(In a store)

Jareth: How much are these delightful edible crystals?
Cashier: (rolling eyes) they're rock candy sir and a dollar fifty.

(Clothes shopping in the mall)

Jareth: (goes up to employee with pair of leggings) excuse me.

Cashier: (looks up) what can I help u with today?

Jareth: (holding up leggings) do u have these in men's?

Cashier: (weirded out) yeah...ummm...no.

(At job interview for daycare)

Interviewer: have u had any experience with kids before?

Jareth: yes indeed, u see when unwanted children are wished away to the underground. I simply take them to my kasteel in the goblin city where they become goblins and continue to serve me.

Interviewer: I see...and what do u like to do in your spare time?

Jareth: I like to gaze into my crystal balls, kick and tease my goblin minions and tralala through my troon room singing dance magic dance.

Interviewer: (weirded out) ok we'll call u letting u know if u got the job.

(Jareth leaves)

(Interviewer chucks jareth's job application in the trash)

Interviewer: Well he certainly didn't want that job...

(Jareth backs out of Cumberland farms parking lot)

(Gets rear ended)

(Both owners get out of cars to inspect damage)

Owner of other car: oh my god Im so sor---

Jareth: damn u peasant I shall throw u into the bog of eternal stench before u can blink!

(Jareth goes up to an attractive woman at a bar)

woman: hallo sexy.

Jareth: I ask for so little, just let me rule u and u can have everything that u want.

Woman: excuse me?

Jareth: just fear me, love me do as I say and I will be your slave.

(Woman smacks him upside the head)

Woman: get away from me u jerk!

(Walks out of bar)

(Jareth devastated turns into an owl and flies away)