**Authors Notice- This chapter mostly revolves around Hutch and reveals some other info that will be important later in the story**

*Hutch's POV*

I couldn't believe that Winston was actually allowing Blackjack to stay here. He knew too damn well my beef with the likes of outsiders, and here he was welcoming him. Winston was like a father to me, ever since my dad died he had taken me in like a son and treated me no different than he did Kate of Lilly. But this, it probably would have hurt less if he would have sunk his claws into my back.

What was worse, was that he didn't even have the decency to tell me his reasoning. Was he trying to teach me something? of just blissfully ignorant of how angry I was? Either way I was going to make it my personal mission to never take my eyes off of this new comer.

"Hey Hutch," I heard someone shout from behind me. I turned around to see Winston's daughter Lilly walking up behind me. She may have been an omega but she was a good friend.

"Hey Lilly, where's Garth," I asked trying to keep the subject off of me.

"Oh he's back at the hol, den taking a nap and I didn't want to disturb him," she zei shyly. I noticed that she had gone back to wearing her hair in front of her eye, not that I minded. Honestly I thought it looked better this way.

"Why so lonely," she asked suddenly. I felt my hart-, hart skip a beat and my brain searched frantically for an answer.

"I uh, just finished my alpha duties early and figured I would take a walk," I replied nervously. She didn't know the truth about todays importance, but then again, not a lot of wolves did.

"Well would u like some company," she asked sweetly. I almost teared up a bit at her kindness.

"Sure, I'd love some," I zei holding back a choking sob.

"Hey Hutch, how come I never see u at the moonlight howl,"

"You're just full of vragen aren't you," I laughed trying to quickly change the subject. She giggled but refused to let up.

"I'm serious, u should find someone to go with, I'm sure there are a bunch of girls who would love to go with you," I blushed at that. It was the closest thing to a compliment I had gotten in two years.

"Maybe at one time there were, but I guess I'm just to old for that anymore," I sighed, knowing very well that I would have killed for a date.

"Oh stop being so modest Hutch, you're like the strongest alpha I know, I'm surprised there aren't dozens of girls lined up for you," why did she have to be so nice?

"At one point, there were, but that was before they realized someone had already stal me," oh shit.

"No way what was her name," Lilly asked excitedly. There was no way I was digging Maytag out of this one.

"Well, that's kind of a touchy subject, I'd rather not go that much into detail," I hoped she would understand and just drop it.

"Aw well can u at least tell me what she was like," should have just told Lilly her name.

"She uh, she was the sweetest girl I'd ever met. She always knew how to make me smile. And she was the most beautiful wolf I had ever met,"

"Hey Hutch are u alright," Lilly asked. Oh shit, I got so caught up in my memories I didn't notice that I was starting to cry. I quickly turned away and started to wipe away my tears.

"I'm fine, it's nothing really," but it wasn't nothing. It was much meer than that. Every time I tried to think about her I would break down and start sobbing. A two jaar old scar that still hadn't healed. And never would.

"Hutch I'm so sorry I didn't mean to make u cry," Lilly apologized.

"No Lilly it's fine really," I zei trying to keep her feelings from being hurt.

"Are u sure, I really didn't mean to make u cry," she zei again.

"I promise I'm fine, but, if you'll excuse me, Winston wants me to talk something over with Candu," I lied. She nodded but it was like she had become disheartened.

"Alright, I'll talk to u later I guess," she zei before turning and quickly walking off. I didn't mean to make her feel bad, I really didn't. So just in case she was still watching, I went looking for Candu. With any luck he had abandoned Blackjack and I could talk to him privately.

"Oh Hutch," called yet another interrupting voice. Ii turned to see Eve walling up to me with a bright smile.

"Yes Eve," I asked curiously trying to act like nothing had happened earlier.

"How are u feeling dear," she asked kindly. There was no point in telling her I was fine, she knew I wasn't.

"No better and no worse than I have since then," I replied. She sighed and shook her hear as if she were disappointed.

"Hutch, it's been two years now, what would u have wanted her to do if she were in your position," she asked. She knew I hated this question.

"I would have wanted her to verplaats on," I replied looking away from her.

"And I know she would want u to do the same,"

"I know Eve, but it's hard to let go of her,"

"I know dear, letting go of a loved one is never easy. But please make this the jaar u verplaats on, if u don't do it for your own health, do it for her. I'm not going to scold u any further, but u need to understand that it's for your own good," with that she quickly gave me a hug and walked away. As much as I didn't want to believe it, I knew that everything she zei was true. But that didn't make it hurt any less. Eve had turned my lie around, now I needed to talk to Candu, badly.

I walked around for a while looking at all the different places her could have been at. I had no luck at any of them. Luckily I managed to run across Garth, who I guess was looking for Lilly.

"Hey Garth have u seen Candu anywhere," I asked him.

"Yeah, he's down at the feeding grounds with some new guy, u seen Lilly anywhere," I grit my teeth to hear he was still with Blackjack but then tried to calm myself down.

"I saw her a few minuten geleden but I don't know where she went," I replied with a shrug and turned away. I didn't want to get dragged into a meaningless conversation. I went to the feeding grounds and sure enough there sat Candu with Blackjack. Candu noticed me and whispered something to Blackjack before standing up and walking over to me.

"Candu, we need to talk," I zei as he stated to say something. He nodded and I turned to lead him out of earshot.

"Hutch, I know what this is about, and believe me u can trust Blackjack. He's a very nice wolf-"

"Candu, u remember what I zei back then, it's my own choice and I'll live door it. That dag changed my life forever, and it's because of him that I'll never trust another outsider ever again,"

"Come on, at least give the poor guy a chance, believe me, he's not capable of doing something bad,"

"Candu, you're my friend and I won't argue with you, but I just know at some point he's done something bad. He may not admit it, but I see it in his eyes. It's the same cold stare I saw from he who should never be named,"

"I know they look alike, but Blackjack isn't as sadistic as u know who was. Something about him seems hurt, like he lost someone dear to him,"

"Believe me Candu, once you've stared into the eyes of one killer, you've seen the eyes of all killers. Think what u want about him, but I know he's a killer. Just make sure he never comes near this place," I concluded as I took my usual zitplaats, stoel in front of the grave. It was hidden away in the forest just enough to be invisible, unless u knew where it was.

"I'll give u a minute," Candu zei as he turned and walked out of sight.

"It's been two years since I lost you. Two, long, miserable years that I've had to suffer without you. I'm sorry I didn't bring any flowers today, but I promise I'll bring u some tomorrow. But, they all want me to verplaats on, and I can't, not without fearing u wouldn't approve. I miss u baby, so much," it all became too much. I broke down into a flood of tears and cried in the place I had been for a long time now. I looked up at the stone I had engraved myself for her. 'Victoria R.I.P I will always love you.'