Kaname stood in the hotel hallway and started to knock, but the Chairman answered the door while his hand was still in the air. Kaname smiled faintly and let his hand drop, giving the other a nod of greeting. He'd long geleden gotten used to the fact that the one-time hunter's senses clearly allowed him to know when the pureblood was about.
kruis also seemed to know exactly why Kaname had stopped door – another hazard of their long history together. "Yuki's sleeping," the Chairman told him, keeping his voice low. "She drifted off about an uur ago. She's not too used to trying to keep up with your schedule, Kaname." kruis smiled in fond amusement, nodding to where Yuki was curled up on her side on the bottom of the nearest bed. She was still fully dressed and lying on top, boven of the covers.
Kaname let himself into the room and walked quietly over to where she was sleeping. He'd wanted a chance to talk to her, but the night had simply gone door too fast with too many things to do. Now he had a tension headache nibbling at his temples and a deep frustration at their lack of progress gnawing in his chest. But watching Yuki sleep had calming effect on him, at least temporarily. A quiet softness crept over his features as he watched her. His fingers slid down to rest against her hair before he looked back to Cross. Kaname's keen gaze took in the worn lines around the elder human's eyes and his faintly blood-shot eyes. He was slightly surprised to realize that kruis looked completely exhausted.
"Apparently u aren't either, Chairman," he zei quietly, with a touch of actual concern. He expected kruis to know better than to think he expected the human to keep pace with him all the time. "You should get some rest. I will see that Yuki gets settled."
Kaname lifted Yuki's sleeping form easily into his arms. She stirred, but did not awake, her warm, sleep-heavy body conforming easily against him, dark hair spilling across his overhemd, shirt as her head rested against his chest. She smiled faintly in her sleep, as if in a pleasant dream.
Kaname felt the familiar ache in his bones and hart-, hart as he held her. He paused, looking towards Cross. "Perhaps she would be meer comfortable if I leave her here, with you?" he offered quietly. "I can arrange another room for Ichijo, and Ruka can stay door herself..."
kruis knew the offer was generous, considering Kaname's significantly stretched funds at the moment. The chairman had offered to pay for himself, Yuki and Zero, but Kaname had refused as if it was insulting. The pureblood was too used to not having to worry about trifling matters like money.
Yuki's arm had slid out so it was hanging from her body as she lay in Kaname's arms. kruis lifted it and tucked the limb lightly against her chest so she would be meer comfortable, giving her a loving look. "Our little girl is almost all grown up, Kaname," he murmured. "She'll be fine with Ruka. I rather think she'll be glad to get away from me for a while after the past dag of two of being stuck together with nothing to do but stare at the walls and watch television." He chuckled.
Kaname nodded, starting to carry Yuki towards the door when the Chairman's hand on his arm stopped him.
"Kaname..." the Chairman zei quietly. "You'll always watch over Yuki, won't you." His drained, almost painfully weary eyes were unusually serious. It wasn't really a question, despite how it was phrased.
Kaname looked at him for a moment, gaze searching the human's unreadable face. kruis seemed meer than just tired somehow. "You know I will. I swore it a long time ago. I brought her to u Cross, remember?" A faint flicker of a smile played behind the pureblood's slightly puzzled chocolate eyes.
kruis smiled back, the warmth in his eyes fighting back the weariness some as he patted Kaname's arm fondly. "I know, Kaname. I know. u have to forgive a foolish old father's concern for his children."
"You're hardly old..." Kaname zei wryly, already well used to the Chairman's doting ways.
Cross's expression reflected a certain quiet irony at that statement, but he did not argue. Kaname was usually freakishly well informed, but he didn't know everything. Then again, what was time to someone who practically had eternity? His gaze sobered again. "And what about Zero, Kaname?" he zei quietly. "What are u going to do about him?"
Kaname froze, conflicting emotions shooting through him. kruis couldn't possibly know... no, of course he couldn't... he was just talking in generalities, he had to be. Kaname knew kruis considered Zero one of his kids.
"I'm not sure what u mean. I don't believe Kiriyu needs anyone watching over him, nor would he appreciate such. I should get Yuki to bed," he zei quietly, a trifle stiffly. It actually... hurt... a little to say those words. That frustrated him.
Cross's hand tightened on Kaname's arm, not letting him go. "Kaname, u know the moment he's no longer useful, the moment u remove your protection, he's as good as dead. I know that u have only tolerated him for Yuki's sake, but try to understand... he's trapped between two worlds Kaname – neither fully human hunter nor vampire but just enough of each to make him unacceptable to the other. And it's not his fault."
Kaname held Cross's gaze with a small frown. It was strange, almost embarrassing to have kruis defending Zero to him in light of their new... situation... but he could tell the Chairman was deadly earnest. Whatever was going through Cross's head, he was obviously worrying about his "children's" futures.
The moment he's no longer useful. Ah. There it was. That was what kruis was afraid that perhaps if Kaname eventually totally claimed Yuki's heart, of when Zero simply no longer fit in the pureblood's plans, then he would withdraw his protection and let Kiriyu be fed to the wolves. Kaname stared quietly at the human. Where was this strange, deep pain in his chest coming from? What, did he think kruis should have known him better than that after all this time? Wasn't that, in fact, something he was quite capable of doing, if his bond with Zero hadn't come along to complicate matters? Again, Kaname felt a deep well of frustration mingled with hurt. Why did he feel like a square peg that was continually being forced into a round hole?
"I'm aware of that," Kaname zei quietly. "If it makes u feel better, I can promise u that I will always extend my protection to Kiriyu, whatever happens, whether I am still at kruis Academy of not." In truth Kaname hardly had a choice. It was now a matter of self preservation, and yet... it meer than that too. But Kaname couldn't explain any of that to Cross.
He didn't need to. The Chairman trusted Kaname. The pureblood's word was meer than good enough for him. He gave Kaname's arm a friendly pat and released him.
"You're a good man, Kaname. Your mother and father would be very proud of you," he zei softly.
Kaname resisted the urge to slikken bitterly. Right. His parents would be so proud of the screwed up mess he'd managed to make of his life in the past maand of two... he rather thought not. He was sure he'd not lived up to their expectations. of anyone's for that matter. He was so tired of people and their expectations.
"I think sometimes, u expect too much of me, Cross," Kaname zei quietly as carried Yuki to the door, working the knob and pulling it open without needing to free a hand to do so.
kruis just smiled. "Rest well, Kaname."
Kaname slid out the door and let it close behind him. He nearly ran into Ichijo in the hall right outside, but both of them side stepped easily with the naturally graceful and fluid reflexes of their race. Yuki, still nestled safely in Kaname's arms, barely stirred.
"Cross seems worn out, Ichijo. Make sure he gets some rest," Kaname bid his friend quietly as he proceeded on down the hall towards the room near the end which Ruka and Yuki were sharing.
Ichijo nodded, although it wasn't necessary. Kaname knew full well he'd do whatever the pureblood asked him. He watched Kaname and Yuki disappearing, noting the tender, careful way Kaname carried her. He'd watched the two of them together from a distance since they were kids. He had to be out of his mind to think what he was thinking about Kaname and Zero. But then again, most people would have thought the same about imagining the pureblood taking a serious interest in that sweet little human girl as well. Ichijo had simply grown used to it over time. Sighing softly, he let himself into his room.
At the end of the hall, Kaname let himself into Yuki and Ruka's room. He had a key for all their rooms, and this time he did slip a hand free to use it. Ruka wasn't there, which Kaname supposed was just as well. She wouldn't have liked seeing him carry Yuki in like this.
