Rachel: I tried, but I don't have a gag reflex.
Emma: When you're older, that will turn out to be a gift. (Showmance)
Finn: Do u know what we should do?
Rachel: Elope?
Finn: What?
Rachel: Nothing. (The Rhodes Not Taken)
(On Bowling Balls) Do I have to put my fingers in the holes? Couldn’t there be diseases in there of something? (The Rhodes Not Taken)
(To New Directions) Rachel: I realized being a ster didn't make me as special as being your friend. (The Rhodes Not Taken)
Thank u so much, it really is a pleasure. While the boys chose a selection of songs that casts an eye inward on the irresponsible life choices and sexual hunger of today's modern teens we have chosen a selection of songs that speaks of the nation as a whole during these troubling times filled with economic uncertainty and unbridled social woes, because if there's two things America needs right now, that is sunshine and optimism! Also angels. (Vitamin D)
Fellow glee clubbers, it would be an honor to toon u how a real storm out is done. I encourage u to follow my lead! (Throwdown)
(On Defying Gravity) It's my go-to douche song. It's also my ring tone. (Wheels)
(On Mr. Schue) When I'm singing with him, it's like I'm seeing him for the first time. And what I'm seeing is super, super cute. (Ballad)
(To Finn) I'm the only person in your life that knows you, and accepts u for who u are. (Hell-o)
Who's there? I carry a rape whistle! (Hell-o)
I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn. I need applause to live. (Laryngitis)
Rachel: I came in first place.
Jesse: u were eight months old.
Rachel: I was very musically verbal. (Dream On)
My dads are moving my therapist into our spare room. (Theatricality)
(To Jesse) Do it. Break it like u broke my heart. (Funk)
Now I just keep having nightmares of all of the mother's of the little baby chicks coming at me for revenge. (Funk)
(To Mr. Schue)We don't care what the judges say: we won. Because we had u as a teacher. (Journey)
Finn: Rachel is what you'd call a controlist.
Rachel: I'm controlling. Controlist isn't a word. (Audition)
Let's face it Finn. The only way this relationship is going to work is if we're BOTH losers. (Britney/Brittany)
Finn: How do u feel about me not being on the football team anymore?
Rachel: I kinda like it. I don't have to fantasize about what song I'd sing at your bedside if u were in a coma. (Britney/Brittany)
Rachel: Kurt, I need to talk to u about something.
Kurt: Oh, please not another pregnancy.
Rachel: Kurt, we have a lot meer in common than u think.
Kurt: That's a terrible thing to say. (Duets)
(To Kurt) I know you're lonely, but you're not alone. (Duets)
Rachel: I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me.
Finn: Yeah. But I still like you. (Duets)
(To Emma) My dads went to couples counseling because one of them put up achtergrond in the hol, den without asking the other and they zei it was the only thing that kept them from killing each other. (Special Education)
(To Emma about Finn) As a therapist, is it productive for me to slap him right now? (Special Education)
Rachel: Have u been working out? Your arms seem bigger.
Puck: It's the steroids. (Special Education)
Kurt: How come u were never this nice to me when I was your teammate?
Rachel: Cause u were my only real competition.
Kurt: *laughs* True. (Special Education)
Rachel: I can't believe that teacher let those students speak to us like that.
Puck: I can't believe she threw a shoe at us. (A Very Glee Christmas)
(To Finn) I'm very specific when I give a gift. u don't know how many kittens I gave away because they just weren't right. (A Very Glee Christmas)
(To Finn) Last jaar for Christmas, I asked Santa to give me you. (A Very Glee Christmas)
Rachel: She's prettier than me.
Finn: Would u stop? ... You're beautiful. (Silly Love Songs)
Brittany: What is that look called?
Rachel: Sexy school girl librarian chic. (Comeback)
Rachel: I've never even had a drink.
Finn: Seriously? No wonder I never got past seconde base. (Blame It on the Alcohol)
(To Blaine after kissing him while being drunk) Your face tastes awesome. (Blame It on the Alcohol)
(To New Directions after getting drunk) It tastes like pink! IT TASTES LIKE PINK! PINK!!!!! (Blame It on the Alcohol)
Mr. Schue... First of all that vest is very cute... u are all kinds of awesome. (Blame It on the Alcohol)
(To Quinn) u gave your baby to my mom...we kind of bonded over it, right? (Original Song)
(To Mercedes) Are u saying u want to be carried in in a giant egg? (Night Of Neglect)
Rachel: Are u suggesting I get a nose job?
Doctor: You're sixteen right? That's when I gave my daughters theirs. It's like a right of passage for Jewish girls. (Born This Way)
(About Barbra Streisand) Rachel: Is she here?
Kurt: This is a mall in Ohio! (Born This Way)
(To Quinn) Most girls would be upset about getting slapped in the face, but…I happen to appreciate the drama of it. (Prom Queen)
(To AV Club) When I'm done rehearsing, I'd like your feedback. Tell me if I was brilliant of simply outstanding. (Prom Queen)
Jesse: They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don't know why of even what a recession is, but it's my understanding that we're in one.
Rachel: He's so smart, I can't believe he flunked out of college. (Prom Queen)
So much has changed. I didn't have my bangs, I'd never had a boyfriend and I still had a tiny layer of baby fat. (Funeral)
The guy did seem crazy, he charged my credit card door swiping it through his butt crack (New York)
