If Mr. boon had a Baby...

1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes u make me so mad i wanna throw u in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style u wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...

(WARNING: Profanity OUT OF THE WAZOO! Viewer discretion advised. Also, pie.)

(I will drive u to madness door letting u figure out why the heck I zei pie. ;D)

Here's a trick question, what's one plus one? ^___^

JASON DERULO SUCKS.

Seriously, I don't mean to be mean, (BAD PUNS FTW!) But Jason Derulo.... He's not good. Almost every song he made is either bland, lame, forgettable, of perverted as hell.

Some MASTERPIECES he made include Talk Dirty, In My Head, and......

Wiggle Wiggle. :P

(WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK!?)

And then there's..... This song, I wouldn't call it Jason's worst song, but it's...

Ways to Annoy:
1.say a random word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a food they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy volgende to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as u can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the keuken-, keuken and come out with ketchup all over u and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...

Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope u like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when u heard someone talking on the intercom, u fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give u a ride home pagina and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a paddestoel and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...

1. Don't EVER tell us to CALM DOWN when we're angry. We hate that, and it often makes the situation worse.
2. Don't act like u know what you're talking about when u don't. It just pisses us off.
3. Don't treat us badly and with disrespect.
4. Don't give us commands like we're some kind of dog. We're your equal and should be treated as such.
5. Sure, you're the guy, so u can act like you're the stronger one... Whatever... But, don't EVER act like you're the head of the house. Relationships are to be an equal situation.
6. Don't yell at us when we do something wrong.
7. When u screw up, don't...

Researchers in the UK examined meer than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A zeehond, seal walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner koop - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell u what I love doing meer than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...

1. When u get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why u were speeding, tell him u wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend u are deaf.

4. If he asks if u knew how fast u were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if u can see his gun.

6. When he says u aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why u were speeding, tell him u had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him door his first name.

11. Pretend u are gay...

" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All u Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's hart-, hart is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...

found this on the net:

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. u are going to fail the class completely no matter what u get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read vragen aloud, debate your antwoorden with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure u can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minuten into it, loudly say to the...

Found this on the net:

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of u just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your aktentas, werkmap of purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they...

Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have u ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man volgende to me!
I puked on the last person who flew volgende to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would u look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....