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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Langley, West Virginia.

Commander Kane: *Walks up to Ted* How are the new watches coming out?
Ted: I think you'll be pleased with the work me, and Mabel did. door the way, how's Johnny doing?
Commander Kane: We found a replacement who's willing to use his name to protect his identity.

Sundsvall Sweden. Johnny Lightning was driving south on the Sundsvallbron. A bridge that was part of the E4 highway. His car was a shiny silver Alfa Romeo.

Johnny: *Smiling as he looks at himself in the rear view mirror. He then sees a red Nissan close to him*

The red car overtook him, and a black man pointed a MP7 at Johnny.

Johnny: *Applies the brakes*
Driver: *Gets in front of Johnny's car*
Civilians: *Driving around the two, honking their horns*
Johnny: *Pulls out a 1911, and shoots two of the guys in the car*
Black Man: *Shoots Johnny's pistol with his MP7*
Johnny: *Ducks while punching the black man*
Black Man: *Drops his MP7*
Johnny: *Kicks the black man from the MP7, and grabs it*

Another black man got out of the car, and Johnny shot him.

Black Man: *Wrestles Johnny onto the ground, attempting to get his MP7 back*
Johnny: *Kicks the black man over him, and shoots him*

He got back into his car, and drove away. As he got off the highway, he stopped in front of a tall brick building, and saw a woman waiting for him.

Woman: u want to have fun mister? Come upstairs with me.
Johnny: *Makes his car disappear into his watch* This dag just keeps getting better, and better.

Song: link

Johnny Lightning

Starring Brett Dejneka as Johnny Lightning

A montage shortly begins with various characters from older episodes.

Commander Kane: *Looks at Ted as he enters his room. He turns off his laptop*
Mr. Craig: *Inside a trailer with the Mexicans, and Japanese*
Lewis: *Runs with Mark, and Derek*
Estevez: *Looking to the left*

Also starring Jack Nicholson as Commander Kane

Sal: *Steps out of his car*
Mabel: *Picks up her phone*
Jess: *Sitting volgende to Kate*
Sid: *Gets out of a truck*

Marie Schunemann as Mabel Exla

Trevor: *Knocks on the door*
Chris: *Sitting at a big tafel, tabel with eight meer people*
Henry: *Opens a door, and walks downstairs*
Ms. A: *Walks into her office, and opens a drawer*
Benjamin: *Pulling out a gun*

With Sir Topham Hatt as Ted Esler

Debbie: *Walks into a room*
Enemy Spy: *Looks back, and sees smoke from dynamite, but the car explodes, and he is dead*
Cara: *Gets out of the car with Edith*
Charlotte: *She watches the women walk into the hotel*
Karen: *Walks onto the sidewalk in front of Johnny's house*

Episode 14: Montana

Smoky: *Grabs a plate, and takes a few pretzels*
Victoria: *Watching her soldiers with pride*
Sasha: *Looks at the parade behind her*
Ellie: *Runs out of Johnny's 1958 Plymouth Belvedere*
Virgil: *Checking his watch*

Special Guest Stars

John Boyega as Henry Dillinger

Brian: *Arrives with 457 other SJW members*

President Trump was standing on a balcony, enjoying the sunrise.

Chris Rock as Mel Parker

Ferris: *Types Anti-European Intelligence Service onto a zoek computer*
Talia: *Turns on a flashlight mounted onto her USP 45*
Discord: *Gets into a Bugatti Chiron, and starts the engine. A turn tafel, tabel turns the car to face the departure ramp*

Jamie Foxx as Warren Noble

Johnny: *Arrives at the pentagon in his Alfa Romeo*
Security Guard: He's here sir.
Commander Kane: Excellent.
Johnny: *Parks his car volgende to a trio of Chrysler's*
CIA Agent: hallo hey, look what we got here. Lightning's got himself a converteerbaar, cabriolet now.
Johnny: And u got matching cars with your brothers. How convenient.
CIA Agent: *Fistbumps Johnny* u be good now, okay?
Johnny: Will do. *Walks to Commander Kane*

When he entered his office, he quickly sat down, waiting for his boss to speak.

Commander Kane: I believe the Social Justice Warriors are going to plan a hostile threat against Canada.
Johnny: They seem to be all over the place. I just ran into some of their BLM members while I was doing a mission in Sweden.
Commander Kane: They've stolen a prototype from a convoy in Montana. We believe they may be somewhere in the eastern half of the state.
Johnny: When do I go to stop them?
Commander Kane: Now.
Johnny: *Nods, and stands up*
Commander Kane: And one other thing. Our vorige agent who went door the name Johnny Lightning cracked his nervous system while on assignment in Germany. He's counting on u to be his replacement. Don't fail him, because if u do, u will fail me.
Johnny: I won't let u down Commander. *Leaves the office*

Johnny walked into Mabel's room. He saw her with Ted.

Mabel: Good morning Johnny.
Johnny: Hello Mabel. Ted.
Ted: Hi John. Check out the new watch I made for you.
Johnny: *Picks up his watch* So besides spawning cars, what else can I do?
Mabel: We added a laser.
Ted: There's a very tiny button on the right side of the time adjuster. The time adjuster fires the laser when u hit that button.
Mabel: *Shows Johnny a square piece of metal on a nearby counter top* Here's a target for you.
Ted: Just aim at the metal when you're ready, and fire.
Johnny: *Points his watch at the metal, and fires the laser*
Mabel: Well done.
Johnny: *Stops*
Ted: The four cars that your predecessor had are still on the watch along with your Alfa Romeo. We also added a Nissan GTR, and a Chrysler 300.
Johnny: Now I can fit in with Lucius and his brothers.
Mabel: Good luck in Montana.
Johnny: *Winks as he walks out of the room*

At a big log cabine door a lake.

Mel: The Feminazis want revenge on the CIA for foiling their plot to rob money. As soon as we finish demolishing Canada, we'll destroy the Pentagon, and the entire District of Columbia.
Henry: What do we do if we encounter any resistance?
Mel: That's a stupid question. u kill them. *Hits a button on a remote, and watches a revolving wall* This arsenal is available to everyone, in order to stop any enemy attacks, big of small.
Henry: *Staring at the hundreds of guns in front of him* That'll get the job done.
Mel: *Watching two men walk to him*
BLM Soldier 4: We have the missiles waiting for u outside.
BLM Soldier 3: No one knows we have them.
Mel: Good, good. I'll call Warren so he can hack the codes, and we can launch the missiles into Canada.

Johnny made his way into Montana. He was driving towards a set of coordinates that would take him to the outskirts of Miles City. His Alfa Romeo shined in the sunlight.

Back at the log cabin

Warren: *Walks into the room, and sees Mel, and Henry* Where do u have the missiles?
Mel: Outside. Follow me.
Johnny: *Turns left, and goes onto a highway* I hope that Canadian agent I talked to is already there.
Mel: *Pulls off a tarp, and shows Warren the missiles* How long will it take u to get these ready?
Warren: Don't wait too long. Feel free to grab some lunch while I do this. When u come back, I'll already have the missiles set up to attack Canada.
Mel: Beautiful.
Johnny: *Sees the log cabin, and stops his car. He hits a button making the Alfa go back into his watch* Remington, do your best. *Puts a clip into his 1911R1*
Guards: *Walking around the cabin*
Johnny: That's a big ezel cabin. Must have a lot of money to spare if he can live there.

Mel & Henry drove a Suburban away from the big wooden house in order to go to a nearby Burger King.

Johnny: *Lays down behind a rock*

The Suburban continued into town.

Johnny: That was close. *Peaks out from behind the rock*
Guards: *Standing in front of the door*
Johnny: *Shoots both guards*
Mel: What was that? *Looks back*
Henry: *Turns around*
Johnny: *Sees the car coming back* Shit! *Runs down a field*

Johnny was trying to spawn a car from his watch for a faster getaway, but Mel leaned out of his window with a DX12 shotgun.

Mel: *Shoots once at Johnny*
Johnny: *Gets hit in the right leg, and falls down*
Henry: *Stops near Johnny*
Mel: *Gets out with Henry* Let's get u inside.

Inside a room on the 2nd floor of the log cabin, Johnny was tied to a chair, looking up at Mel, and Henry.

