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posted by kristine95
LMAO!
I saw this on a Norwegian website, and I thought it would be fun to have here. So I just translated it to English, and here u go! =P


A slak can sleep for three years.
Our eyes are the same size from we were born, but our nose and ears never stops growing.
An olifant is pregnant for 2 years.
The worlds youngest parents were 8 and 9 years old and lived in China in 1910.
During an average day, u have indirectly come in contact with 15 penises, for example, door taking the door handle.
23% of all copiers that are destroyed, become destroyed because people copy their ass.
There are not naturally blue foods. Even blueberries are purple!
If u try to hold back a sneeze, u can blow a blood vessel / a blood vessel in the head of neck, and hence die in an instant
An average person fears spiders meer than death!
The strongest muscle u have is your tounge.
u can't kill yourself door holding your breath.
It is meer likely to be killed door a champagne cork than being poisoned door a spider!
An ant can lift 50 times its own weight, pull 30 times its own weight and always fall over to the right side when it dies.
Ploarbears are left-handed.
A cockroach can live 9 days without a head before it starves to death.
The olifant is the only animal that can't jump.
Ostrich's eye is bigger than the brain.
After an hour's swim in a public swimming pool, u have gathered up 1/2 liters of urine.
u breathe daily into one liter of other people's anal gases.
u spend 6 months of your life on the toilet.
A krokodil can not stretch out his tongue.
The shrimp's hart-, hart is located in its head.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up at the sky.
meer than 50% of the world's population has never received of made a phone call.
When to wear earphones in just one uur increases the bacteria in the ears about 700 times.
Did u know that 60% of all the times u wash your hands, u don't wash your right thumb?
door kissing u exchange meer germs than if u lick a clean toilet.
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Source: made door me - KanonKyu
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posted by zutaradragon
    Police are investigating a brand at a local school building, which was full of what are now dead children and teachers. of at least, presumed dead, as no bodies have actually been found. There was only one person left: a seemingly deranged babbling female teacher speaking of a giant blob, of sorts. The police instantly dismissed her ramblings as those of a traumatized and stressed mind and went back to work. Their investigation turned up large amounts of sulfur, which was very odd and completely unexplained. Most dismissed it, saying that the science labs must have just...
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I see Shinobu in the back.=^=
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern dag issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Love of hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years geleden were blacks gegeven the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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posted by xneville_rocksx
1. Know how to make u smile when u are down

2. Try to secretly smell your hair , but u always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence .

4. Give u the remote control during the game

5. Come up behind u and put his arms around u

6. Play with your hair .

7. His hands always find yours .

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer u plenty of massages

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .

11. Never run out of love .

12. Be funny , but know how to be serious

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious

14. Be patient when u take...
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Preferably shouted.

"DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW

AND FAT, WHAT DO u WEIGH

HA-HA-HA-HA

u CAN’T FUCKING SING

I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT

GET OUT MY WAY u HO

I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT

OH!

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

OVER BODIES EVERY dag (HEY)

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

teef WHAT DID I SAY

RUN THAT ezel CUZ u CAN’T HIDE

FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH."

--

Happy Holidays~
added by crisy93
Source: Burdr