SLOTH

'Do u ever get off the couch, sir?
Do u ever get off the divan, bank and stop watching TV?
Do u ever go for a run?
Do u ever simply walk around of exercise outside?
Do u just play video games all day, sir?
Do u even do any work?
Man, u are lazy! '

I would not be surprised if someone
zei this to you, my friend,
For I am the cause of it all.
I am one of the Deadly Sins,
As u humans call me,
For I am what makes people a lazy bum.

I am a daemon from the pits of hell,
As are all my other brothers,
But I must say,
That I am not a sin,
But rather a human instinct.
And it amuses me to see u sit around on the couch,
Getting fatter,
And fatter,
And much unhealthier,
With gaining LDL,
Which your doctors call 'bad cholesterol, '
And with u sleeping all the time,
u just make people angry because u will not
Get up and help.

u see, good sir,
I am the reason
u may have dropped out of high school,
Since u were too lazy
To do your homework
And would have rather hit the booze
of have done drugs with your buddies instead.

I am the reason u may have been
Taken off the Varsity team,
Because u were either too lazy to exercise
And contribute to the sports team,
of u may have been too lazy in school,
And decided to get all F's in school.

I am the reason u may not have graduated,
For u took school less seriously than others,
And u did not do your homework,
And u had to take your freshman courses
Over and over again
Just because u failed them;
Yet u could not complete your required classes
In your four years
And the No Child Left Behind Act
Took u out of school,
Without letting u get your diploma.

u blew off school like it was nonsense,
And I laugh at your stupidity,
For u struggle to get your GED to this day.

I am the reason u may have dropped out of college,
For u thought college was too much work,
And decided to blow off the work
And to party all the time,
Getting hangovers every morning,
And failing your classes the volgende day.
u gave up to studying,
And gave in to me,
Which makes u fail intensively.

I am the reason u did not earn your major,
For u partied too much,
And u felt studying was too much work,
And now I am amused to see that your life
Is a wreck
With u living in a trailer park
Lying on your couch,
Watching your antennae TV
With Dish Network as your supplier,
And u unable to hold a job.

I am the reason u may have lost your job,
For u slacked off too much,
And played games on your computer
Instead of filing reports
of programming the computer system
That your boss asked u to do.
u would rather play Sudoku
of check your email
Than do what your boss asks u to do.
u would sleep all the time,
And play Starcraft on your laptop,
And play a little bit of WOW
And Skyrim
Instead of contacting your associates
Internationally.
u made your boss angry,
And he finally had the last straw,
So he decided to brand you,
And now u have no job,
And your life is ruined,
For u cannot find any employment.
It amuses me to see u in this way,
As miserable as u are.

I am also the reason why your marriage crashed,
For whenever u came home,
u would rather lie on the couch
And sleep
Than help your wife with the household chores
of making dinner
of helping take care of the kids.
I made u irresponsible,
Making u unreliable with money,
Untrustworthy in your actions,
Lacking in truth-telling,
And making your work ethic horrible.
Your wife cannot stand u anymore,
For u never help with anything,
And cannot ever keep your end of the deal.
u pitiful little thing,
u live your life in misery,
And all I can say is that it amuses me.

I am one of the Seven Deadly Sins,
And if your life has been clean of us,
u better be careful,
For I of one of my brothers may very much
Taint your life,
And we take amusement in your torment.

GLUTTONY

Oh, it looks so yummy!
For it looks so yummy in my tummy!

u have probably heard these words,
For u know what that feeling is,
For it is called hunger.
I am hunger to the extreme;
I am one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

I make u hungry,
And yet not only hungry,
But famished to insanity.

Hunger is such
A short word for what I do
To you,
For in fact,
It is an understatement
Of what I do to you.

I make u so greedy
When u eat at the dinnertable
That u eat everything in plain sight.
u eat meer than u can take,
Just like some of the Israelites did
When they wandered for forty years in the desert
In the Book of Numbers.