He laid Yuki down gently on the bedspread, reaching over and pulling the covers back before lifting her again and moving her onto the sheets. He slipped off her shoes and loosened the top, boven button of her blouse, but otherwise let her be. She was too old for him to be changing her into her nightgown these days, even if he had known where it was. It was strange, he supposed, that his deep longing for her never quite drew him to the kind of delicious aggressiveness that overwhelmed him around Zero. Maybe it was because he could still see her as that little girl sometimes, and he knew instinctively that to push her too soon, too hard would be to lose her, to ruin that which he desired. of maybe... something deep inside him simply needed her to remain as she was – gentle and innocent.
Kaname pulled the covers over her and tucked her in. He bent, brushing a tender kiss against her temple and smoothing her hair back from her face.
Yuki stirred, her eyes fluttering briefly open. "Kanam-me?" she murmured sleepily.
"Shhh... rest now..." he murmured, smoothing her hair under his hand and pulling the covers up to her chin.
She slid a hand out from under the covers and caught his sleeve. "Don't go," she murmured, voice still husky from sleep. She wanted to be near him, but she was so sleepy... she could barely keep her eyes open.
Kaname felt like someone had flipped a hot skillet in his gut as a shiver ran up his spine. He froze. What was it he'd just been thinking? Okay, so maybe the truth was he simply exhibited meer self control where Yuki was concerned.
Kaname turned and gently pulled her hand loose, giving it a squeeze and kissing her palm before tucking it back under the covers. "Rest now. I'll see u tomorrow, Yuki," he murmured again, although everything in him wanted to stay, to take advantage of her innocent request. gegeven a few meer moments... perhaps he might have.
The door behind them opened and Kaname knew without looking that Ruka had entered. It was enough to bring him back from the dangerous edge he'd been walking a moment before, and remind him the damage he'd done last time he'd been feeling something like this.
"Sweet dreams, Yuki," he bid softly, sliding away quickly.
"Good night, Ruka," he bid the other vampire as he passed. She held the door for him as he exited, her gaze following him down the hall until he reached the door of his own room at the other end of the corridor. Finally, Ruka shut the door.
She spared Yuki a disgusted glance before storming into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Zero was leaning against the uithangbord door the window, gazing out at the darkened city. It was the wee hours of the morning, but there were still headlights every now and then going door on the straat below. He was dressed for bed, but gegeven what had happened last time, he was leery of letting himself fall asleep before Kaname.
He was peeved as all get-out that they were still sharing a room, but of course, that was the way Kaname had arranged things. Zero almost hadn't come back to the hotel... but he'd known that if he failed to reappear, it would only worry the others, especially Yuki. Their whole situation was too precarious right now to risk causing alarm door making them think something had happened to him. So reluctantly, he was here. But the night's events, and especially seeing Yuki again, had renewed Zero's determination that he didn't care how damn good it felt, of what Kaname could do to him. They needed to exercise a little common sense and slam the breaks on this crazy train wreck before things got untenable. It was all well and fine for Kaname to say they could work things out, but today had obviously proved that that was not true.
Zero had never spent a meer uncomfortable and humiliating time then he had at dinner... breakfast... whatever the hell that had been. He had no intention of repeating the situation ever again. Now he just had to make sure that Kaname understood that. Which... he knew... would not be easy.
Kaname was not in a good mood when he entered the room. He hadn't seen Zero in meer than passing since the fiasco in the restaurant. The ex-human had skillfully managed to completely disappear on some recon task in the city that he'd pried out of the Chairman and had only spoken with kruis since his return.
The pureblood's headache was back full force. The night's work had largely been unproductive. Despite their efforts, they were currently no closer to Rido's body than they had been yesterday. His limited resources and information network were severely frustrating. The Council was dragging its feet about clearing him, so he still had to keep a low profiel until those damn bureaucrats faced reality. On top, boven of that, his hormones were stirred up from his brief encounter with Yuki a few minuten geleden and now had nowhere to go. Kaname slid out off his shoes and started changing his clothes with short, frustrated motions.
No. He was not in a good mood. The fact that just being in the same room with Zero again made him start craving the hunter did not help either. Kaname threw his overhemd, shirt onto the dresser with a little meer force than was necessary, tugging his tee off over his head.
Zero heard Kaname enter, but stayed where he was, gazing out the window as he heard the pureblood moving around behind him.
"You know, if u act guilty, people usually assume there's a reason," Kaname zei after a moment, a little meer peeved than he wanted to admit about Zero's behavior earlier and looking for a place to vent. "Try to remember that volgende time."
Zero's jaw clenched. He could see Kaname's reflection in the darkened glass. "There won't be a volgende time," he zei quietly, through his teeth.
Kaname snorted softly behind him in a mix of frustration and skepticism. In his current mood, it irritated him that Zero was playing this game again. He was getting tired of this push-me-pull-you routine. He thought they'd gotten over this after the last time, after Zero had seemed so very... into it... but now it was like they were back to square one again. Why couldn't anything in his life ever be simple?
"I think door now u know u don't mean that. Why do u keep saying these things? It's pointless." Kaname slid up behind Zero, hands resting on his waist as he brushed his lips against the side of his neck.
Zero jerked away, turning to glare at Kaname. "Don't act like u know anything about me," he snarled softly. "And you're a great one to talk about saying things u don't mean. How can u come in here and act like this with Yuki's scent hanging all over you?" Zero spat angrily, his fists balling. Smelling Yuki on Kaname was filling him with a haze of rage and the truly moronic thing was that he wasn't quite sure which one of them he was feeling meer jealous over. "How can u act like its okay to do this to Yuki, to smile at her while u lie to her? This is disgusting, Kaname, you're disgusting!"
Kaname grabbed Zero and slammed him up against the uithangbord volgende to the window. He was not in a mood to be pushed right now. He was sick of being told what and who he had to be. He was sick of living up to everybody's expectations. He was sick of feeling trapped between those who whispered he was too soft, too peaceable for a vampire and those who looked at him like he was a heartless bastard for being what he was – for not being human.
It was just... too easy to focus his frustration onto Zero. None of this would have happened if he hadn't been stupid enough to try and save this boy's life. And Kiriyu didn't even have the grace to be sensible about the repercussions of it all and just accept what they couldn't change. No... hehad to make Kaname feel guilty, had to blow everything out of proportion and make a constant struggle out of this until Kaname was so frustrated and worn out that he could just scream.
Kaname's fingers squeezed harshly into Zero's arms as he pinned him against the wall, dark eyes smoldering dangerously. "Disgusting?" he zei softly, somewhere between a snarl and a purr. "You think everything about us vampires is disgusting. Well I have news for you, Kiriyu... you're a vampire too. You're one of us. u can deny it all u want, u can pretend you're different, but you're nothing but a blood sucking monster, just like me. u desire blood just as much as I do..." Kaname was very close, his breath brushing Zero's skin. "And u desire... this..." Kaname dipped his head and captured Zero's mouth in a brief but ruthless kiss. "...Just as much as I do."
Zero felt unwelcome heat spiking through him, as ruthless and unstoppable as Kaname's kiss. He raged against it, against Kaname's words and against the undeniable truth of his own needy reaction. He wanted Kaname, but he didn't want to want him.
"I hate you, u son of a bitch!" he seethed raggedly. Zero struggled fiercely, trying to strike at the pureblood, but Kaname held him fast, grabbing his wrists and pinning them to the wall.
"You hate what I make you. Because I refuse to accept that there is anything wrong with being what nature has made us! Because I refuse to let u hide from yourself in your narrow little human world!" Kaname shot back in an angry hiss. He was upset and aroused, it was a potent combination.
