Help me please....

Life for me has went even meer downstream than it already is. I really hate myself meer than anything else on this world. I would want to die each seconde I am breathing. My best friend is annoyed door me because I told her each time I was sad which was almost every day. And I lost the person who was the most precious one to me. I would have died for him and now he is treating me like shit. I know he has gone through a lot but I too have gone through a lot, he almost ripped my hart-, hart out with that. Also my mother saw my hip. I am cutting myself on my hip, but I told her that I have stopped cutting myself. So now my mom is really angry at me and doesn't talk to me anymore.
All this has torn my hart-, hart into pieces right now, everything goes wrong. I don't even know what to do anymore. I want to vanish. I'd rather feel nothing than this pain I feel right now. Oh please, I don't want to sound like an attention whore, but please please someone tell me what to do, I don't know anything anymore!!!