Mother was a handful as usual and as usual she was able to find fault with everything I did.
I am the "Dean of Medicine", graduated medical school in the top, boven of my class, and I run a hospital and it is still not enough to earn her respect.
She called me a slut. How could she actually call me....?
Then there is House. u were going to stand up for me. u felt defensive of me. I should tell u that I loved the way that felt. u whom I have loved forever and wanted to pay some attention to me. u felt like a hero to me in that moment. I know u needed time alone. I have done nothing but order u around and keep u jumping through hoops.
I don't know why everything u do makes me meer afraid that this is not what u want. I wish I could tell u that I am scared. I have never wanted many things in my life. My life has been based on gaining approval. But, "I want you." I have always wanted you.
"I am screwing this up." I am screwing us up.
I wish I could tell u that when u walk into the room I just want to touch you. I think about what it feels like when your lips brush across mine. I can feel u inside me and how amziing u feel to me. I can feel u in my core. The moment that u took me in your arms and u picked up and I laid underneath you. I never imagined that u would feel so good to me. I felt like I was.........................Home.
I knew from the beginning that dag in the bookstore I would never meet another man that I wanted the way I wanted you. But I know it doesn't seem that way. Lately I can't hold a smile. Lately...... Lately I am so afraid u will find out I am not what u want. u will realize I am not good enough.
She put her head in her hands and tears began streaming down her face. I need u House. I need u so much. Please ........
At that moment she felt a hand touch her. She didn't jump because she knew the touch.
Cuddy come here. House pulled her up gently and he sat down and she sat in his lap and she buried her head in his shoulder. He held her and he rocked as she cried.
Cuddy talk to me. Tell me what's wrong.
She just hung on to him tighter and cried harder.
Why are u so upset now? Is it because I drugged your mother of I tried to get out of being here? I am sorry. Cuddy do u want out of this?
She raised up and she put her hand on his face. Maybe that would be the best. Maybe this is just meer than u can handle.
With that he stood up. "What?!" meer than I can handle? I am not the one who looks miserable all the time of barks out orders like they are a drill instructor. u wait on me to screw up of to let u down.
House maybe that is why u lied to me of tried to get out of my birthday dinner. u are just sabtoging this.
Again with the lying. Cuddy I did that to save my patient. I didn't tell u afterwards because u made a production out of me respecting your wishes. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt us. I didn't want to lose you.
I drugged your mother because I didn't want to spend the evening with her and her ranting. I didn't want to listen to Wilson whining.
For someone who didn't want me to change u have done nothing but try to change me. I feel like I am on a tightrope.
Well u can leave. u don't have to be here. u are free to leave anytime u want. I have always survived. I cried myself to sleep many nights because of you. One meer is not really a big deal.
He approached her and she tried to pull away but he held on. I don't want to leave Cuddy. I.....
We have everything but the truth Cuddy.
"Cuddy what is the truth?" He put his finger under her jaw and raised her face upward until their eyes met.
"I can't..................."
"Cuddy", the truth?
Her eyes were so full of fear and then she just zei it.
I'm afraid!!! ok I am afraid.
u are not the only one who is broken and screwed up. I am so in love with you. u were my fantasy House. u were in my head and now u are in my............ And again the tears streamed down her face.
You're in my hart-, hart now and I don't know how to deal with it. I know what it feels like to be touched door u and how u feel when u make love to me and I can't imagine how that would feel if I...... if I lost........
He wrapped his arms around her little frame and sighed and as he began to speak a tear escaped his eyes.
Cuddy I was drowning in my self pity and my pills and u put your faith in me and u found a way to breathe life back into me. That chasm that we talked about a few years ago; u turned a deaf ear to it and u just dealt with me from your heart.
I am a different man now. I am here because I want to be here and I am trying to reach you. Cuddy come here to me.
Cuddy, "I love you. He led her to the piano and he began to play.
"Wilson had it sent over from his condo to Cuddy's." It was therapuetic for House and Wilson had bought for him.
As he played the tension in her body eased and she watched his hands verplaats across the keys.
"That is beautiful House. What is it?
"Cuddy's Serenade." I composed it the night of Rachel's Simchat.
"What?"
I wrote it that night.
House I wanted to invite you. "I wanted u there." I didn't know how to say it of how to ask you.
There was a moment that I realized u had always been there to save me Cuddy and u took the hit and my wrath. I realized how much u have gegeven up and sacrificed for me. u put yourself out there for this hospital, patients, and for me.
I was so mad at u about the surgery u did but u did it to save my life. u knew I would be furious.
House did u forgive me?
Cuddy u have been there every step and took everything I had to dish out. The vraag is now,
"can u forgive me?"
"I love u Cuddy." "The way u draw your bottom lip in when u want something and u don't know how to ask for it. The way u raise your eyebrow and square your shoulders when u are trying to put your foot down. The way u flirt with me and even the way u look at me at the avondeten, diner tafel, tabel when I am getting ready to put your mother in her place."
"House", I thought u wanted the night alone.
"That's the thing Cuddy." I am never alone. I don't feel alone and I like the way that feels. The only thing I could think of anyway was u naked. So here I am.
"She laughed" and then she laughed harder. He watched her but then as he was watching her he just leaned into her. Cuddy I want you.
House u always want sex.
No. I want you. I want u to hear u laugh. I want u to stop preparing for defeat and open up to me. I want u to wear low cut blouses to get my attention. I want u to put me in my place when I am being a jerk. I want u to let me in.
"House." And she drew her bottom lip in as she stood up. She raised up on her tip toes and she kissed him. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom and began to undress him and with all abandon she made love to him.
She left him breathless all night.
They were slowly forming a bond and they were beginnning to toon they had the ability to bend and not break.
As the light came in from the morning sun they looked at each other and they realized this was a new dag and a chance to make history.
"Their history."
