Courtney’s POV:
“Where is he?”
Becky and Tara turn from their lockers at the sound of my voice.
“Who?” Tara asks, her brow creasing.
“Duncan.”
Becky shakes her head slowly. “He’s not here. He hasn’t been all week, u know that.” She studies me curiously for a moment. “Why do u ask?”
I bite my tongue for a moment, and sigh. “Because I need to talk to him.” I answer uncertainly. Becky starts to smile.
“Oh my God.” Tara gasps. “You’re getting back together with him!” She cheers. “It’s about time! Becky and I were saying that u really needed to—”
“Wait,” Becky cuts in. Her smile flickers. “What about Josh?”
“I broke it off with him last night.”
Their mouths drop. Tara puts am arm around me.
“If u need to cry, just say so.” She coos.
“What?”
Becky takes a hold on my other shoulder. “You’ll be okay.”
“Yeah, breakups are hard, but we’ll help u through.” Tara nods, biting her lower lip in a sympathetic pout. “And Josh was a really great guy, too.”
“We really did like him.”
“He’ll be missed.”
“I thought u guys wanted me to break it off with him!” I glance back and forth from either of my friends’ pitiful faces. “You said, ‘Do what makes u happy.’ Remember? u kept telling me to get together with Duncan!”
“I know,” Becky nods. “But that doesn’t mean u can’t be sad. Doesn’t it bother u at all that you’re never going to be with him again? Aren’t u even a smidge upset that things are over between u two?”
I think about this. Josh was great. He’s so much like me. And if it hadn’t been for Duncan, I figure, we could’ve been awfully happy. We just seem to have the same ambitions and goals, and my parents absolutely love him. Not to mention it’s so much less complicated with him… no Mohawk to speak of.
And yet…
“No.” I tell them firmly. “There’s only Duncan. There only ever was him.”
I’d like it to be left at that, but Tara pipes up from my side.
“So… what are u going to do?”
My certainty wavers, and I sigh pathetically.
“I have no idea.”
“Dylan! Dylan! Wait up!”
He turns to look at me, and I see him wince as I race up the sidewalk.
“Hey… Courtney. What’s, uh, up?”
“Do u know where Duncan is?” I ask quickly. His eyes narrow.
“No… why? What happened with u guys, anyway? I tried asking, but he wouldn’t say.” Dylan shakes his head. “Whatever u did, u really pissed him off.”
“Things… happened. I’d rather not talk about that, though. I just really need to see him. Are u sure u don’t know where he is?”
He glances over his shoulder, as if to check for someone. He rocks back and forth on his heels for a moment, staring at the black pavement, before giving in. “I might. There’s this party happening on Howard Street. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s there. Have u tried calling him?”
“Fifth time’s the charm.” I sigh and flip out my phone. I find Duncan and click to dial. It rings, and rings, and rings… and—
“This is Duncan. Leave a message of piss off.”
I snap the phone shut and scowl. “Voicemail.” I tell Dylan, and a thought occurs to me. “Did Duncan say anything, u know, about me? Anything at all.”
“I told you, he didn’t tell me anything.” But his eyes don’t meet mine, and I know that he’s hiding something.
“Please, Dylan?”
He raises his eyes and winces again. “Fine. He said… he zei that it wasn’t a big deal. That, uh, you’re… do I really have to tell you?” I nod, and urge him to continue. Dylan starts again with reluctance, and it comes out a sigh. “Duncan zei that… that you’re easily replaced. That there are plenty of girls that would do just as well. And… that u were just a phase.”
I feel my hart-, hart sink. “He zei that?”
Dylan tried to make amends. “Yeah, but he was upset. He didn’t mean it, I’m sure.”
“Yeah,” I say wearily. “He was upset. Uh,” I remember myself and force a smile. “Thanks, Dylan. u helped… a lot.”
I turn, and a feeling churns in the pit of my stomach. I try to ignore it, but the doubtable words swirl around in my mind.
He didn’t mean it. He was just upset. He didn’t mean it.
But still…
Just a phase?
Duncan’s POV:
It really isn’t as hard as you’d think.
Forgetting someone, I mean.
Stick your tongue down some other chick’s throat, and suddenly u can’t think of anything else. Only the sweaty pound of muziek in the background, the scent of musty perfume, and the taste of someone else. The rest is gone.
But when she does push her way in, swarming around in my thoughts once again, all it takes is gripping on the sheets of the bed and focusing on my hammering pulse and she’s gone as soon as she entered. But not entirely. It’s all just pushed into a dark corner in my mind. Still there, but crammed into shadows. Yet as long as I can’t see, it’s all fine.