Mel: Now, let's begin our interrogation.
Johnny: What about my leg?
Henry: If u cooperate, we'll get u medical assistance. First u need to answer some questions.
Johnny: If u lost your cell phone, it's in the keuken-, keuken volgende to the refrigerator.
Mel: *Chuckles* Nice try. What organization are u from?
Johnny: BLM.
Henry: u are not from Black Lives Matter.
Johnny: You're right. I'm from British Lives Matter.
Henry: It's great that you're trying to get us to laugh, but u need to tell us the truth.

Warren walked into the room.

Johnny: Hello.
Warren: Shut up.
Mel: Are the missiles ready?
Warren: Oh we'll get that big bang very soon. Your targets in Canada will be nothing but craters.
Johnny: What is your target anyway?
Henry: Don't worry about it.
Johnny: Oh I get it now, you're gonna steal Cadillacs.

The timer on one of the missiles had 5 seconden left until launch.

Warren: It doesn't matter if we tell you. It'll be gone soon.

The timers hit zero, but instead of launching, the missiles exploded. Debris hit the rope restraining Johnny, and he was free.

Warren: *Punches Mel, and hits Henry with a chair*
Johnny: *Jumps onto the ground with Warren*
Warren: u alright?
Johnny: Yeah, except for my leg.
Warren: Come on, I'll help you.
Johnny: *Shoots two guards inside the house*
Mel: *Running downstairs with Henry* Warren was with him the whole time!
Warren: *Puts Johnny in a Suburban, and drives away* I got a bizon, bison for u in the handschoen box.
Johnny: *Opens the handschoen compartment, and finds a bizon, bison SMG*
Mel: *Watching Warren drive away with Johnny* We gotta get meer missiles. In the meantime, what did u find out about Warren?
Henry: *On a laptop* He's been with the Canadian Security Intelligence Service for 6 years, and is an expert on covert operations.
Mel: No wonder he had perfect ID. Track him down, and keep me geplaatst on the extra missiles.
Henry: That's gonna take a while since the volgende convoy won't arrive within two days.
Mel: No meer will I have to worry about the bastards that dishonorably discharged me from the army. As soon as the volgende batch of missiles arrive, we'll flatten Canada.

Johnny was laying on a bed in an apartment, as Warren looked over his leg.

Warren: *Placing bandages around his bullet wound* u should be ready to go in a few hours.
Johnny: *Looks at one of the shotgun pellets taken out of his leg* That was pretty powerful for a small shotgun.
Warren: Good thing it only hit your leg. Any higher, and u might have died.
Johnny: *Drops the pellet into a bucket where the other pellets are* Why do black people like using shotguns so much?
Warren: Extra firepower. u can't hit your targets unless you're up close, but it gets the job done, 110% guarantee.
Johnny: Do they let u use any in the Canadian Secret Intelligence Service?
Warren: Sometimes. They usually assign me this. *Pulls out his Sig P365* Been using it since I joined six years ago. How long have u been for the CIA?
Johnny: Two weeks. This is my 3rd assignment.
Warren: Man, you're a busy man.
Johnny: You'll be too. We need to stop the BLM group from destroying your country.
Warren: Those assholes make me wish I wasn't black. What's your plan?
Johnny: A simple call to the military base should make it easier to have the missiles defended instead of being out on a convoy.
Warren: So instead of being caught on the road, they'll be veilig in the base.
Johnny: Exactly. *Gives Warren his phone* Call my commander, and tell him to make the arrangements.
Warren: I will.

In a brief period of time, the message was received, and the base placed the missiles under protection in a hangar with twice the usual amount of guards.

Henry: *Looking at the base with his binoculars* Son of a bitch! *Runs back to a Traverse* Mel ain't gonna like this.

At the log cabin, Henry's assumption was correct.

Mel: What the hell do u mean cancelled?!
Henry: They're not moving the missiles! They're being guarded at the base!
Mel: Unacceptable! We're getting those missiles one way of the other.
Henry: Can't we just give up, and do something else?
Mel: No. If the missiles won't come to us, we'll come to the missiles.
Henry: I don't care if you're in charge, this plan won't work.
Mel: Give me one meer sign of insubordination, and I will kill you.
Henry: *Sweats as he gulps*
Mel: That's better. Rally the men, and grab your gear. We leave in 30 minutes.