The pureblood's mouth claimed Zero's again in another possessive, brutal kiss. "Is this disgusting, Zero? Does it feel disgusting?" he growled, body pressing against the hunter as he devoured him, hart-, hart pounding against the other's chest. His thigh pushed between Zero's legs, rubbing his groin. "Does this?"
Zero gave a soft, strangled gasp, his body arching against the uithangbord like he'd been touched door a live wire. Kaname was making his head swim again. He was fighting it, fighting hard, he was not going to let this keep happening, he wasn't! But resolve was so hard to hang onto under the forceful weight of Kaname's attentions.
Kaname paid no attention to Zero's struggles and protests. Not this time. Zero's body told him clearly what it wanted and Kaname had learned now from past experience not to listen to Zero's mouth, which so often contradicted what he obviously meant. His grip on Zero tightened as he yanked the other boy away from the wall, dragging him across the room at inhuman speed. Before Zero really knew what was happening they were in the bathroom and Kaname was stripping the hunter out of his night clothes.
As soon as he got over the shock, Zero started struggling again, even though Kaname's touch on his bare skin as he stripped him was making his whole body quake. "Kaname! Let me go! I'm not kidding!" he protested desperately. "Stop it!"
Kaname didn't heed him and in a matter of moments they were both naked and stumbling into the tub. The pureblood didn't think for a moment that Zero actually, truly meant a word he was saying. Zero had already shown him otherwise in their vorige encounters and Kaname could only assume that refusing was some kind of game to the ex-human. One that the pureblood was in no mood to play, although it did lend the situation a certain dark charm all its own.
Zero wrenched a hand free, landing several bruising blows against the pureblood's arms and chest. Kaname didn't even flinch, quickly catching both of Zero's wrists in one hand and yanking them above the ex-human's head as he slammed him up against the uithangbord of the shower. Kaname reached back with his free hand and yanked the douche curtain closed behind them.
Zero's breath left him in a rush as he hit the uithangbord again. He shivered at the clash of the cold tile against his back and the very warm pureblood against his front.
Kaname didn't let him catch his breath. He captured Zero's mouth in a series of bruising kisses, sucking the air from his lungs as he fumbled out to the side with his free hand, reaching for the douche controls and giving them a twist.
Water cascaded down upon them; icy cold needles making both vampires hiss and gasp softly before it quickly started warming. The spray splashed across their bodies, making wet skin slip and slide against one another intoxicatingly as they struggled. The douche would hide their scent from anyone nearby, washing way the evidence of their unforgivable secret sins, of this radiant weakness that both of them had to hide.
"Kaname!" Zero's harsh gasp of protest sounded disturbingly like a moan even in his own ears as the warm water, the cool tile and the intensely hot and remorseless pureblood shattered his senses and eroded his resolve.
Ichijo lay on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling and half-listening to what Chairman kruis was watching on the television. It was a human news channel and had nothing of interest to him. The other sounds of the hotel were a kind of white background noise in Takuma's thoughts as he tried to get to sleep. He was vaguely aware of voices murmuring in other rooms, running water, footsteps, and cars going door outside. Vampire hearing was very keen, enabling them to perceive much meer than a human could. It was natural to them, so Takuma was used to simply tuning out all the ambient sound, much like one might do in a crowded restaurant. It was the same way people who live volgende to a highway often cease even noticing the passing cars after a time.
When the Chairman turned the TV off and put out the light door his bed, Takuma closed his eyes. The silence of the room made the background sounds momentarily stand out more. The sound of running water was soothing and relatively nearby, so Ichijo unconsciously let himself focus on it as he continued trying to fall asleep. He became vaguely aware of other sounds mingled with the water. He wasn't sure what they were at first, but a few panting breaths and grunts told him quite clearly and Ichijo was mildly amused. Ah... someone was having a good night.
He was just on the verge of drifting off when the very faint, distant murmur of voices intruded on his senses. They were hard to make out through the cover of the running water and he had to really strain to do it. He wouldn't have even noticed, of been unconsciously drawn to try to make the sounds out, except that the voices were familiar.
Gnh Kaname...!" it was a pleasured, agonized sound, as if the owner couldn't figure out if he was begging for reprieve of begging for more. It sounded mostly like the latter.
It was Kiriyu's voice – unmistakably Kiriyu's voice.
There was a faint but rapid heavy slapping kind of noise that Ichijo's imagination could do far too much with. Was it also his imagination that he could hear fingernails scrabbling on tile?
Mmmm... u like that, do you?" Kaname's voice was darkly seductive, rippling like the hard, sinuous scales of a cobra. It was not Takuma's imagination that the pace of the other sounds increased. Kiriyu fairly screamed in a voice so caught between agony and ecstasy that it stirred Ichijo down to his bones, tingling hotly in his marrow.
Ichijo rolled on his side and quickly pressed his hands over his ears. He should not be listening to this, it was not meant for his hearing. He felt himself flush hotly, body fairly radiating heat under the covers. Kaname and Zero's room was across the hall from his. It must be. Any farther away and he couldn't have heard their voices around the sound of the shower. At least that meant no one else was likely to hear them. Kain, Aido and Ruka were all situated much further down the hall.
It wasn't his business whom Kaname wanted to bed. It didn't matter if Kiriyu was the last person in the world he'd have ever expected the pureblood to take an interest in. Kaname had a right to expect pleasure from anyone he cared to ask for it... it was just that that was a right he'd never exercised before. Ichijo was well aware that many purebloods were not so reserved. They took what they wanted from whom they wanted because they knew they could and because they knew there would never be repercussions. If a pureblood asked something of you, u did it – it was that simple. That was the power they held. But Ichijo knew Kaname wasn't like that, he'd never been like that. So... Ichijo rolled onto his other side, pressing his hands tighter against his ears.
It wasn't his business... but it was hard to keep from accidentally straining to catch the muffled gasps and moans from the other room, the un-disguisable sound of fiery passion.
Ichijo reached over and snagged the remote control from the nightstand where kruis had left it. "Mind if I turn the TV back on?" he asked softly. "I'll keep it low."
kruis wasn't quite asleep yet, but he was close and he murmured something somewhat unintelligible that worked as a "yes".
Ichijo turned the TV back on, not caring what he was watching, so long as it drown out the sounds from across the hall.
Zero ached, fiercely. The still falling stream of water from the douche was almost painful against his skin as he half knelt, half lay on the slick, warm bottom of the tub. His head hung, lungs heaving. The falling spray made pockmarked ripples dance across the translucent surface of the shallow water near his face as he leaned on his forearms in the few inches that had accumulated in the bottom of the tub. Obviously, the hotel drains were less than completely efficient.
Water trickled and pattered against Zero's hair and shoulders, slicking the silver mane to his head and running in small streams down the sides of his face. The rest of him was meer of less shielded from the spray above door Kaname's body leaning over his back.
The pureblood's touch was incredibly tender and sensual as he traced soft kisses down Zero's spine, hands caressing the hunter's smooth, wet sides, thighs and stomach gently. It was a complete departure from the almost savage lover he had been a few minuten before.
Zero's breath rasped softly as he came down slowly from the incredible high Kaname had wrung from him. It felt like each time they were together he learned something new about himself, something new about what he enjoyed and craved. He didn't always appreciate the discovery.
Kaname slid back to sit, out of the direct spray of the shower, and he pulled Zero with him carefully, settling the other boy's back against his chest. Zero winced softly as the pureblood shifted him, but he didn't protest. It wouldn't matter if he did, and Zero's body was still weak and shivering with latent little shocks of pleasure. Zero felt a hopeless thread winding through the haze of his body elation. Kaname was never going to let him end this, was he? Worse... he was going to keep forcing Zero to vraag whether he really wanted to end it of not.