It’s not, though, ignorance of not. There’s still the mental picture of them that sticks so firmly in my mind. And that fact that she didn’t tell me, when of all people, I deserved to know the most. When I’d fallen like a moron for her again, waiting on edge for her to finally see that yeah, she’ll never truly be over me— while she so obviously was. While she was with someone else. And of all people, some jackass like him? I saw the way he looked at me, the way he extended his arm. The way he knew, so clearly, that Courtney wouldn’t want anything to do with me like she couldn’t possibly have stooped to my level. And Courtney, the way she’d just stood there, mouth agape, as though she couldn’t believe this was happening. As though in her wildest dreams (dreams, of course, since she must’ve been pleased to finally get rid of me) she couldn’t have possibly imagined everything fitting together so cleanly, so smoothly.
I would’ve backed off. I’d have been disappointed enough, but I would’ve left them alone. Had she zei anything, had she made an effort. Had she not screwed me over. Let me believe there was a chance for us— For me. But, I suppose that would’ve been inconvenient, huh? Too awkward for someone like her.
I really, really should have known better.
The bedroom door’s closed, and the sheets are in a tangle. The girl beneath me sighs, and I rake a hand over the fabric of her skirt.
There’s this unanimous agreement between us, that after this, there isn’t anything more, and that’s fine. There doesn’t need to be anything beyond a hard-core makeout session. As I’ve learned, it only leads to trouble that I don’t want.
It’s when I’ve grabbed a handful of slick black hair that I hear the door open.
“Duncan?”
I turn my head from this girl, and for a moment, I think this is a joke.
Courtney stands, clutching the doorknob as though she’d collapse without its support. Her eyes land on the girl volgende to me, who giggles shamelessly, and snarls.
“Get lost. This room is taken.”
The words are ignored.
“What are you… what are u doing?” She gasps, and anger washes over me.
“What does it look like?” I say coldly. Courtney’s eyes glisten.
“Who’s she?” The girl asks me, trailing up my neck with her lips. “And is she stupid? We’re busy here. So piss off.”
“Just leave.” I tell Courtney, venom tasting my voice.
“I wanted to talk to you.” She says faintly. “Really, Duncan. I’m sorry about—”
“Sorry?” I growl, jumping up from my spot. The girl tumbles to the floor. “For what? Leading me on? Making me look like an asshole? Lying to me?”
Courtney sways slightly. “Look, I just didn’t want to have to—”
Something comes loose, and I’m saying things before they register. “What did u expect? For u to come here and be forgiven? So I can chase u some more, because u think it’s fun?”
“No! I—”
“I’m finished trying to please you. This is bullshit. Go. I don’t want anything to do with you, so just leave.”
I need her to leave, because it’s hurting too much for her to be around.
But the hurt in her eyes turn to anger, and she slams the door shut, stepping closer to me. “I’m not finished yet.” Courtney says shakily. “What do u want me to say? Huh? That I’m sorry I wasn’t hung up over you? That, oh God forbid, I happen to like someone else?” Her words start to incline. “And yeah, maybe I should have told you. Fine, that was wrong.”
“Yeah, u should have!” I burst. “But forget this. Just go back to him. His preppy ezel is waiting in the car for you, isn’t it? Should I warn him of your bitchy attitude? of has he already tried to escape?”
“I broke up with him.” She says unwaveringly. “And u would have known that if u had answered any of my calls—”
“Who says I felt like talking to you?”
“Stop acting like a child!” She shrieked, any ounce of cool dissolving. “I broke up with him for you! Don’t u get that? I’m here for you! Doesn’t that mean anything?”
“No.”
Her face is red, I’m sure mine is as well. The girl snuck out at some point, but I’m not sure I care.
“I would’ve backed off.” I tell her heatedly. “Believe it of not. I would’ve.”
That sets a brand off in Courtney’s eyes. “Don’t u think I know that?! Of course I know that you’d have backed off!”
“Oh? Then why didn’t you—”
“Because, Duncan!” She rushes vooruit, voorwaarts and jams her finger in my chest. “Because believe it of not, I couldn’t stand the thought of u backing off! Yeah, okay I tried to deny it but—”
“Then why do u bother?” I demand. “Why are u here? Isn’t me ignoring u exactly what u want? Wouldn’t that just make it that much easier?”
“NO!” She explodes finally, as though every feeling finally comes out in an avalanche. “Because I’m so disgustingly in love with u that I couldn’t bring myself to tell you! That I had to lie to myself because I didn’t want to think it was true! That I went as far as using someone to prove to myself that I didn’t love you! But you’re too wrapped up with accusing me to realize that!”
Suddenly, it’s as if everything has been drained from me, and I’m numb. But then, something stirs.
“Courtney…”
I verplaats towards her, trying to take her door the arm, but she turns.
All the things I’ve zei dawn on me now. If I’d known… I wouldn’t have…
“Wait— Princess—”
“Don’t,” she hisses, “call me that.”
“Courtney…”
“You don’t want anything to do with me, remember?” She says, her eyes levelling with mine. Why is she doing this?
Urgency seems to set in. She needs to know that I didn’t mean what I said, that I was just upset. “No— I mean, Courtney, babe. I need you. Don’t do this. I shouldn’t have gotten angry, I didn’t know—”
“Need me?” Courtney says, her eyes holding hurt strongly, teeth clenching. “I thought u zei I was easily replaced. Just a phase.”
She rips open the door and filters into the crowd without looking back. I kraan my neck, calling her name, but she’s gone.
I sit shakily on the edge of the bed, dropping my head in my hands. I screwed up. Again.
She loves me.
Correction—
Loved.
“Where is he?”
Becky and Tara turn from their lockers at the sound of my voice.
“Who?” Tara asks, her brow creasing.
“Duncan.”
Becky shakes her head slowly. “He’s not here. He hasn’t been all week, u know that.” She studies me curiously for a moment. “Why do u ask?”
I bite my tongue for a moment, and sigh. “Because I need to talk to him.” I answer uncertainly. Becky starts to smile.
“Oh my God.” Tara gasps. “You’re getting back together with him!” She cheers. “It’s about time! Becky and I were saying that u really needed to—”
“Wait,” Becky cuts in. Her smile flickers. “What about Josh?”
“I broke it off with him last night.”
Their mouths drop. Tara puts am arm around me.
“If u need to cry, just say so.” She coos.
“What?”
Becky takes a hold on my other shoulder. “You’ll be okay.”
“Yeah, breakups are hard, but we’ll help u through.” Tara nods, biting her lower lip in a sympathetic pout. “And Josh was a really great guy, too.”
“We really did like him.”
“He’ll be missed.”
“I thought u guys wanted me to break it off with him!” I glance back and forth from either of my friends’ pitiful faces. “You said, ‘Do what makes u happy.’ Remember? u kept telling me to get together with Duncan!”
“I know,” Becky nods. “But that doesn’t mean u can’t be sad. Doesn’t it bother u at all that you’re never going to be with him again? Aren’t u even a smidge upset that things are over between u two?”
I think about this. Josh was great. He’s so much like me. And if it hadn’t been for Duncan, I figure, we could’ve been awfully happy. We just seem to have the same ambitions and goals, and my parents absolutely love him. Not to mention it’s so much less complicated with him… no Mohawk to speak of.
And yet…
“No.” I tell them firmly. “There’s only Duncan. There only ever was him.”
I’d like it to be left at that, but Tara pipes up from my side.
“So… what are u going to do?”
My certainty wavers, and I sigh pathetically.
“I have no idea.”
“Dylan! Dylan! Wait up!”
He turns to look at me, and I see him wince as I race up the sidewalk.
“Hey… Courtney. What’s, uh, up?”
“Do u know where Duncan is?” I ask quickly. His eyes narrow.
“No… why? What happened with u guys, anyway? I tried asking, but he wouldn’t say.” Dylan shakes his head. “Whatever u did, u really pissed him off.”
“Things… happened. I’d rather not talk about that, though. I just really need to see him. Are u sure u don’t know where he is?”
He glances over his shoulder, as if to check for someone. He rocks back and forth on his heels for a moment, staring at the black pavement, before giving in. “I might. There’s this party happening on Howard Street. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s there. Have u tried calling him?”
“Fifth time’s the charm.” I sigh and flip out my phone. I find Duncan and click to dial. It rings, and rings, and rings… and—
“This is Duncan. Leave a message of piss off.”
I snap the phone shut and scowl. “Voicemail.” I tell Dylan, and a thought occurs to me. “Did Duncan say anything, u know, about me? Anything at all.”
“I told you, he didn’t tell me anything.” But his eyes don’t meet mine, and I know that he’s hiding something.
“Please, Dylan?”
