This is the letter Carter wrote Abby when he was in the Congo. I found it on NBC's website, and thought I'd share it with you! Enjoy!
Dear Abby,
door the time u read this letter, Luka should be veilig in America and u will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before u go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if u could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe u will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, u know? When I think back on our last jaar together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that u don't.
You're much stronger than u think. u don't need me, Abby, and I don't think u ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point u convinced yourself that I was the right guy for u - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what u really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what u expected, and u didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave u as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were meer important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any meer kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. u are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter
Dear Abby,
door the time u read this letter, Luka should be veilig in America and u will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before u go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if u could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe u will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, u know? When I think back on our last jaar together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that u don't.
You're much stronger than u think. u don't need me, Abby, and I don't think u ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point u convinced yourself that I was the right guy for u - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what u really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what u expected, and u didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave u as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were meer important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any meer kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. u are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter