Note: I am not obsessed with Selena Gomez.
Other note: I know I missed some stuff and that this is an extremely shortened version. I performed this with some friends, and we didn't have enough people to do all seven dwarfs. So all there is is Grumpy.
Scene 1- The Queen consults her magic mirror.
Queen-Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?
Mirror-That's easy! Selena Gomez!
Queen- OTHER THAN HER!
Mirror- Then...hmm...Taylor Swift.
Queen- Why??
Mirror-According to the August issue of J-14 magazine, Selena Gomez was found the prettiest in a vote of 342 people.
Queen-Well, Selena Gomez is too far from here. I'll take my anger out on Snow White, even though she's not drop-dead gorgeous like moi.
Scene 2-The Queen talks with the huntsman.
Queen-I need u to kill Snow White!
Huntsman-Don't u want me to bring u her hart-, hart in a box of something?
Queen-Blood makes me nauseous. Just clip her toenails something. SNOW WHITE!
*Snow White enters*
Snow White-Yes, stepmother?
Queen- You're banished from the castle.
Snow White-*runs out crying*
Scene 3-Snow White runs through the forest
Snow White-I'm not scared! I laugh in the face of danger-OMG IT'S A TREE!!!!! OMG IT'S A seconde TREE!!!!!!!! *drops to the ground and curls into the fetal position*
Snow White- Where are my animal friends?
*tweet from a distance*
Snow White- THAT'S PATHETIC!
*Huntsman enters*
Huntsman- Are u unconscious yet?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- How about now?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- Can I just clip your toenails?
Snow White- Okay! They were getting long anyway.
Scene 4-The Queen talks to her magic mirror.
Queen-HA HA HA! I have killed Snow White!
Mirror- Um, there's a flaw in your plan.
Queen-WHAT?
Mirror- Just because u have someone's toenails doesn't mean they're dead.
Queen- Ugh. If u want something done right, u have to do it yourself. I'll feed her a poisoned apple...and disguise myself as an ugly hag!
Mirror- Um, but u are ugly. u should disguise yourself as someone pretty, like Selena Gomez.
Queen- That's a great idea! BUT I'M NOT UGLY.
Mirror- Yes, u are.
Queen- WHO ASKED YOU?!?!?!?!
Scene 5- Snow White finds Grumpy's house.
Snow White- Oh, what a sweet little house! I think I'll just barge in, clean up, and use the oven to make some pie.
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope no one broke into my house!*
*Grumpy enters his house, sees Snow White, and lifts up his mine pick*
Grumpy- WHO ARE u AND WHAT ARE u DOING IN MY HOUSE?
Snow White- I'm Snow White. I was cleaning and making pie.
Grumpy- When will the pie be ready?
Snow White- Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Grumpy- Okay then!
Scene 6- The volgende dag at noon, Grumpy's house. Snow White is cleaning while Grumpy is in the mines*
*Queen, disguised as Selena Gomez, enters*
Queen- Hey, girlfriend!
Snow White- Selena Gomez! I'm your biggest fan!!
Queen- Thanks! Anyway, I brought u an apple!
Snow White- But I don't like apples.
Queen- But this one's special.
Snow White- Okay! But first I have to go potty.
Queen- But if u eat it, u get a part on my show, for 'Girl eating Apple'.
Snow White- But can I go potty first?
Queen- JUST EAT THE APPLE!
Snow White- *takes a bite* I...am...dying...I'M TOO YOUNG TO-*dies*
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope nobody died!* *sees Selena Gomez exiting the house, walking onto a cliff* Selena Gomez! Can I have your autograph?
Queen- Um, sure. Just let me find a pen...
Grumpy- Here's one! On the ground! *Reaches for it, causing the Queen to twist around, lose her balance, and fall off the cliff* SELENA! Oh no, what am I going to tell David Henrie? *goes back to house and sees Snow White* Oh no! The cleaning lady! Who's going to make me pie and fix the toilet?
*Prince enters*
Grumpy- PRINCE! WAKE HER UP, WAKE HER UP!
Prince- Alright. *Leans in close to Snow White, Puts his hands on her shoulders* WAKE UP! WAKE UP! (nothing happens) Yup, she's dead alright. *turns to leave*
Grumpy- *grabs his leg to prevent him from leaving* NO! Kiss her! Kiss her! I want pie!
Prince- NO WAY, MIDGET!
*REAL Selena Gomez enters*
Selena- I know what she needs! *gives her "theater kisses", an air kiss on each cheek*
Snow White- OMG!!! SELENA GOMEZ!!!
Selena- I knew it.
Scene 7- Mirror wondered what was taking the Queen so long, and magically transported to her broken body*
Mirror- *sobs*
Queen- Stop crying! I'm only injured!
Mirror- BUT THEY CANCELED WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE!! *sobs*
Queen- *flops back down*
FADE OUT
Other note: I know I missed some stuff and that this is an extremely shortened version. I performed this with some friends, and we didn't have enough people to do all seven dwarfs. So all there is is Grumpy.
Scene 1- The Queen consults her magic mirror.
Queen-Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?
Mirror-That's easy! Selena Gomez!
Queen- OTHER THAN HER!
Mirror- Then...hmm...Taylor Swift.
Queen- Why??
Mirror-According to the August issue of J-14 magazine, Selena Gomez was found the prettiest in a vote of 342 people.
