I didn't write this. I got it in an emai and it made me smile!! Enjoy!
The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
5. WHY WERE MEN gegeven LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before u make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET zitplaats, stoel DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
One for the ladies
One dag my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. seconden after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " universiteit of Oklahoma "
_____________________________________________________________________________________
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make u the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do u think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married u for your money," she replied.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Q: What do u call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: u did not hold the hoofdkussen, kussen down long enough.
Q: How do u keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
5. WHY WERE MEN gegeven LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before u make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET zitplaats, stoel DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
One for the ladies
One dag my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. seconden after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " universiteit of Oklahoma "
_____________________________________________________________________________________
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make u the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do u think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married u for your money," she replied.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Q: What do u call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: u did not hold the hoofdkussen, kussen down long enough.
Q: How do u keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
A mothers whisper
In the night when your fast asleep.
Precious eyes closed…and in a beautiful dream.
u hear a whisper…a soft gental sound.
u smile…and laugh..nowing mother is around.
Trying not to wake up from this dream of yours.
It makes u feel safe….all nice and warm.
u feel a nice, soft, warm hand on your head.
Mother cries…..is she dead?
u try to verplaats to tell her you’re alright.
But u cant verplaats at all that night.
Mother sings me a beautiful ryme.
I try to wake up…its about time!
I wanna feel her warm imbrass.
Is it really way to late….
I see an angel up in the sky…
I see mother standing right by,
I walk to here and give her a hug.
Mother whispers…your in heaven my love(=
In the night when your fast asleep.
Precious eyes closed…and in a beautiful dream.
u hear a whisper…a soft gental sound.
u smile…and laugh..nowing mother is around.
Trying not to wake up from this dream of yours.
It makes u feel safe….all nice and warm.
u feel a nice, soft, warm hand on your head.
Mother cries…..is she dead?
u try to verplaats to tell her you’re alright.
But u cant verplaats at all that night.
Mother sings me a beautiful ryme.
I try to wake up…its about time!
I wanna feel her warm imbrass.
Is it really way to late….
I see an angel up in the sky…
I see mother standing right by,
I walk to here and give her a hug.
Mother whispers…your in heaven my love(=