Mel had a convoy of 3 Suburbans being lead door a Traverse.

Johnny: *Driving to the base with Warren in his Alfa Romeo*
Warren: What are we doing now?
Johnny: We're doublechecking to see if the base is safe.

One of the Suburbans had the romp, kofferbak open, revealing someone with a grenade launcher.

BLM Soldier 45: *Aiming at the base entrance* Standing by.
Mel: Good. Stay here, and wait for my signal. *Runs down a heuvel with Henry, and 13 others*
Johnny: *Going 62 miles an hour*
Warren: Stop. I think I see something on the hill.
Johnny: *Pulls over*
Warren: *Looks at the mountain on his cell phone with a high zoom* Someone's laying in a car with a grenade launcher.
Johnny: Let's get up there then. *Floors it to the highway exit*
Base Guard: *Walking around the base with a M4 Carbine*
Mel: *Near the base, out of sight from the guards* Okay, now.
BLM Soldier 45: *Fires a grenade*

The gate exploded, giving Mel, and his task force the entrance they needed.

Johnny: *Drives to the top, boven of the hill, and gets out with Warren*
BLM Soldier 45: *Spots Johnny, and pulls out a .38*
Johnny: *Shoots the soldier, and runs into the Suburban. He aims the grenade launcher at Mel's group*
Base Guard: *Gets shot*
Mel: *Enters the base* Get the missiles, now!
Johnny: *Shoots a grenade*

Most of Mel's team were killed door another explosion. Mel, Henry, and three others were still alive.

Henry: What the hell?! *Looks at the hill* It's Lightning! He's with Warren!
Mel: Let's end him! *Leaves the base with the others*
Guards: *Watching Mel leave with the others* Seems we didn't need the extra help after all.
Johnny: *Fires another grenade, killing Warren, and the others*
Henry: Okay Lightning! u win. *Drops his gun, and gets on his knees* I surrender.
Warren: Let me put him under custody. *Grabs a plastic zip tie*
Johnny: I hope u won't be part of Black Lives Matter after u serve your sentence.
Henry: I don't know why I joined that evil army to begin with.
Warren: Take it from me brother. *Restraining Henry* We all make mistakes. Okay Johnny. Let's go.

The two men took off in the silver Alfa, ending another exciting episode of Johnny Lightning.

The End

This has been a SeanTheHedgehog Production from November 7, 2020
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall uithangbord and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconden and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuut intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people u can get to kom bij in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department door sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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(WARNING: Profanity OUT OF THE WAZOO! Viewer discretion advised. Also, pie.)

(I will drive u to madness door letting u figure out why the heck I zei pie. ;D)

Here's a trick question, what's one plus one? ^___^

JASON DERULO SUCKS.

Seriously, I don't mean to be mean, (BAD PUNS FTW!) But Jason Derulo.... He's not good. Almost every song he made is either bland, lame, forgettable, of perverted as hell.

Some MASTERPIECES he made include Talk Dirty, In My Head, and......

Wiggle Wiggle. :P

(WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK!?)

And then there's..... This song, I wouldn't call it Jason's worst song, but it's...
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These are my top, boven 15 LEAST favoriete beroemdheden and just like with my top, boven 15 favoriete beroemdheden lijst I'm only basing this off who they are as a person, but I will talk about their talent as well. I will also tell u how attractive I think these people are because there are very few on here I find ugly and some I find very attractive, I'm just going to mention it just to toon that I'm not biased like some people. This one person who did a lijst like this pretty much just zei they were all ugly and even compared them to animals. Anyway, this is my lijst and please keep in mind this is just my...
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added by shiriny
I've been planning to do this for a long time and now I'm finally doing it. I have voices of different variety and though some get a lot of criticism but I don't care. To me these women have such jaw dropping voices that never sises to amazing me. I'm going to name the singer, describe why I love her voice so much, and leave a link of where I think their voice sounds the best, whether if it's live, studio, of movie. Please commentaar and please keep in mind this is just my opinion.