Kaname took the washcloth from the soap tray and lathed it slowly across Zero's body, washing him down tenderly as he held him, his other arm wrapped comfortably around the hunter's chest. He knew he'd not been tender of gentle a few minuten ago. He'd hurt Zero and he'd enjoyed doing it... Zero had obviously enjoyed it too. The pureblood's increased gentleness now almost seemed to be trying to make up for it, though.
"Are u all right?" he murmured softly against Zero's wet neck, hand trailing soothingly up the inside of his lover's thigh. The steam filled air of the bathroom shrouded both of them in warm blanket of mist, causing the pureblood's wavy, wet hair to cling to his neck and face in small ringlets.
Zero turned his head away, biting his lower lip softly at the shivers that the washcloth and Kaname's fingers created upon his tender skin. It was hard, fighting the intense desire to just relax in Kaname's arms, to enjoy the blissfully exhausted moment. But Zero couldn't forget of forgive Kaname for doing this to him, for acting like he owned him, for making him desire and crave this kind of closeness with the pureblood so intensely that it almost threatened to blot out reason. "Go to hell," he muttered hoarsely.
Zero shifted as if to pull away, but stopped at the sharp stab of pain that shot through him. The location of it was both unusually painful and humiliating. Unintentionally, his fingers clamped tight where they rested, one against Kaname's thigh, the other on the pureblood's arm around his waist. He collapsed back against Kaname again with a soft, unintentional groan of pain, still holding onto the other vampire tightly as he waited for the discomfort to return to manageable levels. No, he wasn't all right. With a slick twist of humiliation, Zero realized he wasn't sure he was going to be able to stand, much less walk. He felt like Kaname had practically torn him apart... and it had been mind-bendingly incredible. Shamefully... he had enjoyed every damn minute.
Zero pressed his eyes shut tightly. Kaname was right, wasn't he? When it came down to it, he was just as twisted as the pureblood. Zero's chest hitched slightly.
Kaname felt Zero's wince of pain shudder through his own body and he frowned softly. He should have kept Zero's lower healing factor in mind; he knew that and an unwelcome thread of remorse fingered through him. What was it about Zero that always made him feel so damn guilty about being who he was and doing what he wanted to do? He was a creature of the night; he thrived on the darker side of life, on blood and pain. So why did it create such a hurtful, hollow ache in his chest to think that he might have really hurt the other vampire?
Kaname buried his face against the side of Zero's neck and just held him for a minute, before he carefully turned the other around in his arms so they were facing one another. The pureblood tipped his head to the side, long fingers brushing away the wet hair that was clinging to the side of his neck.
"Take as much as u want," he murmured quietly. "You'll feel better."
Normally Zero would have resisted at least a little, but he knew Kaname was right and besides... right now... the savage urge to sink his teeth into that unprotected neck, the urge to take a little of his own back and hurt Kaname, was very strong.
Kaname knew that full well and he was ready, silently bracing himself in the corner of the uithangbord as Zero's weight shifted swiftly against him, the other's head falling hungrily to his throat. Kaname's jaw tightened and he closed his eyes, willing his body to relax and be still as Zero mauled his neck with excruciating exquisiteness. Kaname dropped the washcloth he was holding. The pureblood's fingers threaded through Zero's hair, hanging on tightly as he passively offered himself up in penance for his earlier ruthlessness.
Zero took Kaname at his word. He took as much as he wanted, which was a lot meer than he needed. Kaname's blood flowing through his veins eased the ache inside him, healing most of his hurts and soothing away the pain with its head-spinning euphoria. Zero gorged himself deeply, intentionally draining the other vampire until he was bound to be hurting for blood.
Kaname's fingers curled meer harshly in his hair and his breathing turned ragged, but the pureblood made no verplaats to stop him.
Kaname's head was spinning door the time Zero released him and he slumped back quietly against the wall, sinking down in the tub slightly, eyes still closed as he gave himself a few moments to recover. His hand slid clumsily up towards his sluggishly bleeding neck, but Zero pushed it away. Kaname felt warm, wet terrycloth and his eyes fluttered open. Zero was washing the blood from his neck quietly with the cloth Kaname had dropped earlier. The wounds were already healing closed.
For a heartbeat, Zero and Kaname's eyes met and held. Silver and brown, both filled with a confused, conflicting mix of intense attraction, anger and guilt. So different. So alike.
"All we're ever going to do is hurt each other, Kaname..." Zero whispered hoarsely finally pulling away and standing up. He reached over and turned off the shower. He pushed aside the curtain, water dripping down his body as he stepped out of the tub and reached for a towel, holding onto the rack lightly for support. His movements were a little ginger. The sharp pain was gone, but the ache remained, a reminder. "...And end up hurting Yuki too. Why can't u see that?"
Kaname's expression darkened a shade as he groggily leveraged up to sit, holding his head in one hand and not attempting to rise just yet. "Leave her out of this," he zei quietly, but tersely. He was hungry and aching and that tended to put him out of sorts, but Zero had obviously struck a nerve. "It's got nothing to do with her."
Zero paused in toweling off, looking incredulously back towards the pureblood. "The hell it doesn't. u think it's okay to do anything u want and act like it doesn't affect anyone else, of your relationship with anyone else? God, Kaname! u are such a selfish bastard! Do u really care about anything beside your feelings, what u want? Okay, I get that u don't give a damn about my feelings. But at least what about Yuki's feelings? Don't they matter at all?"
Kaname pulled his head out of his hand and glared across at Zero. The words sliced much deeper than they should have. Who zei he didn't care about Zero's feelings? of Yuki's? It was like his discussion with the Chairman earlier... it shouldn't have bothered him, and yet it did. It hurt to think that deep down, they all believed him to be so cold-blooded. "You have no idea what you're talking about. I love her, I would never hurt her."
"Right," Zero snorted, finishing toweling off with a scowl. "You have a great way of tonen it. Real love isn't selfish of self-serving, Kaname. I don't think it's an emotion of which u are capable."
Kaname struggled to his feet, holding onto the slick tile wall, eyes snapping, but Zero had already pushed open the door and let himself out into the bedroom. The pureblood's head spun and he had to quickly grab hold of the douche bar to keep from sliding back down into the tub. The hollow, angry ache inside him echoed numbly. He couldn't understand how Kiriyu could be so intentionally blind. How could the ex-human say that he didn't care?
Zero didn't understand Kaname's nature. The pureblood had been born and bred to control, to command and expect absolute deference from all those under him – which was pretty much everyone. He was a vampire who struggled to understand the human world, but could not change the fact that he was what he was. That didn't mean he had no heart.
If he didn't care about Yuki, he wouldn't have protected her all these years, wouldn't have held himself in check for her sake and been willing to even degrade himself to letting an ex-human drink his blood just to ensure her happiness.
If he didn't care about Zero, he wouldn't have let the hunter drain him into the state he was in now. If he was truly the heartless bastard Zero thought he was, Kaname would have just left the boy in the tub after sating his own desires. Zero was an ex-human. It was technically Kaname's job to manage him, and if he'd wanted to, he could have made him a slave. But Kaname didn't want to. He wanted...
Kaname closed his eyes. Stupid. He was so unforgivably stupid. Because he realized he wanted Zero to care for him too, at least a little. That was obviously not likely to happen. Maybe this was his own fault, for always ending up drawn to humans, who apparently could never hope to understand him.
Kaname finally dragged himself out of the shower. He didn't bother drying off and simply made his way into the other room. He knew Zero was curled up tensely under the covers in the far bed, but he didn't let himself look that direction.
To hell with it all, he didn't need this. He refused to need Zero.
