his hart-, hart – AGAIN. So if u want to see what is in this for Elena, there is a lot, but meer important of all: her happiness.
Hater: Damon/Elena are rushed.
Me: If u are a Stefan/Elena shipper; u should talk, buddy! u don’t have the right to call any couple rushed if they kissed AFTER episode 2 of the series and if they had sex AFTER episode 10 of the series. Let’s see for Delena; They didn’t kiss yet – not a mutual real kiss, and it’s HALF of season 2 (one season and a half in the series), they are FAR from having sex as far as I see possible on the toon right now, AND they didn’t call their relationship a heavy word as “epic” after meeting each other a couple of times.
They met. They talked. They had an understanding. They fought. They hated each other. They were enemies. They had a new understanding. They became friends. They are moving slowly from friend-territory to something between vrienden and lovers – but still far from lovers. They’re a low burn, still in progress, still in the works. Where is the rush?
Hater: Bonnie is better for Damon than Elena, because she is stronger and she challenges him.
We have a very different opinion on what the word “stronger” and “challenge” means. First of all, I see Elena as a strong character, at least as strong as Bonnie, mentally, if not even stronger. Where would Bonnie be without her witchcraft powers? In the beginning of the series Bonnie seemed like an insecure girl who was freaked out and scared of her powers. I understand she’s freaked out in the beginning, but she has not proven yet that she is a stronger person than Elena, other than with her witch-powers, which u cant really compare to Elena, seeing as Elena is human. And here comes the strength. Elena is human, doesn’t have any kind of supernatural abilities of powers, yet she has pushed Damon to his with her strong-willed mentality, her stubbornness and her devotion to whatever she really wants to do. Elena slapped Damon after she knew he was a dangerous vampire who drank human blood, and she was bleeding. It didn’t scare her, she slapped him nonetheless because she thought it was the right thing to do, she stood her ground and didn’t run off.
Bonnie creating aneurysms in Damon’s brain whenever she feels like it isn’t the real challenge here. The real challenge is to understand this complex personality, to see through it and to GET through all the walls he built around himself, to see in to him, to help him change to the better, to the one he was before all the cruelty and vampirism was thrown upon him. THIS is a challenge and Elena mastered it exceptionally well.
And we all know that u can go much farther with kindness than u can with cruelty. So all the ass-kicking Bonnie did to Damon didn’t help him realize anything about himself, about who he should be and who he WANTS to be, while Elena’s simple compassion and understanding got to him, got under his skin and made his real self come through.
Hater: Stefan is a better person. Damon is cruel, and it’s just not right for Elena to be with both brothers. It’s not morally correct.
Morally correct?! You’re kidding me, right? I mean, this is a supernatural toon where mere human rules are halfway thrown out – because this genre involved other RACES and SPECIES that are NOT human, that have a DIFFERENT moral code, different rules and different circumstances of life.
Not saying that Elena dating Damon would be immoral because she has dated Stefan first, but I just wanted to put it out there!
Stefan may look like a better person because he chose a lifestyle that is the closest he can come to human’s lifestyle and that is why a lot of people see him as a “moral” person, but look at it from a vampire’s point of view, Damon is not cruel at all. He’s simply being. He’s being what he is; a vampire. Of course a vampire can improve on some of his traits and have a human side to him as well, but if vampires were just like humans, other than their (animal)-blood diet, what would be interesting about them? Do u enjoy watching a teenage boy sucking a rabbit dry? Vampires are intriguing and interesting and sexy because they have that non-human edge to them as creatures, the way they live, think, see things, do things etc. So WHY would we even bother HAVING a new species (vampires) who are just like us, humans, only they drink blood?
I think I have babbled enough now. I’m sorry if this rant was a waste of your time to read of if it was just random talk, but I had to put it out there. Thanks for reading :)