Queen-Well, Selena Gomez is too far from here. I'll take my anger out on Snow White, even though she's not drop-dead gorgeous like moi.
Scene 2-The Queen talks with the huntsman.
Queen-I need u to kill Snow White!
Huntsman-Don't u want me to bring u her hart-, hart in a box of something?
Queen-Blood makes me nauseous. Just clip her toenails something. SNOW WHITE!
*Snow White enters*
Snow White-Yes, stepmother?
Queen- You're banished from the castle.
Snow White-*runs out crying*
Scene 3-Snow White runs through the forest
Snow White-I'm not scared! I laugh in the face of danger-OMG IT'S A TREE!!!!! OMG IT'S A seconde TREE!!!!!!!! *drops to the ground and curls into the fetal position*
Snow White- Where are my animal friends?
*tweet from a distance*
Snow White- THAT'S PATHETIC!
*Huntsman enters*
Huntsman- Are u unconscious yet?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- How about now?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- Can I just clip your toenails?
Snow White- Okay! They were getting long anyway.
Scene 4-The Queen talks to her magic mirror.
Queen-HA HA HA! I have killed Snow White!
Mirror- Um, there's a flaw in your plan.
Queen-WHAT?
Mirror- Just because u have someone's toenails doesn't mean they're dead.
Queen- Ugh. If u want something done right, u have to do it yourself. I'll feed her a poisoned apple...and disguise myself as an ugly hag!
Mirror- Um, but u are ugly. u should disguise yourself as someone pretty, like Selena Gomez.
Queen- That's a great idea! BUT I'M NOT UGLY.
Mirror- Yes, u are.
Queen- WHO ASKED YOU?!?!?!?!
Scene 5- Snow White finds Grumpy's house.
Snow White- Oh, what a sweet little house! I think I'll just barge in, clean up, and use the oven to make some pie.
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope no one broke into my house!*
*Grumpy enters his house, sees Snow White, and lifts up his mine pick*
Grumpy- WHO ARE u AND WHAT ARE u DOING IN MY HOUSE?
Snow White- I'm Snow White. I was cleaning and making pie.
Grumpy- When will the pie be ready?
Snow White- Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Grumpy- Okay then!
Scene 6- The volgende dag at noon, Grumpy's house. Snow White is cleaning while Grumpy is in the mines*
*Queen, disguised as Selena Gomez, enters*
Queen- Hey, girlfriend!
Snow White- Selena Gomez! I'm your biggest fan!!
Queen- Thanks! Anyway, I brought u an apple!
Snow White- But I don't like apples.
Queen- But this one's special.
Snow White- Okay! But first I have to go potty.
Queen- But if u eat it, u get a part on my show, for 'Girl eating Apple'.
Snow White- But can I go potty first?
Queen- JUST EAT THE APPLE!
Snow White- *takes a bite* I...am...dying...I'M TOO YOUNG TO-*dies*
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope nobody died!* *sees Selena Gomez exiting the house, walking onto a cliff* Selena Gomez! Can I have your autograph?
Queen- Um, sure. Just let me find a pen...
Grumpy- Here's one! On the ground! *Reaches for it, causing the Queen to twist around, lose her balance, and fall off the cliff* SELENA! Oh no, what am I going to tell David Henrie? *goes back to house and sees Snow White* Oh no! The cleaning lady! Who's going to make me pie and fix the toilet?
*Prince enters*
Grumpy- PRINCE! WAKE HER UP, WAKE HER UP!
Prince- Alright. *Leans in close to Snow White, Puts his hands on her shoulders* WAKE UP! WAKE UP! (nothing happens) Yup, she's dead alright. *turns to leave*
Grumpy- *grabs his leg to prevent him from leaving* NO! Kiss her! Kiss her! I want pie!
Prince- NO WAY, MIDGET!
*REAL Selena Gomez enters*
Selena- I know what she needs! *gives her "theater kisses", an air kiss on each cheek*
Snow White- OMG!!! SELENA GOMEZ!!!
Selena- I knew it.
Scene 7- Mirror wondered what was taking the Queen so long, and magically transported to her broken body*
Mirror- *sobs*
Queen- Stop crying! I'm only injured!
Mirror- BUT THEY CANCELED WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE!! *sobs*
Queen- *flops back down*
FADE OUT
On the fourth dag of Princess
Walt Disney gave to me,
four braiding girls
three fairy spells
two lucky pals
and the wisdom of an old tree.
As difficult as my pick for march was, as easy was the one for April. After all, the most obvious holiday to feature is Easter, and there is only one princess which came back from the death. The most difficult part for this one was to decide which dag to mark...the friday, the sunday, the monday of all of them. I felt that "all of them" would be going a little bit overboard, so I finally went for the monday. I hope that is okay with you.
And naturally I...
continue reading...
Walt Disney gave to me,
four braiding girls
three fairy spells
two lucky pals
and the wisdom of an old tree.
As difficult as my pick for march was, as easy was the one for April. After all, the most obvious holiday to feature is Easter, and there is only one princess which came back from the death. The most difficult part for this one was to decide which dag to mark...the friday, the sunday, the monday of all of them. I felt that "all of them" would be going a little bit overboard, so I finally went for the monday. I hope that is okay with you.
And naturally I...
