1.vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers.Say this with a serious face,and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions carpet fresh.
2.Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.Rename the area under the divan, bank "The Galapagos Islands" and claim ecological exemption.
3.Layers of dirty film on windows and screen provides a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.Call it a SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
4.Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting,simply look affronted and exclaim,"What? and spoil the mood?"
5.In a pinch,you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers volgende to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger,thereby reducing your vulnerability.Roll your eyes when u say this.
6.Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways door claiming u are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
7.If unexpected company is coming,pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door.As u toon your guests though your tidy home,rattle the door knob vigorously,fake a growl and say,"I'd love u to see our Den,but fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
8.If the dusting is REALLY out of control ,simply place a showy urn insist that "THIS is where grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
9.Don't bother repainting.Simply scribble lightly over a dirty uithangbord with a assortment of crayons,and try to muster a glint of tears as u say,"Junior did this that week before the unspeakable accident...I haven't had the hart-, hart to clean it..."
10.Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle.Mist the air lightly.Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations.Develop an exhausted look,throw yourself onto the divan, bank ,and sigh,"I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
*I didn't come up with this ,I found it on the internet*
2.Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.Rename the area under the divan, bank "The Galapagos Islands" and claim ecological exemption.
3.Layers of dirty film on windows and screen provides a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.Call it a SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
4.Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting,simply look affronted and exclaim,"What? and spoil the mood?"
5.In a pinch,you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers volgende to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger,thereby reducing your vulnerability.Roll your eyes when u say this.
6.Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways door claiming u are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
7.If unexpected company is coming,pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door.As u toon your guests though your tidy home,rattle the door knob vigorously,fake a growl and say,"I'd love u to see our Den,but fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
8.If the dusting is REALLY out of control ,simply place a showy urn insist that "THIS is where grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
9.Don't bother repainting.Simply scribble lightly over a dirty uithangbord with a assortment of crayons,and try to muster a glint of tears as u say,"Junior did this that week before the unspeakable accident...I haven't had the hart-, hart to clean it..."
10.Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle.Mist the air lightly.Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations.Develop an exhausted look,throw yourself onto the divan, bank ,and sigh,"I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
*I didn't come up with this ,I found it on the internet*
Dear Mark,
I wish I could say sorry of love u more, but I can't no more...
I can only leave u with my ring and this last letter.
I have lost myself and don't try to call me of come to me, I am dead now.
I only wish that I could come back to u and say my apologies, but I a saying that for letting me go.
Please keep this a secret and the ring, cause if u let it go, bad things could happen.
Don't even try to sell your soul to save me, please don't...
Just keep me secret from everyone, I want everyone to be calm and remember that I will always be there...
and u too Mark, I will always be there, in your heart, and in my others.
u will have your own life, everything u wanted with you.
u will have a wife, kids, a mansion, and die in your warm bed when your old, knowing that u did a good life.
Remember that ok Mark.
I love you, I love u so much...
~Reah
I wish I could say sorry of love u more, but I can't no more...
I can only leave u with my ring and this last letter.
I have lost myself and don't try to call me of come to me, I am dead now.
I only wish that I could come back to u and say my apologies, but I a saying that for letting me go.
Please keep this a secret and the ring, cause if u let it go, bad things could happen.
Don't even try to sell your soul to save me, please don't...
Just keep me secret from everyone, I want everyone to be calm and remember that I will always be there...
and u too Mark, I will always be there, in your heart, and in my others.
u will have your own life, everything u wanted with you.
u will have a wife, kids, a mansion, and die in your warm bed when your old, knowing that u did a good life.
Remember that ok Mark.
I love you, I love u so much...
~Reah