10.Liz Callaway
I've loved her voice ever since I was little and watched her in The zwaan-, zwaan Princess, Anastasia,...
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OK here's part 3 - remember these aren't in any particular order

41.
Name: Tom Ward (Actor)
From: Silent Witness
Character: Dr Harry Cunningham
Attraction: He's just so gorgeous - very manly



42.
Name: Andrew Gower (Actor)
From: Being Human
Character: Nick Cutler
Attraction: His mouth and the way he talks (if you've not seen Being Human - u should watch it just for him lol) - and he looks a little like David Thewlis (although maybe not so much in this picture)



43.
Name: Alex Pettyfer (Actor)
From: Beastly
Character: Kyle
Attraction: Think it's actually the hair for me



44.
Name: James Buckley...
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are u really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he zei that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can u tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by Hinata-Snow
I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. u will never find anybody who can give u a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell u that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling u that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed door the federal government is entertainment.
5. u should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests u think she's pregnant unless u can see an...
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Man: Where have u been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen u someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this zitplaats, stoel empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if u sit down.

Man: Your place of mine?
Woman: Both. u go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do u do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: hallo baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do u like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF u DON'T PASS THIS ON u DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All dag long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by rAsberrStrarS
Kiss On The Lips-I Love You
Kiss On The Ear-You Are Special
Kiss On The Nose-Laughter
Kiss On The Cheek-Friendship
Kiss On The Forehead-I Comfort You
Kiss On The Neck-I Want You
Kiss On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
Kiss Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender Kiss On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I Lost u
 Miku and Kaito
Miku and Kaito
20. Miku Hatsune and Kaito from "VOCALOID" I know it's kinda cheating because there voice synthesizers but there still animated in some of there muziek videos! There so cute together I had to put them on here.

19. Gakupo and Rin from "VOCALOID" I know I just did it again. But I love them meer then Kaito and Miku so they have to be on this too and besides the only other guy is her twin brother and I don't like incest.
 Gakupo and Rin
Gakupo and Rin

18. Ion and Esther from "Trinity Blood" Oh god I love these two they start out hating each other then become close vrienden of maybe more...I'd like to think so....
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1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would u mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs u and takes a little something off u would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are u sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If u say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all u want, not like I care if u are of aren't...As long as u don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him of erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If u want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go vooruit, voorwaarts when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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added by edwardcarlisle
Source: didyoukno
posted by NatalieSunshine
1.Run with her on the beach.
2.Give her your sweater when she’s cold.
3.Never talk about other girls infront of her.
4.Learn to play the gitaar for her.
5.Comfort her when she’s scared.
6.Watch the sunset with her.
7.If she can’t sleep read her a bedtime story.
8.If u get in a fight with her and she starts crying,just stop and hold her.
9.Never force her to do anything.
10.Call her beautifull,especially when she least expects it.
11.Never let her walk alone.
12.Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.
13.Always make the first move.
14.Never lie to her she’ll find out.
15.Kiss her when...
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added by Rainbow_Veins
Okay, she's kinda getting meer famous door the minute. She has her own show, her own song, and she even performed at the Disneyland Christmas dag Parade. But honestly, in MY opinion, I don't like her one bit.

I'm sorry if u like her cuz I kinda don't. Just now I expressed my opinon about her on Tumblr and some 12-year-old went apesh*t on me. So don't hate me guys, but I REALLY don't like her. If u ask me, behind her fame is a lot of money. Think about it. Auditions, professional photos, singing lessons, etc... hundreds of dollars. And who paid for it? Certainly not her. Her parents. Tens of...
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posted by KataraLover
As many of u are aware, I absolutely ADORE Wicked and I'm so excited about the movie adaptation that is just taking FOREVER to be made, even before the pandemic came along. So, like many people, I just keep wanting them to make some casting announcements for the movie already and have been making my own fan-cast for the movie, even making a video of my fan-cast. However, I felt like taking the time to explain my casting choices so everyone knows why I made my choices. I will provide my fan-cast video at the end, so u can hear the vocal capabilities. Please keep in mind that this is just...
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