In the Southland, there's a city, way down on the river, where the women are very pretty...
"He's talking about me, u know," erwt fluffed her hair.
"Pea, don't u find it weird how ever since we got here, there's been some voice following us around singing about how dreams do come true in New Orleans?" asked Conrad.
"It's no weirder than the girl I met who had feet one seconde and a fat green tail the next. When you've seen all the stuff I have, u learn to just go with it."
New Orleans had an upbeat, fun-loving vibe to it. Although Princess erwt was impressed, she still preferred her old home. But that was long in the past...
"Conrad, I'm starving, I haven't eaten since I was at Eric's," erwt complained. "Let's grab a bite to eat. Maybe they'll take pity on us if we say we're homeless...and door the way you're dressed, I'm sure they'll believe us."
Conrad had learned to laugh at Pea's snarky comments. He didn't know what it was about the princess but he somehow found her charming. "Why don't we go in here? Come on..." They walked casually into a restaurant entitled Tiana's Palace. "Oh Pea!" zei Conrad, quickly winking at Peanalita. "If only there were some place that would take pity on us and give us food!" he zei loudly.
erwt joined in. "Oh, I know, we are ever so poor and ever so hungry. I don't want much, just a kreeft dipped in garlic boter with a garden salade on the side and a diet Coke is all. Oh woe is me! Someone feed us!"
"Okay y'all, I'm here," zei a beautiful voice. "We'll getcha something to eat."
"Oh, thank you, miss!" smiled Conrad.
"Don't mention it, grab a zitplaats, stoel over there, I'll have someone take your order in a minute," the girl smiled warmly. She was African-American and had big, sympathetic brown eyes. "I'm Tiana, door the way." She strolled off.
"Wow, that was the owner of this fancy restaurant," erwt remarked. "Usually, owners only toon up at their own restaurant when someone is on the floor, choking on a roze crayon they thought looked tasty." Conrad gave erwt a confused stare. "Bad childhood memories..." she blushed.
While eating their delicious meals, erwt wondered if she would ever find her own handsome prince. She had tried to trick Aladdin into falling out of love with Jasmine. She had competed with Ariel for Eric...when would she find her own true love? "So," she said, while eating a scoop of her sundae. "What's your father's business anyway?"
"He's a royal assistant for some stuck-up king," replied Conrad. "He says it's a great job but he sure complains about it a lot."
"Well, I don't blame him," erwt laughed. "Kings can be a handful."
"Yeah but it's the princess he really hates," replied Conrad, laughing. "She's apparently the rudest, most vain, self-centered girl on the planet...her name was...um...oh, I can't remember. Anyway, he talks about her twenty-four-seven."
"She sounds like a pain in the ass."
"Yeah but my father puts up with it," answered Conrad. "He's pretty patient when dealing with the queen, who's apparently even worse than the princess...Queen Annalynne."
erwt tried to hide her horror. Oh God, she thought. Conrad is Leopold's son! Leopold, who was Princess Pea's family assistant, had always zei he had a son but erwt had never met him. It made sense too becaused Leopold zei he lived far away and commuted for his job.
"The princess sounds, um, annoying," erwt tried to sound casual.
"And apparently sometimes she snores so loudly that u can hear her from all the way-"
"Well, there's no need to be petty!" erwt snapped. "I mean, I'm, um, sure that she's really very sweet...and people just think she's a brat but she's actually misunderstood...not that I know her...or her situation...whatsoever. This is a good sundae!" erwt tried to change the subject. "Here, have some, I'm sure it's better than your brownie." erwt shoved a spoonful of her sundae into Conrad's mouth. His face turned red.
"Pea, it had nuts!" Conrad gasped. He clenched his throat, gasping for air. He struggled to speak. "I'm allergic!"
"Okay, I have got to learn to stop being such a crazy bitch." erwt sighed. "Someone help my friend! He has allergies, he's suffocating! Please, get a doctor!"
A man in the restaurant approached them and revealed that he was a certified doctor. He gave Conrad a pill to slikken that helped with the swelling in his throat. An uur later, Conrad woke up on the roof of the restaurant, erwt door his side.
"Don't worry, Conrad," she said. "You just keep resting. I thought u might need some air so I had Tiana's hottie husband carry u up here."
"You tried to kill me," Conrad said, laughing slightly.
"But I, I didn't mean to, I didn't know-"
"I'm kidding, Pea," he laughed. "I know it was an accident."
Just then, Tiana and her husband, Naveen, stepped outside and went over to Pea. "Here, I brought u some water." Tiana handed Conrad a glass.
"We're very sorry about this incident," zei Naveen. "But, uh, no harm done, right?" He had an unfamiliar but undeniably sexy accent.
"What Naveen means is we'd like to help u two out if we can," zei Tiana. "Where are y'all headed?"
"We don't know exactly..." answered Pea. "We're in desperate need of a miracle really. He's running away and I got the boot from my kingdom."
"Hmm..." replied Tiana, grinning. "I think u two are in need of a little magic. I'm gonna bring u to my good friend Mama Odie. She'll help u guys out!"
And with that, the two princesses, the handsome prince and the handsome non-prince walked through a murky bayou...hoping to find this mysterious Mama Odie so they could ask for a miracle. And erwt thought to herself: It'll be a miracle if Conrad never finds out I'm the annoying princess his dad hates.

(End Of Part 13)