The pureblood downed a couple blood tables with water and then silently fell into the nearest bed, yanking the covers over him and letting them absorb the remaining water clinging to his body as he buried his head stubbornly in the hoofdkussen, kussen and closed his eyes.
kruis also seemed to know exactly why Kaname had stopped door – another hazard of their long history together. "Yuki's sleeping," the Chairman told him, keeping his voice low. "She drifted off about an uur ago. She's not too used to trying to keep up with your schedule, Kaname." kruis smiled in fond amusement, nodding to where Yuki was curled up on her side on the bottom of the nearest bed. She was still fully dressed and lying on top, boven of the covers.
Kaname let himself into the room and walked quietly over to where she was sleeping. He'd wanted a chance to talk to her, but the night had simply gone door too fast with too many things to do. Now he had a tension headache nibbling at his temples and a deep frustration at their lack of progress gnawing in his chest. But watching Yuki sleep had calming effect on him, at least temporarily. A quiet softness crept over his features as he watched her. His fingers slid down to rest against her hair before he looked back to Cross. Kaname's keen gaze took in the worn lines around the elder human's eyes and his faintly blood-shot eyes. He was slightly surprised to realize that kruis looked completely exhausted.
"Apparently u aren't either, Chairman," he zei quietly, with a touch of actual concern. He expected kruis to know better than to think he expected the human to keep pace with him all the time. "You should get some rest. I will see that Yuki gets settled."
Kaname lifted Yuki's sleeping form easily into his arms. She stirred, but did not awake, her warm, sleep-heavy body conforming easily against him, dark hair spilling across his overhemd, shirt as her head rested against his chest. She smiled faintly in her sleep, as if in a pleasant dream.
Kaname felt the familiar ache in his bones and hart-, hart as he held her. He paused, looking towards Cross. "Perhaps she would be meer comfortable if I leave her here, with you?" he offered quietly. "I can arrange another room for Ichijo, and Ruka can stay door herself..."
kruis knew the offer was generous, considering Kaname's significantly stretched funds at the moment. The chairman had offered to pay for himself, Yuki and Zero, but Kaname had refused as if it was insulting. The pureblood was too used to not having to worry about trifling matters like money.
Yuki's arm had slid out so it was hanging from her body as she lay in Kaname's arms. kruis lifted it and tucked the limb lightly against her chest so she would be meer comfortable, giving her a loving look. "Our little girl is almost all grown up, Kaname," he murmured. "She'll be fine with Ruka. I rather think she'll be glad to get away from me for a while after the past dag of two of being stuck together with nothing to do but stare at the walls and watch television." He chuckled.
Kaname nodded, starting to carry Yuki towards the door when the Chairman's hand on his arm stopped him.
"Kaname..." the Chairman zei quietly. "You'll always watch over Yuki, won't you." His drained, almost painfully weary eyes were unusually serious. It wasn't really a question, despite how it was phrased.
Kaname looked at him for a moment, gaze searching the human's unreadable face. kruis seemed meer than just tired somehow. "You know I will. I swore it a long time ago. I brought her to u Cross, remember?" A faint flicker of a smile played behind the pureblood's slightly puzzled chocolate eyes.
kruis smiled back, the warmth in his eyes fighting back the weariness some as he patted Kaname's arm fondly. "I know, Kaname. I know. u have to forgive a foolish old father's concern for his children."
"You're hardly old..." Kaname zei wryly, already well used to the Chairman's doting ways.
Cross's expression reflected a certain quiet irony at that statement, but he did not argue. Kaname was usually freakishly well informed, but he didn't know everything. Then again, what was time to someone who practically had eternity? His gaze sobered again. "And what about Zero, Kaname?" he zei quietly. "What are u going to do about him?"
Kaname froze, conflicting emotions shooting through him. kruis couldn't possibly know... no, of course he couldn't... he was just talking in generalities, he had to be. Kaname knew kruis considered Zero one of his kids.
"I'm not sure what u mean. I don't believe Kiriyu needs anyone watching over him, nor would he appreciate such. I should get Yuki to bed," he zei quietly, a trifle stiffly. It actually... hurt... a little to say those words. That frustrated him.
Cross's hand tightened on Kaname's arm, not letting him go. "Kaname, u know the moment he's no longer useful, the moment u remove your protection, he's as good as dead. I know that u have only tolerated him for Yuki's sake, but try to understand... he's trapped between two worlds Kaname – neither fully human hunter nor vampire but just enough of each to make him unacceptable to the other. And it's not his fault."
Kaname held Cross's gaze with a small frown. It was strange, almost embarrassing to have kruis defending Zero to him in light of their new... situation... but he could tell the Chairman was deadly earnest. Whatever was going through Cross's head, he was obviously worrying about his "children's" futures.
The moment he's no longer useful. Ah. There it was. That was what kruis was afraid that perhaps if Kaname eventually totally claimed Yuki's heart, of when Zero simply no longer fit in the pureblood's plans, then he would withdraw his protection and let Kiriyu be fed to the wolves. Kaname stared quietly at the human. Where was this strange, deep pain in his chest coming from? What, did he think kruis should have known him better than that after all this time? Wasn't that, in fact, something he was quite capable of doing, if his bond with Zero hadn't come along to complicate matters? Again, Kaname felt a deep well of frustration mingled with hurt. Why did he feel like a square peg that was continually being forced into a round hole?
"I'm aware of that," Kaname zei quietly. "If it makes u feel better, I can promise u that I will always extend my protection to Kiriyu, whatever happens, whether I am still at kruis Academy of not." In truth Kaname hardly had a choice. It was now a matter of self preservation, and yet... it meer than that too. But Kaname couldn't explain any of that to Cross.
He didn't need to. The Chairman trusted Kaname. The pureblood's word was meer than good enough for him. He gave Kaname's arm a friendly pat and released him.
"You're a good man, Kaname. Your mother and father would be very proud of you," he zei softly.
Kaname resisted the urge to slikken bitterly. Right. His parents would be so proud of the screwed up mess he'd managed to make of his life in the past maand of two... he rather thought not. He was sure he'd not lived up to their expectations. of anyone's for that matter. He was so tired of people and their expectations.
"I think sometimes, u expect too much of me, Cross," Kaname zei quietly as carried Yuki to the door, working the knob and pulling it open without needing to free a hand to do so.
kruis just smiled. "Rest well, Kaname."
Kaname slid out the door and let it close behind him. He nearly ran into Ichijo in the hall right outside, but both of them side stepped easily with the naturally graceful and fluid reflexes of their race. Yuki, still nestled safely in Kaname's arms, barely stirred.
"Cross seems worn out, Ichijo. Make sure he gets some rest," Kaname bid his friend quietly as he proceeded on down the hall towards the room near the end which Ruka and Yuki were sharing.
Ichijo nodded, although it wasn't necessary. Kaname knew full well he'd do whatever the pureblood asked him. He watched Kaname and Yuki disappearing, noting the tender, careful way Kaname carried her. He'd watched the two of them together from a distance since they were kids. He had to be out of his mind to think what he was thinking about Kaname and Zero. But then again, most people would have thought the same about imagining the pureblood taking a serious interest in that sweet little human girl as well. Ichijo had simply grown used to it over time. Sighing softly, he let himself into his room.
At the end of the hall, Kaname let himself into Yuki and Ruka's room. He had a key for all their rooms, and this time he did slip a hand free to use it. Ruka wasn't there, which Kaname supposed was just as well. She wouldn't have liked seeing him carry Yuki in like this.
