“Penguins. Lovely.” -Edward, Eclipse
"Amazing, How can someone so tiny be so annoying?" -Edward, Eclipse
"Next time u want to hit me, use a baseball bat of a crowbar, okay?" Jacob, Eclipse
"I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it will make Jasper happy. Why not." Bella, Eclipse.
"Stupid shiny Volvo owner."-Bella, Twilight
"Did u seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that in movies." -Jacob, Eclipse
"How strongly opposed are u to grand auto theft?"
-Alice, New Moon
"Oh! I get it! u love me!"
-Bella, New Moon.
"I prefer brunettes.”
—Edward Cullen
“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much meer fun with u around.” -Emmett Cullen
“Edward’s only human, Bella. He’s going to react like any other boy.”
—Angela Weber
“This hostage stuff is fun.”
—Alice Cullen
"Would u please stop trying to take your clothes off?"
-Edward
“Fall down again, Bella?” —Emmett Cullen
“I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.” —Bella Swan
"I hear voices in my mind and u worried that you're the freak."-Edward
"Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior." -Bella
"You worry too much, Bella. You're going to go prematurely gray." -Alice
"Don't worry...I'll protect you." –Edward
"Go fetch a space heater... what am I a St. Bernard?"
-Jacob
"Afraid of a needle." he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." -Edward Cullen
"I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy in my life!"
-Alice Cullen
"I've been tortured, Alice painted my toenails!"
-Bella Swan
"It's a good thing you're bulletproof."
-Bella Swan
Emmet: "Fall again, Bella?"
Bella: "No Emmet, I punched a wear wolf in the face."
"You are bizarrely moral for a vampire."
-Bella Swan
"Stupid unreliable vampire!"
-Bella
“Which is tempting u more, me of my body?”
-Bella
"Do u have a multiple personality disorder?"-Bella Swan
“I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial.” — Jacob Black
