Why He’s Hot:
1. Pattinson is responsible for the whole “men as vampires are hot”, epidemic. For him, you’re a total fiction loving dweeb.
2. He is the epitome of a bad boy. He doesn’t try to have a fuck the world attitude, he just does. He’s far from charming and u love him for that. Why? Well because bad boys can work their magic stick better than nice boys. Nice boys need instruction, not Robert. u see Robert is instructing u and you’re loving every minuut of it.
3. He’s from the UK and that in itself is hot. He has an accent and will invite u over for crumpets and tea. What the fuck are crumpets? Who cares! You’ll scarf them down and pretend it was the best experience of your life just for a moment alone with Robert.
4. He sings! Go figure the stud on legs has talent (or what he believes is talent but sounds meer like a mediocre version of the Dave Mathews Band). u can’t understand what he says but who the hell cares. I don’t. Oh, sing me a sweet babble-esque lullaby Robert. u sound lovely.
5. He has admitted to hating taking showers. Ladies let’s be honest, if a guy told u that you’d probably run away while simultaneously throwing up in your mouth but this is Robert Pattinson we’re talking about.
u can always trick him into playing erotic games in the shower. Problem solved!
link
1. Pattinson is responsible for the whole “men as vampires are hot”, epidemic. For him, you’re a total fiction loving dweeb.
2. He is the epitome of a bad boy. He doesn’t try to have a fuck the world attitude, he just does. He’s far from charming and u love him for that. Why? Well because bad boys can work their magic stick better than nice boys. Nice boys need instruction, not Robert. u see Robert is instructing u and you’re loving every minuut of it.
3. He’s from the UK and that in itself is hot. He has an accent and will invite u over for crumpets and tea. What the fuck are crumpets? Who cares! You’ll scarf them down and pretend it was the best experience of your life just for a moment alone with Robert.
4. He sings! Go figure the stud on legs has talent (or what he believes is talent but sounds meer like a mediocre version of the Dave Mathews Band). u can’t understand what he says but who the hell cares. I don’t. Oh, sing me a sweet babble-esque lullaby Robert. u sound lovely.
5. He has admitted to hating taking showers. Ladies let’s be honest, if a guy told u that you’d probably run away while simultaneously throwing up in your mouth but this is Robert Pattinson we’re talking about.
u can always trick him into playing erotic games in the shower. Problem solved!
link
-Renesmee-
door the time we landed for THE LAST TIME, I was really tired, despite sleeping like a rock the entire time.
"Emmett is going to personally ensure your permanent skin tone becomes bright red," Jacob remarked.
I scowled at him; I hated that I blushed so frequently.
"But I like it," he grinned. "It makes u look cute."
"Are u on his side of mine?" I almost growled at him. I was NOT in the mood for this.
"Yours," he said, still grinning.
"Great. Then please be meer supportive."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, saluting me.
"Whatever," I mumbled as we stepped into the cab.
* * *
door the time we reached Forks, I was still incredibly tired.
The last thing I remembered was steeping out of the cab, and making it eight steps before my legs folded underneath me and Jacob's warm arms catching me before I fell.
I blinked my eyes closed, too exhausted to move.
door the time we landed for THE LAST TIME, I was really tired, despite sleeping like a rock the entire time.
"Emmett is going to personally ensure your permanent skin tone becomes bright red," Jacob remarked.
I scowled at him; I hated that I blushed so frequently.
"But I like it," he grinned. "It makes u look cute."
"Are u on his side of mine?" I almost growled at him. I was NOT in the mood for this.
"Yours," he said, still grinning.
"Great. Then please be meer supportive."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, saluting me.
"Whatever," I mumbled as we stepped into the cab.
* * *
door the time we reached Forks, I was still incredibly tired.
The last thing I remembered was steeping out of the cab, and making it eight steps before my legs folded underneath me and Jacob's warm arms catching me before I fell.
I blinked my eyes closed, too exhausted to move.
10. Tell him only to address u in a cute English accent.
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have meer fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the bureau in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2. Call him McSteamy of McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have meer fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the bureau in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2. Call him McSteamy of McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”