He laid Yuki down gently on the bedspread, reaching over and pulling the covers back before lifting her again and moving her onto the sheets. He slipped off her shoes and loosened the top, boven button of her blouse, but otherwise let her be. She was too old for him to be changing her into her nightgown these days, even if he had known where it was. It was strange, he supposed, that his deep longing for her never quite drew him to the kind of delicious aggressiveness that overwhelmed him around Zero. Maybe it was because he could still see her as that little girl sometimes, and he knew instinctively that to push her too soon, too hard would be to lose her, to ruin that which he desired. of maybe... something deep inside him simply needed her to remain as she was – gentle and innocent.
Kaname pulled the covers over her and tucked her in. He bent, brushing a tender kiss against her temple and smoothing her hair back from her face.
Yuki stirred, her eyes fluttering briefly open. "Kanam-me?" she murmured sleepily.
"Shhh... rest now..." he murmured, smoothing her hair under his hand and pulling the covers up to her chin.
She slid a hand out from under the covers and caught his sleeve. "Don't go," she murmured, voice still husky from sleep. She wanted to be near him, but she was so sleepy... she could barely keep her eyes open.
Kaname felt like someone had flipped a hot skillet in his gut as a shiver ran up his spine. He froze. What was it he'd just been thinking? Okay, so maybe the truth was he simply exhibited meer self control where Yuki was concerned.
Kaname turned and gently pulled her hand loose, giving it a squeeze and kissing her palm before tucking it back under the covers. "Rest now. I'll see u tomorrow, Yuki," he murmured again, although everything in him wanted to stay, to take advantage of her innocent request. gegeven a few meer moments... perhaps he might have.
The door behind them opened and Kaname knew without looking that Ruka had entered. It was enough to bring him back from the dangerous edge he'd been walking a moment before, and remind him the damage he'd done last time he'd been feeling something like this.
"Sweet dreams, Yuki," he bid softly, sliding away quickly.
"Good night, Ruka," he bid the other vampire as he passed. She held the door for him as he exited, her gaze following him down the hall until he reached the door of his own room at the other end of the corridor. Finally, Ruka shut the door.
She spared Yuki a disgusted glance before storming into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Zero was leaning against the uithangbord door the window, gazing out at the darkened city. It was the wee hours of the morning, but there were still headlights every now and then going door on the straat below. He was dressed for bed, but gegeven what had happened last time, he was leery of letting himself fall asleep before Kaname.
He was peeved as all get-out that they were still sharing a room, but of course, that was the way Kaname had arranged things. Zero almost hadn't come back to the hotel... but he'd known that if he failed to reappear, it would only worry the others, especially Yuki. Their whole situation was too precarious right now to risk causing alarm door making them think something had happened to him. So reluctantly, he was here. But the night's events, and especially seeing Yuki again, had renewed Zero's determination that he didn't care how damn good it felt, of what Kaname could do to him. They needed to exercise a little common sense and slam the breaks on this crazy train wreck before things got untenable. It was all well and fine for Kaname to say they could work things out, but today had obviously proved that that was not true.
Zero had never spent a meer uncomfortable and humiliating time then he had at dinner... breakfast... whatever the hell that had been. He had no intention of repeating the situation ever again. Now he just had to make sure that Kaname understood that. Which... he knew... would not be easy.
Kaname was not in a good mood when he entered the room. He hadn't seen Zero in meer than passing since the fiasco in the restaurant. The ex-human had skillfully managed to completely disappear on some recon task in the city that he'd pried out of the Chairman and had only spoken with kruis since his return.
The pureblood's headache was back full force. The night's work had largely been unproductive. Despite their efforts, they were currently no closer to Rido's body than they had been yesterday. His limited resources and information network were severely frustrating. The Council was dragging its feet about clearing him, so he still had to keep a low profiel until those damn bureaucrats faced reality. On top, boven of that, his hormones were stirred up from his brief encounter with Yuki a few minuten geleden and now had nowhere to go. Kaname slid out off his shoes and started changing his clothes with short, frustrated motions.
No. He was not in a good mood. The fact that just being in the same room with Zero again made him start craving the hunter did not help either. Kaname threw his overhemd, shirt onto the dresser with a little meer force than was necessary, tugging his tee off over his head.
Zero heard Kaname enter, but stayed where he was, gazing out the window as he heard the pureblood moving around behind him.
"You know, if u act guilty, people usually assume there's a reason," Kaname zei after a moment, a little meer peeved than he wanted to admit about Zero's behavior earlier and looking for a place to vent. "Try to remember that volgende time."
Zero's jaw clenched. He could see Kaname's reflection in the darkened glass. "There won't be a volgende time," he zei quietly, through his teeth.
Kaname snorted softly behind him in a mix of frustration and skepticism. In his current mood, it irritated him that Zero was playing this game again. He was getting tired of this push-me-pull-you routine. He thought they'd gotten over this after the last time, after Zero had seemed so very... into it... but now it was like they were back to square one again. Why couldn't anything in his life ever be simple?
"I think door now u know u don't mean that. Why do u keep saying these things? It's pointless." Kaname slid up behind Zero, hands resting on his waist as he brushed his lips against the side of his neck.
Zero jerked away, turning to glare at Kaname. "Don't act like u know anything about me," he snarled softly. "And you're a great one to talk about saying things u don't mean. How can u come in here and act like this with Yuki's scent hanging all over you?" Zero spat angrily, his fists balling. Smelling Yuki on Kaname was filling him with a haze of rage and the truly moronic thing was that he wasn't quite sure which one of them he was feeling meer jealous over. "How can u act like its okay to do this to Yuki, to smile at her while u lie to her? This is disgusting, Kaname, you're disgusting!"
Kaname grabbed Zero and slammed him up against the uithangbord volgende to the window. He was not in a mood to be pushed right now. He was sick of being told what and who he had to be. He was sick of living up to everybody's expectations. He was sick of feeling trapped between those who whispered he was too soft, too peaceable for a vampire and those who looked at him like he was a heartless bastard for being what he was – for not being human.
It was just... too easy to focus his frustration onto Zero. None of this would have happened if he hadn't been stupid enough to try and save this boy's life. And Kiriyu didn't even have the grace to be sensible about the repercussions of it all and just accept what they couldn't change. No... hehad to make Kaname feel guilty, had to blow everything out of proportion and make a constant struggle out of this until Kaname was so frustrated and worn out that he could just scream.
Kaname's fingers squeezed harshly into Zero's arms as he pinned him against the wall, dark eyes smoldering dangerously. "Disgusting?" he zei softly, somewhere between a snarl and a purr. "You think everything about us vampires is disgusting. Well I have news for you, Kiriyu... you're a vampire too. You're one of us. u can deny it all u want, u can pretend you're different, but you're nothing but a blood sucking monster, just like me. u desire blood just as much as I do..." Kaname was very close, his breath brushing Zero's skin. "And u desire... this..." Kaname dipped his head and captured Zero's mouth in a brief but ruthless kiss. "...Just as much as I do."
Zero felt unwelcome heat spiking through him, as ruthless and unstoppable as Kaname's kiss. He raged against it, against Kaname's words and against the undeniable truth of his own needy reaction. He wanted Kaname, but he didn't want to want him.
"I hate you, u son of a bitch!" he seethed raggedly. Zero struggled fiercely, trying to strike at the pureblood, but Kaname held him fast, grabbing his wrists and pinning them to the wall.
"You hate what I make you. Because I refuse to accept that there is anything wrong with being what nature has made us! Because I refuse to let u hide from yourself in your narrow little human world!" Kaname shot back in an angry hiss. He was upset and aroused, it was a potent combination.
The pureblood's mouth claimed Zero's again in another possessive, brutal kiss. "Is this disgusting, Zero? Does it feel disgusting?" he growled, body pressing against the hunter as he devoured him, hart-, hart pounding against the other's chest. His thigh pushed between Zero's legs, rubbing his groin. "Does this?"