He raises his eyes and winces again. “Fine. He said… he zei that it wasn’t a big deal. That, uh, you’re… do I really have to tell you?” I nod, and urge him to continue. Dylan starts again with reluctance, and it comes out a sigh. “Duncan zei that… that you’re easily replaced. That there are plenty of girls that would do just as well. And… that u were just a phase.”
I feel my hart-, hart sink. “He zei that?”
Dylan tried to make amends. “Yeah, but he was upset. He didn’t mean it, I’m sure.”
“Yeah,” I say wearily. “He was upset. Uh,” I remember myself and force a smile. “Thanks, Dylan. u helped… a lot.”
I turn, and a feeling churns in the pit of my stomach. I try to ignore it, but the doubtable words swirl around in my mind.
He didn’t mean it. He was just upset. He didn’t mean it.
But still…
Just a phase?
Duncan’s POV:
It really isn’t as hard as you’d think.
Forgetting someone, I mean.
Stick your tongue down some other chick’s throat, and suddenly u can’t think of anything else. Only the sweaty pound of muziek in the background, the scent of musty perfume, and the taste of someone else. The rest is gone.
But when she does push her way in, swarming around in my thoughts once again, all it takes is gripping on the sheets of the bed and focusing on my hammering pulse and she’s gone as soon as she entered. But not entirely. It’s all just pushed into a dark corner in my mind. Still there, but crammed into shadows. Yet as long as I can’t see, it’s all fine.
It’s not, though, ignorance of not. There’s still the mental picture of them that sticks so firmly in my mind. And that fact that she didn’t tell me, when of all people, I deserved to know the most. When I’d fallen like a moron for her again, waiting on edge for her to finally see that yeah, she’ll never truly be over me— while she so obviously was. While she was with someone else. And of all people, some jackass like him? I saw the way he looked at me, the way he extended his arm. The way he knew, so clearly, that Courtney wouldn’t want anything to do with me like she couldn’t possibly have stooped to my level. And Courtney, the way she’d just stood there, mouth agape, as though she couldn’t believe this was happening. As though in her wildest dreams (dreams, of course, since she must’ve been pleased to finally get rid of me) she couldn’t have possibly imagined everything fitting together so cleanly, so smoothly.
I would’ve backed off. I’d have been disappointed enough, but I would’ve left them alone. Had she zei anything, had she made an effort. Had she not screwed me over. Let me believe there was a chance for us— For me. But, I suppose that would’ve been inconvenient, huh? Too awkward for someone like her.
I really, really should have known better.
The bedroom door’s closed, and the sheets are in a tangle. The girl beneath me sighs, and I rake a hand over the fabric of her skirt.
There’s this unanimous agreement between us, that after this, there isn’t anything more, and that’s fine. There doesn’t need to be anything beyond a hard-core makeout session. As I’ve learned, it only leads to trouble that I don’t want.
It’s when I’ve grabbed a handful of slick black hair that I hear the door open.
“Duncan?”
I turn my head from this girl, and for a moment, I think this is a joke.
Courtney stands, clutching the doorknob as though she’d collapse without its support. Her eyes land on the girl volgende to me, who giggles shamelessly, and snarls.
“Get lost. This room is taken.”
The words are ignored.
“What are you… what are u doing?” She gasps, and anger washes over me.
“What does it look like?” I say coldly. Courtney’s eyes glisten.
“Who’s she?” The girl asks me, trailing up my neck with her lips. “And is she stupid? We’re busy here. So piss off.”
“Just leave.” I tell Courtney, venom tasting my voice.
“I wanted to talk to you.” She says faintly. “Really, Duncan. I’m sorry about—”
“Sorry?” I growl, jumping up from my spot. The girl tumbles to the floor. “For what? Leading me on? Making me look like an asshole? Lying to me?”
Courtney sways slightly. “Look, I just didn’t want to have to—”
Something comes loose, and I’m saying things before they register. “What did u expect? For u to come here and be forgiven? So I can chase u some more, because u think it’s fun?”
“No! I—”
“I’m finished trying to please you. This is bullshit. Go. I don’t want anything to do with you, so just leave.”
I need her to leave, because it’s hurting too much for her to be around.
But the hurt in her eyes turn to anger, and she slams the door shut, stepping closer to me. “I’m not finished yet.” Courtney says shakily. “What do u want me to say? Huh? That I’m sorry I wasn’t hung up over you? That, oh God forbid, I happen to like someone else?” Her words start to incline. “And yeah, maybe I should have told you. Fine, that was wrong.”
“Yeah, u should have!” I burst. “But forget this. Just go back to him. His preppy ezel is waiting in the car for you, isn’t it? Should I warn him of your bitchy attitude? of has he already tried to escape?”
“I broke up with him.” She says unwaveringly. “And u would have known that if u had answered any of my calls—”
“Who says I felt like talking to you?”
“Stop acting like a child!” She shrieked, any ounce of cool dissolving. “I broke up with him for you! Don’t u get that? I’m here for you! Doesn’t that mean anything?”
“No.”
Her face is red, I’m sure mine is as well. The girl snuck out at some point, but I’m not sure I care.
“I would’ve backed off.” I tell her heatedly. “Believe it of not. I would’ve.”
That sets a brand off in Courtney’s eyes. “Don’t u think I know that?! Of course I know that you’d have backed off!”
“Oh? Then why didn’t you—”
“Because, Duncan!” She rushes vooruit, voorwaarts and jams her finger in my chest. “Because believe it of not, I couldn’t stand the thought of u backing off! Yeah, okay I tried to deny it but—”
“Then why do u bother?” I demand. “Why are u here? Isn’t me ignoring u exactly what u want? Wouldn’t that just make it that much easier?”
“NO!” She explodes finally, as though every feeling finally comes out in an avalanche. “Because I’m so disgustingly in love with u that I couldn’t bring myself to tell you! That I had to lie to myself because I didn’t want to think it was true! That I went as far as using someone to prove to myself that I didn’t love you! But you’re too wrapped up with accusing me to realize that!”
Suddenly, it’s as if everything has been drained from me, and I’m numb. But then, something stirs.
“Courtney…”
I verplaats towards her, trying to take her door the arm, but she turns.
All the things I’ve zei dawn on me now. If I’d known… I wouldn’t have…
“Wait— Princess—”
“Don’t,” she hisses, “call me that.”
“Courtney…”
“You don’t want anything to do with me, remember?” She says, her eyes levelling with mine. Why is she doing this?
Urgency seems to set in. She needs to know that I didn’t mean what I said, that I was just upset. “No— I mean, Courtney, babe. I need you. Don’t do this. I shouldn’t have gotten angry, I didn’t know—”
“Need me?” Courtney says, her eyes holding hurt strongly, teeth clenching. “I thought u zei I was easily replaced. Just a phase.”
She rips open the door and filters into the crowd without looking back. I kraan my neck, calling her name, but she’s gone.
I sit shakily on the edge of the bed, dropping my head in my hands. I screwed up. Again.
She loves me.
Correction—
Loved.
Mabey I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should had
Mabey I didn't love you
Quite as often as I should have
Little things I should have zei and done
I never took time
u were always on my mind
u were alaways on my mind
Tell me,tell methat your sweet love hasn't died
Give me,give me one meer chance
To keep u satisfied,satisfied
Mabey I didn't hold you
All those lonely,lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I can make u feel seconde best
Girl,I'm sorry I was blind
u were always on my mind
u were always on my mind
Tell me,tell me that you're sweet love hasn't died
Give me,give me one meer chance
To keep u satisfied,satisfied
Little things I should of zei and done
u were always on my mind
u were always on my mind
u were always on my mind...
Chris-ok come on evrybody stay calm we will find her
Lindsay-is that her
D.j-no lindsay that's beth
Chris-beth what are u doing here
Beth-chef told me to come here
Duncan-who cares we have to find courtney
Beth-courtney got lost (laughing)
Duncan it's not funny
Beth-sorry
Chris-ok come let's look behind that tree
D.j-what happens if she starves to death
Chris-she won't of will she (laughs)
Duncan that's not funny
Chris-whatever dude u don't no the meaning of funny
Beth-so how did she got lost
D.j-we looked evrywhere at the camp but we couldn't find here
Beth-that means someone took here
Duncan-noooooooooooooooo
Lindsay-uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh
D.j-it's it's it's
Who did they find is courtney? Find out volgende time on the missing person part 3
Lindsay-is that her
D.j-no lindsay that's beth
Chris-beth what are u doing here
Beth-chef told me to come here
Duncan-who cares we have to find courtney
Beth-courtney got lost (laughing)
Duncan it's not funny
Beth-sorry
Chris-ok come let's look behind that tree
D.j-what happens if she starves to death
Chris-she won't of will she (laughs)
Duncan that's not funny
Chris-whatever dude u don't no the meaning of funny
Beth-so how did she got lost
D.j-we looked evrywhere at the camp but we couldn't find here
Beth-that means someone took here
Duncan-noooooooooooooooo
Lindsay-uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh
D.j-it's it's it's
Who did they find is courtney? Find out volgende time on the missing person part 3