I am the reason why
u have a sweet tooth,
Eating dessert after dessert,
Eating chocolate bars,
And chocolate-chip cookies,
And Reese's pinda boter cups door the dozens,
And 100 tons of pinda boter cookie dough,
And 300 lbs. of sugar cookies,
And 70 lbs. of cake,
And Milky Way candy bars,
Along with the 3 Musketeers,
Along with Twix and Snickers and Baby Ruth,
And Payday, as well,
And Starburst,
And Airheads,
And pies after pies,
And long johns,
And pastries,
And danishes, too.
I make u eat cinammon rolls,
And Swiss rolls,
As well,
And ecclaires,
And whatever dessert there is.

I am the reason u gain weight,
For u eat starches,
And candies,
And oily foods,
And pop-tarts for breakfast,
And pop and soda,
All at the same time.

I am amused at how
u are able to gain so much weight.
I am also amused with your high cholesterol,
Which will eventually lead to arteriosclerosis,
And I will be amused to see u get a hart-, hart attack, as well.

I am one of your instincts,
So do not fall for me,
of u will be cursed
For the rest of eternity.

WRATH

I am one of the deadly sins,
For I am the one that makes u feel angry,
And may lead u to do wrongful things.

I blind you,
And mask the truth from you;
I hide your actions,
And make them unaware to u until
u realise what just happened.

I am a curse,
For I blind u from the truth,
And make u unwilling to accept that truth,
Because I am anger,
Which makes your rage come true,
Which brings about your wrath,
Which is my true name,
And with it comes a grudge.

I am a curse,
And u do not want me,
But honestly,
It is fun for me to see
u hurting other people,
Even though u don't intentionally do it,
of even if u are blinded door the truth.
For I am Wrath,
And I take amusement from your anger,
And the pain u inflict on others,
And I am from the fiery pits of hell.

Beware of your human instincts,
For I am one of them,
And I may toon up in your fiery head.

ENVY

I am one of the deadly sins,
Something that will make death come to you
If u should feel me at all.
I am one of your emotions
Something u might not be able to control,
Something that will make u mad
If I were to make u feel it.

I am that feeling of desire,
Which u feel most of all,
That comes with lust,
Comes with materialism,
Comes with things u cannot explain.
I am the thing u will regret,
If u should
Ever
Get
Your
Way.

I am what u call jealousy,
That thing that makes the green-eyed monster,
of one of them, anyway.
I make u jealous,
For I make u want your best friend's girlfriend,
Make u desire your neighbour's wife,
Making u covet her in every way,
And making your lustful
Dreams come true.

I am the thing that makes u materialistic
Making u covet your neighbour's house,
Coveting the new lawn mower he received,
And the new 3D Tv he got at the store.
I make u covet the new cell phone
Your best friend has,
The new iPhone 4S with Siri on it and everything.
I make u covet your brother's new Lamborghini,
And your father's Chevy Camaro that was redone,
And your uncle's Ford Galaxy 500,
Which are all very appealing to your eyes,
Since u love cars so much.
I make your son covet his best friend's
New WiiU,
And his new Nintendo 3DS
Because he thinks it is so cool.
I make your wife covet her co-worker's Gucci,
The beautiful $500 portemonnee she is not able to afford,
And I make your daughter covet her best friend's
Beautiful prom dress
Because u are not able to afford the beautiful
expensive dress for $2500.

I make u act in jealousy
When your wife is talking to another man,
For u become angry,
And u feel as if u are
Being cockolded.
u will not let a man take a hold of your wife,
And u will not let some buffoon make a fool out of you.
Your wife is beautiful,
And no one can lay eyes on her but you,
And if anyone DOES touch her,
He is in a world of danger.
No one will kruis you,
For u know your ground,
And he knows his.
No one flirts with your wife.
After all, I do make u Ernest Hemingway.

I also make u act like Cain
When your brother gets all the attention from your parents,
For u never got anything,
And he always got the praise.
I verplaats u to do evil,
And, yes, I encourage you.
I am your human forethought,
And only u can resist me.

I am envy,
I am a deadly sin,
And u know that,
However, I am just instinct,
Like all of the other sins,
And it amuses me to see u people fall,
For we are the wild beings in the night,
Released from the pits of hell....