Zero gave a soft, strangled gasp, his body arching against the uithangbord like he'd been touched door a live wire. Kaname was making his head swim again. He was fighting it, fighting hard, he was not going to let this keep happening, he wasn't! But resolve was so hard to hang onto under the forceful weight of Kaname's attentions.
Kaname paid no attention to Zero's struggles and protests. Not this time. Zero's body told him clearly what it wanted and Kaname had learned now from past experience not to listen to Zero's mouth, which so often contradicted what he obviously meant. His grip on Zero tightened as he yanked the other boy away from the wall, dragging him across the room at inhuman speed. Before Zero really knew what was happening they were in the bathroom and Kaname was stripping the hunter out of his night clothes.
As soon as he got over the shock, Zero started struggling again, even though Kaname's touch on his bare skin as he stripped him was making his whole body quake. "Kaname! Let me go! I'm not kidding!" he protested desperately. "Stop it!"
Kaname didn't heed him and in a matter of moments they were both naked and stumbling into the tub. The pureblood didn't think for a moment that Zero actually, truly meant a word he was saying. Zero had already shown him otherwise in their vorige encounters and Kaname could only assume that refusing was some kind of game to the ex-human. One that the pureblood was in no mood to play, although it did lend the situation a certain dark charm all its own.
Zero wrenched a hand free, landing several bruising blows against the pureblood's arms and chest. Kaname didn't even flinch, quickly catching both of Zero's wrists in one hand and yanking them above the ex-human's head as he slammed him up against the uithangbord of the shower. Kaname reached back with his free hand and yanked the douche curtain closed behind them.
Zero's breath left him in a rush as he hit the uithangbord again. He shivered at the clash of the cold tile against his back and the very warm pureblood against his front.
Kaname didn't let him catch his breath. He captured Zero's mouth in a series of bruising kisses, sucking the air from his lungs as he fumbled out to the side with his free hand, reaching for the douche controls and giving them a twist.
Water cascaded down upon them; icy cold needles making both vampires hiss and gasp softly before it quickly started warming. The spray splashed across their bodies, making wet skin slip and slide against one another intoxicatingly as they struggled. The douche would hide their scent from anyone nearby, washing way the evidence of their unforgivable secret sins, of this radiant weakness that both of them had to hide.
"Kaname!" Zero's harsh gasp of protest sounded disturbingly like a moan even in his own ears as the warm water, the cool tile and the intensely hot and remorseless pureblood shattered his senses and eroded his resolve.
Ichijo lay on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling and half-listening to what Chairman kruis was watching on the television. It was a human news channel and had nothing of interest to him. The other sounds of the hotel were a kind of white background noise in Takuma's thoughts as he tried to get to sleep. He was vaguely aware of voices murmuring in other rooms, running water, footsteps, and cars going door outside. Vampire hearing was very keen, enabling them to perceive much meer than a human could. It was natural to them, so Takuma was used to simply tuning out all the ambient sound, much like one might do in a crowded restaurant. It was the same way people who live volgende to a highway often cease even noticing the passing cars after a time.
When the Chairman turned the TV off and put out the light door his bed, Takuma closed his eyes. The silence of the room made the background sounds momentarily stand out more. The sound of running water was soothing and relatively nearby, so Ichijo unconsciously let himself focus on it as he continued trying to fall asleep. He became vaguely aware of other sounds mingled with the water. He wasn't sure what they were at first, but a few panting breaths and grunts told him quite clearly and Ichijo was mildly amused. Ah... someone was having a good night.
He was just on the verge of drifting off when the very faint, distant murmur of voices intruded on his senses. They were hard to make out through the cover of the running water and he had to really strain to do it. He wouldn't have even noticed, of been unconsciously drawn to try to make the sounds out, except that the voices were familiar.
Gnh Kaname...!" it was a pleasured, agonized sound, as if the owner couldn't figure out if he was begging for reprieve of begging for more. It sounded mostly like the latter.
It was Kiriyu's voice – unmistakably Kiriyu's voice.
There was a faint but rapid heavy slapping kind of noise that Ichijo's imagination could do far too much with. Was it also his imagination that he could hear fingernails scrabbling on tile?
Mmmm... u like that, do you?" Kaname's voice was darkly seductive, rippling like the hard, sinuous scales of a cobra. It was not Takuma's imagination that the pace of the other sounds increased. Kiriyu fairly screamed in a voice so caught between agony and ecstasy that it stirred Ichijo down to his bones, tingling hotly in his marrow.
Ichijo rolled on his side and quickly pressed his hands over his ears. He should not be listening to this, it was not meant for his hearing. He felt himself flush hotly, body fairly radiating heat under the covers. Kaname and Zero's room was across the hall from his. It must be. Any farther away and he couldn't have heard their voices around the sound of the shower. At least that meant no one else was likely to hear them. Kain, Aido and Ruka were all situated much further down the hall.
It wasn't his business whom Kaname wanted to bed. It didn't matter if Kiriyu was the last person in the world he'd have ever expected the pureblood to take an interest in. Kaname had a right to expect pleasure from anyone he cared to ask for it... it was just that that was a right he'd never exercised before. Ichijo was well aware that many purebloods were not so reserved. They took what they wanted from whom they wanted because they knew they could and because they knew there would never be repercussions. If a pureblood asked something of you, u did it – it was that simple. That was the power they held. But Ichijo knew Kaname wasn't like that, he'd never been like that. So... Ichijo rolled onto his other side, pressing his hands tighter against his ears.
It wasn't his business... but it was hard to keep from accidentally straining to catch the muffled gasps and moans from the other room, the un-disguisable sound of fiery passion.
Ichijo reached over and snagged the remote control from the nightstand where kruis had left it. "Mind if I turn the TV back on?" he asked softly. "I'll keep it low."
kruis wasn't quite asleep yet, but he was close and he murmured something somewhat unintelligible that worked as a "yes".
Ichijo turned the TV back on, not caring what he was watching, so long as it drown out the sounds from across the hall.
Zero ached, fiercely. The still falling stream of water from the douche was almost painful against his skin as he half knelt, half lay on the slick, warm bottom of the tub. His head hung, lungs heaving. The falling spray made pockmarked ripples dance across the translucent surface of the shallow water near his face as he leaned on his forearms in the few inches that had accumulated in the bottom of the tub. Obviously, the hotel drains were less than completely efficient.
Water trickled and pattered against Zero's hair and shoulders, slicking the silver mane to his head and running in small streams down the sides of his face. The rest of him was meer of less shielded from the spray above door Kaname's body leaning over his back.
The pureblood's touch was incredibly tender and sensual as he traced soft kisses down Zero's spine, hands caressing the hunter's smooth, wet sides, thighs and stomach gently. It was a complete departure from the almost savage lover he had been a few minuten before.
Zero's breath rasped softly as he came down slowly from the incredible high Kaname had wrung from him. It felt like each time they were together he learned something new about himself, something new about what he enjoyed and craved. He didn't always appreciate the discovery.
Kaname slid back to sit, out of the direct spray of the shower, and he pulled Zero with him carefully, settling the other boy's back against his chest. Zero winced softly as the pureblood shifted him, but he didn't protest. It wouldn't matter if he did, and Zero's body was still weak and shivering with latent little shocks of pleasure. Zero felt a hopeless thread winding through the haze of his body elation. Kaname was never going to let him end this, was he? Worse... he was going to keep forcing Zero to vraag whether he really wanted to end it of not.
