1. Tell him that Bella really is dead.
2. Lock him in a room with Jacob.
3. Beat Edward at chess
4. Tell him that Bella ran off with Jacob.
5. Replace all his CD's with techno music.
6. Tell him that he's sparkly.
7. Do not serenade him.
8. Push him in the sunlight.
9. Kill an animal in front of him
10. Tell Edward that there are thousands of posers on Myspace pretending to be him.
11. Tell him that he smells good.
12. Ask him to eat something.
13. Ask him if he got contacts.
14. Beg him to do your homework for him.
15. Ask him to bite you.
16. Ask him if u "dazzle him."
17. Tell him that u love him.
18. Ask him if u take a picture of him..will he toon up.
19. Ask him to stand in front of a mirror.
20. Drive a busje, van into him.
21. Ask him what his blood type is.
22. Jump off a cliff.
23. Put Bella in peril.
24. Ask him how old he is.
25. Run around screaming "The Volturi are coming! The Volturi are coming."
26. Tell him to change you.
27. Tell him that he is not the hottest vampire.
2. Lock him in a room with Jacob.
3. Beat Edward at chess
4. Tell him that Bella ran off with Jacob.
5. Replace all his CD's with techno music.
6. Tell him that he's sparkly.
7. Do not serenade him.
8. Push him in the sunlight.
9. Kill an animal in front of him
10. Tell Edward that there are thousands of posers on Myspace pretending to be him.
11. Tell him that he smells good.
12. Ask him to eat something.
13. Ask him if he got contacts.
14. Beg him to do your homework for him.
15. Ask him to bite you.
16. Ask him if u "dazzle him."
17. Tell him that u love him.
18. Ask him if u take a picture of him..will he toon up.
19. Ask him to stand in front of a mirror.
20. Drive a busje, van into him.
21. Ask him what his blood type is.
22. Jump off a cliff.
23. Put Bella in peril.
24. Ask him how old he is.
25. Run around screaming "The Volturi are coming! The Volturi are coming."
26. Tell him to change you.
27. Tell him that he is not the hottest vampire.
hallo ... This is my first fanfiction :D so if its not good just give me some constructive critism to make it better. Thanks (:
Preface.
The reason i left was to save my family. The one I cant live without. But i wish they were here. To hold my hand. Promise me everything will be ok. But i push that thought to the back of my mind when i hear the approaching footsteps. I stand there. Alone. Preparing myself for terror that i am about to face. If i could cry, tears would be running down my face. But when the hunters prepare to attack. I crouch forward, my lips pull back over my teeth. I let out a deep growl which was cut short. My head snapped up to the sound i heard behind me.
Preface.
The reason i left was to save my family. The one I cant live without. But i wish they were here. To hold my hand. Promise me everything will be ok. But i push that thought to the back of my mind when i hear the approaching footsteps. I stand there. Alone. Preparing myself for terror that i am about to face. If i could cry, tears would be running down my face. But when the hunters prepare to attack. I crouch forward, my lips pull back over my teeth. I let out a deep growl which was cut short. My head snapped up to the sound i heard behind me.
My awesome 'other':
Edward u are delicious,
I bet you'd be nutritious,
I reckon you'd be good to eat,
Quite juicy and quite sweet.
Tastier than any chocolate cake,
With hunger, my belly aches,
In a totally non sexual way.
Ha ha ha ha don't take this seriously guys. I'm not weird, honest. But Edward would be good to eat. Not that I would know... Nothing rhymes with delicious, u know... Except nutritious... So anyways, that's my latest bout of weirdness, I hope I've met my quota for the day.
Edward u are delicious,
I bet you'd be nutritious,
I reckon you'd be good to eat,
Quite juicy and quite sweet.
Tastier than any chocolate cake,
With hunger, my belly aches,
In a totally non sexual way.
Ha ha ha ha don't take this seriously guys. I'm not weird, honest. But Edward would be good to eat. Not that I would know... Nothing rhymes with delicious, u know... Except nutritious... So anyways, that's my latest bout of weirdness, I hope I've met my quota for the day.
bella: edward we need to talk.................................................
edward: go ahead we have got all the time in the world.
bella: ok but i don't think your gunna like it.
edward: whats wrong
bella: its nothing really but i do have to say i don't love u and i never have. the only reason why i married u was cuz u have lots of money and cuz i wanted to be a vampire. now i have got that i don't need u anymore.
Edward: don't leave me.
bella: i have to cuz jacobs waiting for me in the car.
edward: thats my car
bella: buy a new one
bella: i am also taking renesmee with me. goodby edward. and thanks for the car
edward:noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. not the car
bella: hu hum i zei goodbuy edward
edward: o sorry goodbuy bella.
and so bella, renesmee and jacob lived happily ever after
edward: go ahead we have got all the time in the world.
bella: ok but i don't think your gunna like it.
edward: whats wrong
bella: its nothing really but i do have to say i don't love u and i never have. the only reason why i married u was cuz u have lots of money and cuz i wanted to be a vampire. now i have got that i don't need u anymore.
Edward: don't leave me.
bella: i have to cuz jacobs waiting for me in the car.
edward: thats my car
bella: buy a new one
bella: i am also taking renesmee with me. goodby edward. and thanks for the car
edward:noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. not the car
bella: hu hum i zei goodbuy edward
edward: o sorry goodbuy bella.
and so bella, renesmee and jacob lived happily ever after
10. Ask about Mike.
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that u and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her u are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
Source: link
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that u and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her u are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
Source: link