This is an EXTRA SAD chapter. Get ready with tissues and a lot of chocolate.
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"Learning how to say Goodbye"

Chapter 4: The Wedding. House POV


The wedding march begins to resound throughout the church. The guests get up and slowly turn to the wooden door. And when it opens, the smiles on their faces let my imagination run free to picture you.

I'm hidden in the most remote part of the church, hoping that u will not see me, hoping not to make u sad on your wedding day.

Today I'm not wearing my usual jeans and un-ironed shirt. I'm wearing a tuxedo, but you'll never know this. Even the guests won't see it, because I plan on leaving before u can say the two words that will end everything.

While I see u moving vooruit, voorwaarts with that wonderful dress I think what a lucky man Lucas is. Wilson is volgende to you, accompanying u down the aisle. I laugh because he is meer nervous than you. u look vooruit, voorwaarts impassively. Wilson looks rather uncertain, as if he can make u think about going back. But u give him a little nudge, and he returns his gaze to the altar where Lucas awaits you.

I do not know if you're making the right choice, but I hope you're happy with him. I hope u can have your own family, the family that u have wanted for your entire life.

And every single step u take towards the altar makes the memories come to my mind, meer vivid than ever.

I am an idiot, I know. I've spent the last twenty years hiding from you, secretly following you, sabotaging u whenever I could without being overly malicious. And for all these years we have done nothing but build a uithangbord between us, between the past and the present and the future. We must admit to ourselves that we broke through the uithangbord a couple of times. All the times that we have spent together, I think I will miss them all. Well, I'll miss you. I would never admit it to anyone, but I took the biggest step: I admitted to myself.

Now Wilson is kissing your hand. He walks down from the altar and sits with the other guests. I can see his tears. I laugh to myself again - he's too emotional. I think he would have been better off if he'd been born as a woman. I haven't even told him that I am here. I have kept it a secret from everyone: I zei that I would never come to the wedding and that I would leave after we lost our chance. Oh god! I'm pathetic. Mayfield has made me become emotional! Well, maybe it's not that bad. I've learned so many things over the years that I had never been taught in all my years of study. I know how to love someone, I realized my mistake, I deleted a part of my life and now I'm redoing part of it. And I'm losing you. This time it's forever.

u are at the altar and the most amazing thing is to watch u in that beautiful dress. Well, even without that dress you're beautiful. I impassively watch the priest and your future husband. u don't look happy. I haven't even seen u smile. Give me a sign; tell me that you're happy, that we are not making the greatest mistake of your life. I need u to do something. I need u to let me leave this place with the certainty that you're happy and u do not need me anymore.

It's time for the rings. Rachel has just started walking, accompanied door your sister, bringing the rings. I can still see Wilson, comforting your mother. She weeps with joy for this moment in your life. But u do not cry of smile. Who knows what is going through your head.

Rachel finally reaches you. Julia takes the rings and puts them on the tafel, tabel volgende to you. He takes your hand and, while expressing his love, he slips the ring on your finger. Now you're taking his ring from the table. I get up and walk outside the church. I don't want to see the scene happening behind me. I want to go out and avoid this thing. I realize it's a bit masochistic on my part to be here. I open the door and go out, just in time not to hear u speak your vows. I walk along the corridor to where Nolan is waiting for me.

I'm leaving again. u don't need me anymore. Since I've known u were getting married I'd wondered how I would live afterwards. I considered various options: returning to Mayfield, moving to another state, I also thought about suicide. I tried but I failed.

"Can we stop door the hospital for a minute?"
"Of course Greg."
"Thanks."

We climb into the car and go to the hospital. I walk past the automatic doors and into your office. I leave a letter for you, hoping that you'll read it and not throw it in the trash.

Lisa
All your nightmares are gone. Now begins your new life.

Unless this is not the life u want.

House

P.S. Your dress was fabulous. You're beautiful.


Nolan approaches me.

"Are u sure?"
"No ..."
"I can wait as long as u need me to. Take all the time u want of need..."
"I'm ok. I have to leave."
"Why do u want to go back to Mayfield?"
"It's the first place that came to my mind."
"Greg ..."
"No. I have to go back there."
"I'll ask my vraag again: are u sure about this whole thing?"
"No."
"Ok. I'll wait for u in the car."

I look at your desk, the one I brought here with your mother's help. At least you'll remember me. I look at the foto's u have framed. I take a picture of u and Rachel. I hope u don't mind.

I leave your office for the last time.

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volgende chapter will be up tomorrow morning (Italian time). Get ready for Cuddy's POV.

Lemme know what u think. commentaren are always meer that appreciated!

xxx

-Sissi