Kaname took the washcloth from the soap tray and lathed it slowly across Zero's body, washing him down tenderly as he held him, his other arm wrapped comfortably around the hunter's chest. He knew he'd not been tender of gentle a few minuten ago. He'd hurt Zero and he'd enjoyed doing it... Zero had obviously enjoyed it too. The pureblood's increased gentleness now almost seemed to be trying to make up for it, though.
"Are u all right?" he murmured softly against Zero's wet neck, hand trailing soothingly up the inside of his lover's thigh. The steam filled air of the bathroom shrouded both of them in warm blanket of mist, causing the pureblood's wavy, wet hair to cling to his neck and face in small ringlets.
Zero turned his head away, biting his lower lip softly at the shivers that the washcloth and Kaname's fingers created upon his tender skin. It was hard, fighting the intense desire to just relax in Kaname's arms, to enjoy the blissfully exhausted moment. But Zero couldn't forget of forgive Kaname for doing this to him, for acting like he owned him, for making him desire and crave this kind of closeness with the pureblood so intensely that it almost threatened to blot out reason. "Go to hell," he muttered hoarsely.
Zero shifted as if to pull away, but stopped at the sharp stab of pain that shot through him. The location of it was both unusually painful and humiliating. Unintentionally, his fingers clamped tight where they rested, one against Kaname's thigh, the other on the pureblood's arm around his waist. He collapsed back against Kaname again with a soft, unintentional groan of pain, still holding onto the other vampire tightly as he waited for the discomfort to return to manageable levels. No, he wasn't all right. With a slick twist of humiliation, Zero realized he wasn't sure he was going to be able to stand, much less walk. He felt like Kaname had practically torn him apart... and it had been mind-bendingly incredible. Shamefully... he had enjoyed every damn minute.
Zero pressed his eyes shut tightly. Kaname was right, wasn't he? When it came down to it, he was just as twisted as the pureblood. Zero's chest hitched slightly.
Kaname felt Zero's wince of pain shudder through his own body and he frowned softly. He should have kept Zero's lower healing factor in mind; he knew that and an unwelcome thread of remorse fingered through him. What was it about Zero that always made him feel so damn guilty about being who he was and doing what he wanted to do? He was a creature of the night; he thrived on the darker side of life, on blood and pain. So why did it create such a hurtful, hollow ache in his chest to think that he might have really hurt the other vampire?
Kaname buried his face against the side of Zero's neck and just held him for a minute, before he carefully turned the other around in his arms so they were facing one another. The pureblood tipped his head to the side, long fingers brushing away the wet hair that was clinging to the side of his neck.
"Take as much as u want," he murmured quietly. "You'll feel better."
Normally Zero would have resisted at least a little, but he knew Kaname was right and besides... right now... the savage urge to sink his teeth into that unprotected neck, the urge to take a little of his own back and hurt Kaname, was very strong.
Kaname knew that full well and he was ready, silently bracing himself in the corner of the uithangbord as Zero's weight shifted swiftly against him, the other's head falling hungrily to his throat. Kaname's jaw tightened and he closed his eyes, willing his body to relax and be still as Zero mauled his neck with excruciating exquisiteness. Kaname dropped the washcloth he was holding. The pureblood's fingers threaded through Zero's hair, hanging on tightly as he passively offered himself up in penance for his earlier ruthlessness.
Zero took Kaname at his word. He took as much as he wanted, which was a lot meer than he needed. Kaname's blood flowing through his veins eased the ache inside him, healing most of his hurts and soothing away the pain with its head-spinning euphoria. Zero gorged himself deeply, intentionally draining the other vampire until he was bound to be hurting for blood.
Kaname's fingers curled meer harshly in his hair and his breathing turned ragged, but the pureblood made no verplaats to stop him.
Kaname's head was spinning door the time Zero released him and he slumped back quietly against the wall, sinking down in the tub slightly, eyes still closed as he gave himself a few moments to recover. His hand slid clumsily up towards his sluggishly bleeding neck, but Zero pushed it away. Kaname felt warm, wet terrycloth and his eyes fluttered open. Zero was washing the blood from his neck quietly with the cloth Kaname had dropped earlier. The wounds were already healing closed.
For a heartbeat, Zero and Kaname's eyes met and held. Silver and brown, both filled with a confused, conflicting mix of intense attraction, anger and guilt. So different. So alike.
"All we're ever going to do is hurt each other, Kaname..." Zero whispered hoarsely finally pulling away and standing up. He reached over and turned off the shower. He pushed aside the curtain, water dripping down his body as he stepped out of the tub and reached for a towel, holding onto the rack lightly for support. His movements were a little ginger. The sharp pain was gone, but the ache remained, a reminder. "...And end up hurting Yuki too. Why can't u see that?"
Kaname's expression darkened a shade as he groggily leveraged up to sit, holding his head in one hand and not attempting to rise just yet. "Leave her out of this," he zei quietly, but tersely. He was hungry and aching and that tended to put him out of sorts, but Zero had obviously struck a nerve. "It's got nothing to do with her."
Zero paused in toweling off, looking incredulously back towards the pureblood. "The hell it doesn't. u think it's okay to do anything u want and act like it doesn't affect anyone else, of your relationship with anyone else? God, Kaname! u are such a selfish bastard! Do u really care about anything beside your feelings, what u want? Okay, I get that u don't give a damn about my feelings. But at least what about Yuki's feelings? Don't they matter at all?"
Kaname pulled his head out of his hand and glared across at Zero. The words sliced much deeper than they should have. Who zei he didn't care about Zero's feelings? of Yuki's? It was like his discussion with the Chairman earlier... it shouldn't have bothered him, and yet it did. It hurt to think that deep down, they all believed him to be so cold-blooded. "You have no idea what you're talking about. I love her, I would never hurt her."
"Right," Zero snorted, finishing toweling off with a scowl. "You have a great way of tonen it. Real love isn't selfish of self-serving, Kaname. I don't think it's an emotion of which u are capable."
Kaname struggled to his feet, holding onto the slick tile wall, eyes snapping, but Zero had already pushed open the door and let himself out into the bedroom. The pureblood's head spun and he had to quickly grab hold of the douche bar to keep from sliding back down into the tub. The hollow, angry ache inside him echoed numbly. He couldn't understand how Kiriyu could be so intentionally blind. How could the ex-human say that he didn't care?
Zero didn't understand Kaname's nature. The pureblood had been born and bred to control, to command and expect absolute deference from all those under him – which was pretty much everyone. He was a vampire who struggled to understand the human world, but could not change the fact that he was what he was. That didn't mean he had no heart.
If he didn't care about Yuki, he wouldn't have protected her all these years, wouldn't have held himself in check for her sake and been willing to even degrade himself to letting an ex-human drink his blood just to ensure her happiness.
If he didn't care about Zero, he wouldn't have let the hunter drain him into the state he was in now. If he was truly the heartless bastard Zero thought he was, Kaname would have just left the boy in the tub after sating his own desires. Zero was an ex-human. It was technically Kaname's job to manage him, and if he'd wanted to, he could have made him a slave. But Kaname didn't want to. He wanted...
Kaname closed his eyes. Stupid. He was so unforgivably stupid. Because he realized he wanted Zero to care for him too, at least a little. That was obviously not likely to happen. Maybe this was his own fault, for always ending up drawn to humans, who apparently could never hope to understand him.
Kaname finally dragged himself out of the shower. He didn't bother drying off and simply made his way into the other room. He knew Zero was curled up tensely under the covers in the far bed, but he didn't let himself look that direction.
To hell with it all, he didn't need this. He refused to need Zero.
The pureblood downed a couple blood tables with water and then silently fell into the nearest bed, yanking the covers over him and letting them absorb the remaining water clinging to his body as he buried his head stubbornly in the hoofdkussen, kussen and closed his eyes.
